Half way down the stairs, I started to feel faint. It's out of character for me to get this worked up over anything. I had to assume my body was under so much stress, going through the difficult process of changing, that it couldn't handle the added stress of meeting creatures that were thought to no longer be in existence. Of course, I suppose that would have been nerve wracking to begin with. I was also fighting off nausea from the last strike of cramps that happened just before leaving the room. I'd be lucky to make it out without retching, not to mention the possibility of losing my life.
“Are you okay?” Marren spoke under his breath.
I nodded. It was all I could do while clinging desperately to his arm and the railing on the way down the stairs. Besides, he knew my feelings because he could feel them as well.
“Don't worry, they will believe us. Remember, we have nothing to hide.” I nodded again, letting out a deep breath of air through pursed lips.
We reached the landing and turned towards the sealed doors of the ball room without as much as a slight cramp or slip of my feet. Two servants stood guard, dressed in white shirts with dark green long vests, black sashes with strands of silver woven throughout and tied around their waists, tan pants, and black boots. Their faces were shadowed by huge purple hats with white, gold and blue feathers bound to the brims. The sight made me falter slightly as my anxieties rose much higher.
“Marren, this seems like a much bigger ordeal than you led me to believe. This feels much more like a ceremony,” I said.
“Ceremonies frighten you?” he asked, feeling my nerves within his own. “It's only a formality. It doesn't change the meaning any. And it doesn't make it any more or less than it is. We just have to pass their first impressions. The bigger threat comes when we cross over.”
“Great,” I muttered. Was that supposed to make me feel better?
From the corner of my eye, Marren's head nodded once. The two servants on each side of the doors opened their end, stepping in to allow us through. He walked us to the middle of the room then turned us to face the line of Ancients sitting in a row of three chairs, centered on a dais. My heart nearly stilled to look upon the company that was watching me.
Marren's hand lifted, with mine on top, as he escorted me to stand in front of them with no more than a few breadths of space in between. Each one was terrifying to look at and, at the same time, captured me in awe with their beauty and magnificence. I wondered if it was a requirement of being an Ancient. Marren lowered our hands, letting them touch just slightly at the tips—giving me a direct line to his calming emotions. I closed my eyes, letting my body drink in as much as I could—and just as quickly, opened my eyes with a sigh.
“Welcome, Marren and Relena.” The woman spoke first. Her voice as soft as a flower, but I knew she would show her thorns if provoked. From my conversation with Enid, this was Joe'n, Ancient of the elves, gnomes, sprites, and fae. She sat in the center chair between the two other Ancients.
Her long hair was as white as snow and glittered in the light of the room. It was pulled back and bound by a golden circlet. Her eyes were as grey as the Peaks of Domar, but beautiful against high cheekbones and smooth creamy skin that held a faint bluish glow. Adorning her straight, pointed ears was a cuff in the shape of a golden maple leaf. It looked as though one of the tips was attached to the circlet.
Her lips were thin and pale, giving hints to her ferocity—the force of her power. Most of her clothing was hidden underneath a shimmering silver robe, with billowing bell sleeves. It looked as soft as rose petals. I could easily see Danst in her features. It made me wonder why I hadn't noticed the difference in him before.
“Thank you, Joe'n.” Marren bowed slightly at the waist. “I present to you Relena, my heart song.”
There was no mistaking the pride he held in his voice when he spoke of me. It forced a smile to my face and almost made me forget that I was supposed to bow as well. I did so, hoping my delay didn't offend her.
Joe'n stood from her seat, allowing the fall of soft white cloth to pour around her like milk. It was then I realized her robes were a part of her dress, joined under her breast by a golden clasp that looked like ivy twisted together and then stretched around her torso. The end of her robes curved up slightly, resting on the surface of the flowing white. Her movements were smooth and graceful as she glided towards me. She was taller than me, extremely slender and smelled of honeysuckle.
She brought her hands in front of herself. “Give me your hands, child.”
I slid my shaking hands into hers. Even her skin felt as smooth as silk. Everything about her spoke of a balance between grace and beauty, and terrifying and compelling. She closed her eyes and cocked her head to the side as if she was listening to something outside my ability to hear. Slowly, she opened her eyes and removed her hands from mine.
“Look into my eyes,” her voice softly commanded. I peered into the stone grey, getting swept into the raging sea. The rushing currents of grey swirled together in a maelstrom of chaos.
Have no fear, child. You have a pure heart and soul.
I felt astounded by the sound of her voice, soft as a whisper, inside my head as if it were a mother whispering to her child while she slept. I smiled and bowed again. She lowered her head towards me with a faint stretch in her lips, making her even more beautiful, and returned to her seat.
“Welcome, Marren and Relena.” The next one spoke. His voice was raspy and sounded as if there was a whisper beneath his words, like there was more than one voice speaking at once. From what I could recall, this was Blyl, the Serpentine Ancient. He kept his head hidden under the hood of his light brown robes. They were sleeveless, making me grateful for his hidden identity. The serpentine’s arms looked human, but were green and scaled from the wrist up and thick with muscle. I couldn't help but wonder if his features were just as horrifying.
“Thank you, Blyl,” Marren said and bowed at the waist again. “I present to you Relena, my heart song.” Again I smiled as the level of adoration was clear in his voice. This time, I bowed while smiling.
He removed himself from his chair, bringing my previous assumption to rest in a horrifying way. Instead of legs, he had a tail—like a snake. He slithered, swaying left to right, and stood just in front of me, no taller than Marren. His eyes caught the light of the room from beyond his hood. Shining like bright golden-green orbs with a diamond shaped pupil, he watched me closely. I forced back the shudder from the chill that crept up my spine and tickled my nape. He moved his hood back just enough for me to get a glimpse of his human-like face. Green scales for skin with all the shapes that resemble human and raised bumps over his eyes in place of eyebrows.
“Let me see your hands,” he spoke.
I obliged and sucked in a breath of shock. The contrast between Joe'n's skin and his was great. His were incredibly cold. He flipped my palms up and studied them closely, then removed his hands from mine and said, “Look into my eyes.”
As difficult as it was, which was so uncomfortable it felt like my skin was crawling away from me, I did. I felt his intrusion into my head, poking around and reaching into the deepest darkest recesses of my mind, opening and closing doors. He seemed desperate to find something and yet became agitated as he went on not finding it. A small panic set my heart to race faster. I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe there was something that we had forgotten to go over or if there was something that was supposed to be there and wasn't. Finally, he blinked, ending the trance on me.
“Very well,” he said.
I bowed again, feeling uneasy on wobbling legs, and I had one more Ancient left to pass. Blyl bowed his head towards me, replaced his hood, and returned to his seat.
“Welcome, Marren and Relena.” The final one spoke. His tone set me immediately on edge. It came off as cocky, unnecessarily loud, and crude. This was the Ancient Marren warned me about the most.
“Thank you, Jiren.” Marren bowed. “I present to you Relena, my heart song.” There was a
tone in his voice that very well could've been all in my head. It lied hidden beneath the same level of pride he spoken with the first two times. It seemed threatening, like a challenge.
I bowed respectfully and waited for him to approach. There was nothing noteworthy or spectacular about the appearance of Jiren. He looked as a normal human man, cloaked in robes with only his face seen. It was round, but not plump. His reddish blond brows loomed over bright green eyes and were arched with a sort of superiority that made him seem as though he held himself above everyone in the room. His lips were uneven in the way that what should look like stout peaks above the bottom lip were two mere hills resting on top of a thick mound of flesh. His jaw was set firmly and jutted towards me. I hardened my resolve as a blaze lit inside my gut. He may hold my life in his hands and the decision to allow me onto the immortal realm, but that in no way made him better than me.
“Give me your hands,” he commanded in a sharp tone. I handed them to him, not breaking from his stare. His hands tingled and buzzed with energy, like tiny prickles of vibrations. The feeling grew in intensity and moved up my arm, becoming more uncomfortable the further up it climbed. I saw the corner of his lip curl up and I yanked my hands free from his grasp. His green eyes turned cold and darkened.
“Stick with the ritual Jiren,” Joe'n hissed.
He looked over his shoulder, his smirk full of disgust, then returned his attention to me. “Look into my eyes,” he spoke bitterly. Seeing as how I never took my eyes off his, it seemed rather redundant to say such a thing. He broke away from my gaze much quicker than I thought the others did. I bowed again. He didn't so much as acknowledge it, instead returned to his seat with an exasperated sigh.
“So, she's passed? Is she allowed to cross over?”
“Don't get ahead of yourself, Marren,” Jiren announced. “I have a few necessary things I want to know before we give our decision.”
“Very well, ask,” Marren responded, again with that same hidden tone.
“You know the laws. I'm not convinced that this girl is who she says she is.”
“I say she is. Not the other way around and I refuse to discuss that matter further with you. I've said all I've had to say.”
“But has Relena?” Jiren asked.
“What is it you wish to know?” I asked.
“What makes you think you are suited for him?”
“I don't believe that heart songs work like that, but I don't think I'm suited for him,” I paused to observe the air of pride and cunning stretch Jiren's lips, “I know I am.”
His smile faded. “What makes you think you are his heart song?”
“What makes you think I'm not?” I asked evenly.
“You tread deep waters, I would watch my tongue if I were you,” he retorted.
“Well it's a damn good thing I'm not you,” I countered.
He approached me quickly, stopping just in front of me. Joe'n and Blyl stood up from their chairs and even Marren let out a warning growl that frightened me. I didn't even know he could do that.
Jiren glared into my eyes and said, “You can fool the others, but you cannot fool me!”
“I would have to be hiding something in order to be trying to fool anyone,” I said.
His eyes glinted light from within, a hungry and evil smirk stretching his lips. His gaze shifted to Marren. Calmly he stated, “Very well, she may join you. But be warned, she will have to face the other Ancients and she will have to pass the test.” He returned to his seat.
“Fine. When she passes, you know what will happen,” Marren warned and bowed to the Ancients once more.
“It was very lovely to meet you,” I said and bowed as well. Marren and I turned on our heels, walking out in the same way we entered.
10
The Change
I sat on the floor in front of the fire place and watched the flames lick the walls of its surround. I soaked up the heat, feeling it seep into me and soothe the aching that still remained from the intense workout the night before. I was trying to relax myself to better prepare for the upcoming change that I felt was closer than before. Sunset was upon us. From there, it was undetermined as to when I'd change. The cramps happening during the daytime were a shock to Marren. We decided it was due to me being changed by him, being his heart song, and being bitten during the blue moon.
I felt something fall onto my shoulder, jarring me from my relaxed state. I knocked it off before the sound of a painful groan came to me. I turned to see Marren picking himself up off of the floor in front of the door that was now cracked and half off its hinges.
“Oh no, Marren! Are you—how did I do that?” I was caught off guard as soon as the realization hit that I was responsible.
“The change has been making its way through your body before you actually turn. Apparently, your strength has already evolved.” He stood up, stretched his shoulders and neck then took a fighting stance.
“Seriously, you want to spar? Now?” His lips pulled taut, revealing his bright white teeth, the thrill of his intentions gleaming in his eyes. “Marren,” I tried to plea, but to no avail. He lunged at me. I jumped out of the way before he could reach me, sending him sliding into the fireplace, chipping a piece of the marble off.
He picked himself up. “Come on Relena, don't you want to play?”
“Any other day maybe, but I'm in pain, I'm scared, and the last thing on my mind is trying to break every bone in my body before I change.”
“You won't break anything.” He ran at me, this time much faster, tackling me to the ground. I felt a crack and a sharp pain in my ribs that quickly subsided and I hit my head hard against the floor. It felt like it was wet from blood though I barely felt a thing. I kicked him off of me and tried rolling to my side to get up. He quickly overpowered me, pinning my legs in between his and my arms above my shoulders. “See?”
I panted heavily, trying to push the wave of desire back, not wanting to change in middle of that especially. I tried to struggle from under him. He held me firmly in place, chuckling under his breath at my feeble attempts to break free. There was a light in his onyx eyes that I didn’t see before. His smile faded as his gaze softened and he gently touched his lips to mine. Slowly his kiss deepened, becoming harder, more feverish. He released my hands, sliding his down the length of my arms and sides to my waist. In one thrilling swoop, he lifted me to my feet.
“Something has you in a light mood tonight,” I said.
“I'm simply experiencing the euphoric effect you have on me.”
“I hate you,” I teased.
“Why?” It came out in his chuckle.
“Because, you have a beautiful world, a beautiful language, such amazingly beautiful things to say to me, and that makes me feel inadequate. I don't have a beautiful world to give you or a beautiful language and my words are plain compared to yours.”
“Relena, you have given more than you could ever possibly understand. You don't need fancy words, a different language, or a different world to feel adequate for me. Because, I'm the one that should feel that way. I'm the inadequate one. I say those things not only because I mean them but because anything less would not be worthy of you. What you have given me—it's beyond what words can say. It is the rarest beauty, the most sacred gift of all...You have given me yourself.”
As he spoke, his words touched me. My heart fluttered weightlessly within my chest. I focused through the tears that filled my eyes as I reached up and gently touched his lips with my fingertips. I slid my hand along his face to the back of his head, closing the space between us. Before my lips connected to his, I whispered, “I love you.”
He squeezed me tightly, bringing my lips to his. Our feelings, for the first time, were aligned. And with the way it felt, I was sure that there was a light shining between us, like a tiny sun, that filled the room and flowed down the hall, over the balcony, and into the world. Spreading the light of our love.
But the dark side of our love shadowed our moment in th
e form of a painful cramp that felt like a dozen blades slicing across my torso and spreading throughout my body. My skin felt like it was being peeled off. I couldn’t move. It hurt too much. I was forced under the weight of the pain and held there as the change ripped through me.
When it felt as though my skin was gone, the sensation of having acid poured on me took over. The fire coursed through my veins relentlessly until there was nothing left but ash and bone. Even then the pain didn’t stop as every section of bone felt shattered by boulders. Once I had no more to be consumed, the pain ripped through me again, starting over from the beginning. Only then peeling muscle and skin, taking the layers one at a time and as slowly as possible, so that pain turned bittersweet.
I knew Marren said I wouldn’t die, but I certainly wished for it. The pain was incomparable to anything that I had ever experienced before. I only wanted it to end, to never feel pain again. Yet, it kept coming. I endured the continuous sensation of being literally consumed, piece by piece, for what felt like hours. Then I felt a break, an ease in the intensity. Until slowly, the pain ebbed, leaving me afraid to move with a heart that pounded furiously.
I felt Marren's hands smooth over my body. I became aware of my surroundings. Instead of standing, I was lying down with my eyes closed. Instead of lying on a hard floor, I was in bed.
You aren't dead waya, you survived, Marren’s voice entered my mind.
You can hear my thoughts?
Yes, I can. I didn't know I could until you thought you were dead.
Huh. Can everyone hear my thoughts now?
I doubt it. I can't hear Enid's nor can he hear mine.
But I could hear Joe'n speaking to me.
She spoke to you? He sounded surprised, even in my head.
Heart Song Page 10
