Beside the Brook

by Paulette Rae

  “Tyler, stay with me.” Kirsten unbuttoned her shirt and carefully removed it. She knew there were major arteries in the thigh and if she didn’t stop the bleeding it would mean his life. She stared at his face, pale and listless in the fading light. Maybe it was already too late. The remains of day still held some heat but a cool breeze wafted over the bay and cooled her wet skin.

  “I just-,” Tyler whispered, “wanna sleep a l-little.”

  “No,” Kirsten knelt beside him. Wrapping the shirt around his leg she secured it over the tear in his pants. She averted her eyes, couldn’t bring herself to look too closely at the wound in case the sight made her faint. What good would she be then? “Lucky you weren’t wearing shorts mate,” Kirsten joked as she tried to keep Tyler focused on her words. “He obviously didn’t like the taste of your jeans otherwise he might have been back to get the rest of you.”

  Tyler smiled but kept his eyes closed. “Juss as well these are my ole jeans,” he slurred.

  “There you go.” Kirsten smiled, relieved to hear the humour in his voice, even though he sounded as if he were stoned out of his tree. She jumped to her feet and climbed down into the cabin to find a blanket. Plucking one from a narrow couch she returned and placed it over Tyler, tucking it in under his sides. If she could get his body temperature up then he might just have a chance. Then she remembered the radio. What if Jamie hadn’t heard them? What if nobody knew where they were?

  “I’m going to call for help. Tyler. You just wait there.”

  Tyler’s eyes opened and he lifted one hand, took hold of Kirsten by the wrist.

  “Wait,” he said. “I don’t want to die alone.”

  Kirsten began to sob, big salty tears streaming down her face and falling onto Tyler as she bent over him.

  “You’re not going to die.” In the distance Kirsten could hear the hum of a diesel boat engine. She slumped back down on the deck and Tyler rolled to put his head onto her legs. She stroked his hair and smiled.

  “Someone’s coming. It’s going to be okay.”

  “Mmm.” He closed his eyes and buried his face in her lap.

  “Don’t you go to sleep on me,” Kirsten ordered. “You know you have a big debt to repay me and I’m not letting you get off lightly.”

  “You’re so b-bossy,” Tyler sighed. “I’m so glad you’re n-not my n-nanny.”

  The sun had almost disappeared as the boat approached. Kirsten felt the wake push their craft from side to side and she peered into the darkness. There was no mistaking who had come for them when she heard the voice call out.

  “Kirsten.”

  Her heart leapt and fresh tears sprang to her eyes. “Jamie!”

  A bright light flooded the deck and Kirsten shielded her face with her arm until her eyes adjusted. In a matter of seconds Jamie crossed from one boat to the other and was down on the deck next to Kirsten. He dragged her out from under Tyler and she yelped as he squeezed her broken arm.

  “Jesus, Kirsty. What happened?”

  “He was attacked by a shark,” Kirsten sobbed as she peered up at her knight in shining armour. “We have to get him to hospital.”

  Jamie knelt, placing himself between Kirsten and Tyler. Kirsten peered over his shoulder, but Jamie’s body threw a dark shadow over Tyler’s face and she couldn’t see anything.

  “Kirsten I’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do for Tyler. It’s too late,” Jamie whispered.

  “No!” Kirsten shrieked in alarm. “He was just talking to me a few minutes ago. He’s just sleeping.”

  “He’s not breathing, Kirst, and there’s no pulse.”

  “No!” She tried to push Jamie out of the way. Why was he lying? Jamie stood, turned and took Kirsten around the waist.

  “Kirsty, he’s gone.”

  “He’s not.” She beat at his chest, tried to push him away. “We have to help him.”

  “Stop!” Jamie pinned her arms to her side and drew her into his chest. “He’s gone, Kirsty. It’s too late.”

  Kirsten collapsed against him. Sobs wracked her body and she cried into the warmth of Jamie’s jacket. He held her tight in his arms, his lips firm against the top of her head as she poured her emotions into him.

  “It’s okay,” Jamie soothed.

  “It’s not okay,” Kirsty sobbed, her face hidden inside the soft cocoon of Jamie’s embrace. “This is my fault, Jamie.”

  Jamie clucked his tongue and lifted Kirsten’s chin so that her face was tilted to his own. “Don’t you dare say it. You know as well as I do Tyler brought this all on himself.”

  In the distance came the soft hum of another boat approaching.

  “The coastguard and probably the police,” Jamie whispered.

  “How much do they know?”

  “Only what I had to tell them to get them out here.”

  “How much did you hear, Jamie?” Kirsten wiped her face.

  “I heard everything up to where Tyler asked you what you were going to do. After that you got too far away from the radio. I knew something was wrong when everything went quiet. I tried to call back on other frequencies but you must have jammed the radio. I couldn’t get through and I was already heading back to the house, so I went down to Sam Gordon’s place and borrowed the boat.” He pushed the hair out of Kirsten’s face, his eyes filled with concern. “Jesus, Kirsty. I was sure I was going to find your body here, not Tyler’s. What on earth possessed you to come out here with Tyler on your own?”

  “You were so mad at me. I just wanted to put things right. I needed to know what had really happened. It was the only thing I could think of to do.” She put her good arm around Jamie’s neck and he squeezed her to him.

  “God, Kirsten.” He breathed into her hair. “I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost you.”

  Another light appeared as the third boat approached and they heard voices.

  “Wait here.” Jamie released Kirsten but she grabbed him by the wrist before he could go.

  “Jamie?”

  “What?”

  “Don’t tell them everything.”

  “What do you mean?” He frowned.

  “I don’t want Beth to know-,” she paused, “you know, everything. There’s no need. Please.”

  Jamie looked confused for a moment. “But . . .”

  “Please Jamie,” Kirsten pleaded. “It’s over. Let him die in peace. Beth doesn’t need to know.”

  “Okay.”

  The chain of events which followed seemed to meld into a blur for Kirsten. She let Jamie take charge and she answered the questions she was asked, omitting anything that would incriminate Tyler. She didn’t have to lie; neither of them did. The facts were she had fallen over board and Tyler had been attacked by a shark. It didn’t seem suspicious and so they were not asked anything they had to falsify. She watched as they carried Tyler’s lifeless form from the deck of the boat and covered him with a blanket. She cried and Jamie took her in his arms. Tyler was gone.

  “Come on; let’s get you out of here.” Jamie led her to the other boat, wrapped a blanket around her for warmth. “I’m going to take you home.”

  Kirsten sat in silence in the darkness. Home to what? She wondered as they headed back to the house. How could she go back there and act as if this had all been one big accident? How could she face Beth, knowing she was responsible for the death of her second child? Nothing would ever be the same again.

  Chapter 15

  “Kirsten, I need to get you to hospital. Your arm needs to be set.” Jamie stood in the kitchen under the bright halogens with the limb in question in his large hands. “I’m going to take the boat back to Sam’s, get the car and come back for you.”

  Kirsten raised her sad green eyes to Jamie’s face. “You’re not leaving me here alone, Jamie. Not now.”

  Jamie sighed. “Then I’ll take you with me.”

  “No.” Kirsten shook her head. “I’m not getting back on a damn boat again tonight. Please don’t make me.”

  �
�Okay.” Jamie smiled, lowered her arm and took her face between his hands instead.

  “Let me at least get you out of these wet clothes.”

  He stripped her clinging clothes carefully from her body until she stood, just in her underwear, in the middle of the kitchen. Then he lifted her gently off her feet and carried her to his bedroom.

  “And before you say anything else, yes, you are sleeping with me tonight. I’m not leaving you alone like this.” He pushed the door and carried her across the floor to the bed. In the dark she sat and let Jamie help her out of her bra. Then she peeled off her knickers and climbed in between the blankets.

  “What, you think I’m going to argue with that?” she asked as she listened to him undress on the other side of the room.

  As he slipped in beside her Kirsten rolled and nestled into his warmth. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she hung her arm over his back. She felt the floodgates open again and she cried into him. Her tears flowed down over the fine hairs of his chest and she clung to him as he held her against him.

  “It’s okay.” His fingers traced the outline of her spine, down to her waist and he pulled her even closer to his body. “God, Kirsten. I’m so sorry.”

  “I’m the one who should be sorry,” she sobbed.

  “No, none of this is your fault. I should have looked after you. I should never have left like I did. I knew something wasn’t right with Tyler but I ignored it. If I’d just told you more, let you in . . .”

  “I let you go,” Kirsten said with a sigh. “I should have explained, made things right between us.”

  “You had a right to be mad at me. I put that damn wall up and let Tyler get to me again. It wasn’t right to take it out on you. If I’d just come to you none of this would have happened.”

  “Jamie?” Kirsten asked in a whisper.

  “Yes?”

  “You knew about Sarah, didn’t you?”

  “I guess I did,” Jamie confessed. “Though part of me never wanted to admit it. It was easier to turn a blind eye. It’s something I should have faced up to a long time ago.”

  “Do you think Tyler is her father?”

  Jamie sighed. “I really don’t know, Kirsten. It’s a strong possibility.”

  “Don’t you want to know?”

  “What would it solve now? Tyler’s gone.”

  “For your own sake though, don’t you need to know?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t want to think about it tonight. I just want to make sure you’re alright.” He touched his lips to her forehead. “You’re shaking, are you still cold?”

  “No,” Kirsten whispered.

  They lay in silence for a few moments but the volume in the room was more than Kirsten could bear.

  “Jamie?”

  “Ah-huh?”

  “I need to tell you what happened with Greg Hamilton.”

  “It’s okay Kirsty, you don’t need to explain.”

  “Yes I do. I should have told you earlier but I wasn’t sure how to broach the subject and it just never seemed like the right time.”

  “Well, it certainly wasn’t on my mind tonight after everything that’s happened.”

  “I know. But it was blown out of proportion and I want you to know my side of the story. Tyler didn’t even hear it from me. I think you should know that. He decided to go skulking into my closet before Beth hired me, and what he found must have looked pretty bad.”

  “If he knew how to do one thing it was to manipulate a situation to his own advantage.”

  Kirsten wiped a stray tear from her face. “God, I still can’t believe he’s gone.”

  “Hey, it’s okay.” Jamie shook her gently, realised why she wanted to talk about something else. “Tell me your story.”

  Kirsten sniffed and got herself under control again. Taking a deep breath she let it filter out between her lips.

  “I went to work for Greg and Shantelle when their twins, Jaden and Connor, were born. Shantelle was an accountant, she had her own business, and Greg worked in the building industry, he was also self-employed. They both earned great money so it was just natural for them to hire a full time nanny so they could both continue working. They were a great couple and they seemed happy. There was never any awkwardness between us. Shantelle was a beautiful, confident person and everyone liked her. She treated me like part of the family. I’d have the weekends off but I’d often hang around the house because we got on so well.

  “When the twins were eight months old Shantelle decided to take them to her mother’s in the North Island for a long weekend. I offered to stay and look after things while she was gone. You know, clean and cook for Greg.

  “Greg had work on the Saturday so I cooked a huge evening meal for both of us. The wine flowed and we ate, chatted, and laughed. I remember a song on the radio because Greg made some comment, which struck me as rather odd, something about a guy he used to go to school with and I wasn’t sure what the association was. Anyway, that’s the last thing I remember clearly. The rest of the evening is still lost to me, save waking up in their bed with Greg naked beside me. I know it sounds terrible but it wouldn’t have been so bad if Shantelle hadn’t found us there. I spent the rest of the day puking my guts out and holding my head together before it split in two. It wasn’t until much later that someone suggested I’d been slipped something in the wine. If I had thought about it I could have gone to a doctor, been drug tested or something, but it was too late by then. It would have been my word against Greg’s, so I left without a fuss. It was only later, when I went to see a lawyer who dug up information on Greg’s past, that it all seemed to fit. He’d been arrested before he met Shantelle, on drugs charges, and there had also been a rape charge, which was dropped before it made it to court. It was almost enough

  to make me take it further, but then I thought about Shantelle and what it would do to her and the boys, so I just left it.”

  Jamie was quiet for a moment as he digested everything he had heard. Then he spoke in a soft raspy voice, “God, Kirsty. I had no idea.”

  “Of course you didn’t.” Kristen shrugged. “That’s why I should have told you. I had nothing to hide. Instead Tyler took this little tidbit of information and turned it into a sordid affair.”

  “And the rest is history,” Jamie finished under his breath. Kirsten rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. The room was a grey blur of merging shadows but now her eyes had adjusted to the dark she could just make out Jamie’s face. Her arm throbbed and she knew there would be little sleep for her before she had to face the new day. Jamie lay quiet in his own thoughts, not sure what to say to make her feel any better. She was in his space, surrounded by the smells and sounds of his world, but something which should have been hers to build wonderful memories on just added to her sadness. She was naked in Jamie’s arms, but the events leading up to it were ultimately wrong. Nothing about it felt right.

  Sadly she thought about Tyler. Even in death he had been victorious. He had driven a wedge between them and she wondered if anything would ever be normal between them again. The secrets they shared would forever be Tyler’s weapon against them.

  * * * *

  Kirsten kicked a stone along the dirt road. The echo resounded off the clay wall as it bounced, down through the Manuka trees toward the house. She picked her way along the driveway, down into the shade of the native bush. She cradled the day’s mail across her chest with one hand. Her other arm hung at her side, the purple cast swinging back and forth against her body. It covered most of her lower arm, and bent round her thumb, leaving her five appendages peeking from the end. Little tufts of cotton swabbing had frayed where she had poked a knitting needle in to ease the itching. She couldn’t wait for the day when it was time to have the cast removed. It had been nothing but a nuisance; a constant reminder of what they had all been through. She found Jamie by the fence of the old horse paddock. His back was turned to her as he leaned over the old wooden railing, staring off into space as if t
he world had come to rest on his shoulders.

  He turned and smiled as she approached.

  “Hi, there.”

  Kirsten grinned as she pulled a large manila envelope from the pile and waved it in front of Jamie’s face. “It came.”

  It had been her ritual to check the mail every day since they had arrived home from the hospital.

  Talking Jamie into taking the test had been one thing, but actually getting him to open the envelope was going to be another, she decided, as the expression on his face dropped.

  “Open it, Jamie.” She lifted his hand to take the letter from her.

  “I don’t know if I can.” Jamie eyed the envelope with speculation, as if it might explode in his face. He took a deep breath, looked at Kirsten and then let the air go in one massive blow.

  “Of course you can.” She dropped her smile and gave him a serious glare. “You know she’s still your daughter regardless of what a piece of paper says.”

  Jamie smiled, but his brows were drawn together into tiny lines. “I know. But I’ve had this in the back of my mind for so long. I don’t quite know what I’ll do once I know the truth.”

  Kirsten touched his hand. “It’s something else you can finally put behind you.”

  Carefully Jamie tore the top of the envelope, creating a little curl of brown paper as the end ripped away. Kirsten took it from him and twisted it in her fingers impatiently. He reached inside and pulled a thin sheet of paper from the envelope. Kirsten could see the hospital insignia through the back of it but could not make out the words below.

  “What does it say?” Her voice was shrill and impatient. “Jamie?”

  His face was expressionless as he read the results again. Kirsten’s heart dropped in her chest. The news obviously confirmed the fears he had carried for so many years.