JACK WASN’T SURE why he’d told her all that. It was the past, his attempt to run away from here, to forget the familiar things, the places and people he’d shared with Robyn. But he was still running away, even here. He’d used the long, solitary rides into the high country to run away. He’d used work for a while, and maybe he’d started to depend on using this ranch. That possibility shook him. He felt Grace looking at him, but he couldn’t look back at her.
“Sometimes a change of scenery makes a person appreciate what they’ve always had?” she suggested in a soft voice.
“I guess, but that wasn’t my case. I had to be here. It was stupid to think of leaving. This is where my life is, at least, the rest of my life.”
“Your wife...?” Her voice faded for a moment. “She was a teacher?”
Her question was so simple, but it cut through him. And again, he found himself telling her about Robyn as if they’d been friends for life. “She loved kids and teaching just seemed as basic for Robyn as breathing.” He felt the familiar tightness in his throat, but was shocked that his voice was so steady. “Kids were her life. But we waited...there never was a child. We’d just started talking about having one. Robyn wanted to, and I resisted for some reason. Then it was too late.” He cleared his throat. “Would have, should have, could have, didn’t,” he muttered.
He wasn’t prepared when Grace reached out and touched him. Her heat and gentleness grazing his bare arm, and for a split second, he felt a connection. An anchor. That made no sense. She was showing him sympathy, feeling badly for him, and he didn’t want that.
“We all have regrets, believe me,” she almost whispered.
He looked at her then, those lavender eyes touched by exactly that, regret. “You wish you hadn’t divorced?”
She looked startled by the question and broke their contact. He hated the loss of that warm touch but at the same time knew it was probably for the best. “No, I mean, yes. I regret that I married someone I’d end up divorcing. Absolutely. But the divorce had to happen.”
He wondered why any man would divorce this woman. “Problems?”
“One big problem. He didn’t want to be married, and being a father was even further down his list of what he didn’t want to be or do. So he left me before Lilly was born and never looked back.”
Jack couldn’t believe the disgust he felt for a man he’d never known. “His loss,” he said without editing his response.
Grace shrugged and that action seemed to expose such vulnerability in her. “It’s okay,” she said without much conviction. “As bad as my decision was to marry him, I got a great gift from him—Lilly. I wouldn’t give her up for anything, or change the past in any way, except for wishing she’d had a loving father. I’d change that if I could.”
Jack studied Grace, taking in the slight unsteadiness in her jaw as she stared out the front window. “She’s a great kid from what I’ve seen.”
“Yes, she is.”
Jack sat there, the urge to take her hand almost overwhelming. “And you want this place to be the home for your child?”
“Absolutely,” she said without hesitation, and the tension in her face eased, almost giving way to a determined smile.
Jack figured he should not have come here. But he had, and right then, his life was messier than ever. His emotions were all tangled in the past, fighting for the present. The idea of getting his land back by taking Grace to court died a sudden death. He wouldn’t do that. He couldn’t. And he wouldn’t even try to explain that to himself, much less to anyone else.
That was about the only solid thought right then, everything else was up in the air. He couldn’t get anything settled beyond that, and he needed to. Those lavender eyes were on him again, and he was so aware of the way she was nibbling on her bottom lip, as if unsure what to do about her thoughts. That same uncertainty echoed in him.
He shook his head sharply to refocus, but it didn’t help. Nothing was making sense. He touched the gearshift, knowing he should let her get out so he could leave. But part of him didn’t want to.
“Jack?” Grace said, cutting through his confusion.
“You don’t need to tell me anything else,” he said.
“It’s not that. I just wanted to say that no matter what happens, I hope things work out for you.”
That almost stopped his heart, and he closed his eyes for a fleeting moment before looking back at her. “Thank you.”
“I understand about you wanting the land, maybe needing it, because I do, too. It’s beautiful, and you’ve been here all your life. This is what you know, what you love. It’s just, I’ve never had anything like this. I’ve never even lived in a house, much less one with all this land.” Her eyes were overly bright for a moment. “You’ve got everything. You’ve got family and this town, and friends on top of friends. You’re so lucky, so very lucky.”
Her words almost broke his heart. And they were true. He had it all, except a reason to be here, to keep going, to find a life beyond his old one. If there was a woman like Grace in his future— He stopped that thought dead in its tracks. He couldn’t think about that. “You’re right,” he managed to say, and if she hadn’t touched his arm again, he would have ended it there. But she did.
He covered her hand with his, and the heat of her infiltrated him. The connection was so strong that it all but took away his breath. Before he understood what he was doing, or what he needed, he leaned toward her, lifting his hand from hers to cup her chin. Then his lips found hers, soft and slightly parted. Heaven help him, he didn’t want to stop. He’d found the woman he needed. Grace. And he knew that he would never find a woman like her again.
No, he had had a woman he’d loved desperately, and the memory of her made him jerk back. He could barely focus on her face, the eyes heavy-lidded, her lips parted, and it took all of his will to pull away. Before he could embarrass himself by trying to apologize, she let him off the hook by turning away and grabbing the door handle.
“I need to go back to the house,” she said on a slightly hoarse whisper. Then she was out of the car and walking quickly up the driveway. She didn’t look back, but Jack couldn’t take his eyes off her as she headed up the path.
Slim hips, slender legs, her ponytail swaying with each step of her determined stride. He watched until she was gone from sight completely, but even then, Jack just sat there in the idling Jeep, not moving. He faced the fact that it wasn’t just his need for this land that was getting to him, it was the woman who now owned it.
Before he’d met her, she’d simply been the obstacle to his regaining possession of his grandfather’s ranch, the person he had to convince to leave. But once he met Grace, it had never been that simple. He closed his eyes for a moment, but opened them again as the memory of the kiss hit him hard.
Heat and softness and need. He turned and jammed the Jeep into gear then took off in a squeal of tires. He’d lost all ability to deal with his life right then. He couldn’t. And he couldn’t face his family or his friends. They were all poised to do what his father had suggested. But he wouldn’t do that, not ever. The land was lost to him. It was that simple, and he had to find a way to let it go.
Jack entered the main ranch on the service road, saddled his horse and rode off to the west, intent on bypassing the Rez and going up into the high country as he had planned before his father’s “idea” had been put before him. This time he wouldn’t stop until he got the taste of Grace off his lips and the thought of her out of his head. Hours later, he was on a high ridge, the sun dipping in the west, and he still didn’t have any answers. Nothing made sense. Nothing at all. He’d go back. He’d forget about the old adobe, and he’d try to figure out where to go from there. He would. He had to. But one thing he knew, there weren’t any answers for him up here. They had to come from inside himself.
He rode back slowly, and it was approaching dusk when he got to the ranch. He’d stabled his horse and was almost to the Jeep when his mother came hurrying
toward him from the house.
“Oh, I’m glad I caught you,” she said. “Your father just told me about his so-called plan.”
Jack just stared at her.
“He’s trying to make things right, you know that, but he can’t let you do it this way.”
He hadn’t expected that. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I met that girl and her child and her mother, and they’re good, decent people who just want to make a good life out here.”
She’d met Grace? “When?”
“I went by there to welcome them to the ranch and to town,” she said firmly. “They’re our neighbors now. We welcome neighbors.”
“Or course we do.”
“And?” she asked, frowning at him, waiting.
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to take anyone to court or evict anyone.” He heard the weariness in his voice. “I’m not going to do anything.”
She sighed with obvious relief. “Good, good.” She touched his arm. “Tomorrow, I’m going to ask Grace and her family over for the afternoon. I hope you’ll be here.”
“Mom, I don’t think so.”
She frowned, a sadness in her eyes. “You have to talk to your father,” she said softly. “This is breaking his heart.”
“Not now,” he said in a rough voice, and headed back to his Jeep. But as he drove away, he realized he had nowhere he wanted to go. So he stopped at the first place he came to. The police station.
John took one look at him and said, “Come on in the office.”
As soon as he’d closed the door and Jack sank down in one of the chairs, he said, “Okay, what happened?”
Jack told him about his father’s idea, then leaned back with a long exhalation. “I can’t kick that family off the land, even if I get a court order to do it.”
“I didn’t think you would,” John said. “Not for a minute.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
GRACE TOOK HER mother and Lilly into town for dinner at the restaurant, partly to put in an application, and partly because she didn’t want to sit around the house thinking about Jack kissing her.
Clare Money was at the reception desk, and greeted Grace as if she’d always been coming there. It felt good to be recognized, and not just another person wandering in the door looking for food. A young, red-haired waitress showed them to their table, took their drink orders, then Lilly and her mother picked up their menus.
Grace didn’t touch hers. She excused herself to go back into the reception area. Clare looked up from the reservation log, and smiled. “I hope everything’s okay in there.”
“Oh, great. I just wondered, you know I’m new in town, and I thought I’d ask if you needed any other servers.” Grace told her about her experience, offering to get references, and said she was available for any shift.
Clare studied her, then nodded. “You know, you came in just at the right time. The girl who seated you, Misty Nelson, just gave me her two weeks’ notice.” She reached below the counter and handed Grace a single sheet of paper. “Just fill this out and bring it back when you can. As it stands, I think I’d like to give you a try to fill Misty’s slot.”
She took the paper without looking at it. “Thanks.”
“If you’re as good as your experience, I’d love to have you on board.”
“I’ll fill this in right now, and drop it off when we leave.”
“Perfect.”
Grace hurried back to their table, another burden lifted. She slipped into the booth opposite her mother and daughter, smiling. “Whatever you want, it’s on me,” she said magnanimously.
Gabriella, looking more relaxed than Grace could ever remember, laughed. “You were buying anyway.”
“Yes, but now it’s steaks if you want.” She reached for her own menu. “Big, juicy steaks.”
Lilly frowned, her pig tails swinging as she shook her head. “No, I want a hot dog,” she said. Steaks had no allure for the child. “Two hot dogs.”
“Two hot dogs it is,” Grace said as their server, Misty, came back for their orders.
Before Grace could speak, Misty spoke to her. “I hear you’re going to be doing my job in a couple of weeks?”
“It looks that way.”
“Well, that’s great! If you want to come in sometime this week or next, I can go over things with you. You know, regular customers, what they like, how we put in the orders. I’m here every weekday from three to eight.”
“That’s so nice of you. I’d be glad to pick your brain.” She felt her mother watching her. “I’ll be in soon.”
“Good, now, what would you all like to eat?”
After Misty left with their orders, Gabriella leaned forward. “You got a job here?”
“Yes, at least a trial.” She laid the application on the table and fished in her bag for a pen. “I just have to get this filled out and leave it before we go, but I’m hoping I don’t get Misty’s hours, more like mornings, so Lilly will be in school when I’m gone.”
“That’s great,” her mother said, glancing around the restaurant. “It doesn’t look like the staff dresses up.”
A shirt and slacks, black and white. “No, the uniform’s simple, and the food’s good.”
Her mother looked puzzled. “How do you know?”
She thought she’d told her mother about eating here with Jack, but then again, so much had been going on, especially with Jack. For a second, all she could remember was the kiss, but she quickly pushed that memory aside. “Jack and I ate here for lunch once.”
Her mother lifted one finely arched eye row. “Oh?”
“I ran into him when I looked at the school, and he offered and I thought I could check the place out. Seems it was a very fortuitous decision on my part.”
Grace rapidly filled in the form. One problem after another seemed to be vanishing. This was good, very good. When she’d finished, she set the form to one side, and sat back. She noticed two things at once. Misty, coming from a side door with their plates of food, and three people entering the front door.
She didn’t know two of them, but Jack was the third. He was with a man and woman. The man wore a police uniform and the woman was holding his hand. Grace turned away, glad Jack hadn’t noticed them.
Misty placed their food in front of them. “Anything else I can get you?”
“Ketchup?” Lilly piped up.
“Absolutely, darling,” Misty said, and went to the next table to get a bottle. “Enjoy,” she said and left.
The steaks looked big and juicy, but Grace found that her appetite was fading fast. Lilly and Gabriella dug into their food with relish. Grace stood and grabbed the application. “I’ll be right back,” she said, and crossed to the reception desk again.
Clare wasn’t there, and the area was empty. As Grace turned to retreat to her table, she came face to face with Jack. He wore black slacks and a coffee-colored shirt that was open at the neck, and his midnight-black hair was slicked back as if he’d showered recently.
“Hi,” she said, feeling as awkward as a teenager.
He looked past her, then met her gaze. “So, you’re going to be working here?”
She didn’t even ask how he knew. Misty was his waitress, too, she bet. “I hope so.”
She heard him exhale, a sound that was very close to a sigh. Something was wrong, and she found herself bracing herself. “I was going to say something. I wasn’t certain at first, but now I’m very sure about what to do.”
“What?”
“It’s about the ranch. I wanted to let you know that—”
A door opened and a large party of customers piled into the reception area. Clare appeared, smiling and greeting everyone, and their voices filled the small space. Jack didn’t move, his eyes not leaving hers, but he stopped talking.
“Do you want to go outside, or something, to talk?” she asked, hating the question, because she had a gut feeling she didn’t want to hear what he wanted to say to her.
“Jack!”
Gage shook his head. “I scrapped the trip. We had some interviews in family court.” He smiled down at the very somber little girl. “Another hearing done with.” He glanced at Grace. “I’m sorry to be interrupting you two.”
Jack quickly introduced Grace to his brother, his fiancée, Merry, and their little girl Erin. Jack had mentioned the adoption. Grace smiled, said the right things, but her mind was stuck on what Jack wanted to talk to her about. Finally, he said, “I’m here with John and his wife.” He motioned with his head toward the dining room. “They’d love to see you two and especially Erin.”
When the three had left, Jack looked down at Grace unblinkingly. “You know, your food’s getting cold, and my party’s waiting for me.” He motioned vaguely with both hands, palms up. “Bad timing.”
“No,” she said, her nerves so tight she wanted to scream. “No. What did you need to say?”
Jack hesitated. “Nothing that can’t wait.” He glanced over at Clare. “Tell John I had to leave?”
“Nothing’s wrong, is there?”
“I just need to leave,” Jack said, then looked back at Grace. “Enjoy your meal,” he said, and walked away.
Grace watched the door shut behind him, then turned and headed back to her table.
* * *
GRACE WAS ON the porch at dawn, not expecting Jack to show up, but disappointed when he didn’t. She’d been awake most of the night. She figured she knew what he was trying to tell her before he took off. He wanted the ranch, and had decided not to wait for her to fail. Maybe he had found a way to get the land back. He was an attorney, after all, but Mr. Vaughn had told her that her deed was binding.
It was Saturday, and the day dragged on, until Gabriella reminded her about their invitation to the Carson Ranch. Grace didn’t want to go, but Lilly was so excited. By three o’clock they were at the ranch, in the huge stables, visiting with Herbert and Lark Carson. Jack’s father was very like his sons, although not dark, and his waist had begun to thicken with middle age. But he was very friendly, and Lilly took right to him.
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