Now or Never

by A. J. Bennett

  Never again, she thought.

  10/2/13 7:37 AM

  Grayson Alexander

  I’m sorry.

  10/2/13 7:38 AM

  Luna Alexander

  You can make it up when you get here.

  10/2/13 7:38 AM

  Grayson Alexander

  I’ll be there in a couple of days. I told Mom I lost my phone, so if she asks that’s the story, but we both know I threw that thing out the damn window. I’ll probably stop and grab a prepaid, so I can check my messages. If you hear from Josh, you don’t know where I am.

  10/2/13 7:39 AM

  Luna Alexander

  If I hear from Josh, I’ll tell him to go screw himself. Anyway, that ass hole knows how I feel about him. I’m pretty sure I’d be the last person on earth he would call to help him get you back.

  Grayson laughed and realized she really missed her crazy sister. That was so typical Luna—honest, blunt, and unknowingly hysterically funny.

  After she said good-bye and logged off of Skype, she didn’t even stop to think. One by one, she deleted all her accounts and made new ones. New Facebook, new email, new Skype—and every single one she made private and blocked Josh. It was a pain, and took her nearly an hour to accomplish, but by the time she was done, she’d completely cut Josh from her life.

  Well worth the time spent to get away from him.

  Grayson closed the computer’ and wiggled her toes.

  Freedom. The phrase made her think of her favorite movie, “Braveheart.” Back when her Dad was still a part of her life, he introduced her to all of Mel Gibson’s greatest hits; he could recite every single line from “Braveheart.”

  Yeah, but look where that “freedom” got William Wallace, she reminded herself.

  He was killed for high treason. Hopefully, that wasn’t a sign of Grayson’s own fate.

  No negative thoughts, she chided herself.

  The first thing she was going to do was eat. She was starving. Well, the second thing. Shower first. Her hair smelled like mildewed sheets.

  The water pressure was pathetic, so she didn’t linger. She stayed in just long enough to wash off the feeling of sleeping under stinky motel covers. She slipped into a pair of jeans, a green T-shirt with the Recycle symbol, and flip-flops, and opted to go without make-up simply because she could.

  After she was ready, she packed her things and stowed them in the Jeep, then checked out—happy to see the gross guy from the night before had been replaced by a pink-cheeked young girl who was fast and friendly.

  The day was warm and bright as she walked into the parking lot, her stomach growling. She’d been in such a hurry to leave last night; she didn’t bother to eat other than the apple and iced tea she’d grabbed at a gas station. She couldn’t believe she was going to drive cross-country by herself.

  Settling her sunglasses on her nose, Grayson made a beeline for the Waffle House next door.

  The bell jingled as she entered the air-conditioned interior. The sound was abnormally loud and everyone turned to look, making her feel self-conscious. She was always the shy twin, leery of being the center of attention.

  A chorus of a very enthusiastic “welcome and good morning” rang out from behind the counter, and a rail-thin waitress smiled as she wiped down a table just inside. “Seat yourself,” she chirped.

  Grayson grabbed a small table on the outside wall, so she’d have a view outside. She turned over the sticky laminated menu and glanced over the breakfast offerings, even though she already knew what she wanted.

  The waitress came by with a mug and coffee pot.

  “Coffee?” she asked.

  Grayson smiled. “You read my mind.”

  “Coffee makes the world go round,” the woman said and sat the pot down to pull out a pen and pad. “What can I get ya?”

  Grayson ordered eggs, hash browns with cheese, bacon, and toast. She usually ate pretty healthy, so it was nice to order a greasy fattening meal. She’d lost over ten pounds since meeting Josh because he liked her to be on the slim side. She, on the other hand, preferred curves. Just another reminder of how bad he was for her.

  Bring on the carbs.

  Grayson felt awkward eating by herself. She realized she couldn’t recall the last time she had been to a restaurant alone, and she didn’t even have a phone to stare at so she didn’t look pathetic.

  Get used to it, she thought wryly. She needed to learn to be on her own, to enjoy her own company. Somewhere during the last three years, her personality was replaced with a submissive girl. She’d always been introverted, but she’d never been insecure before. Josh made her feel flawed—broken, even. She shuddered at the thought. How could she waste three years of her life?

  No more. Like a snake shedding its skin, Grayson was leaving that person behind.

  For good.

  CHAPTER 5

  Two days later, Grayson crossed into Nashville city limits just as the sun was about to set. A beautiful orange glow blanketed the city. Following the twists and turns of the road, she scanned the trees they were alight with brilliant shades of copper, maroon, and yellow. It was truly beautiful, and something she hadn’t seen in a long time. Seasonal changes were practically nonexistent in Arizona.

  This is what fall is supposed to look like, she thought.

  Grayson was peaceful, though exhausted from the trip. She felt warm and happy after two days on the road, alone with her thoughts and disconnected from anything hurtful or obnoxious. She didn’t even miss her phone and its endless supply of social media…yet, anyway. She was sure, by the time she was standing still at her mom’s house, she’d be dying for a welcomed distraction.

  Only an hour more and she would be home. Well, to her mother’s home, at least. She had no idea where her “home” was anymore.

  She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel to the music. Her mom was off on a weekend scrapbook retreat, so she wouldn’t be at the house. Grayson hadn’t known such things, like scrapbook retreats, even existed; three whole days devoted to pasting pictures on thick cardboard and cutting shapes with curly-edged scissors, all in the name of preserving memories. However, at least Grayson would have privacy and time to get settled in while she figured out what she was going to do with herself. Maybe she could finish her degree online, or just take a year off and get a job. It would all get sorted somehow.

  Not to mention she was way too exhausted to get the third degree from her family on exactly what happened back in Arizona. Right now, she just wanted to fall into bed and sleep for days.

  Forty minutes later, she caught a glance of a Starbucks sign. As if it had called her name, Grayson flicked on the blinker and took the exit ramp. Why pass up a Starbucks? If Starbucks offered caffeine IV drips, she would be first in line; she lived for that place. Grayson was only about fifteen minutes from her mother’s house, but her mom was a tea drinker. Her supply of instant coffee would do in a pinch, but who knew if the flighty woman even had milk?

  Grayson decided to stretch her legs and go inside instead of hitting the drive-through. She rubbed her bare arms and quickened her step, her toes chilly in her flip-flops. It was just her luck a cold front had passed through that day, putting a bite to the wind that made for perfect coffee weather. For Tennessee, this probably wasn’t all that cold, but she’d lived in hot, dusty Arizona for so long that anything below sixty felt arctic. It was hot in Arizona, but not so much in Tennessee. She should have thought to pull out a jacket, or at least tennis shoes. All she had thought about was getting the hell out of there.

  A wave of warmth and the aroma of coffee hit her as soon as she opened the door. Of course, there was a line of customers waiting. It wouldn’t be a corporate-owned coffee house if that wasn’t the case. So she made her way to the restroom to freshen up, and then took her place in line. Grayson found herself behind two women talking loudly about the dark-haired woman’s asshole of a husband.

  Nothing like spreading around your dirty laundry,Grayson thought making
a face. Though inwardly, she was happy that wasn’t her five years later, married to Josh and regretting it.

  She glanced around, desperate for something to take her mind off their asinine chatter. The cafe was crowded; full of college kids with books open on the table, couples chatting, and a few loners on computers. It was a great atmosphere, the kind of place she would have come to study back in Arizona.

  Grayson noticed a guy sitting at a corner table, reading a book beneath a dangling lamp. The dim bulb cast his silhouette in a shadow, highlighting his strong jaw and broad shoulders. He glimpsed up, just an innocent flick of his eyes, and their gazes locked.

  Her stomach fluttered and her body temperature went up a few degrees. What the hell? Grayson was shocked at the immediacy of her reaction.

  Quickly, she cast her eyes to the floor and willed herself not to turn in his direction. He was just a random stranger in a café, nothing special. But she couldn’t help herself; it was as if something was bewitching her to look.

  Trying to act nonchalant, she decided there was no harm in taking another peek. As if he felt her gaze upon him, his head instantly popped up and he grinned.

  Grayson stood frozen, her heart pounding. She couldn’t even tell what color his eyes were at that distance, but she could tell he was sexy—that much was evident. The rugged, outdoor type of sexy, not the pretty-boy type like Josh. The guy exuded confidence and sex, making Grayson’s desire overwhelm her. She felt his sex appeal wash over her body, heating her skin until her face was flushed. How could her body react so strongly to a stranger? She couldn’t take her eyes off him.

  It didn’t help that he was staring back at her.

  “What can I get you?”

  Grayson turned, startled at the intrusion, and realized it was her turn to order. The short, blonde barista looked at her expectantly.

  She fought the urge to fan herself, hoping her body temperature would ratchet down now that she wasn’t caught in a staring contest with the sex on a stick in the corner. “Um, I’ll have a small caramel mocha.”

  “Ok, so a tall caramel mocha got it. Will there be anything else for you today?”

  She shook her head no. She thought it was so annoying when the baristas corrected her after she said “small.” What the heck was the difference anyway, and wasn’t the customer “always right” regardless?

  “What’s your name?”

  “Grayson.”

  The curvy teenager wrote her name on the cup and handed it off to the girl working the bar. “Four-eighty is your total.”

  Grayson paid for her overpriced tall coffee, and then made her way to the end of the counter, drawing closer to the hot guy with the book, making her heart rate increase again. She turned her back to him, sad that he didn’t look up from reading.

  She watched a sweet-faced barista effortlessly make her caramel mocha, all the while hyper-alert to his presence behind her. Why was she acting like an idiot? He was just a guy; he probably didn’t even give her another thought after their brief eye gaze exchange.

  Once she got her drink, she made her way to the cream and sugar stand to grab a napkin and hightail it out of there. She turned to leave and slammed into a solid wall of muscle.

  Shit.

  Coffee spilled on her hand and down the front of his black T-shirt. As she held the remains of her coffee out of harms way, her chest pressed firmly against his. Horrified, she lifted her gaze.

  He cupped her elbows with both hands and steadied her, his startling green eyes ringed with gold swept over her. Then he reached around her, grabbed a napkin, and wiped the hot coffee off her hand. She caught herself giving him the once over while she had his gaze elsewhere; he was so hot, his dark red hair was so fitting to his rugged facial features.

  “You alright?”

  Grayson mumbled something that didn’t sound like English. Her breath caught at her throat as she took in his powerful frame: his legs were slightly parted and his faded jeans clung to his muscular thighs. His T-shirt was stretched over his broad shoulders.

  He smiled instantly softening his hard face. “Why don’t you come and sit down with me?”

  “Um, what?”

  He tilted his head towards his seat, “The cafe is full. You can share my table.”

  Good grief.

  All she did was make eye contact with the guy, and now he thought that gave him the right to invite her to sit down? She’d clearly been in a relationship way too long, because she had no idea how to react to his question. A part of her was curious about this man who made her heart rate speed up with just a glance, but a much bigger part of her wanted to turn and run. She just got out of one relationship; she wasn’t about to start another the moment she drove into town. Besides, she’d always heard two redheads were a disaster waiting to happen.

  No thanks, she thought, I have had enough disaster in my life for at least five more years.

  Although, her mother claims she’s only half redhead, the other half light blonde. So maybe it would only be half a disaster?

  Snap out of it Grayson, she thought, trying to get her shit together and not look like a blabbering idiot.

  “I can’t. I have to meet my family. But thanks for the offer.” Grayson tried to step by him, but he widened his stance and blocked her.

  “Can I at least give you my number?”

  Oh my God, Grayson thought, this guy was persistent. He was hot as hell, but come on.

  “Do you hit on every girl who walks through the door?” Grayson asked with a little attitude in her voice; she couldn’t let another man gain the upper hand on her so fast.

  He laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and she wondered how old he was. “Not all of them.”

  “Well, that’s a relief. I guess I should feel special or something.”

  Someone behind Grayson cleared their throat, and she realized they were clogging up the condiments stand.

  “Sorry,” Grayson apologized, then brushed past the guy whose name she didn’t even know, and hustled towards the door.

  He didn’t give up, however, following closely behind.

  This guy can’t take rejection; she pondered, that, or he’s never experienced it. He was smoking hot after all, so it was a possibility.

  Irritated as hell, she stopped and turned, “I told you—not interested.”

  His green-eyed gaze searched her eyes. Finally, he shrugged.

  A shrug, really, that’s all I get? This guy was making Grayson feel like she was bipolar.

  “Grayson, just take my number. You can call or not, the ball is totally in your court. You can even throw it away as soon as you walk out the door, just humor me.”

  Grayson’s jaw dropped, but she shut it quickly. “How do you know my name?”

  He tilted his head towards the cup in her hand, a sly smile upon his face. She felt beyond foolish; he probably heard the barista call out her name too. Josh made her into a completely paranoid human being.

  “Wait one second,” he said, holding up a hand. “Don’t leave yet.”

  She watched as he made his way to the front of the line, cutting in front of eight people, including the one in mid-order, and he spoke to the cashier. He returned with a pen, gently extracted her cup from her hand, and in block letters wrote “DERRICK” and a phone number. His hands brushed hers as he handed the cup back, and it was as if a shot of electricity coursed through her body. Startled, she yanked her hand away as if she was burned.

  What the hell kind of magnetic charge did this guy have? What int the world is happening to me?

  Without another word, she turned and walked out of the cafe. She could feel his eyes on her as she crossed the lot and got into her Jeep.

  In the comforting interior of her car, Grayson let out a deep breath and lifted her cup to eye the name and number.

  Note to self: avoid Starbucks.

  CHAPTER 6

  A sigh of relief escaped Grace as she turned into the quiet suburban neighborhood where her mother lived.
The yards looked just like tiny postage stamps—perfectly green and landscaped with all manner of brilliant flowers and box hedges. Misty streetlights lined the sidewalks alongside pretty picket fences and discarded toys from the day. It was similar to their old neighborhood back home in Florida. At least her mother’s taste hadn’t changed.

  So much else had changed since the day she graduated high school. Grayson still found it hard to get used to the fact that her mom had moved to Tennessee. She had been positive her mom would retire and stay in Florida. Of course, it made sense that she would want to be closer to her only grandchildren, especially after her youngest kids had flown the coop—Grayson to Arizona, and even though Luna remained in Florida, she moved into her own apartment not long after Grayson left.

  She couldn’t believe her sister was also in Tennessee. There was something to be said for the comfort of family and knowing you could always come home.

  Case in point, Grayson thought as she pulled into the drive at 3309 and cut the engine.

  The house sat off to the left at the end of the cul-de-sac. Her mother had left the porch light on for her, and it brought a smile to her face. Her brother, a Green Beret, was extremely conscious about security. He’d spent his life drilling his sisters and mother on the importance of taking precautions: Never let anyone know you’re out of town, have your mail delivery stopped until you return, keep at least one light on in the house, set your alarm, etc…

  Hopping out of the Jeep, Grayson pushed her disheveled hair behind her ears and grabbed her coffee before getting the bags from the backseat. The security lights came on as she ambled up the driveway. Her shoulders ached from the drive, and her butt was numb for sitting down so long.

  The flower bed stopped her in her tracks, like it always did. Mom had always said a well-groomed garden could make any house feel like a home. Grayson thought back to her own crappy apartment in Arizona, devoid of flowers, Josh thought they were a waste of money. Anger welled up in her chest, but she was determined not to let her past have a hold on her future.