Monster

by Yolanda Olson

  “I can walk, you know,” she said kicking her feet to be set down.

  “Sorry. Boss’s orders,” he said closing the door tightly behind us.

  “Did he send you out here to watch me?” she asked settling herself onto a chair in the living room area. She crossed her legs over the side of it and pouted.

  “Nah. Not really. He sent me out here when he realized that one over there was going after Phoebe,” he said glancing at me. “He figured you might get yourself into a tight spot so he wanted me here in case she needed to be overwhelmed.”

  “Makes sense,” I said stretching out on the floor.

  “Yeah you’re hotheaded ways are legendary with us already,” he said turning a chair around and straddling it backwards. Leaning his head on the rest he looked over at Charlie again.

  “What happened to you, by the way?”

  “Oh. I tripped and fell down a mountain. We were hiking and I thought I could outrace her,” she said shrugging.

  Drake chuckled and shook his head. No one said anything. In the silence, I felt myself becoming sleepy. I yawned widely and closed my eyes. I felt the faux death coming for me quickly and I wasn’t going to fight it. Though I didn’t know why I had becoming so tired lately, I wasn’t complaining. It was nice to be able to fall asleep so randomly. In the world half way between consciousness and oblivion I could hear Drake and Charlie talking quietly with each other. I caught words here and there but I couldn’t make out what they were talking about. Yawning again, I rolled over onto my side and fell into the dark world of nothingness.

  I had another dream that night. But it wasn’t a full dream. It was bits and pieces of flashing faces and scenes. I saw Billie and the look she gave me before jumping down the side of the mountain with Phoebe. I saw Cody looking at me with that boyish grin that always made me smile and that I missed dearly. I saw Paige with her evil new eyes staring at me vacantly. I saw Ava’s burnt face snarling at me. I saw Kendall happily walking through the Marble Quarry talking to a silhouette next to her that I knew was me. I saw Charlie skipping through a wilderness full of black and blue flowers I had never seen before. I saw Remy at the gypsy camp with her bullwhip, snapping it at the trees and taking off branches with the flick of a wrist. I saw Kaeden, sitting quietly in a room reading a book. I saw Skiles standing there with his arms crossed giving me a triumphant look. Skiles was the one that lingered the longest almost as if to challenge me in my subconscious. Then out of nowhere his demeanor changed and he leapt at me, jarring me out of my sleep.

  I sat straight up with a gasp. In my sleep I had broken into a violent sweat and felt my clothes clinging to my body like they were molded to me. I pulled at the shirt and got to my feet swiftly. I ran over to the door and I yanked it off its hinges. I needed the cold night air to calm me down. From behind me I heard Charlie and Drake’s footsteps as they ran down the hall to see what had caused the door to be ripped off.

  “Are you okay,” Charlie asked putting an arm on my shoulder.

  I only nodded as I tried to calm myself down. My rapid breathing was slowing but I was still finding it difficult to breathe. I felt a cool damp cloth on the back of my neck and turned slightly to see Drake holding it in place for me with a worried look on his face.

  “I’m fine, I’m fine,” I said angrier than I meant too. “Sorry guys,” I said turning to face them, “I had a bad dream.”

  Charlie and Drake looked at each other in shock then back at me. I guess that even they knew that monsters aren’t supposed to dream.

  “Are you sure it was a ... dream?” Drake asked.

  “Yes. I’ve only had one before this one like I am now, and I still remember what they were like when I was alive. It was definitely a dream,” I said sharply. In a way it felt like he didn’t believe me.

  I felt myself soften when I saw the stung look on his face. I had to be realistic; if he had told me that he had a dream, I probably wouldn’t have believed him either. I smiled faintly at him and he grinned then came over and sat on the banister next to me.

  “Does Kaeden know that you’ve been dreaming,” Charlie asked curiously.

  “Yeah. The only other one that I had I told him about. But that one was different. Nothing like this one. At all.” I shuddered when I remembered waking up to the blood dripping from my scar.

  “So listen guys. Kaeden wants me to bring you both back to Devils Lake,” Drake said changing the subject.

  “What? No. I don’t want to go back. Not yet. It’s too soon,” I said incredulously.

  “Finn, you have too. Like it or not, Devils Lake is your home. Home can be a painful place to be sometimes, but you have to remember the good to outweigh the bad,” he said putting a hand on my shoulder.

  “’Home is where the heart is; is that the saying? Well I don’t have a heart; any traces of anything left in me that was human died with Cody,” I retorted bitterly, my lower lip trembling.

  “Look kid,” he said putting his arm around my shoulder, “I know that it hurts. I know; what would I know? I’m a vampire. Well a couple of days after I got turned, my grandfather died. We were really close and I would go see him in the hospital every day. Visiting hours don’t include the sun shy family members, so I would have to sneak in to see him at night, you know? Hide in the shadows of the room. The night that I didn’t get there fast enough was the night he died. He was all alone in that room when he went. You want to know why I wasn’t there. Because the animal inside of me was hungry. It overpowered my human emotions and I didn’t get to be with him when he passed because of it. I couldn’t even sit with my family at the wake or the burial. I heard some of them whispering about how I didn’t care and had abandoned him. After the funeral I told myself that no matter what I would try to save some piece of humanity that was left inside of me. So trust me, I may not know your specific loss, but I know loss.”

  I wiped a tear from my eye. I felt horrible for Drake to lose someone he loved so much and to still wear a happy face around everyone. After Cody, I lost all resolve to be kind to anyone. Billie tricked me; Brian was just an experiment. Charlie – I let my eyes wander over to her. So far out of the people I had met in the past couple of days, she made me feel the most comfortable. I don’t know if it was because she wasn’t a complete monster or because she was so kind and carefree, but I knew I didn’t have to watch my back around her. When she noticed that we were looking at her, she blushed and giggled nervously.

  “Sorry! I feel like a total clod standing here but I wasn’t sure if I should leave or not.”

  “Depends,” I said giving a hollow laugh, “Do you have a tale of woe too?”

  “Nope! Life’s been a bowl of cherries for me,” she said stretching. “A walk in the clouds really. Piece of pie! Amazingly easy!” I glared at her. There was no way she was making either of us feel better.

  “Of course that was after I learned to control my ‘morphing’. Before the self control, I attacked and killed my family,” she said scratching her chin. Then she looked at me and winked.

  “Morphing?” Drake asked.

  “Yeah from what I hear I lost it and pretty much became as wild and hungry as one of those big jungle cats,” she said with a straight face.

  I snickered and Drake looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

  “Anyway, so mine isn’t a true story, I just thought I’d share something. I’m not a ‘woe is me’ kind of gal. I don’t like pity so I don’t talk about myself much. But that Kaeden sure does like to pry for information like it fuels him or something,” she said shaking her head.

  “He does!” Drake and I said at the same time. Then the three of us looked at each other and burst into laughter.

  “You know what I want to know,” I said looking at the two of them conspiratorially. “Can he or can’t he read minds?”

  Drake looked down at me with a surprised look on his face, “You too, huh?

  That drives me nuts! Sometimes I’ll be talking to him and he’ll answer something t
hat’s floating around in my head, but when I ask him if reads minds, he doesn’t answer me. He always dodges the question!”

  Charlie seemed to be lost in thought for a few minutes. “To tell you the truth, I don’t think it’s that he can read minds. If he could, he’d be this all powerful vampire that could take down anyone with his or her own thoughts. He’s too reserved for that, and if he can he sure is keeping that a secret. No. I’m not sure what it is he can do but I really don’t think it’s that.”

  “It bothered me at first, when I would ask him about it and he would segue into something else or act like he didn’t hear me. Now the way I think about it is that we all have our secrets and our quirks. If he wants to share with us, then he will.”

  “Hey, you’re the one that brought it up,” Drake said playfully punching my arm.

  “I know. I guess it does bother me more than I let on, but I mean that secret is his to keep. After all he’s helped all of us in one way or another.”

  They both nodded their heads in agreement. The three of us stood there silently while I turned and looked up at the sky.

  “Drake. I need you to do something for me.”

  “Shoot kid.”

  “Go home and take Charlie with you. Talk to Kaeden for me; tell him that I’m not ready to go back yet. I still need some time to myself and now Billie is helping Phoebe, I don’t want anyone else getting hurt.”

  “Finn ...”

  “Please Drake?” I asked cutting him off. He looked like he was going to protest again and I continued, “I’ll come back to Devils Lake. I promise; just not right now. Don’t forget; I have a little problem I have to take care of there anyway,” I said with a grin.

  He let out a guffaw and Charlie looked at us both curiously, “I’ll explain on the way back. Let’s boogie before Kaeden comes looking for us,” he said to her.

  She nodded then came over and gave me a tight hug. I pulled back and smiled at her, then I was engulfed by Drake who did the same. I looked up at him and grinned. Then I stood in the window watching as they both walked out of the house and hopped into Ken’s car. I laughed to myself when I saw Drake somehow get the keys out of Charlie’s pocket without her knowing and run over to the driver’s side door. Once they were both seated in the car and Drake started it, Charlie turned and looked at me sadly through the window. I gave her a thumbs up to let her know that I would be fine, and she nodded then turned to look straight out the window.

  If I didn’t know any better, I could’ve sworn I saw her wipe a tear off of her cheek.

  Guess she wasn’t as tough as she liked to let on.

  I heard the engine roar to life and smiled as Drake did donuts in the front of the house, then the car was off like a shot down the highway, heading back to North Dakota. I sighed. It was nice to be alone again; that’s how I had started this life, but at the same time since I had made so many new friends it was hurtful. I had to remind myself that I was going to be able to use this time to meditate and to train myself. That fight was coming soon, and I had a few spares to take care of on the way there. And what could’ve been the greatest love I ever had to mourn.

  Sitting on the floor, I crossed my legs under myself and closed my eyes.

  13. Resurrection

  (Day 16)

  I let my breath out and concentrated on keeping calm. I hadn’t moved from this spot since my friends left and I wasn’t planning on moving until I reached some kind of undead nirvana. My leg started to twitch under me, but I refused to let it get to me. I knew that what I really wanted to do was stand up and walk around but I couldn’t. I hadn’t gotten there yet.

  I let out another breath only this time it was more impatient. This wasn’t going to work and I knew it. Good thing I’m stubborn.

  Clearing my throat, I kept my eyes closed and shifted a little. This time I touched the tip of my forefingers to the tips of my thumbs like I had seen in Eastern art pieces. Maybe if I envisioned myself on a lotus flower this would get easier.

  Cracking my neck, I sat there. And I sat there, and I sat there, and I sat there. I decided that since nothing was happening that maybe I should take a series of deep breaths and see what would come of that. So I filled my lungs as much as I could, then I very slowly let the air out.

  Almost instantly I felt a little different. Just more relaxed. Thinking that there might be something to the simple breathing technique, I did it again.

  Ahhhh, I thought to myself. It felt so weird but it was working. I felt my body relaxing to a point I had never felt before. It was so serene, it was so sublime, it was so – Crash!

  Jumping to my feet I looked around the room my heart beating erratically.

  Something had just made a loud bang in the house and I wasn't sure what direction it had come from. From the upstairs hall I heard something that sounded like it was rolling across the floor. Cautiously, I got up and found the staircase leading up and made me way to investigate. Whatever was rolling down the hall landed with a dull thud against one of the walls. Quietly when I reached the top stair, I peeked around the corner and waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. I reached out a hand and started to feel around the wall blindly for a light switch. Finally my fingers grazed against one, and I flipped it up. My bare feet made small thumping noises as I quickly walked down the hall looking into each room to see if anything looked unusual. Not that I would know really because I hadn't been upstairs yet. I pushed each of the doors open carefully. Lucky for me it only looked like there were five doors to open and go through. When I neared the fifth door at the end of the hallway, a clap of lighting roared and the lights flickered, then died. I rolled my eyes and walked toward the door. For some reason the weather could be so dramatic. As I reached for the doorknob, a flash of lighting lit up the house briefly casting shadows everywhere. It was a little creepy, but whatever crashed through the upstairs room completely disrupted my peaceful moment. Gripping the doorknob tightly, I turned it then shoved the door open violently.

  I looked around the room and waited for a flash of lighting to light up the room. I counted to about twenty when the lightning flashed again and I looked as rapidly as I could around the room trying to see what it was that had crashed through the room. On the first flash, I saw nothing. I stood there and mentally counted again. This time I only had to count to fifteen before the lightning flashed again which allowed me to view the other part of the room, I hadn't been able to see. I almost fainted with relief when I saw that it had been a soccer ball. Picking it up, I walked over to the back window and leaned out. Below me I saw a group of small children; most of whom were apologizing for blowing out the window. I waved at them and tossed the ball back down.

  Leaning down I started to feel around on the floor of the room to see if there was something I could use to cover the busted window with, when I heard a knock on the door downstairs. Sighing, I wandered down the dark hallway and toward the staircase. When I reached the banister I used one foot to feel for the top stair. It was still dark and I didn’t want to do a tumbling routine down the stairs. As I made my way slowly down the dark steps the knock at the door came again only this time more insistent.

  “Coming!” I shouted. “No need to knock down the door,” I mumbled to myself.

  On the front steps I heard the scurrying of footsteps and muffled laughter.

  Great; just what I need some kind of pranksters running amuck. Finally at the bottom of the staircase I marched across the small hallway to the door and yanked it open.

  “Hi,” said the small voice.

  I had to smile. It was the kid I had thrown the soccer ball to. He was standing there holding the ball protectively in front of himself and looking up at me with wide eyes. When the lightning flashed and illuminated the room behind me, we locked eyes and he gasped. I could only imagine what I looked like against the backdrop. A burned face and eyes like he’s never seen before coupled with the palest skin on a living creature.

  “Nevermind,” he said running towar
d the back of the house. One of the kids in the group started to laugh loudly and came over to me.

  “He’s such a chicken,” she said adjusting her ponytail. “I’m Jazz. We wanted to know if you wanted to kick a few balls with us.”

  I looked at the little girl taking her in. She was about twelve years old and already seemed like a star athlete. She was wearing a red and blue striped Rugby shirt and blue soccer shorts. As a matter of fact, two other kids were wearing the same thing and the other three, as well as the little boy that had run away, were wearing white and black striped Rugby shirts and black soccer shorts. I stepped out onto the front steps and pointed at the sky. “How is it that you can see where the ball goes in the dark? And doesn’t the mud mess with you’re running?”

  “Simple,” she said rubbing her hands together. “We figure that if we can play at night time and still keep track of the ball, then nothing can stop us in the day time! And as for the mud, it’s not that hard to run through once you get used to it.”

  Leaning against the railing I laughed and crossed my arms over my chest. She looked at my burn curiously and then back up at me.

  “I like your tattoos,” she said.

  “Thanks kid. So listen, I’d love to play with you guys, but I really don’t have the right team colors, not to mention shoes for the game,” I said wiggling my toes at her.

  “Oh puh-leese!” she said waving her hand and rolling her eyes. “We’ve got an extra uniform that you can wear. I don’t know about cleats because we don’t know your shoe size, but if you play barefoot you’ll be numb in no time anyway.”

  I opened my mouth to protest, but the five of them had already taken off down the side of the house. I sat on the stairs and let the rain pelt me while I waited for them to come back. I could hear their laughter as they ran back with a big green duffel bag. Jazz climbed the stairs and stood behind me on the small front porch and unzipped the bag. I grinned when I saw that she had pulled out a child sized Rugby shirt in her team colors and soccer pants to hand to me. Standing up I held the shirt up to myself and saw that it would only cover half of my stomach.