In my mind, yes.
What did she say?
She told me to not fear. That I had a pure heart and soul.
She can speak to you, but you cannot speak to her. It is something that she does to help ease those who are in pain, worried, sick, or to convey a private message to someone. I doubt it works all the time. You'd have to be open to it.
There is still so much I don’t know and I fear I will never fully understand your world.
You will, someday.
We laid in silence, curled into each other. I thought about Marren, and the way we share our feelings when we touch. He probably experienced the same thing. Are you okay?
Yes, why?
Because you can feel what I feel.
It’s more emotional pain that I feel rather than physical. I'm more concerned with you and how you are holding up.
Let's just say, I'm not looking forward to the change anymore.
I felt his body shake slightly. I tensed, afraid of pain. I warned you it would be painful.
Yes, but you didn't tell me it would feel the way it did.
I didn't know. It's been many years since I first changed and the pain is just a faded memory to me. I can't really remember much of it.
You weren't born—
Like this? No. I was born looking like a normal human child until I reached the first blue moon of my adolescence. There was a ceremony held for me to celebrate my coming into manhood, it was a big deal to my family. Then, as the years went by, there was less and less pain. I honestly don't remember it being anything like what you went through. I'm so sorry. I felt his arms tighten around me. It felt...the same. I didn't know what I was expecting exactly, but I thought it would feel different somehow. I smiled to myself, grateful for one less thing to have changed.
Relena, open your eyes.
I did—slowly. The light of the moon shocked me completely. It was bright and I could see everything as if it were day. I sat up slowly and started to walk to the balcony. How long was I going through the change?
Several hours. I'm very impressed though. You hardly made a peep. Just a few moans of anguish and that was it. With the amount of pain you were in, it would be nothing less than understandable to cry out.
I felt like I was screaming at the top of my lungs at some parts.
It's not a pleasant experience. But, look at it this way—your next time will be quicker and less painful. Not by much, but still...the degree will be less each time.
I turned to face Marren. He was standing right behind me and even then, he was terrifyingly beautiful. “How do I look?”
“Like waya uwoduhi,” he purred his words while removing a strand of hair from my face and tucking it behind my ear.
“What does that mean? You've said it before but you never told me what it means.”
“Beautiful wolf.”
I smiled, feeling a new sharpness in my teeth against my lips. I touched my lips and pulled them back to see them tinged with blood.
“That's not the only change that you will experience.” He jumped up on the edge of the balcony then twisted to face me. “Let me show you the proper way to jump from the balcony.” He dropped down silently and without a thud. I looked over the edge to see him gazing up at me. Come on, his words whispered in my head.
I jumped up, landing in a kneeling position on the railing. On my inhale, I leapt off the edge, making a slight thump when I landed on the ground and exhaled. I knelt to the ground and found I could see and pick out each individual blade of grass, weed, and stone that jutted up from the ground. I saw each leaf on the bushes in the garden and on the trees. Everything had a faint aura.
“Amazing!”
“Yes you are. Come, run with me.” He held his hand to me. I smiled as I slipped mine into his.
I smelled everything as I did the other day, not as a blend of scents but as each individual one. The trees didn't blur by me, instead each remained crystal clear until we passed them. Every branch, limb, leaf, and blade of grass...everything was clear in my focus.
Just up ahead I could see a break in the trees and a ledge. The smell of water hit my nose before the roaring sound of the nearby waterfall hit my ears. I stopped just before the ledge to look over and judged the distance. It would be suicide. Then Marren ran past me, flying into the air with his arms out from his sides and legs together. His body tilted down, rapidly flying into the water.
“Marren!”
It's okay. Jump.
How did it not kill you?
We can't die that easily. Our bodies heal extremely fast. If you were human, the slam into the water alone would kill you. But, hit the angle right, and you won't feel a thing at all.
If not?
It'll sting but not for long.
I walked back a few paces, then kicked the dirt behind me, running at full speed into the air. I tried to follow Marren's lead and form. I brought my hands to the water, feeling and hearing the rush as it surrounded my body with just a slight sting to my skin. When I surfaced above water, I saw Marren disappear behind a few trees. I ran after him, following the silhouette of his body until he froze in place.
Stop running! Marren shouted in my head.
Why? What's wrong?
Hunters. If they see us, they'll have entire kingdoms swarming this place, killing everything in sight until they find us, and then do the same.
I walked slowly, the heavy scent of steel and sweat, mixed with pipe smoke filled my nose. Reaching Marren's side, I took his hand as he led us silently away from the hunters.
How does your fear of their reaction towards us affect the prophecy that Enid told me about? I asked.
We have to do it slowly; we can't just rush in on them unannounced. It would create too much chaos and turmoil, effectively doing more harm than good. We have to slowly re-introduce ourselves and re-educate the humans of our ways.
You really don't like the Denai, do you?
Jiren? No. But not for reasons you're thinking of. There's more in our history that is full of foul blood.
We changed directions, heading towards some cliffs to a cave. It was nestled in thick trees, well hidden from sight. He turned to me, holding my face in his hands. “We have to stay here for the night and wait for the hunters to move on. We'll head back in the morning.”
I nodded.
His lips pressed against mine, taking in the feel and the taste of our kiss. I kissed him harder, tasting blood. He didn't seem to mind.
Jump up, his words filled my head. He caught my legs in midair, pulling them around his waist and pressing my back against the hard wall.
Are you not worried about the hunters coming in here?
Huh-uh.
Why?
Because there are stories that surround this cave that frighten them. So they stay as far away as possible.
His kiss deepened, filling me with a rush that bubbled and boiled within me. He pulled away from me before I gave into him. “What's the matter?”
“Waiting to hear Enid's call for the clear.”
“Why?”
“Because the other Ancients could renege and come after us.”
“Why would they do something like that? I thought we satisfied their requests.”
“Some of them have been plotting to get rid of me for quite some time. I'm too much of a threat to them. And if I pull off the prophecy, they will be rendered virtually powerless over the people they govern, losing what control they've gained over the years.”
“I thought that crossing back into the mortal realm was what everyone wanted? And why would you be considered a threat? You seem pretty compliant to follow the laws about as equally as them.”
“Not everyone wants to cross. There are some that fear a repeated war with more lives lost. And, there are some that feel they are above humans. I'm a threat because I was chosen to be the leader for the other races I govern, whereas the others were appointed by the Ancients they succeeded.”
“How did the other A
ncients die? I thought it was nearly impossible to kill you?”
I watched his face grow darker and felt my own heart weep at his sadness. “I lost my family during the cross over. The wars were horrific. Humans did everything they could to provoke the races just so they could get rid of us. My mother and my grandmother died. I lost my father long before I can remember. I never really knew him.”
“I'm sorry. That's horrible.”
He hugged me closer. “I have you now, so it's okay.”
“What are we going to do if the Ancients do fall back on their word?”
“Tonight, anything we can. After crossing over, we have to convince enough of them to our side and then defeat the others.”
“Can you do that?”
“We can, yes. But I hope it doesn't come down to that.”
“Me too, by the sounds of it. But if it does, how are we going to defeat the other Ancients?”
“By proving you're my heart song.”
“Didn't we just do that?” I asked as my heart leapt higher.
“Don't be fooled. Jiren will see to it that the races are convinced we’re using some sort of trickery. You only passed their initial assessment to be allowed into the immortal realm. From there, a test will be devised to stretch the limits of our bond. They'll try to break it. When they discover that what we've said is truth, then all will be well.”
“I thought the prophecy said that you could rejoin the realms?”
“I can, with you. But, it's not enough. I have to have the races and the other Ancients behind me or it could cause a war that would tear apart both worlds.”
“How do you suppose we take down a hand full of Ancients?” I asked watching him walk to the center of the cave and sit down.
“They aren't as powerful as you think.” Come sit with me.
I took a seat in front of him then slid my legs around his waist, and closed the space between us. He hugged me tightly to him, just as a howl broke through the night. Enid gave the all clear.
Now where were we? Marren asked, pressing his lips to mine.
11
A Warm Reunion With Cold Tension
We made our way back, taking our time, trying to enjoy the time alone. Marren was unusually silent, except for the occasional whispered thought. I felt something in him, something off and heavy on his shoulders. I desperately searched for ways to lighten his mood, but always fell short of keeping a smile on his face.
When we got home, he remained cold and distant. It wasn't until later that evening that I heard Marren speaking in his native language. His words were harsh as they filtered into my room where I was dressing into my robes. The level of anger within his words frightened me. I strapped on my sword and quickly walked down the hall to see who he was yelling at.
Marren stood on the stairs in front of about fifteen servants gathered in the corridor. There was one servant that stood in front of the rest, closer to Marren. The same woman that had served me since my arrival. She had her head bowed with her hands folded in front of her as she faced the other servants. Everyone stood completely still, too afraid to move.
I slipped behind Marren, taking a seat on the stairs. Enid stood with his hands in front of him at the end of the railing. He turned his attention towards me on my approach for a quick nod and returned his gaze back to the servants.
The difference in Marren and the way he spoke set me on edge. The enchanting buzz that normally filled my head when he spoke was barely noticeable. Whatever the servants did wrong to deserve this lecture, I really doubted they‘d do it again.
Marren shouted one final command and gestured with his hand a dismissal. Each and every servant dispersed and quickly moved on to their necessary duties. Fear of further retaliation written clearly on their faces. Only one servant remained standing—the woman.
Sitting that close, I could see the cloth of her fabric trembling. I could only wonder what she had done. She seemed so nice and polite to me, I couldn’t imagine her doing something so terrible that it affected Marren so deeply.
Marren looked over his shoulder and gave me a wink. Instantly my lips pulled into a smile. It helped me to feel better about his mood. His simple gesture made me giddy. He approached the woman, speaking more calmly to her, though his words still came out sharp and quick. She nodded a few times and kept saying something over and over in her native language. I imagined it was an apology. Then she dared a look towards me, something which promptly got her smacked. She fell to the ground, sobbing, with her hand covering her cheek.
“Marren!” I stood up and walked to her side.
“Relena, you don't know what she's done. If you did, you wouldn't be so quick to protect her.”
“I don't care what she's done. She doesn't deserve to be treated like this.”
Marren's eyes turned cold and fierce. I'm trying to protect you.
I helped the woman to her feet. She trembled and refused to look me in the eyes. Then do it honorably. Banish her, don't beat her. You are a man, not a boy. Do the right thing.
My gaze shifted to Marren. His nostrils flared and his chest exaggerated each breath. His hands, clenched into tight firsts, were stiff at his sides. For a moment I feared he was going to strike me. His breath caught and his eyes grew wide with alarm. He relaxed his hands and lowered his gaze to the floor. I realized then I had actually spoken my fear to him.
It took several moments of him taking calm, deep breaths before he said something in his language. The woman ran away from the room sobbing loudly. I watched her disappear through the dining hall doors.
“You have a lot to learn about my world,” Marren said, pulling my attention back to him.
“Maybe I do. It doesn’t change my stand. That woman didn't deserve to get hit for looking at me. You should exercise mercy where others exercise fear.”
“She—”
“I don't care what she did! She didn't deserve it!” My voice echoed loudly through the walls.
“Fine,” he muttered then stomped up the stairs without a look back, sealing himself behind the doors to his study.
I stared at them, waiting for him to open them. He never did.
“A'lainn, there is something I want you to do,” Enid said.
“Anything, Athair.” I smiled.
“Take a walk with me. There is someone I want you to meet.”
I raised an eyebrow as my smile widened and followed him to the door. Before we walked through, my eyes fell to the wolf on the floor. Sad eyes met mine, and they held the light of a fire behind the sadness. I couldn't keep my heart from sinking slightly.
I love you, Marren. I whispered in my mind as we walked out the door.
The winds blew strongly around us, whipping our clothes around our bodies in tugs and pulls. The sun played peek-a-boo with the earth each time it hid behind thick puffy clouds. As it broke free, its warmth would pour down then fade away as another cloud moved over. In the distance, a storm brewed, lighting up the sky with the bright flashes of purple and blue. The clouds were at their darkest just along the horizon, beyond the line of trees and the long dirt road that lead me there. Enid kept his arms around his chest and walked with his head bowed, taking steady steps. The fold of his elbow held the hilt of his sword to his body.
We walked towards the stable made of marble walls and a thatch roof. Branches tied together formed the doors. It looked as though there was a chimney that poked out from the top, made from grey round stones and meant to keep Marren’s horses warm.
A pang of guilt struck me hard in the gut. I had upset Marren and accused him of being merciless when I was unable to see that he was doing what he thought was right in order to protect me. I still didn’t agree that she deserved to be hit for it. That was harsh. But, I was wrong to have interfered.
“You are very quiet today,” Enid's voice took over the break in the wind.
“Do you think I was wrong to jump in like that?” I asked.
He exhaled a heavy breath. “What I think is,
both of you have a lot to learn about the other. Both of you thought you were doing what was right. He was trying to do his duty to protect you, which sometimes entails not showing as much mercy as you think he should. While you were doing what you thought was right, which was saving Farrah from unnecessary punishment.”
“That was Farrah?” It came out disbelieving.
“Yes. Now you understand?”
“Not really.”
The crunch of the gravel filled my mind in an even rhythm along with Enid’s words and echoed like a chant. The more it played, the more I understood I had reacted hastily. I jumped into the middle of something I didn't understand. Inside a world I could see but didn't know enough to grasp the customs. My heart lunged in my chest, adding to the guilt.
A faint whisper, carried on the wind, “Turn around,” it said.
I turned, removing the hair that had blown into my face from my vision. Marren was walking towards us. His arms swayed with his steps. I smiled as he approached, slowly making my heart pound a beat faster with every step he took. His lips curved slightly and his eyes took in all of me, taking my breath away.
“You didn't think that you could leave me after saying something like that, did you?” His voice hinted at playfulness.
“You heard me?” I was surprised.
“I did.” He wrapped his arms around me and held me to him. I didn’t miss the sun anymore.
“I wasn't sure if it would work in my human form, considering the distance.”
He pressed his lips to mine. I took the chance to deeply take in his sweet kiss. I can always hear you. I'm sorry.
Me too.
Enid cleared his throat. “I don't mean to intrude on this private, tender moment, but there is the matter of the stables to take care of…” As an afterthought he added, “Which, you’ve charged me with doing, Marren.”
“That's right.” He smiled. “I will take my leave.” His eyes dropped to me with a glimmer of bright light, Gvgeyu.
You are going to have to teach me your language. I sighed, watching him walk away from me. It never ceased to amaze me, the affect Marren had on me. Impossibly changing the darkest, most stormy skies into ones painted bright blue and filled with the light of the brightest and warmest sun. Enid held his bent arm for me. I slipped my hand through and continued walking with him.
Heart Song Page 11
