Simple Beginnings

by Janelle Stalder

  “You’re an idiot,” Cam muttered, grabbing a beer. He walked off, joining a couple of guys from his year. It didn’t take long for two girls to appear on either side of him. Looked like my brother was going to get his wish after all. I just hoped it wasn’t going to be in my truck. I’d found enough panties that weren’t from me in there to last me a lifetime.

  Jake passed me a can, turning to stand beside me. “How was work on the farm today?” he asked conversationally. It was the kind of tone that instantly told me he was up to something, but I played along.

  “Long,” I answered honestly.

  He grunted. I didn’t know what that was supposed to mean. I had a feeling I’d either just passed or failed his test, I just couldn’t tell which. He leaned in closer, lowering his voice. “Ferris wheel.”

  I turned to look at him, confused. He met my stare with a blank one, but his eyes bore into mine like he was trying to tell me something important. Ferris wheel? What the hell did that mean?

  “Trust me, my man. Ferris wheel.”

  My best friend was nothing if not weird. What few people knew was, he was also damn smart. And if he wanted me to go to the Ferris wheel there was probably a good reason why. I decided not to ask questions, handing him back the unopened can, and calling out a quick goodbye to everyone before walking toward the fair. This should be interesting, I thought.

  Well damn. I stood to the side, watching them as they stood in the long line for the Ferris wheel. There was always a long line for it. Everyone, especially couples, went straight to the wheel. It had always been Ella’s favourite. I don’t know why I didn’t remember that sooner. Even Jake had, which pissed me off for some reason.

  “Where to first?” I asked, even though I knew what she’d say.

  “The Ferris wheel!” she said, jumping as she walked. “Definitely the Ferris wheel!”

  “You kids make sure you stick together,” mom called out.

  “We will,” I assured her.

  “Like they’d do any differently,” Cam said with a snicker. “Gage and Ella sitting in a tree, k-i-s – ow!”

  “Cut it out, Cam,” Chris said, smacking him a second time on the back of his head.

  “Mom!”

  “Chris don’t hit your brother,” she said, not even looking to see what happened.

  Chris gave Cam a disgusted look. “Tattler,” he whispered. “What ten year old still tells on his brothers to his mommy?”

  “This ten year old,” Cam said proudly. He’d never been one to care what anyone thought of him, least of all his brothers.

  I grabbed Ella’s hand and started toward the long line to the Ferris wheel, leaving my family behind. “Why do we always have to go here first?” I asked as we joined the others waiting.

  “Because it’s the closest I’ll ever get to the stars,” she answered, tipping her face back to look up at the sparkling sky. I looked up too, wondering what the big deal was to be close to the stars, but when I looked back at her and saw the wonder in her eyes, I knew for some reason it mattered to her. And if it mattered to Ella, it mattered to me. I’d go on the Ferris wheel a thousand times if that’s what she wanted.

  That had been one of the first moments when I’d known I was completely lost to that girl, even back then. As I watched her laugh and talk with Jaiden, I couldn’t deny that the same feeling I’d had when I was eight was still there. She had that same excitement as she did when she was younger. The only problem was, I wasn’t the one with her in line when I should have been.

  At least standing to the side let me take her in without her noticing. And take her in I did. Right from the thin straps holding up the most appealing little dress I’d ever seen on a girl, right down to the scuffed up cowboy boots that had me wishing I could see her in nothing but. We’d skated around one another enough today, it was time I got her alone and forced her to talk to me. I didn’t know why she no longer wanted to be friends, but damn it, I was going to find out.

  Maybe she was just a different person now. It’s not like that possibility hadn’t occurred to me. People did change from the time they were nine. There was just something about that option though that didn’t stick for me. I knew Ella Page better than I knew anyone else. I knew her better than any of her friends probably did, even her best ones. I knew the real Ella Page, not the girl that always put on a smile for everyone around.

  And even though we hadn’t been friends for the past ten years, I was pretty certain she probably still did that. She was probably the one who always acted excited, always had a smile on her face, was always the one pushing others to be happy and have fun. Because that was Ella. I didn’t need to see her every day to know that. Ella didn’t like it when those she cared about were sad so she did everything in her power to make sure she changed it.

  Except no one was positive all the time. Ella liked to show people only one side of her, but she’d never been like that with me. When we were alone together, we could just be ourselves. I missed that the most about her. There was no one in my life, even my brothers, who made me feel like I didn’t have to put on a front, the way that Ella did. I needed that back in my life. If I had to ignore how much she drew me in and force myself just to be friends with her again then so be it.

  I could do that. I could go back to just being friends and ignore how she made my chest tighten and my stomach roll. The way my heart beat a bit faster when I was looking at her and my palms itched to just grab hold of her. I’d had similar feelings for her when we were younger, although much more innocent than they were now, but I’d still managed to keep our relationship strictly platonic. If I did it once, I could do it again. Now I just needed to get her to at least agree to be friends, and to do that I had to get her one-on-one.

  Easier said than done when she did all she could to avoid me. I watched as her and Jaiden got closer to the front of the line and an ingenious idea struck. A sly smile stretched across my face while I kept her in my sight, moving slowly through the crowd toward her. There was one place she couldn’t run from me, and I was going to use it to my advantage. I just hoped I could keep myself from doing something stupid and keep my hands to myself.

  My eyes met Jaiden’s when she happened to look over in my direction. Her brows flew up in surprise, probably from the determined expression on my face. I placed my finger against my lips, praying she’d understand and not alert Ella to my presence. She hesitated, but when she turned back to continue whatever conversation they were having, I had a pretty good feeling she didn’t say anything.

  Ella’s back remained turned to me as they finally reached the gate, handing their tickets over to the worker standing there. I made my way toward the front of the crowd, excusing myself along the way. No one said anything, other than to call out a hello once in a while. If I’d been anywhere else, I’m sure I’d have gotten my ass kicked for butting in line, but no one questioned me. Most people looked the other way for the Hunter boys.

  I reached Jaiden just as she handed over her ticket, Ella already climbing into the passenger car. Jaiden let out a breath as I stepped around her.

  “I hope you know what you’re doing,” she said quietly.

  I threw her a grin as I made my way past the gate. “Don’t I always?”

  Seven

  Ella

  I loved the sky in the country. It never got old. The wind whipped by, the car swinging gently as Jaiden climbed in. I kept my eyes on the stars, knowing soon I’d be closer, high above the rest of the fair where I could just stare at them and get lost. It was one of the reasons why I loved the Ferris wheel so much.

  “This was always my favourite ride,” I said as the ride moved so the next car could be filled.

  “I know,” said an unexpected voice.

  My head snapped down so fast I was probably going to feel it in my neck tomorrow.

  Gage smiled at me, his usual confidence betrayed by the nervous look in his chocolate eyes. “It’s the closest you’ll ever get to the stars.” His smile
slipped a little, making it look sadder than before. “I remember.”

  My chest hurt and I found it difficult to breathe for a second. “Gage Earl Hunter, what are you doing on here?” I said, forcing my voice to sound stronger than it felt.

  “Hey now,” he said with a small laugh. “No bringing out the dreaded middle name, you know how I feel about that.”

  I looked around frantically, spotting Jaiden down on the ground gazing up at us nervously. How in the world? We started to move even further up, making any escape impossible. My hands gripped the bar so hard, my knuckles were changing to a scary shade of white.

  “Seriously, what are you doing here?” I said, unable to even look at him. Being this close was not good. I could smell him, and he smelled – amazing. The white collared shirt he wore showed off his tan, especially where the long sleeves had been rolled up to just under his elbows. Even that little bit of arm was obviously fit and muscular. Was there any inch of this boy that wasn’t perfection? God, it made me so mad!

  I chanced a quick glance and knew I should have listened to myself, quickly looking back away into the darkened night. The light waves of his hair had fallen forward over his forehead, framing his face in a way that made butterflies take off in the pit of my stomach.

  “Well, I figured if I was going to get you alone, this was my best option.”

  I looked back to see him grinning at me. He was trying to look casual and at ease, but it didn’t fool me. He never did. I could see how nervous he was from the tightness around his eyes. He knew he risked pissing me off, and he didn’t want that. My eyes narrowed.

  “Why are you trying to get me alone?”

  He laughed like that was the dumbest question he’d ever heard, raking a hand through his hair, making it look – if possible – even better than it had before. “Geez, Ella, why wouldn’t I? I mean, seriously, we were best friends. It’s perfectly normal for me to want to catch up with you after all these years.”

  I folded my arms across my chest as we slowly circled to the top of the ride. The air was much colder up here, and I suddenly wished I had brought a sweater or something. “Were best friends, Gage. Were. Things change.”

  His lips pressed into a firm line like they always did when he was getting angry.

  “They don’t have to change, Ella. Just because we’re older now doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends.”

  An incredulous laugh escaped me before I could stop it. Friends. He just wanted to be friends? Mr. Popularity, who just had to look at a girl to have her practically running to him, according to Jaiden, just wanted to be friends with me. Wow. I wasn’t sure if I should be insulted or relieved. The former was winning for some reason.

  “You came on here to get me alone so we could become friends again?” I asked, making sure I understood him correctly.

  He looked slightly offended. Good, I thought. That makes two of us. “Of course that’s why. Why else would I want to talk to you? I just figured …” He looked away as he trailed off giving me a chance to really look at his face without having his eyes on me. He really had only managed to grow more attractive over the years. Damn him. He’d been cute even at the age of four, but now he was just downright handsome.

  I could still remember how all the girls in our elementary school would come up to me to ask questions about him. Everyone had a crush on Gage, or his older brothers. The Hunters had some good genes, I’d give them that much. The girls would ask me endless things about all three of them since I was close to the family. For some reason it never bothered me when it came to Cam or Chris, but when it was about Gage I’d always get a little shorter with my answers.

  And when Gage would talk about another girl …that was never fun. I wondered if he had felt the same way when I’d talked about another boy. Probably not, I decided. Just being friends again with Gage Hunter was going to be a challenge. I wasn’t sure why he even cared enough to make the suggestion, but if we had to work with each other all summer, maybe I needed to give the friends idea a try.

  Gage turned to look back at me suddenly, catching my stare. I wanted to look away, but his eyes held me. I would have been stuck there even if we weren’t high above the ground.

  “I’ve missed you, Ells,” he said. “I just want us to be friends again, like old times.”

  Like old times. Back when I could look at him and just see my best friend, and not a boy who made my heart race. Yeah, I could do that again, I decided. I mean, how hard could it be?

  There was a monster in my room. A horrible beast that was burning the backs of my eyelids. A loud, pained groan filled the air around me as I tried to hide from it. I knew this monster well and it’s evil ways. It went by one name, and that name was – the sun.

  “Good grief, girl, get up,” Nan yelled from the hall. “Stop all your moaning and groaning.”

  I let out another loud, drawn out one just for good measure. Most people would probably describe me as upbeat and happy, but they obviously never saw me in the morning. I couldn’t imagine anyone being in a good mood in the morning.

  Lying in the bed for my customary fifteen minutes (a must before actually pulling one’s self out), I stared up at the ceiling, my thoughts instantly going to the one thing that seemed to be occupying them a lot lately. Gage. I’d always been a boy-crazy kind of girl, in the sense that I loved to crush on them and talk about them. But I had never obsessively thought about one boy the way I’d been doing with him.

  It was probably because I’d gone so long without thinking about him – or, at least trying not to. After that party in grade nine, I had made a pact with myself never to think about Gage Hunter again. The only times I slipped was when I talked to Jaiden and had to hear her stories. That was one of the reasons I had made our phone calls few and far between. I had never brought him up to Olivia, never even mentioned his name.

  Before that party, I had always just kept Gage to myself. I don’t know why. Olivia is my best friend in the whole world, and yet I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her about the boy I grew up with. It wasn’t like I thought she would go off and try to find him, stealing him away from me. That was just ridiculous. Olivia wasn’t the type, and besides, as soon as Colt Morgan moved in beside her all other boys were completely invisible to the girl.

  Gage was just something that had belonged to me, and for some reason I had liked to keep it that way. After a while, I’d just sort of forgot about him. Well, not forgot, but didn’t think about him as often as I started to like the boys at my new school. It wasn’t until that fateful night in grade nine, as my stomach had flipped and rolled at the thought of seeing him, that I realized I still had some complicated feelings for my old friend.

  Of course those feelings were obliterated as soon as I saw he was just like all the other boys. Everything I had built up in my head about how great he was, how different, all that was just the imagination of a young girl. Boys that looked like Gage always ended up being popular with the ladies. And it wasn’t like I could really blame him for taking advantage of that. He was male and young, it was bound to happen. I just didn’t want that for myself, that’s all.

  If we really were going to try to be friends again, I was still going to have to keep my distance. It was just too easy to get taken in by him. Whatever walls and defences I had managed to build when it came to the Hunter boys had to remain strong. I would be civil to him, and perhaps not be so obvious about avoiding him around the farm, but I certainly wasn’t going to go out of my way to spend any more time with him than I needed to.

  Self-preservation, I told myself. That was the key to surviving this summer. If I could get through the next couple of months, I’d be fine. Then I could leave for college and find the kind of man I needed in my life. The kind that respected women and that I could trust. Someone who didn’t fly through girls, using them as he saw fit, and then dumping them like yesterday’s news. I would not be another name on a list.

  “Ooof,” I gasped as something landed righ
t in the middle of my stomach. I looked over to the open doorway in shock as Nan stood there with her hands on her hips. “Did you seriously just throw a shoe at me?” I asked, looking down at the crock now lying on top of me.

  “Darn right I did,” she said simply. “Get up outta that bed or I’m coming in and dragging you out.”

  I held up both hands in surrender. “No need,” I assured her. “I’m getting up now, I swear.”

  Why did milk have to weigh so much? Nan had managed to milk the cows while I ate breakfast, and then told me it was my job to load the containers into the back of her pick-up. She didn’t fill them up all the way, since I wasn’t the strongest, but even half-filled like this they weighed a ton.

  It didn’t help that I was completely distracted by last night’s events. I hadn’t seen Gage yet this morning, and for some reason that was making me more nervous than when I did see him. After we’d agreed to be friends on the Ferris wheel, the rest of the ride had been spent in an almost unbearable awkward silence. Just because we had agreed to be friends didn’t mean I felt like I could just fall right into our old roles and start asking him questions as though ten years hadn’t been missing between us.

  As soon as the ride ended I had hopped out like the thing was on fire. I don’t think I’d ever been so happy to be off a Ferris wheel in my life, and that was saying something. Jaiden had been standing just outside the exit gate, wringing her hands nervously in front of her as we approached. I could read the apology in her eyes before she even had to say anything.

  Gage ended up saying bye and heading off to meet with Jake and some others, thankfully leaving us alone. I’d been slightly afraid he was going to try and hang out the entire time we were at the fair. As soon as he was a safe distance away I’d felt like I could breathe normally again. We didn’t talk again the entire night, but I’d caught glimpses of him here and there throughout the night, and every time our eyes would meet as though drawn to each other.