That Summer (Part Two)

by Lauren Crossley

“How nice for you.” He replies scornfully.

  “She’s a good person and has helped me a lot.” I reprimand him firmly. “She’s been a great friend to me over the past three years and I’ll always be grateful.”

  “I see.”

  I can tell he’s not exactly happy about me befriending someone who came to arrest him but he’s willing to let it go… for now.

  “Are we quite far from my apartment?” I ask, glancing out the window onto the fields beneath us. “Is it too late for us to drive back there?”

  It’s getting quite dark already and it will soon be dusk. The green meadows are illuminated by the pink hues from the sunset which will soon disappear and the isolation is strangely calming.

  “We’re about two hundred miles away from your apartment.” He answers brusquely, clearly not happy that I’m showing a desire to leave.

  “Really?”

  “It’s far too late for me to take you back now, you will have to stay the night.”

  “Fine.” I acquiesce reluctantly. “But I’m still leaving first thing in the morning.”

  “As you wish… I won’t try and stop you.” He murmurs, slumping against the wall behind him in defeat.

  “I’m going back upstairs.” I notify him coldly “And don’t even think about following me.”

  “Serena, wait.” He runs ahead of me so he can prevent me from walking away. “I’ll get down on my knees and beg you if I have to. Please don’t walk away from me. I can’t do this without you and I need you in my life.”

  “Cole, if you ever find yourself in trouble or really need someone then I want you to know I’ll always be there for you… but that’s as far as it goes.”

  “And that’s it?!” He exclaims loudly in objection. “You’ll be there for me but you don’t want to be with me? You’re willing to walk away and forget all about me?”

  “You don’t know me at all, do you?”

  I speak quietly, saddened by the statement Cole just made.

  “I know you still feel this.” He whispers, closing the distance between us.

  “I don’t feel anything.” I tell him, taking a step back.

  He places his hand against my chest, no doubt feeling my accelerated heartbeat.

  “I know you still want me despite… you still want this despite everything and the knowledge of that is what you’re relying on to keep yourself from me. Stop fighting it.”

  “I’ll never stop fighting you.”

  I shove him away from me and race up the stairs, slamming the bedroom door closed behind me.

  Chapter Nine

  I have no idea what time it is when I wake up in the middle of the night. I’m not even sure what woke me until I hear the soft click of the bedroom door being closed. I sit up in bed, breathing heavily as I try and figure out where I am.

  It only takes me a few moments for my memories to come rushing back to me, recalling the terrifying days I spent in the basement before I was brought up into this magnificent house. The house which Cole intended for us to live in together.

  “Cole?”

  My voice is shaky and unsure as I tremble with fear. There’s nothing within reach which I can use to protect myself and the thought of there being an intruder inside the same room of me is petrifying.

  “Shh, it’s just me.” Cole assures me, speaking softly.

  “What are you doing?” I demand sharply, trying to figure out where he’s standing in the dark.

  “It’s just not possible for me to sleep downstairs knowing you’re up here alone. I can’t do it, Serena. I have to be with you, even if that does mean it’s just for one night.”

  I feel the weight of him as he sits down on the bed, causing me to scramble away from him at once.

  “Don’t touch me.” I warn him, clutching the bed’s cover against my chest.

  “Look, that’s not what I meant.” He assures me, speaking calmly. “God, I… I would never do that and you know it.”

  “You came pretty damn close when you broke into my apartment.” I remind him bitterly.

  “That was me off my meds, that wasn’t the real me and you know it.”

  “I don’t know anything anymore. I don’t even know who I am.”

  “Then let me remind you.” He pleads desperately. “Just let me hold you, I swear that’s all I want.”

  “Why should I let you near me after what you’ve done?” I challenge him fiercely.

  “Because if this really is our final night together then I don’t want to spend it like this… do you?”

  I think about what he just said, weighing up the pros and cons of spending my last night with Cole like this. Do I really want this horrifying experience to be my one and only memory of us together? It doesn’t take me long to determine that the answer is no.

  “Fine.” I concede begrudgingly, allowing him to climb in beside me.

  “You’re sure?”

  “Just get in.” I snap, turning over onto my side.

  The warmth from Cole’s body as he settles underneath the covers is remarkably alluring. I can’t believe how tempted I almost am to snuggle up to him and the knowledge of this is exceedingly disconcerting.

  How can I allow myself to still feel something for him after everything he’s done to me? How can I let the man who hurt me so badly sleep beside me and not feel repulsed or angry? None of it makes any sense and if I’m being completely honest with myself, I think I’m done with trying to figure it out.

  “Is… is this ok?” He asks me, sounding timid.

  “I guess.”

  A couple of minutes pass before he speaks again, breaking out silence with a weary sigh.

  “How am I going to do it, Green? How am I going to get through every single day of my Godforsaken life without you?”

  “You’ve managed it for three years now.” I point out, staring up at the bedroom ceiling in deep contemplation. “The next few decades should be easy.”

  “You think I managed?” He says incredulously, turning over in bed so he can look at me directly.

  “Well, didn’t you?”

  “Let’s see… I woke up every morning when the alarm bell went off. I ate breakfast, went to the gym, took some classes, got into a few fights, avoided a few more, wrote in my journal which was supposed to be therapeutic, saw my therapist twice a week and took as many drugs as I could get my hands on. I spent the majority of my time in prison drugged up to the eyeballs so I didn’t have to think about anyone or anything… especially you. It’s the only way I could get through each day but I can’t live like that anymore. I know I don’t have the strength to get through a single week without you now I’m in the outside world.”

  “You seem to think I’ve had it easy when I haven’t.” I respond quietly, refusing to look at him. “You don’t know what it was like having to back to school after everything that happened or how these past three years have been without you. I’ve been crying myself to sleep for as long as I can remember and I know the sadness which lives on inside of me won’t ever leave me. I made peace with that a long time ago and it’s a price I have to pay if I choose a life which is separate from you.”

  “Wait a minute, you went back to school? The same school which made you’re life a living hell before you even met me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why the hell would you go back there? Did they force you?”

  “The police automatically thought I would go back and live with my mum but she made it clear she didn’t want anything to do with me anymore and I can’t say I was disappointed. Lisa’s family took me in and because I was in my final year, it just made sense that I go back there.”

  “I had no idea… I can’t imagine how hard that was for you.” He says sincerely, sounding sympathetic and full of remorse or what happened.

  “I got through it somehow.”

  “What did they do? Did they target you?”

  I inhale deeply, remembering every single day I had to spend at that school and all the things
which took place throughout my time there. There was no one who could protect me anymore and their cruelty had no limits.

  Some days I would open my locker and find bloody tampons had been thrown in there, another day I was followed home by a group of bitchy girls who beat me up and left me at the side of the road in tears. The worst day was when Jonathan and a few of his friends forced me to remove all my clothes before they allowed me to leave school. I knew I couldn’t walk home naked but that’s how they left me, taking several photos as evidence to add to my humiliation. In the end a teacher who had been working late found me in the school car park. I was hiding behind her vehicle and she escorted me back inside so I could wear something from the lost property cupboard.

  I consider telling Cole about some of these experiences but know it will only enrage him. However, I don’t want there to be any more lies between us and decided to be truthful with everyone in my life a long time ago.

  I take a deep breath and reveal what happened, starting with my first day back at school after his arrest and concluding with the day of my graduation. The day I finally got to walk away from that wretched place and leave everyone behind.

  “I should have been there to protect you.” Cole growls, jumping out of bed as his rage becomes too powerful for him to handle.

  “Cole, we both know that wasn’t possible.” I placate him kindly, sitting up as I watch him pace back and forth.

  “I’m so fucking sorry.” He groans, kneeling down in front of me as he takes my small hands in his. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there, I’m sorry I couldn’t take care of you the way I should have and I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through over the past couple of days.”

  “It wasn’t really you.” I remind him. “Like you said, you were off your medication.”

  “It’s no excuse.”

  “I’m not saying it is.” I chastise him, smiling weakly.

  He moistens his lips and sighs deeply, raking his fingers through his hair before he sits beside me on the bed.

  “What makes you think you don’t have the right to be happy? Why choose misery when you know that you and I could have so much more than that if we’re together?”

  “It’s illegal for us to love each other how we want to and the police would throw you right back in prison if they found out we were in a relationship.”

  “Not if they don’t know about it.” He adds, glancing up at me.

  “They would find out eventually, they’re bound to.”

  “How?”

  “I don’t know! They just would.” I wail loudly, covering my face with my hands.

  “Serena, you underestimate me. You really think I haven’t though any of this through? I might have spent three years inside but that doesn’t mean I didn’t think about our future. I always knew that we would face these problems and that’s why I came up with a solution to every single one of them before I came out.”

  “Cole, I don’t know… so much has happened. The things we’ve said and done to one another can’t be erased and I don’t know how we’re supposed to move forward from that.”

  “We’ll take it one day at a time and see how it goes.” He concludes decidedly. “We don’t need to rush into anything or even try and go back to how things used to be between us. We can start afresh and decide to forgive.”

  I consider everything he’s saying and take a deep breath, realising I have to say something before I give my consent to anything that Cole is proposing.

  “If you ever raise your hand to me again, I swear to God I will walk out that door and I won’t come back.” I threaten him, making sure he knows I’m being serious.

  “I’d rather cut my own hand off than hurt you like that. I know you might not believe me when I say that but it’s the truth. My anger is under control now that I’m on these pills and I promise you that I won’t stop taking them.”

  “God, we must be mad. This can only end in disaster…” I complain bitterly, struggling to believe I’m actually contemplating something so wrong.

  “Is… is that a yes? You’ll give us a chance?” He asks, widening his eyes in disbelief.

  “I guess so.” I murmur, fighting against my overwhelming fear.

  “You won’t regret this, I promise you.” He assures me, pulling me into a warm embrace.

  “I hope not.” I whisper, glancing out of the large window behind him.

  There’s a full moon outside, peeking through a small gap in the curtains. It reminds me that there’s still a gigantic world outside these brick walls, a world that is intent on keeping us apart. It won’t rest until it succeeds and I don’t know if either one of us has the strength to even try and beat it…

  I guess we’re about to find out.

  The next morning I wake up to the smell of breakfast. Its incredible aroma has made its way inside the bedroom and encourages me to follow its scent all the way downstairs.

  I expect to find Cole in the kitchen frying eggs and bacon but instead come face to face with a friendly looking woman around the age of sixty-five. She beams at me as I make my way down the stairs, surprising me when she greets me warmly.

  “How are you, Serena?”

  She smiles at me politely, as though she was expecting me at any moment.

  “Erm… I’m fine.” I murmur softly, struggling to understand who this random woman might be and why she’s in Cole’s kitchen. “Who are you?”

  “I’m the housekeeper.” She answers me, carrying on with what she was doing. “I was instructed to make you some breakfast before you came downstairs.”

  “Oh, I see.” I murmur, tugging my fingers through my unruly hair. “Where is Cole?”

  “He popped out a few minutes ago but he said he wouldn’t be long. He should be back any second.”

  “And how long have you been working for him?”

  “I work for the both of you now so please feel free to let me know if you would like me to make you something else. My name is Annette and I’m here to help.”

  It takes a few moments for her announcement to sink in and I stare at her vacantly. Did she just say that she works for me?

  “Thanks but the bacon and eggs you’re making smell incredible. I’m more than happy with them.”

  “You got it.”

  I take a seat on one of the kitchen bar stools, swinging back and forth as I watch her finish off my breakfast. I’m still wearing my dressing gown from the night before and glance at the clock which is on the wall behind me. It’s still only half past nine so I have no idea where Cole might be.

  “Do… do you know who I am?” I enquire, wondering how much she knows about my complex relationship with Cole.

  “You’re my employer.” She replies, smiling pleasantly. “That’s all I need to know.”

  I’m halfway through eating when I hear the sound of the front door open. Cole strolls in a few seconds later and smiles warmly when he sees me tucking into my scrumptious food.

  “Good morning, baby. How’s your breakfast?”

  He greets me warmly, placing a kiss on the centre of my forehead before he takes a seat on the chair opposite.

  “Amazing.” I mumble, covering my mouth so I can continue eating but still answer his question.

  “That’s good.” He chuckles lightly, grinning happily. “Annette is a fantastic cook.”

  “Thank you, Sir.” Annette interjects respectfully, places a boiling hot cup of tea on the table in front of Cole.

  “Haven’t we already talked about this?” He challenges her playfully. “Please call me, Cole.”

  “I’m from the generation where you show respect to your employers, I’m not sure it’s something I’ll be able to get used to.” She adds, tightening the apron around her waist.

  “Please try.”

  “Alright then… can I get you anything, Cole?”

  I can see how uncomfortable she is addressing him on a first name basis and I can’t help but like this elderly woman who is so amiable and sweet natured.
>
  “I would love what she’s having but with fried bread if that’s ok?”

  Cole points towards my plate before opening the newspaper he had tucked under his arm. I guess I now know what he went out for so early this morning.

  “Of course. It’s coming right up.”

  “Could I have some coffee?” I whisper, glancing at Cole warily.

  “Of course you can. You don’t have to ask for anything.” He reminds me, smiling with amusement.

  I go to stand up but Cole stops me, taking hold of my wrist gently.

  “I want you to relax and take it easy this morning, Annette can get you anything you want.”

  “What would you like, Miss? Did I hear you mention coffee?” Annette turns around to face me, awaiting my instruction.

  “Um… I would love some if that’s ok with you? But I really don’t mind fixing it myself.” I add, still feeling uncomfortable with the idea of someone rushing around after me.

  “Nonsense, I’ll get that for you.”

  Cole and I eat our breakfast together but don’t do much talking until Annette has cleared up the kitchen and left the room. I hear the vacuum cleaner upstairs a few minutes later and figure she must take care of the housework as well as all the cooking and cleaning.

  “What do you think of Annette?” He asks, closing his newspaper so he can give me his undivided attention.

  “She’s really nice.” I say, speaking the truth. “I like her a lot.”

  “That’s why I employed her in the first place, I hoped you two would get on.”

  “Any more household staff I should know about?” I joke, softly touching the tender spot on my cheek which still feels sore from the blow Cole gave me a few days before.

  His expression changes, switching suddenly. He turns away as though he can’t bring himself to look and walks over to the window which looks out onto the back of the house. The view is exquisite and I join him, placing my hand on his shoulder.

  “I hate myself for what I did.” He murmurs softly, staring out the window.

  “I know that now.” I soothe him, stroking his arm gently.

  He turns to face me, taking hold of my face in his hands so he can get a good look at my bruised cheekbone.