Shame

by Fiona Cole

  “Give it to me, Ana. It’s my orgasm and I want it.” Her thighs trembled on each side of me, and I glued my eyes to the way my dick looked pulling out of her, covered in her wetness. “So wet,” I muttered. Leaning down, I covered her back with my chest and growled into her ear, “Only a whore would get so wet from being pinned down against her mercy and fucked.”

  Tight spasms squeezed my dick, almost shoving me out. Wanting to hear her orgasm, I loosened my grip on her back so she could lift her face as she came. She didn’t disappoint, her orgasm ripped through her as she screamed out her release. It was more than I could handle. I let go in an endless stream of shocks pouring from my dick into the condom. My vision blurred and all my senses were zeroed in to the way my cock felt being squeezed by Ana’s tight pussy.

  Once my senses returned, I collapsed and rolled to the side, pinching the condom as I pulled out of her. Her body jerked and I sat up, trying to see her face, worried I’d hurt her. As soon as the fire fled from my body post orgasm, doubt crept in about what I’d done. “Ana. Are you okay?”

  Her shoulders shook, and I started to panic. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I had been too lost in the moment, and I’d been hurting her and didn’t know. My eyes began to burn as I stuttered out an apology. “Fuck, Ana. I’m sorry. So, so, so sorry.”

  “Why the hell are you sorry?” she asked, turning her smiling face toward me.

  “Wait, you’re smiling?” I blinked rapidly trying to comprehend what I thought was happening and what was actually happening. Ana was laughing.

  “After that, why the hell wouldn’t I be?”

  “Shit, I thought you were crying,” I admitted, falling back in relief against the couch and pulling her into my arms. Her damp skin glued to mine and it was wonderful. My arm slipped between her breasts, still covered by her shirt and bra, and I relished the feel of her racing heart. The beat soothed me and the shame that had begun to grow dissolved just as quickly. With Ana, there should be no shame about who we were, just acceptance.

  As the adrenaline receded, I could feel the cool air against my skin. I reached behind us for a blanket. Ana’s heavy, contented sigh was just as good as her cries of passion and pain. Hearing it was like a light bulb turning on. We’d been denying ourselves the pleasure we could only find in each other’s arms. Why did we fight it? We could make it work.

  Leaning in, I pressed a trail of soft kisses up her shoulder and decided to throw it all out there, hoping she would have me. “Let’s not stop. Let’s be friends and whatever this is. You’re my best friend and I can’t imagine sharing these experiences with anyone else. Hell, we may never get to experience this again.”

  “Kevin . . .” She tried to turn in my arms, but I was too scared to see the denial in her eyes.

  “Okay,” she said finally. One word. Two syllables. But it was one of the best words I’d ever heard.

  “Our friendship still comes first. No matter what. I promise that won’t ever change,” I said, rushing to assure her.

  “Okay,” she repeated. Then she tugged my hand up and kissed my palm before settling back against me.

  We must have dozed for a while. When a loud crash on the television from the next movie woke me up, I jerked searching for the time. I was worried my parents would be standing over us, wondering what the hell was going on.

  But when I saw we still had a couple of hours, I decided to take advantage of our new circumstances.

  “Ana.” She arched, pushing her ass against my growing dick. “Ana,” I said again, deepening my voice. There was something about using an authoritative tone with her that made my blood pump a little harder. She seemed to like it too. When she rolled over to face me, I still felt the need to double check with her before giving in to the monster begging to be set free.

  Her wide eyes still held traces of sleep and she stared at me with trust and acceptance. Brushing her hair back, I gave her my warning. “I want you to suck my dick again. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since you last wrapped those full lips around me.”

  Her eyes darkened and she didn’t say a word, only nodded.

  “Get on your knees on the floor, your back to the couch.” She complied without hesitation. “Take your shirt off. I want to stare at your pink nipples when I come.” Her hand shook as she pulled her shirt over her head. Once it was tossed aside, she sat there waiting for my next command. “Keep your hands on your thighs. I want complete control of your mouth.”

  “Yes,” she breathed out. Her eyes remained glued to my dick as I wrapped it in my hand and began stroking it.

  “You want this? Want to suck me and swallow my cum?”

  I watched her throat move as though she was practicing for the swallow before she breathed out, “Yes.”

  It was all I needed. As I stepped closer, her mouth opened, welcoming the head of my dick. I teased, only thrusting in past the ridge. But when I pushed further and saw the way her cheeks hollowed on the suck, I lost the grip on my control. I buried my hand in her hair and began thrusting harder and deeper. Lightning shot through my balls when I tapped the back of her throat causing her to gag. Part of me warned myself to be careful and edged back, but when I got close again, she inched forward and gagged again, and any warning of my own vanished.

  Keeping my eyes glued to her lips wrapped around my dick, I fucked her face, pushing past her throat and dying every time it tightened up against the intrusion. Again and again, I pushed in, triggering her gag reflex, until I couldn’t take it anymore.

  “I’m gonna come. Swallow me. Swallow it all.”

  Even as cum started shooting out of my dick down her throat, I kept fucking her face, enjoying the way the cum pooled out of her lips and dripped down her chin. Roaring at the way I marked her. I tightened my ass as I pushed in further, dragging out every last vestige of my pleasure.

  My knees felt like they were going to give out, and I stepped back releasing her hair. Ana used one hand to wipe her chin and the other to wipe the tears leaking from her eyes.

  “Fuck, I’m sor—”

  “Stop. Fucking. Apologizing.” Her sharp tone brought me back to Earth from my orgasm faster than anything else. “I have two hands, and I always know I can make you stop. You would never push me more than I wanted to be pushed. I know you Kevin. I know you would never hurt me. If we’re going to make this work, then you have to stop apologizing. Otherwise I’m going to have to apologize for being a slutty doormat.”

  “Anabelle,” I reprimanded. I wasn’t going to listen to her call herself that. It was completely different from when I talked dirty to her. “Don’t ever—”

  “See. It’s not easy to hear the other person think or say bad things about themselves. So, stop apologizing for who you are when I like it so much.”

  Ana. My Ana. I should never have doubted her strength or ability to tell me no. And I never would again after listening to her read me the riot act, sitting there naked on her knees with cum at the corner of her mouth.

  “Hot, damn you are the perfect woman,” I muttered before I attacked her, kissing her, tasting myself on her lips.

  “I know,” she said, giggling.

  “Shut up and lay back. I’m about to fuck you so hard with my fingers, you’re going to wonder if my whole hand is inside you. And when you realize it’s not, you’re going to beg for it to be.”

  Her eyes widened, but also filled with heat. “How much porn do you watch?” she asked, nailing it on the head how I got most of my ideas.

  “Enough to make it good.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Ana

  “Ana,” Gwen called from across the lunch table. “We’re doing a girls’ night Friday and wanted to know if you wanted to come.”

  “Yeah. Definitely,” I agreed without hesitation. Ever since summer, things had been strained between the group of girls I’d become friends with. I had Kevin, but it’d been lonely without having them too. Sometimes there were things that a girl just needed to talk about with
another girl, and as much as I could talk to Kevin about everything, it didn’t mean I wanted to.

  Summer had been the hardest. Gwen had still hung out with me, but I’d been hesitant to be around Chloe and Jane since they hadn’t wanted to be around me. I tended to not get invitations to group outings.

  “God, I need a girls’ night,” Chloe sighed from next to me. “Between college tours and the guy I slept with over break taking up all my time and patience, I need to relax.”

  “You’re talking to a guy you slept with two months ago?” Isaac asked incredulously. “That’s impressive for you.”

  “He’s like a stage five clinger and good in bed. It’s a difficult combo to deal with.” Chloe shrugged, not seeming too concerned. “Besides, I slept with Josh, and I still talk to him.”

  Josh ducked his head, looking real interested in his sandwich. Everyone’s wide eyes turned toward him. Apparently, this was new information.

  “Does that mean if I sleep with you, you’ll stop talking to me,” Sean piped in.

  The guys laughed and Chloe flipped him off. Everyone was so focused on Sean and Chloe going back and forth, that no one noticed me jump when Kevin’s hand settled on my bare knee under the table. They didn’t notice me almost choke on my yogurt as his hand trailed up the inside of my thigh and push my plaid skirt up with it. The cafeteria had gone fuzzy and the chatter turned to white noise as I anticipated how far he would go.

  His pinky reached my panties and dove under the elastic. I thought I was going to crush my water bottle as his digit dragged along the seam of my pussy.

  “What are your plans this weekend, Kevin?” Jane asked from next to him. His hand stopped its progress and moved above the table. Damn, Jane. But he made it a point to suck on his finger before responding to her. Tease.

  “Just kind of hanging out. We have a game Saturday and then nothing.”

  “Maybe we can go to the movies some time,” she suggested and I had to fight back the ‘no’ that was clawing its way out of my throat.

  “Yeah, maybe some time,” Kevin answered with a lack of commitment. Jane never seemed to get the hint, but you had to admire the girl’s determination. She saw a deadline, and as it approached, she became fiercer in her moves to get what she wanted.

  If only she knew Kevin’s hand had been on my thighs a moment ago. If only she’d known that he’d fucked me in the back seat of his car last night. Or the way he’d made me suck him off on the roof last week.

  But no one knew. It wasn’t that we’d meant to keep it a secret, but Kevin and I—as forward as we were when fucking—didn’t do PDA. And since our friendship was so close all these years, there wasn’t anything different to see. We acted the same as before. Just now we knew what each other looked like naked, what we tasted like, felt like. It worked for us, not having prying eyes on our relationship. Then no one looked too closely as to why I had bruises on my wrists or scabs on my knees.

  It was our secret and it felt all the dirtier because of it. Shivers racked my body every time Kevin took his pinky and brushed it across the dark mark left on my forearm, just to remind me of how it got there. If someone asked if I was cold, I had to hold back a laugh because I was actually burning with desire.

  When the bell rang at the end of lunch, we packed up our stuff and headed to class. Kevin and I both had study period but in different areas of the school. He walked me to the library, and before I stepped away, he gripped my bicep and tugged me closer so he could whisper in my ear.

  “Meet me in the theater, behind the stage.”

  Backing into my room, I nodded, taking in his smirk and heated eyes scanning my bare legs. I’d taken to wearing skirts despite it being winter because I loved the way it tortured Kevin or gave him a way to touch me in subtle brushes that appeared accidental. But we both knew.

  Sitting down for just enough time to get settled, I got up to leave.

  “Can I help you, Miss Montgomery?” the librarian asked.

  “Just a restroom break.”

  “Don’t take too long. No roaming the hallways,” she warned. I nodded and made a note to enter in the back door of the library on my way back in so she wouldn’t notice how long I was gone.

  Walking into the theater, I took in the empty seats and made my way to the stage. Behind the curtain, equipment from the recent play littered the area. The darkness made it difficult to see, and I was careful not to trip over a prop or chord. Moving to the wings, I almost screamed when an arm wrapped around my waist and the other around my mouth, pulling me back into a hard body.

  “Don’t scream. Don’t move,” Kevin growled into my ear.

  “Fuck, Kevin,” I sputtered once his hand dropped from my mouth. “You scared the hell out of me.”

  “Good.” He ran his hand along the outside of my thigh and then under my skirt, reaching for my panties. He fisted the waistband and tugged them down.

  “What the hell are you doing?” My breath sawed in and out of my chest, feeling exposed with the black lace tangled around my knees. He didn’t answer, but I felt his hand unbuckling his pants and brushing against my bottom. “Kevin . . .” I said again, but he flipped my skirt up, and used his arm around my waist to yank me higher into contact with his hard cock before tearing open a condom wrapper.

  “Going to fuck you, Ana.”

  I was throbbing, aching. God, the way he’d snuck up on me and just begun tugging my clothes out of the way. The way he hadn’t asked, just moved me where he wanted me. The fact that we were in school, where anyone could catch us. All of it was setting my body on fire.

  “Be a good girl and don’t make a sound.” He shifted his hips and without warning, he pushed inside me in one shove.

  I groaned, unable to hold back every sound. I was wet, but Kevin was big and he hadn’t prepared me in any way, so it burned. And I loved it. He barely pulled back before he pushed in again. His thrusts were quick and deep. The frantic pace he set added to the intensity of being caught.

  “Touch yourself,” he whispered. “Come for me. We don’t have much time.”

  One hand splayed on his thigh, holding on, and the other moved between my legs to rub at my clit. The theater was so silent that our heavy breathing and quiet moans sounded like shouts. I felt like we were daring someone to come in and watch us.

  I thought I was going to draw blood from biting my lips when Kevin’s hand roughly pinched my nipple beneath my shirt causing me to hold back my scream. There was no relief, he held on to my tip and squeezed, the burn shooting straight down to my throbbing core.

  I wondered what we would look like to someone who stumbled upon us. Locked together, his body pressed to my hunched back as he rutted against me like an animal in heat. His fingers latched on to my breast and my hand moving furiously between my legs.

  Just the thought—creating the image in my head—set me off. “Ke-Kevin,” I cried out on a breath, desperate to stay quiet as I arched up onto my toes and let the waves of pleasure pour over me. He clamped his hand over my parted lips to hold in the cries of my orgasm and buried his head into my back, letting his moans vibrate through my chest.

  My whole body shook when I came down from my high. Our bodies both leaned forward as our chests heaved in sync from the effort it took to fuck so quickly.

  Kevin placed a soft kiss between my shoulder blades and slipped out of me, holding me up so I didn’t collapse in a heap on the floor. Turning around, I pulled my panties up my legs and watched him pull the condom off. My pussy squeezed. Such an intimate moment that turned me on just to see him tugging the thin piece of latex off his softening dick. Without thinking, I squatted down and sucked the tip of his cock between my lips, wanting to taste him. His hand fisted in my hair and thrust in deep with a moan before pulling out and lifting me for a kiss.

  It turned me on that he didn’t mind the taste of himself. Hell, everything Kevin did turned me on. Things I didn’t even think about or consider turned me on with him. Almost every day we discovered mor
e and more and it felt safe and exciting to do it with him. My best friend. Kevin looked down at me and smiled as he buckled up his pants.

  “That was pretty risky. We could’ve gotten caught.”

  “And that is the thrill of it,” he answered. Shaking my head, I heaved a sigh trying to understand him. “Relax, I set a stool up by the door. That way if anyone entered, we’d hear them.”

  He came over and laid a gentle kiss on my lips. I never tired of the way the fullness felt pressed to mine. “I just know how you are.” That he took such a huge risk with me, sent a rush of adoration through my body.

  He ran a hand through his hair, blowing out a breath. Kevin’s biggest fear was getting caught. Or not necessarily getting caught, but the thought of people finding out his interests. He always told me he thought people would call him abusive and disgusting. Then because of his father’s position in the community, word would spread and ruin his dad’s reputation. I understood his fear about people finding out and how it could hurt his father. But I hated the idea that he still thought something was wrong with him.

  We’d already taken enough time, and I didn’t want to press our luck or be out too long. I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the exit. “Come on, creeper. We need to get back to class.”

  “Creeper?” he asked, laughing as we walked out the door.

  “Yeah, you snuck up on me like a creeper.”

  “Just as long as you don’t think I’m a creep.”

  “Well ... ” I said, dragging out the word, trying to get a rise out of him. He lunged for me and dug his fingers into my ribs, and I shrieked. We stumbled into the hall, laughing, as I fought him off. I was about to reach for his crotch when someone called out our names, and we froze.

  “Kevin, you asshole. Leave the girl alone,” Isaac said, laughing at our antics.

  But I wasn’t laughing anymore, I was sure my face was turning beet red with guilt. I glanced at Kevin to see he was swallowing hard before forcing a fake laugh.