Heart Song

by Samantha LaFantasie

  I nodded once more and started changing into traveling clothes. I had told Enid about our private way of speaking, using it to hold weight on my needing to help find him. He wasn't at all surprised, telling me that he would see Marren and I get silent but would act like we were still somehow communicating. He had heard of it happening in a few stories regarding heart songs, but he had yet to actually observe it. Of course, I was shot down immediately. But, he did promise to return if he got anything solid to follow. It seemed I would have company after all.

  ***

  Make that a small army.

  I stepped out the doors of the mountain and found a small group of werewolves, a few centaurs, and Ildir waiting for me along with Danst and Enid. I looked at Enid quizzically and stepped even slower out into the open.

  “I'm sorry, A'lainn, I had no choice. They simply wouldn't let you come along,” Enid said.

  “Aye, that is true. But that is some rare gift ye and Marren share. It's one more notch in our belief in ye and one less in Jiren, which can't bode well for him.” Ildir spoke with his hands resting limply over the blade of his axe. It looked like it had to weigh nearly the amount he did, but he gripped its handle and laid it over his shoulder as if it were nothing more than a feather—a mere extension of himself.

  “It's okay. I understand that you are just as desperate to find him as I am,” I said to Enid and then turned to Ildir, “I'm glad you are still on my side. It will make Marren very happy to know you continued to stand by me when he wasn't around.”

  “Well, all this talk is doing us nothing good in the way of finding him,” a woman's voice spoke. It sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. I peeked around the group to find a woman, tall, lean and dark skinned. Some of her features remind me of Danst, but I didn't need that comparison to know that she was elven. The most fascinating feature was her eyes. Crystal blue, like shards of ice when the light touched them and dark gray like storm clouds when the shadow graced them. Her hair looked like it was streaked with different colors, yet all dark brown.

  “It must be the setting sun,” I told myself, low enough only I could hear. “You're right,” I said to the woman. “This isn't going to find Marren any sooner. I would suggest keeping the pleasantries while on foot.”

  20

  What Is Lost Can Be Found

  The last light of the day had finally faded into the night sometime after we left the mountain village. We moved past the mountains further north, deep into the heart of a forest that nestled against the foot of the sinking peaks of the earth. It seemed that the night insisted on carrying on forever, making the trek seem to last for days, despite our speed. I kept thinking that eventually, the light of day would start to brighten the sky above us, which was riddled in an ink so thick that not even the stars were visible. Instead, the night remained.

  The night seemed to grow darker and darker, making the shadows blend into one another, despite my being able to see the auras of the living things around us. They had gotten dimmer, like their life was being slowly zapped away into nothingness and eventually, they disappeared altogether. I had to stop.

  “What is it?” Danst asked.

  “I can't see a thing.”

  “What she means is there are no auras, no life.” Enid's voice came from right behind me. He sounded strained, like he too felt unnerved by the sudden and complete blackness that swallowed every ounce of light that belonged to the auras. Even the moon's light didn't touch this dark place. My heart pounded within my chest, urging me cautiously forward.

  “This is the forest of the dead,” Faun, the dark skinned and crystal blue eyed elf spoke. “We shouldn't remain still. We must push on.”

  “My lady,” one of the other werewolves spoke, “It's too dangerous.”

  “But we have to find Marren,” I said and stretched out my hands, taking careful steps forward. “Form a line behind me and step only where I step.”

  Relena...

  I stopped in mid-step as my heart nearly leapt from my chest.

  A chorus of voices sounded in my ears. “My lady...A'lainn, Relena...”all asking the reason for my sudden stop.

  “Shh.” I held up my hand to halt further interruptions. I held my breath and waited for the beating of my heart to calm down enough so the pounding didn't make any sound in my ears.

  Relena, go back...

  My heart leapt happily. A voice that made my heart soar. Marren?

  Go back...please!

  Go back? How could I go back now? I heard his voice, my heart’s reaction confirmed it. I couldn't turn back. Not now. Not when I was so close to finding him again. No. I couldn't. I started to walk again, faster this time and less careful. My pace quickened as I let my heart control where I was going. Faster and faster until I was sure that I was going to find him at any moment. With each step, I told myself it would be the next one. I would see him then. Behind a tree, lying at its base, trying to regain strength from his own escape.

  I found nothing but a seemingly endless forest, lacking life and hope, and a chill that was colder than death nipping at my skin. I felt my heart fall. I had hoped that I would find him. Hoped that he would be alive and well so we could go back to the village and show the races Marren was okay, and that Jiren had only wanted to destroy all hope.

  Yet, I felt like he was near. So close that I only needed to reach out to him and touch him. I forced the breaking of my heart to stop long enough for me to try one more thing.

  Marren?

  Silence.

  Marren, please answer me! Please!

  I tried to listen for his voice to return to me. I held my breath and forced my heart to stand still as the wind blew whispers through the trees above and around us. I knew the group stood behind me and watched me, waiting for some sign for me to give them as a direction of where to go. I couldn't move any further. I couldn't bear the weight of my own body. My knees gave out from under me sending me to the ground, landing hard on a tree branch. The pain surged up my leg. It created a rage in me that I couldn't control. I started banging my fists on the ground and I pulled up bushes and grass and punched the tree that was in front of me.

  The tree gave way with a hollow crack, distilling my anger and replacing it with curiosity. I reached out and touched the tree. It gave under the gentle pressure of my touch. I pulled away the bark and found that not only was the tree dead and hollow, but something laid inside.

  It was a body, faintly covered in a thin pale blue-green aura. I pulled him out, and laid him gently on the ground. We'd found Marren but he was barely alive.

  Faun was right next to me. “We need to get him to my people. He's weak and will need our healing to keep him, and you, alive.” I started at the sound of her voice. Shocked by how silent she was, though the look of her was even more shocking, her aura was yellow and dim. “Relena, we don't have time to waste.”

  I nodded and said. “Can you ask one of the centaurs if he can ride on their back?”

  “Right away.”

  I looked down at the outline of Marren's shape. How his aura faltered slightly then stilled. I gripped his hand into mine and told myself he would make it through. I would marry him, per his race's traditions and I would obey his every word just to see him live beyond the night. I heard the stomping of hooves approach and the lighter steps of feet. Two werewolves hoisted Marren's body onto one of the centaurs, draping him over his back so that Marren's head and arms were on one side and his legs on the other.

  I stood weakly, feeling like I was running out of energy and desperately in need of a nap. But, somehow I managed to force myself to walk next to Marren as we turned around and started to make our way back out of the forest of the dead.

  “You don't look like you're doing well,” Danst said. The concern was thick in his voice.

  We had made it back into the part of the woods where the auras were thick and bright. The air was cleaner and warmer, but I couldn't help but feel like we were missing something. I kept feeling like we
were being followed closely or that we were walking into a trap.

  “I think I'm just tired.” I knew it was more than that and I was sure Danst had sensed it as well. But, he didn't seem inclined to argue, which suited me fine, as I didn't have the strength to keep an eye on the forest behind us, remain close enough to Marren in case he woke up, and argue about how I was doing with Danst.

  “You will be able to get plenty of rest when you reach the elven territory.”

  I smiled at the way he spoke about the land I felt sure he was from. That proud honor and icy calm that all elves, half-blood or not, seemed to possess. “What's it like?”

  “I don't know.”

  I felt completely shocked by this. “You—you have never been there?”

  “Never. I was never allowed to. I could view it from a distance, but I could never actually go inside the village.”

  “Why?”

  “Because of what I am and what I did. More of the latter than the former.”

  “Well, obviously, your race or heritage has little to do with it if they are willing to accept us now.”

  “You misunderstood, Lady Relena,” Faun spoke as she continued to walk in front of us. She never turned to speak to us directly.

  “Oh, how so?”

  “Only Marren is invited into the village. He is an Ancient and as such, it is our responsibility to do our best to revive him.”

  “You'll have to forgive me, but you aren't taking him anywhere without me.”

  “You will be able to camp outside our boundaries. That is the most that we can offer you.”

  Something inside me started to burn. “Look, I don't care who you think you are, you—”

  Faun stopped and turned so abruptly that she was a blur, then stilled with an icy glare. “I mean you no disrespect, Lady Relena, but you must remain outside our land. Our rituals and customs are sacred and though you are Marren's heart song, the circumstances regarding your union are still hazy at best. We will be able to do our best without any distractions.”

  Something was wrong. I felt it inside me stronger than I’d ever felt anything. Her words started to fade. Her image took on a fuzzy quality. I felt faint and numb. “No-” It barely came out in a whisper, echoed in the air to my ears and far more distant than words from my own mouth should sound. The world tilted and all light removed itself from my sight.

  ***

  I opened my eyes to a strange room, lit by four oil lamps. The smell of the oil assaulted my nose, making my stomach churn. Beyond that was the smell of oak, pine and another nutty smell that I couldn't place. There were no decorations on the walls, only the print of wood grain sanded smooth. It was quiet. Too quiet. I sat up from the bed that seemed carved from the very wood the room was and yet it felt soft. Or I was too confused by my new surroundings to take every sense in correctly.

  The thought came crashing to me. I was in the elves home. Something must have happened when I fainted. Marren!

  His aura was really dim when I found him. It must have been something to do with that. I stood, turning in circles to find the door to the room. Just as I took a step towards the wall to feel my way, it opened, revealing Faun. She looked just as angry and rigid as usual. Only this time, she held ice in her eyes.

  “You are not to see this place,” she said, heavily pronouncing every word.

  “Then why did you bring me here?” I snapped back.

  “Because, we nearly lost...” Her eyes fell to the ground just as fast as my heart sank.

  “But that can't be,” tears stung my eyes, blurring the room and everything in it.

  “I didn't say we did. Just nearly. When you fainted, we knew then what Marren believed was true. But you are still a stranger to us and have yet to earn the trust of my people.” She walked up to me with a cloth in her hand. I stepped back and looked at her with as much warning as I could muster. “I'm sorry, I need to put this on you. You cannot see my home. It is forbidden.”

  “Lousy traditions,” I muttered under my breath and gave a nod to let her know that I was okay with it, however reluctant I may have been to leave. “What about Marren, is he awake? Can I see him?”

  “He has not awakened. The forest of the dead is named such because, as you have witnessed, it sucks the life out of every living thing in it. It survives on the essence of life.” She placed the blindfold over my eyes and tied it taut. “As such, it nearly drained all of Marren's life from him. It will take some time, but he will recover. Meanwhile you will be allowed to stay a few days, until you regain your strength. Then, you must return to your own land.” She pushed gently on my back, leading me out the door.

  Once out, we continued walking, feeling like we were on a downward sloping hill. “You know as well as I do, I can't do that.”

  “You will have no choice.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you are not bound to him in my people's eyes. You are only his heart song and even though that means everything to you—to us it means nothing.”

  I felt like growling, but held it in. I didn't want to give off the wrong impression and I also didn't want to lose the energy I had left. “You don't understand. I won't be able to leave him. I can walk in a thousand directions and I will still end up here.”

  “Then you will have to keep walking.”

  I bit my tongue. Hard. There was no way I was going to win this argument. I needed someone who knew the elves, as well as their customs. I needed a way to earn their trust and gain permission to stay, even if it meant staying outside of their boundaries.

  Once outside, Faun removed the blindfold and let my eyes adjust to the bright sun. The breeze was warm, something I was grateful for. My skin was still trying to fend off the chill from that dead forest.

  I expected to see the rest of the group. Instead what I saw was a small tent with a fire pit on the border of the Elvish Plains and the trees that hid their home away. In the midst of the plains, tall grass grew yellow and green. It shifted in the breeze, dancing along in waves as far as the eye could see and rustling its song. Mountains were visible again. I turned to see if I could see my home and see the lights within the windows, but nothing was visible that far away. Hills and trees filled the horizon. Clusters of a few dozen trees spotted the plains. For the most part, everything seemed peaceful, calm and clear. Not how I thought it should be.

  Something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. It was dark, and seemed caught on a low branch near a cluster of trees. I was sure it wasn't there just moments before when I first looked. My curiosity piqued, I moved towards the cloth. I walked slowly, letting my eyes wander the width of the plain, searching for anyone it belonged to. As I got closer, I noticed it wasn't just a cloth, but a cloak. It hung on a branch as if it blew in the wind and caught at the right spot on the hood. I yanked it free from the tree, the cloth tearing soundly. It was a man's cloak. It must have blown off some time ago and got carried along the wind until it snagged a branch.

  I felt a weight on my shoulders, as if someone’s eyes were on me. I turned around and found a dark figure, far in the distance, staring right at me. I took a few steps towards him, thinking he was the owner of the cloak and was running after it. He turned quickly and ran in the opposite direction.

  “Wait,” I called. “I found your cloak!” Not wanting to wait until he was so far out of sight that I could never catch up, I ran after him.

  I followed the man until he disappeared behind some trees. Just inside those trees was a camp. Figures, hidden behind their cloaks, moved about picking up weapons and packing them onto wagons. I quickly ducked under the tall grass and used it to hide my appearance.

  The wind shifted, blowing in my nose the smell of camp fire, sour milk, and rotting meat. It swam inside my head, making me dizzy and causing my stomach to churn. I couldn't hold back. I turned to the side and emptied my stomach. I tried to be quiet, but I knew it was no use. I slowly popped my head up to see if I had gone unheard.

  Four hooded figur
es stood on the outskirts of the trees. I caught a glimpse of their faces and sucked a quick breath of shock. Goblins. Ugly, green, scaly creatures that make Blyl look as handsome as a god. They stood with their weapons in their hands, ready to attack and kill whatever had dared to venture too close to their encampment. My heart froze as they took a step towards me. Their eyes searching the area around me, apparently not seeing me. They exchanged a few words in their language and started to break up. I feared they were going to come at me from different angles.

  A shout filled the air from inside the trees. The four goblins looked at each other, over the field again and turned around to greet whoever had caught their attention. I poked my head up, cautiously, to see who had deterred my fate. I couldn't see a thing. I had to know what these goblins were doing there. They had to have a reason for being camped so close to the elves territory. I maneuvered my way to the trees, careful to keep enough distance from the camp and still get a glimpse of what was going on. This could be my chance to earn the elves trust and permission to remain by Marren's side.

  I watched the ground carefully. I stepped on places my feet would make the least amount of sound and used the trees to steady myself. Luckily for me, they were close enough to do that. I managed to make my way in far enough to see that a familiar man stood with his back to me. He had bright red hair and a black cloak. Jiren. The thought of him forced bile into my mouth. If I could spit acid, I surely would. Just in front of him, was another person I never thought I would see. Gurth. I didn't want to immediately think he had defected, but Jiren was quite convincing when he needed to be. There had to be a reason for them being together. I was going to find out what it was. But I couldn't get close enough to hear without them discovering I was there.

  They turned and walked into a tent that was tacked to the surrounding trees. That was the chance I needed. I slipped unnoticed through the trees, as quietly as I could manage and shimmied my way towards the back of the tent. I didn't need to get as close as I did to hear, but I wanted to also see what they were doing.