Roberta Leigh - In Name Only

by Roberta Leigh

  The effort she had made justified the result, for Nicholas jumped to his feet and came over to her, his face suffused with desire.

  "Carole!" he exclaimed. "I didn't expect you."

  "I wanted it to be a surprise."

  Her arms came around his neck and she drew him close, the fear of losing him giving her a deeper need for assurance that made itself apparent by the added passion with which she pressed her body against his, kissing him with almost wanton abandon.

  Although overwhelmed with desire, some part of Nicholas remained aloof, posing a question which angered and surprised him. How could he criticize Jane for her behaviour when his own was as bad? Never before had he considered his relationship with Carole in relation to his marriage - after all, it was not a marriage in the proper sense of the word and therefore had no meaning. But if this were the case then he had no right to determine Jane's actions, and the knowledge made his anger return so forcefully that he drew away from Carole.

  Luckily she did not appear to notice. His initial responsive ardour had completely allayed her doubts and, perching on the arm of the leather chair in front of his desk, she took out a gold compact and repaired her make-up. At last, satisfied with her appearance, she stood up and went to the door. "If you are free later on, come over. I'll give you until midnight!" Blowing him a final kiss, she walked out.

  Alone again, Nicholas forgot about Carole completely, his mind obsessed with the problem of whether he should have a showdown with Jane. Finally he decided to admit he had seen her and John, and to discuss logically and calmly how they could meet the requirements stipulated in his father's will, without loss of face for either of them.

  But his intention to remain calm began to ebb the moment he entered the dining-room, fanned by Jane's obvious surprise at seeing him.

  "I didn't think you'd be in to dinner," she said.

  He sat down. "Two places have been laid."

  "They always are Devons keeps up the pretence better than anyone."

  His reply was forestalled by the arrival of dinner, and as one course followed another he could hardly control his irritation, his carefully planned conduct fading at the sight of Jane's composed behaviour.

  It was with a feeling of relief that he was finally able to push away his dessert plate and follow her into the library for coffee.

  "I saw you and John in the studio this morning," he said the moment they were alone. "I had to come back for some papers and I wanted to see how the portrait was going."

  Looking at his face, Jane drew a sharp breath. "I suppose you saw John kissing me?"

  "Yes. Do you intend to marry him when this fiasco is over?"

  "That's my business."

  Her quietness stung him to fury. "Perhaps there's no need for marriage. You were behaving like lovers already!"

  "How dare you!" Her hand came out and caught him a stinging slap across the cheek.

  "Why, you little -!" Savagely he grabbed her arms and pulled her close, rage stripping away the veneer of sophistication. "If kisses are so easy to get from you," he grated, "I might as well have a few myself."

  Before she could stop him his mouth came down hard and brutal on hers, the pressure increasing as she struggled to get away from him. She tried to cry out, but no words came, for as he became more demanding she began to shiver with ecstasy, pressing close against him, feeling the answering shudder of his body as it responded to hers.

  "Jane," he said thickly, and then stopped, releasing her with a suddenness that sent her reeling for support.

  Half blindly she stared at him, but what she saw in his face sent the blood to her cheeks, and sickened with shame, she closed her eyes to blot out the sight.

  "I can see why John finds you so enjoyable." His voice seemed to come from a long way off. "For an innocent girl you've a highly professional touch!"

  "Don't!" she gasped, and turned to grope for the door. "Stop taunting me, I can't bear it!"

  "I've only one more thing to say. Tell John he'll have to wait till I've finished with you!"

  As though his words were a whip she whirled round on him. "What a gentleman you are! But think of your own conduct too. Any game you can play, I can play better!"

  CHAPTER VII

  Some three weeks later Jane sat in the library writing a letter to her parents. It was always difficult to refer to Nicholas, for they still did not know the real reason for her marriage, and she racked her brains for some way of making them believe she was leading a normal, happy life. But she was still only on the first page when Devons came in to say the Duchess of Banster wanted to see her.

  "You mean she's here?" Jane asked in astonishment.

  "Yes, madam."

  Nervously Jane put down her pen. "You'd better show her in." It must be something to do with her charity work.

  As her visitor rushed into the library - Jane was soon to learn that the Duchess never moved at anything less than a trot - it was all she could do not to smile, for it was difficult to imagine anyone less tike a Duchess. A small, plump woman in her late fifties, her clothes looked as if they came from a jumble sale and - just as bad - as if they had been chosen by someone who was colour-blind! A bright blue coat was covered at the neck by a green and red scarf, white gloves, bag and hat were in various shades of brown and yellow.

  "My dear Mrs. Hamilton, how wonderful to see you." Unlike her appearance, the Duchess's voice was soft and distinguished, and Jane looked at her more closely, noticing the gentle face beneath the preposterous tea-cosy hat.

  "I'm sorry I haven't been to see you before," the Duchess continued, "I've been in America. But the moment I got back - well, hear I am."

  Jane smiled uncertainly. "It's very nice of you to call."

  "Purely selfish, my dear. I need your help." The large hat wobbled with emphasis. "Need all the help I can get. That's why I came. My committee, you know."

  "I see."

  "Good. Then I needn't say any more. You can start at once."

  "Doing what?" Jane was startled.

  "I'll tell you tomorrow. Come to my house at noon and meet the rest of the committee. We'll decide on your job after that." The Duchess gathered up her large handbag. "No time to talk now. I'm already late for my next appointment. Don't bother seeing me out. I can find my own way, and I don't like butlers!"

  Her words were still drifting behind her as she raced from the room, and Jane could not help smiling at the thought of working with such an eccentric character. Yet eccentric or not, the Duchess's offer was a godsend, affording her one way of alleviating the boredom of her lonely days.

  After her humiliating scene with Nicholas three weeks ago she had told John it would be best if they did not meet so frequently, and despite his pleas she would not change her mind.

  "It isn't fair to you" she had said firmly. "Nicholas hates me so much he'll try and hurt anyone I like."

  "I'm willing to take that chance. Gossip won't kill me."

  "But it's ugly and I can't bear it. Leave me, John. I'll call you when I can."

  "Don't make it too long," he had urged. "I love you."

  At first Jane had not missed him, but as evening succeeded empty evening and each day seemed longer than the last, she grew more lonely, and for this reason alone welcomed the idea of devoting her time to charity.

  After a solitary lunch she left the house, and walking down the steps to the car heard the tinkle of glass. Looking down she saw that the face of her watch had fallen out, and with an exclamation of annoyance she picked it up and put it in her handbag.

  "If we go to Mr. Hamilton's jewellers," the chauffeur volunteered, "I'm sure they'll be able to put it in while you wait."

  As the Rolls glided through the busy streets she leaned back against the cool leather and enjoyed the luxury of being driven where she wanted to go, instead of having to rely on crowded buses or noisy trains. Not that she had better get accustomed to it, she warned herself. In a matter of months she would once more become a working girl, a s
lave to the clock and a victim of rush-hour queues!

  The car stopped, and looking through the window Jane saw the dignified facade of Dean & Poulstones, their Royal warrant discreetly small below their name.

  As she entered the large, square room with its glass-topped counter and thick carpets, a young man came forward to greet her.

  "Can I help you, madam?"

  "I'd like a new glass for this, please." She handed him the broken watch.

  "Certainly, madam. It will take a few days, I'm afraid, but if you leave your name and telephone number, we'll call you when it's ready."

  As Jane gave him her name she heard an exclamation from behind her, and a grey-haired man hurried over.

  "I don't think we've had the pleasure of seeing you here before, Mrs. Hamilton. Your husband is one of our most valued clients, and of course we had the pleasure of serving his father. May I, on behalf of the firm, offer you our congratulations on your marriage?" As Jane smiled her acknowledgement, he went on: "I hope you liked the brooch Mr.-Hamilton bought? I must confess I tried to induce him to buy a ruby one we'd just had designed for us, but he insisted on emeralds. Now I've had the pleasure of meeting you, I can quite understand. Emeralds are your stone, of course. They compliment your eyes."

  Jane was unaware of what reply she made, all she knew was that she had to get away as quickly as she could, and with a feeling of unutterable relief she entered her car, glad to hide in its concealing depths and absorb what she had just learned. There was no need to wonder for whom Nicholas had bought the brooch. It was as obvious as neon lights in a midnight sky.

  "Where would you like to go, Mrs. Hamilton?" The chauffeur's question brought Jane back to the present, and with an effort she forced herself to think clearly, deciding to while away the afternoon in a bookshop.

  Once surrounded by books Jane lost all sense of time, and it was after four o'clock when she came out into the street again. The thought of returning to a lonely house decided her to go out for tea, and a little while later she was seated at a table at Fortnums. How busy the restaurant was, and how many women there were who could afford the time to go out to tea! Despite herself, Jane was amused at her own naivety; because she had worked for a living such a short time ago it should not have blinded her to the fact that there were still many women with enough leisure and money to pamper themselves. Sitting back, she too studied the menu, taking her time in deciding whether to have chocolate eclairs with extra whipped cream or fruit gateau.

  To Carole, sipping her own tea in the opposite corner of the room, Jane's every action seemed studied and cool, and she felt an irresistible desire to destroy her composure. On the spur of the moment she stood up and moved across the room.

  Jane was disagreeably surprised to see Carole suddenly materialise in front of her, as sophisticated as always in an emerald green suit and matching hat.

  "Hello, Jane. I haven't seen you for ages." There was a note of mockery in Carole's voice. "You're looking very well. Do you mind if I join you for tea?"

  Warily Jane nodded. Carole would not have spoken to her without reason and she braced herself for what was to come. She did not have to wait, for no sooner had Carole sat down than she began to speak.

  "It was my birthday last night and you can't imagine what a head I had this morning! I've done nothing but drink tea all day."

  As she spoke she casually loosened her coat and let it fall back over her chair, disclosing the magnificent emerald and diamond brooch pinned to the neck of her blouse.

  Though Jane had already guessed for whom Nicholas had bought it, it was a shock to see it so blatantly confronting her, and her change of colour did not go unremarked.

  "Anything the matter?" Carole enquired solicitously. "You look awfully pale."

  "Too much standing." Jane spoke with an effort. "I was choosing some books." Against her will her eyes were drawn to the glittering stones, and Carole smiled triumphantly.

  "Isn't my brooch lovely?"

  "Very."

  "Nicky gave it to me for my birthday. He's so generous, I find it embarrassing."

  "That surprises me."

  Carole's mouth straightened into a hard line, but she merely pushed back her chair and stood up, forgetting all pretence of wanting any tea. "I really must go. I'm so glad you're keeping well - in such difficult circumstances."

  As the girl walked away Jane set down her cup sharply and regarded her cake with repugnance. How easily Carole had taken away her appetite! Signalling for the waitress, Jane paid her bill and left, determined that next time she went to a restaurant she would make certain Carole was not there.

  The moment she reached home she knew Nicholas had already arrived, for his briefcase was visible through the open door leading to the library. She went in quickly, disappointed not to find him there, and was turning to leave when the butler came in.

  "Is my husband upstairs ? " she asked.

  "No, madam. He came home about five, but he left again a few moments ago."

  Aware that Devons was watching her, she turned and walked to one of the bookshelves. "Did he - did my husband say what time he would be back to dinner?"

  "He said he wouldn't be coming back for it, madam."

  Blindly Jane reached out for a book, not caring what it was so long as she could hide her face in it.

  "What time would you be wanting dinner yourself?" Devons asked.

  "I won't have -" she stopped and changed her mind. "I'll have an omelette and coffee on a tray in my room."

  "Very good, madam. There's an excellent film on television and I'll tell Cook to see your tray is ready before it starts."

  "Thank you," Jane murmured, and kept her head bent over the book until she heard the door close. Then she threw the book aside and sank into a chair. What a joke her marriage must appear to the staff! A bride of a few months and she was having to entertain herself by watching a film on television. So much for Nicholas's desire to keep up pretences!

  Too restless to relax she wandered around the room, straightening a vase, moving an ashtray and just idly glancing along the bookshelves. If only she and Nicholas could regain something of the old comradeship which had been theirs when she had worked for his father. Several times -

  when Nicholas had been forced to give business dinners -she had surprised a look of appraisal in his eyes as he had watched her act out her part of hostess, and she had the feeling that during these occasions he was remembering his old relationship with her.

  "You're an excellent hostess," he had said only last week when they had given a dinner for a newspaper magnate from America.

  "It's a matter of organisation," she had replied, trying to hide her pleasure at his compliment

  "It required more than organisation to charm old man Everitt. Next time I have to do a deal with him, I'll get you to do it instead of me!"

  For days afterwards she had savoured his words, reading into them something that might give her hope - however small - for the future. But now she knew his words had meant nothing. All he cared about was Carole. All he wanted was his freedom to marry her.

  Dispiritedly she went to her room, pausing as she passed Nicholas's door and more than ever longing for his nearness.

  Dinner came up promptly at seven, but she could only toy with the food, and even though she tried to watch the film it was difficult to concentrate on other people's emotional entanglements when she had so many of her own. Finally she turned off the television and went to bed, but sleep too was impossible and her thoughts kept revolving around Nicholas and Carole, the two names beating in her brain like a pulse. She should never have married him; the whole thing had been nonsense. There must be some way in which they could contest the will. Though the draught of parting from him was painful, she knew it would be even worse to go on living with him for the one year that had been stipulated, and she vowed to talk to him about it at the first opportunity.

  She was startled from a light doze by a clatter from the next room, and putti
ng on the bedside lamp she saw it was nearly two-thirty in the morning. She heard Nicholas moving about in his bedroom and her heart started to thud painfully.

  Moistening her lips, she called his name. She heard him stop moving, then the door opened and he stood leaning against it, tall and forbidding in a dark-blue silk dressing-gown.

  "You wanted me?"

  "Yes. I must talk to you."

  "Can't it wait until the morning? It's rather late for idle conversation."

  "It can't wait, and it isn't idle conversation! I saw the brooch you bought for Carole."

  "Snooping?" he asked cruelly.

  "I had to go to Dean & Poulstones - my watch needed mending. The manager saw me and assumed you'd got the brooch for me. He asked if I liked it!" Nicholas said nothing and his silence increased her anger. "I can't go on with this farce any longer! It's humiliating and it disgusts me. I want an annulment now I I'm sure you can contest the will. Say I wouldn't stick to my side of the bargain - say anything, but for heaven's sake set me free!"

  "Set you free?" Nicholas strode over to the bed and glared at her. "You rotten cheat! You agreed to marry me knowing how I felt, but the moment you start feeling sorry for yourself you demand your freedom! Why didn't you refuse to agree to the arrangement when you heard the will? How dare you ask me to contest it now! Don't you realise it's too late for that? If you think I'm going to have my name in every gossip column in the country, you'd better think again!" His lips tightened. "An undefended nullity suit won't make as much scandal as contesting a will, and-"

  "Scandal!" Jane burst out furiously. "Thats all you think about. As long as no scandal touches the glorious Hamilton name you don't care what misery people have to suffer! It doesn't matter that your servants pity me as long as nobody outside the house knows!" Tears streamed down her cheeks as she continued wildly: "How dare you talk about keeping a bargain, when you can't keep one yourself for even three months! It wasn't part of the bargain that you should run around with Carole and make me look ridiculous!" Her tears blinded her and she groped for a handkerchief.