To Love Again: A Sweet Romance (Forty and Free Book 1)

by Lillianna Blake

  Nicole’s heart dropped as she recognized an opening for her to hint to invite him for another drink. But it was too late to do it now. She didn’t want to seem desperate.

  “I enjoyed our time too.”

  Tony paused near the end of the hall in front of one of the rooms. He didn’t seem to be doing anything to rush them along.

  “Did you?” Gavin sought her eyes. “I thought maybe I said something to upset you.”

  “No. Not at all. Why would you think that?” When she returned his gaze, she noticed the tension in his lashes, as if he was prepared for her to attack.

  “It’s been a while since I attempted a conversation with a beautiful woman. I must be quite rusty.” His eyes lingered on hers.

  Nicole processed what he’d said. She was aware that the proper response was to thank him. She opened her mouth to say thank you, but instead, laughter poured out. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “What?” His eyebrows lifted and he took a slight step back. “Now I’ve really said something wrong.”

  “No.” Nicole struggled to gain control over the childish giggles that continued to escape her. “It’s just that—I guess it’s been so long since I’ve been called beautiful…” Her voice trailed off.

  The half-smile faded from his lips.

  She realized she may have insulted him with her laughter. “I’m sorry.”

  She glanced away from him and started toward the end of the hall. When she felt the warmth of his palm along the crook of her elbow her heartbeat fluttered. When his fingertips traced the line of her jaw and guided her attention back to him, her racing heart felt like it was going to burst.

  Chapter 10

  The way that Nicole shied away from Gavin’s compliment pulled at his emotions in ways that he couldn’t define. What was meant to be a warm statement seemed to stun her. Was it possible that she was not aware of her own beauty? Did women still exist that didn’t obsess over the way they looked in the mirror each day? Or maybe—his eyes narrowed with the thought—someone had lied to her for a very long time.

  When she started to walk away he couldn’t resist. He let go of the suitcases and his hand grasped her elbow to tug her subtly back toward him. The feel of her silky skin beneath his fingertips as he encouraged her to turn back to look at him inspired mysterious ripples throughout his body.

  He waited until she met his eyes to speak.

  “How could anyone ever call you anything else?”

  Her cheeks reddened and her gaze dropped away.

  “I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable.” His hand fell back to his side. “Like I said—rusty.”

  “No. You haven’t—made me feel uncomfortable, I mean.” She cleared her throat and continued to avoid looking right at him. “It was sweet—very nice of you to say.”

  “It’s the truth, Nicole. Maybe Tony is right. You should give someone the chance to show you just how beautiful you are.”

  “Now I’m starting to think you might be a bit jet-lagged.” She laughed and picked up her suitcase before he could grab it. “But thanks just the same, Gavin. It means a lot to me, coming from someone like you.”

  “Like me?”

  She tugged at a strand of her hair—a nervous habit, Gavin was sure.

  “Yes, you know.” She laughed again.

  He smiled to reassure her. “I’m sorry, I don’t. Would you enlighten me as to what I’m like?”

  “Well…” She started to walk down the hallway as if she needed to escape his attempts to look into his eyes. “Gorgeous, successful—you know.”

  “Now who’s being kind?” His smile spread further as he caught up with her.

  “Please, I’m sure you’re well aware of your effect on women.” She shot him a look.

  They were nearly at the door and Tony seemed to be busying himself with his phone. Gavin was relieved, as he wanted just another moment or two with Nicole. He knew that if she got as far as Tony and the door to her room, she’d never tell him the truth. He wanted to know if his instincts were right.

  “Wait, now that’s not fair.” He stepped in front of her, blocking her path down the hallway. “Exactly what impact do I supposedly have on women?”

  She bit into her bottom lip in a way that puffed it out.

  His thumb twitched with the desire to reach out and caress it, but he didn’t. Instead, he did his best to hold her gaze with his own.

  “I couldn’t.” She shook her head and drew back from him just a half-step.

  “Okay.” He made up for the distance she’d created and then some. His body lingered close to hers—too close, he knew—but she didn’t step back. “Why don’t you just tell me what impact I’m having on this one particular beautiful woman?”

  “Are you always so charming?” She narrowed her eyes a little.

  “I’ve never been accused of it.” He grinned. “But you’re avoiding the question.”

  “Maybe because I don’t have an answer.” She ducked around him and began to walk toward Tony.

  Gavin hesitated for a few seconds while he tried to regain his composure. She wasn’t wrong. He had slipped into a surprising state in an attempt to gain her attention. Maybe he was coming on entirely too strong.

  He really was out of practice—not that he’d had much experience before Amy. Romance had never been his first priority.

  Maybe it was because he was on vacation, or maybe it was just the allure of being thrown into a strange moment with a gorgeous woman, but romance had suddenly become the only thing he could think about. But it wasn’t just the moment—it was Nicole. It had to be Nicole.

  When he caught up to her and Tony at the door, Tony was handing her the key card to her room.

  “Here you go. It will get you into all the other rooms and closed buildings at the resort as well.” He glanced over at Gavin. “Your room is right across the hall, sir.”

  “Thanks.” Gavin reached out and took the key card from him. When he looked back at Nicole her gaze lingered on his.

  “Anything you two need, I’m just a phone call away. I will update you as soon as I hear anything about flights tomorrow.”

  Gavin nodded but he didn’t look away from Nicole. He expected her to drop her gaze, or turn toward her door, instead she matched his steady stare.

  Tony slipped away without another word.

  Gavin flipped the card between his fingertips. “Well?”

  “Well what?” She cleared her throat.

  A slow smile curved his lips as he shifted to rest his shoulder on the frame of the door. “I did ask you a question.”

  Her eyebrow quirked just enough that he thought she was amused. She tilted her head to the side and smiled at him. “I don’t think you were really expecting an answer.”

  He leaned a little closer to her and held her gaze. “But I am. I’m curious. I’ll be wrestling with this mystery for years to come if you don’t enlighten me.”

  “Why be curious if you’re not interested in dating?”

  The way her lips parted just a little when she smiled distracted him for a moment. Then he focused on the question.

  “Did I say that?” He brushed a fingertip back across the rise of his chin. “I don’t recall that.”

  “I bet.” She turned toward her door and slid the card into the slot.

  His heart lurched. This was it—the last chance he had to get her attention. Did he want it? She was gorgeous. That wasn’t the issue. She was also fragile. He knew that instinctively.

  “Nicole.”

  She froze. He watched the tension ripple through her body. Drawn by a desire to comfort her, he reached out and trailed his hand over the curve of her shoulder. “Thanks for making what could have been a very frustrating time a more pleasant one.”

  She glanced over her shoulder at him, but didn’t meet his eyes. “Glad I could help.”

  Then she pushed the door open and disappeared through it.

  Chapter 11

  Nicole closed the d
oor to her room and leaned back against it. Her heart fluttered as if she were back in high school. Was he still out there? She imagined she could feel his gaze through the door. He had a confidence to him that was not arrogant, just certain. It made her shiver from the inside out.

  “Goodness, Nicole, you have been out of the game way too long.” She gulped and covered her mouth. What if he was still outside the door?

  To distract herself, she tugged her suitcase over to the queen-size bed in the room. The lighting was just bright enough to be considered warm. She sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at the tremble in her hands. When did that start?

  She closed her hands into fists. She had to put the thought out of her mind. Gavin would leave the next morning and she would never see him again. Getting caught up in some ridiculous fantasy would only make her self-esteem worse.

  As she closed her eyes, she thought about going back home. The house would be empty. The phone would be silent, as everyone believed she was on vacation. There would only be the quiet walls and the television to keep her company. The thought made her stomach ache.

  “Is that my life now?” She opened her eyes to look at the ceiling. “Years of raising kids, fighting over the cable bill, and sewing curtains, all down to an empty house?” Hot tears bit at the backs of her eyes.

  The happy memories weren’t supposed to stop before retirement age, before there was a chance to sail around the world, or at least to sleep in. She had toasted to being single, as if it was something that she wanted. But it wasn’t. When she closed her eyes again, the tears slipped past her lashes and down along her cheeks.

  The warm swift streak they created across her skin reminded her of Gavin’s touch on the back of her hand—the brush of his hand across her shoulder. To be touched again—not out of obligation, but out of pure desire—that’s what she wanted. To hold hands with someone who would want nothing more than just that.

  As much as she wanted to be angry at Jack for finding that with someone else, she couldn’t be. She didn’t begrudge him his happiness, but she did wonder why she couldn’t experience the same fate.

  “Maybe because you refuse to date?” Her voice drifted through the air around her. She tilted her head back and forth. “Yes, that might be it. I guess if it’s what I want, I have to start some time.”

  She stretched out on her bed and trailed a fingertip along the sleeve of the blouse she was wearing. She wasn’t sure if she believed in fate or not, but if some small part of her did, she was sure that she and Gavin had been steered to the same place for a reason.

  Maybe she needed to throw caution to the wind, as she’d originally planned, and open herself up to Gavin. That was, if he stayed. That was, if she stayed. That was, if he could be interested in a forty-two-year-old mother of two who had been on the shelf for far too many years.

  She pushed aside her self-doubt and closed her eyes. In her imagination, she’d walk across the hall to Gavin’s room. She’d knock. He’d answer and it would all begin.

  But when she opened her eyes again, she was still alone in her room, without any actual plan to change that fact. She forced herself to her feet and trudged into the bathroom to shower. Gavin had given her plenty to think about, that was for sure.

  Once she crawled into bed, she felt her body relax for the first time in a long time. There was no laundry down the hall to be folded. There were no e-mails filling up her inbox about work. She didn’t have to worry about shuttling the kids from activity to activity and there was no need for anything but rest. It struck her that it had been years since she’d felt so relaxed.

  She turned over in the bed and gazed toward the window that overlooked the mountainside. She’d been gearing herself up to end her vacation and head back home, but maybe there were good reasons to stay.

  She could rest. She could escape the stresses of her life just for a little while. She didn’t have to go on dates if she didn’t want to. Instead, she could enjoy what the resort had to offer without a care in the world.

  As she drifted off to sleep, she did so with the notion that maybe she’d changed her mind about leaving.

  She woke up with the first hint of light through the window. For an instant she forgot where she was and what had happened the day before. Then she remembered Gavin’s touch.

  She sprung up out of bed. She had to make a decision, and fast. If she was going to stay then she had to stop the refund from processing. If she was going to go home then she had to accept the fact that she’d never see Gavin again.

  In a rush she got dressed. Her mind still swirled as she wondered if he was already gone. Once she was dressed, she rushed out into the hallway.

  She started to walk toward the lobby but couldn’t resist a glance at Gavin’s door. Was he there? Had he already left? She forced herself to look away. It was silly to even wonder.

  If he did decide to stay, that didn’t mean that he’d want to see her again. Sure, he’d seemed interested the night before, but that didn’t mean the interest would remain.

  Her stomach fluttered as she walked toward the front desk.

  Chapter 12

  The alarm on Gavin’s cell phone blared beside his ear. It was habit for him to wake up every morning at the same time. It didn’t matter if it was the weekend or vacation. Every morning he was up at six o’clock. Any later felt like a waste of time.

  It took him a moment to recognize where he was in the dimly lit, unfamiliar room. He sat up and rubbed his hands along his cheekbones. Thoughts of Nicole had kept him awake late the night before. He just couldn’t put her out of his head.

  Could it really be a coincidence that he’d seen her, first in a local department store and then during a face-to-face meeting in an entirely different state?

  He stood up and walked over to the bathroom. Once the water sprayed out of the shower head, he gave it some time to warm up. His intention was to head back home on the first flight. But something was tugging at his heart.

  Lance had sent him on vacation for a reason. Although Gavin would never admit it to his face, he knew that Lance understood him better than anyone else.

  Lance had been the first to point out to Gavin that things were falling apart with Amy. Gavin hadn’t even noticed. But Lance had. He’d warned Gavin, because he’d seen a change in him that not even Gavin had realized.

  What had Lance seen in him this time that made him insist on a vacation?

  Gavin peered in the bathroom mirror at his hair. Was that pale wisp gray or just a lighter shade of brown? He narrowed his eyes.

  He’d never thought much about getting older. Not much had changed for him as he’d aged, but now, the more he focused on what might happen in the future, the more he understood why maybe Lance had been concerned.

  Gavin had no plans for the future—nothing solid anyway. He would retire when he didn’t want to work anymore. But then what? Florida and shuffleboard? Nepal? He had no idea what to do with himself.

  Maybe that was Lance’s point. There wasn’t much to life without having someone to share it with. At one time he’d considered children but when that wasn’t in the cards for him and Amy he’d just let the idea go. He didn’t care much either way.

  As he dressed, he thought about the vacation again. The room was nice. He didn’t have to be part of the dating scene if he didn’t want to. There might be an opportunity to get to know Nicole better—that was, if she stayed.

  For the first time he considered that he might never see her again. Was he going to let such an opportunity pass him by?

  He grabbed his phone, keys, and wallet. As he stepped out of his room, his gaze lingered on Nicole’s door. The stark white paint tempted him to knock, but he imagined her still sound asleep inside.

  After Amy, the thought of engaging with another woman had left him very hesitant, but if he was being honest with himself, the way he was drawn to Nicole was something he’d never experienced before.

  He made his way to the front desk through halls de
void of other guests Apparently, he was the only person who thought it was a good idea to wake up early on vacation.

  Despite the hour, Tony was waiting for him at the front desk.

  The scuff of Gavin’s shoes against the floor seemed to cause him to look up. His eyes narrowed and his lips tensed when he saw Gavin. It was an expression that Gavin was used to seeing in people. Lance had told him more than once that he had quite the ability to intimidate people. Gavin didn’t really mean for it to be that way—not usually anyway.

  “Gavin, good morning.” Tony transformed his grimace into a smooth smile. “I’m sorry but I haven’t had a chance to arrange a flight yet for you. It’s a bit early.”

  “That’s not why I’m here.” He leaned an elbow on the high counter of the front desk. His heart palpitated as he reviewed his decision in his mind once more.

  “What is it that I can help you with? Would you like breakfast?” Tony’s dark brown eyes searched his in a way that indicated he was eager to figure out what he could do to help.

  “I think I might stay.” It was difficult for Gavin to form those words. It was, in a way, submission to the idea that Lance was right. At least he wasn’t around to hear it. “Is that still a possibility?”

  Tony’s smile spread so wide that his eyes crinkled at the corners. “Yes, absolutely it is. Is your room comfortable or would you like another?”

  “The room is fine.” Gavin straightened up and glanced over his shoulder. Would she stay?

  “If you’d like, I could set you up with some breakfast on the west patio. It has a great view of the mountainside.”

  Tony’s words drew his attention. “Sure. That’s fine.”

  “Give me about fifteen minutes. I could call your room if you’d like.”

  “I think I’ll take a look around.” Gavin shrugged. “I didn’t really get a good look at the place last night.”