Heart Song

by Samantha LaFantasie

The top of a small stone house came into view just as we climbed the crest of a hill. The roof was made from twigs and straw. Behind it, just a short jaunt away, was another small hut with black smoke billowing from the chimney. The sound of a rhythmic clank-tink floated on the air.

  “Raden,” Enid called out, “we have need of your service.”

  In response, a short man with a long beard and hair pulled back, strutted out from the smoking building. His skin and clothing were covered in a fine black dust. I nearly gasped when I realized he looked exactly like the dwarf statue in the room with the weapons—only not made of stone, wearing armor, or wielding an ax.

  “Ne'er seen a dwarf before, have ye?” His bright green eyes twinkled under the layers of soot that covered his face.

  I shook my head and stammered, “N-no, sorry, I thought the stories were all myths.”

  “No worries, lass. Ye'll soon discover there are things about the world ye live in that the books didn't cover.” He winked at me and held out his arms for the sword. I handed it to him, and watched as he turned and started for the small building he came out of. From that angle, I saw that his hair was not only covered in black soot but was black. I felt my mouth gaping open and forced myself to close it.

  “Marren would like for you to bring it back once you are done. Don't sharpen it, A'lainn wants to do that.”

  The dwarf paused long enough to turn around and say, “It'll be a while. Ye really dinted the girl.”

  “Why is the sword considered a girl?” I asked Enid.

  He shrugged with his arms crossed over his chest. “Everything has an essence. That one seems to like being handled like a woman...” Enid started walking along the road back towards Marren's marble palace.

  “Oh really?” I asked sarcastically. “And how exactly does a woman like to be held? Because, I have yet to meet one that likes to be smacked against another repeatedly.”

  He continued walking without a word. I followed behind, more slowly, taking as much time as was stubbornly possible.

  4

  Forgotten Secrets

  I stepped into the corridor, my mind preoccupied with trying to figure out the puzzle my life had become. As I made my way to my room, I fell deeper and deeper into my thoughts. So much so that I hadn’t noticed Enid’s voice calling out to me—until he shouted.

  “A'lainn?”

  I turned around, concerned about the reason for his tone. “Yes?” I asked.

  He had a worried look on his face. The sadness in his eyes made them a darker blue. “Would you like anything brought to your room?”

  I shook my head. “No, thank you.”

  “Very well.” He nodded then turned on his heels and walked back into the dining hall.

  I finished the trek to my room, stopping in front of the door to watch how the vines and flowers moved and grew right in front of me. “How is this done?” I asked myself, reaching out my hand to touch the door.

  “It's magic,” Marren whispered in my ear. I pulled my hand back and turned around to an empty hallway.

  Shaking my head with a sigh, I pushed through the doors and then slid them shut behind me. I walked over to the sitting area of the room and took a seat facing the fire. I draped a leg over the arm of the chair and bounced it mindlessly as I stared at the lapping flames, mulling over my thoughts once more. I saw the doors open from the corner of my eye and someone step inside. I reluctantly stood and faced Marren.

  “Relena,” he greeted, lowering his head slightly towards me.

  “Marren,” I said and returned the same gesture.

  “Enid tells me that you have questions for me?”

  I chuckled under my breath, “None you'd give answers to, unfortunately.”

  “Try me.” His words came out hypnotically.

  I considered my recent experience with thinking he was behind me and chalked it up to the enchantment that had come over me since being there. I walked to the balcony and stared at the mountains that I had come to realize were the Peaks of Domar. Marren joined me, leaning against the top of the stone railing. I glanced in his direction, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the way he was staring at me so intently, waiting for an answer. I felt my cheeks start to warm and quickly decided to go with one of the most pressing questions first, since he was so bent on answering them.

  “What is your fascination with me?”

  “Next question,” he said coolly.

  “You didn't even answer that one,” I replied almost too fast.

  “Next question.”

  I sighed. “I still don't understand what is going on at all, or the importance of me, or your interest with any of it. It's making my head spin.” So does the way the sun glints off your black hair like starlight and the way it makes your skin sparkle. I couldn't help but think about how much had changed with me, and uncontrollably so. It had something to do with this place. This enchanted palace.

  “That wasn't a question.”

  “No, it wasn't.” I turned around and sat down with my back against the stone. “Will you explain what is going on?”

  “No. Not yet.” He sat down with me and pulled up a knee to his chest, resting his arm on it, allowing his hand to dangle limply.

  “Figures,” I muttered sourly.

  “You're still convinced that I'm trying to seduce you.” He smiled.

  “I never once accused you of trying to seduce anyone. So, I have no idea where you got that idea. I simply think that you are conceited and you think you can woo any woman into your trap with a look or a smile. You think you're charming and actually you're arrogant.”

  He chuckled.

  I sighed at my body's reaction to his laughter. It was partly out of annoyance and partly out of surrender. When I lifted my head to look at the sky, I banged it against the stone railing with a loud thud. “Ow.”

  Marren's chuckle grew into a laugh. I tried to not let it sing to me, but it was far too hard. It controlled me, completely taking over my will. I joined in, laughing loudly. I hated to admit it, but it felt really good.

  “You should laugh more often,” he commented. His eyes held mine for a moment and I caught the slight pull of his lips. The soft lips… my heart did a strange flip and then sank lower. The sudden shift in me...it scared me.

  I looked away and cleared my throat. “So, am I wrong?” I asked to change the subject.

  “About which part?”

  “My observation of you.”

  “Yes,” he said more seriously.

  I shifted, facing him with my knees curved around me. “Then tell me about yourself?”

  “What do you want to know?” It almost sounded too willing.

  “I'm not falling for that again. You have a habit of avoiding or disregarding my questions.”

  “I won't avoid or disregard your questions,” he promised.

  “Sure you won't,” I teased.

  He took in a deep breath and let it out heavily. “I don't believe the things you say about me because I don't see them. I don't think I'm all that great looking, so I can't really see how I use my charms to get my way. I feel extremely alone in this seemingly overcrowded world and I'm completely fascinated with you for reasons I can't explain.” His eyes fell on mine with the last words he said.

  I sucked in my breath, caught by the way he just laid it out there for me to see. I got that same feeling in the pit of my stomach as the night before. He was telling the truth and I believed him. Even more so, I related to him. I, too, felt alone in this world and never considered myself a thing of beauty. Both of us had to deal with a haunting reputation. Then he admitted he was fascinated with me which brought on a whole other flux of emotions. I didn't know whether I wanted to take flight from elation or cry as the pun of a cruel joke. Then it became clear that he had knocked down the walls I built to protect myself. I was confused as well as scared.

  “You can breathe,” he said.

  “I think I forgot how to,” I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my ar
ms tightly around them.

  “Come on, I want to show you something.” He stood and held out his hand for me and then led me down the stairs to the doors with the two armored figures on either side. He pushed them open, letting the sight of the garden fill my eyes. The jagged stone pathway circled around a giant statue of a woman bending over, gripping the ends of her dress, like she was about to step into a stream or prevent them from being frayed by the rough ground. Pure serenity filled her face. There was no worry that wrinkled her brow, and there was no pain in her eyes. Her lips were relaxed and sealed in the faintest hint of a smile. The flower bushes that grew around her pedestal had small pink buds poking out against the dark green leaves and branches.

  We followed the path that wound its way through the garden. On either side, bushes upon bushes of different flowers were starting to bud and release their sweet scents into the world. I walked alongside Marren at a casual stroll. The sounds of birds singing songs of joy filled the woods that surrounded the garden. The sun lightly sprinkled its warmth. A soft sigh escaped me.

  “Do you believe me?” Marren asked.

  “Believe what?”

  He chuckled. “What I said in your room.”

  “Yes...at least, I think so. Then again, I don't really know.” I let out a deep breath then added, “Mostly.”

  “What don't you believe?”

  “That you don't believe women swoon over you. You would have to be blind. They practically throw themselves at your feet.”

  “Or, perhaps my gaze is otherwise preoccupied...”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “Nothing really, and not every woman throws herself at my feet. You don't.”

  “Now that isn't going to work with me.” I stopped walking then grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop and look at me also. “You can't be cryptic with 'nothing really' after saying something about being preoccupied. And I have reasons for not buying into your charm.”

  “How would it feel if your looks were what condemned you?” he asked.

  I let my hand fall to my side. I knew exactly what he was talking about, and I fought hard to forget. “I already know how that feels...for different reasons,” I whispered, blinking away tears, and continued on the path.

  “Is that why you try to keep yourself so guarded? What happened to you, Relena?” His words were soft and filled with concern.

  “A lot of things that someone in your position would never understand.”

  “Please tell me?” He held out his hand towards a bench off to the side of the path, nestled in between bushes of bright yellow buds.

  I took a seat. “You don't answer half of my questions, why should I answer yours?” I tried to put as much effort into those words as I could, but fell short of any conviction.

  “I will answer your questions, in time. For right now, I'm very curious about what keeps you guarded.”

  I thought about asking him another question but nipped that idea. We just discussed him not answering any of mine and it was starting to get hard to remember all of my questions. So I started talking while staring at a blue rock on the ground.

  “The first time I took interest in a boy I was shocked with how moving it was. But I kept my thoughts to myself because I heard the whispers of the townsfolk. I knew the horrible and painful things they said about me, because my mother had run away with another man and disappeared—which Tarn blamed me for. Somehow, our inn had become known as a whorehouse. People assumed my father was selling me. So it surprised me when that boy approached me and started talking to me like we'd been friends for our entire lives. No hint of hate or judgment. He was unbelievably nice to me.

  “That went on for several weeks. Then, he asked me to meet him somewhere just after dark. Tarn wouldn’t miss me. He would be relieved of my absence.” I wrapped my arms around my chest and clenched my fists to keep the ache that was growing inside me at bay.

  “The night I went to meet him, he was deep in the forest. I was scared because I knew what happens there. The sacrifices rumored to have been made, the souls that are said to haunt them. I knew something wasn’t right. Still, I continued, finding him purely by the glow of the camp fire. But he wasn't alone. Fear nearly claimed me when I turned back. Then someone stepped out from behind a tree and cupped his hand around my mouth to keep me from screaming. I tried to struggle, but he overpowered me, dragging me along.

  “When we made it to the fire, the boy I had taken an interest in reprimanded the other for treating me so rudely. I started to relax until he pulled on a red ceremonial cloak. Others wearing the same emerged from the woods, standing around us in a circle. Their faces shielded by their hoods.”

  I wiped a tear from my face. Marren shifted next to me. His posture had stiffened and when I glanced over, his hands were clenched. I thought that he didn't believe my story or for some reason he was extremely agitated over it. But, I’d already said too much to stop.

  “The rest of the night was pretty much a blur…” A painful, perfectly clear blur. “Danst was hunting nearby when he heard my screams over their chanting. Somehow he was able to break them up and save me. From that moment on, I was shunned. And the whispers only worsened.”

  Marren said, “Danst taught you how to fight after that.” It was more of a statement than a question.

  “Yes,” I said.

  “I'm so very sorry for what you went through.” He shifted, tucking his foot under his knee, and faced me. “I feel so horrible about that. If it were me, I would've killed those boys.” He practically growled the words.

  I couldn't help but smile in response to his reaction. “But then you wouldn't be here and able to rescue me from the Cyrs. Would you?”

  “Possibly,” he mused. “What I think may not be important to you, but you are far from ugly.”

  I laughed nervously. “You need to work on giving compliments.”

  “And you need to work on accepting them,” he retorted.

  I shifted in my seat to face him, caught in his eyes for a moment. I saw more each time I looked into them. This time there was sincerity. Nothing held back. “Thank you for your compliment, and everything you've done for me. Even though I still don't understand why.” I breathed the words effortlessly. They flowed out of me like a whisper on the wind.

  “You're welcome.” His stare grew in intensity, making the air around us heavier. Or was it lighter?

  I forced myself to look away to the garden and a few butterflies that danced along the tops of the bushes. The sun started its descent of the day, making the shadows stretch out before us. Had that much time passed already?

  “Now that you know why I'm so guarded, it's your turn,” I said.

  “You're right, your reasons were different. But, the feeling is the same nonetheless. It all comes down to trouble eventually finding me, and a reputation that seems to follow wherever I go.”

  “Would it help if I try to explain?”

  “It may...” The edge of his mouth curved up slightly.

  “People either want to be you or be with you. When you don't give them what they want—they become enraged and retaliate against you. The rumors start and before you know it, you're labeled a dissident seducer.”

  He nodded. “The logic makes sense, but I still don’t feel it applies.” The span of a few moments in silence passed before he asked, “Are you hungry?”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  I followed Marren into the dining hall. The large table that sat in the center with chairs surrounding it seemed too formal for just a dinner for two. Yet it didn't stop Marren from pulling out a chair at the corner for me. Flattered by his gesture, I took it. He took the chair at the head. Immediately a servant, with the same dark skin, hair, and eyes, walked in and set a few plates of a roasted meat, string beans, and a slice of bread on the table along with a thick cloth and silverware. Another brought in two silver goblets and filled them with red wine.

  “So tell me,” he said, digging into his plate. “How old
were you when your mother left?”

  A bit of a heavy topic over dinner…“It's been about ten years, so I was ten.” I stuck my fork into a bean and placed it in my mouth.

  He nodded. “I understand why you keep yourself guarded. I suppose it would be the same with me if it were in the reverse.”

  I looked at him, wondering why we were still talking about this topic and it came to my realization that he looked the same as he always did. For the entire time I'd known him, he hadn't aged. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Anything,” he said.

  I licked my lips, which felt as dry as sand. “How old are you?” He stopped cutting into his meat then shifted his gaze up to me. His hair fell along his shoulders. He sat with the stillness of a statue that belonged in the ball room. My heart did a nervous lurch. “I've known you for five years and in that time, you’ve never appeared any older.”

  He dropped his gaze, a grin stretching his lips, and resumed cutting. “You wouldn't believe me if I told you.”

  “Try me,” I replied in a rush. Almost too fast, letting on to the ball of fear that was forming in my stomach like an iron weight.

  “You should eat.”

  “That's it? Avoiding another question?”

  “I fully intend to answer your question. Just not right now. I would really love to pick back up where we left off in the garden.”

  “Okay.” It came out sounding like a question.

  “You were explaining the reason for my self-inflicted luck.”

  “Yes, I know.” I cleared my throat and took a sip of wine. It was tart and warm. “Did my explanation help?” I shoved a piece of meat into my mouth. It was sweet and tangy, not too spicy.

  “It doesn't explain why the one I would love to give everything to won't take it.” His gaze grew heavier, forcing me to quickly look away.

  The fear in the pit of my stomach formed a knot and for a moment I thought I was going to vomit. I had given up on anything that resembled a romantic relationship a long time ago and I was just thrown right into the midst of someone who wanted it. I was damaged and incomplete. Most of all, I was so unsure of myself. Before, I knew what I wanted and how to get it; and then, it seemed like all that was taken away without my knowledge. Leaving me alone, cold, and afraid.