I frown. I know Dad must need to work off all of the things that the casino has comped him, too. But with Mom being in the hospital… I think about the changes of clothes and toiletries Dad is having me bring to the hospital right now. I hope he doesn’t completely get in a bind because of this.
I feel bad even thinking it, and I know I have no place to ask my Dad if he’s even thought of that. Not now. Not when Mom’s “not out of the woods yet.” The casino will have to understand given the situation, right? I sip my coffee and stare outside at the Strip. It’s relatively dead right now compared to peak hours, but this city is always awake, always working.
Connor turns in the visitor lot of the hospital like he’s going to park, and I touch his arm.
“Hey, you don’t have to come in with me if you don’t want. You put a lot of time in yesterday.”
His jaw tightens, and he’s silent as he pulls into the first open spot. I stare off into the distance at the hospital. Maybe I’m feeling wimpy and tired, but geez. Could he possibly have parked any farther?
I’m about to make a quip to that effect, but when I face him, he looks annoyed.
“So we’re clear, I’m not putting in time with you. I do things because I want to do them, and I’m here because I want to be.” He tone is definitely irritated, but then his expression softens. “Unless you’re telling me that because you’d rather me not come, then say the word. I promise I won’t be offended.”
I like that he said that, that he called me out and spoke his mind. He once asked me how I did the same thing, but he’s not so bad at it, either. I’m glad that he finally figured it out. And I’m glad that he wants to be here with me, because he’s been pretty great – comforting me, distracting me, keeping me from stressing out too much.
“Oh, by the way...” He reaches behind my seat and produces a bouquet of flowers. “I picked these up for you. For your mom.”
My jaw drops as he sets the arrangement in my lap. It’s an assortment of pink and purple blooms including some pink orchids like in the high roller room. Absolutely gorgeous. No idea when he would have had time to do this, considering he was at the hospital all afternoon and then with me until late last night.
“Connor. They’re beautiful. Thank you so much. How...” I stop, swallowing the lump in my throat. First the choice of coffee and now this. I’m officially a melty mess.
“I know someone who works at a floral shop.” He shrugs. “I called in a small favor.”
I beam at him, my eyes feeling teary. My God, what is the matter with me? I’m not used to riding this kind of emotional roller coaster, but that’s what this whole week has felt like.
He cocks an eyebrow. “You laughing at me again? Or crying? I can’t tell.”
“Not crying. And laugh at you? Nope...” I sigh as I get a bona fide case of the warm fuzzies. I know I’d be a nervous wreck if I had to be here by myself right now. “You really are Prince Charming. That gruff thing you do is all an act, isn’t it?”
He shakes his head at me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re crazy, you know that?”
I smooth my hair back and smile. “Yes. Yes, I am.” I put my hand on the door handle. “You coming with me, or did you park all the way out here so I could get my exercise?”
“Crazy,” he mutters as he gets out of the car, but I can see his dimples.
Dad is waiting for me outside Mom’s room, and I’m worried all over again as soon as I see him. He had sounded dead tired on the phone, and I can tell by the dark circles under his eyes that he probably didn’t get any sleep. And this is for a guy who normally stays up late playing.
I immediately feel bad, wondering if I should have insisted on hanging out at the hospital last night. The nurses had said only one of us could stay in Mom’s room, but I could have crashed in the waiting area, where Connor’s stationed right now.
“How’s Mom?” I ask, peering at him. “And how are you?”
“Neither of us got too much sleep. They were in throughout the night taking blood and adjusting her IV drip. She says she’s feeling okay, but you know your mother. She has a hard time admitting it if she isn’t.” He frowns. “The nurses have already given her a couple of reminders about how she needs to communicate everything she’s feeling.”
Sounds like Mom. I stare down at the bag I’d packed for him. “I take it you’ll be staying the night again?”
He nods. “I may go back and forth during the day, but I’ll be staying nights here until she’s discharged, if they’ll let me. Your mother wants me here.” His forehead is still creased as he directs his concern to me. “What about you? Are you all right?”
“Yes, I slept over at Elle’s last night,” I admit. “And my friend drove me here this morning. Did they give you an idea of when she might be discharged?”
“Not sure. She’ll be on bed rest for a while so they can monitor her. Depending on how things go, they could decide to release her and treat her as an outpatient, but either way, she’s going to need time to heal.”
I can almost feel the stress flowing off of him in waves. I wish so badly that there was something more I could do.
“Dad, you need to take care of yourself, too. What can I do for you?”
He puts his arm around me, rubs my back. “Me? Nothing. But go and say good morning to your mother. Make her happy.”
I walk into her room after giving him the hug of a lifetime.
Mom’s eyes are closed, and I fight back my tears when I see how pale she is. Her hair is lank, and the dark shadows under her eyes combined with the horrible fluorescent lighting make her cheeks look sallow and sunken in.
I set down Dad’s bag inside the door and Connor’s bouquet on the counter, when she opens her eyes.
“Morning, baby girl.” She gives me a wan smile.
“Hi, Mom.” I think about what Dad and I both know, that she’s good at hiding her pain. She’s so incredibly strong, and I have to be the same for her right now. No matter how scared I am.
I perch on the edge of the armchair that’s already pulled up beside the bed and reach over and take her hand. She squeezes it. “I’m being taken care of by all of these lovely nurses, and I keep thinking about how wonderful you’re going to be once you get your certification.”
“Aw, Mom...” The tears finally start to flow, and I wipe them away with my free hand. “I have to get through nursing school first. But I’m glad they’re being good to you.” I can totally see how my mom would have charmed the staff in no time flat.
“They are, despite having to poke and prod me with those terrible needles all of the time. And the extra tests on top of that. Why your father agreed to those, I’ll never understand.”
“Dad told the doctor about grandad,” I say softly.
Her breath catches before she briefly closes her eyes. When she opens them again, they shine with unshed tears. “Yes, well... I suppose that’s what they’re doing, seeing if it’s something that’s in the family.” She takes her hand from mine and places it on my shoulder, only a small shake belying her nerves. “I don’t want you to worry about any of this, Alexis. I knew I wasn’t feeling quite like myself right after we got here. I was worried, but I thought it was the change in humidity, elevation, something that would go away. But I was daft to keep it from you and your father. My leg was hurting for a while, and…” She sighs. “…quite frankly, I made up what I said about running into something so you wouldn’t worry. I promise to keep both of you in the loop from now on.”
I can tell she’s beating herself up over it, like I had been all day yesterday. We are so much alike, my mom and I.
“I wish I could make everything all better for you, Mom.”
“I wish I hadn’t ruined everybody’s holiday.” She sighs, and her whole body seems to sink a bit more into the hospital bed.
“Stop. You didn’t ruin anything,” I say. “If it was going to happen, I’m glad it happened when you weren’t alone.” I shudder, thinking
about how things might have gone down if she’d been home, with Dad at work and me living in my own place.
“Yes, I suppose so,” Mom says thoughtfully. She closes her eyes again, and this time she keeps them shut. She says so quietly that I have to strain to hear, “This may be horrible of me to think, but I’m glad that your father has had to take a break from all of the gambling.” Her lips twitch, her eyes still closed. “Though I do wish it had been because of a different reason.”
“That’s not a horrible thing to think.” I ask her the same thing that I asked my dad. “What can I do for you, Mom?”
“Oh, I honestly can’t think of anything. Come for another visit later today?”
“That’s a given. But seriously, there’s nothing I can do?”
“You can tell me about Connor,” she murmurs. “Have you seen him lately?”
“Yes...” I think about how Connor told me stories last night as we were lying together and how it had eased my worries. Mom opens her eyes, watching me with a look of anticipation. If this will help her take her mind off of things, I can do that for her.
I don’t go into too much detail, but I tell her how he showed up at the hospital, how he came to Elle’s and brought me his t-shirt and sweats to sleep in. How he stayed with me until Elle got home so I wouldn’t be alone. About the coffee this morning. And the flowers.
My cheeks feel rosy by the end of it, my belly warm.
Mom looks tired but is smiling at the end of my narrative. Her eyes sweep through the room and land on the flowers. “I had an inkling when I first met him that he was a keeper.”
I feel myself grow even redder. “I’m having fun with him, Mom. But I don’t know how this can possibly go anywhere after this summer. He lives here, I live in New York.”
“Then don’t decide now. Wait until the end of the summer.” She closes her eyes. “New York isn’t the only place in the world that has a nursing school.”
“Uh huh,” I say skeptically. “I can’t believe we’re even talking about this. I’ve known the guy for not even two weeks.”
“Pssh,” she whispers. “A week, a month, a year. What does it matter? If something is meant to be, it’s meant to be. You have one more semester of your nursing pre-requisites?”
“Maybe even less if I can do a few courses on-line,” I say, thinking about the summer classes I didn’t take. I glance over at the door, but it’s still firmly closed. “Mom, seriously. What are you saying? Does this have to do with the Ian story and how the two of you were meant to be?”
She opens her eyes, and I read genuine surprise in them. “I shared that story from that part of my life so you knew that your old mum has a heart,” she says softly. “And Ian? He was my first love, yes, but I don’t think I ever truly believed he and I were meant to be. If that were the case, I wouldn’t have let him get away so easily.”
I blink. “But I thought you said you could have stayed with him forever.”
“Well, maybe I did at the time,” she admits. “But you know... no one will ever love me as much as your father does.”
Her eyes settle on the door to the hallway, and I watch as her face brightens despite her pain.
“Oh.” I smile at her, though she’s not looking at me. “Mom? Of course you have a heart. A pretty amazing one.”
She sits up and reaches for me like she’s going to give me a hug, but then winces and falls back again. I gasp and lunge over to her to help, but she waves me away with an audible sigh.
“Are you all right?”
“I will be.” Her eyes settle on my face again. “You have an amazing heart too, baby girl. Don’t forget that.”
25
Connor
The second Alex’s father walks over to me in the waiting area, I’m in uncharted territory. Laura’s parents were divorced, and she snuck out of the house to meet me more often than not so I wouldn’t have to deal with her mother. And there’s been no one else except for the occasional one or two-night stand.
Fuck. Twenty-five years old, and I’ve never had to make small talk with the father of a girl I liked before. Seriously, how did I dodge that bullet this long?
I rise to a standing position from my chair as he approaches. I can see bits of Alex in him, especially in the way he carries himself. There’s a sort of confidence in both of them, something that speaks to how they like to stand on their own and not rely on others for much of anything.
He strides up to me, looking at me directly as he holds out his hand. “James Lin. You’re a friend of my daughter’s?”
I shake it. “Yes, sir. Connor Vincent.”
He gestures to the chair I just vacated. “Have a seat? I wanted to speak with you for a minute.”
Oh, shit. I don’t know why my immediate response is to feel defensive. Maybe that’s normal. Either way, I brace myself for the inevitable questions that he’s going to ask me about my intentions regarding his one and only daughter.
“I’ve seen you around quite a bit,” he starts. “In the high roller rooms. What’s your line of work, Connor?”
Interesting. Didn’t see that coming, though maybe I should have. “I provide asset security for players. For high rollers,” I pause before adding, “such as yourself.”
“I see.” He looks thoughtful, and I make the quick decision before he goes on to say anything. If he’s considering hiring me, I’ll have no choice but to decline because of conflicts of interest.
I can’t work for you and like your daughter as much as I do.
The thought sends my head spiraling in a completely different direction. Because I would actually turn down this job if given an opportunity. Because I haven’t looked at or even thought about another woman since that night at the concert when I danced with Alex.
“Not a bodyguard then?” he asks.
My work brain clicks the rest of the way into place as I consider why he’d ask me this. For clients like Maya who put themselves and assets like jewelry on display, personal security is part of the package. After all, the entire reason I’m in this gig is because some shithead tried to knock her down and steal her purse. But this can’t be why Alex’s father is asking. Alex told me about his background, that he’s a hard-working guy who likes to treat his family to the high roller lifestyle on summer vacations. I have a few other clients like him, and I can see for myself that he doesn’t flaunt what he has. So why ask about personal protection?
“Not specifically, though personal safety is a natural extension of protecting someone’s assets,” I explain. I look at him shrewdly as I add, “Why?”
He stares back at me, and I see it. Fear. There’s something he’s afraid of. Maybe even someone specifically. The look is gone in a literal blink of an eye though, and he gives me a wry smile.
“No particular reason. I know you and Alexis have been spending time together.” He hesitates. “Forgive me for not being direct with you from the beginning, but I did ask around about you. You have a solid background and an excellent reputation with your clients. This city is full of individuals with unsavory backgrounds, and quite honestly, as Alexis’ father, I feel better knowing she’s around people who are safe.”
This conversation keeps revealing more and more surprises. He had me checked out. Sounds like it was strictly in the business sense – not in regards to my personal life, thank God. I vaguely wonder if one of the people he talked to was Maya, but I’m not going to ask. Whether it was Maya or someone else, I can say with pride that I know that I have a good reputation and that my clients can all vouch for the fact that I’m good at what I do.
Alex walks into the waiting area right then, and she stops in her tracks when she sees me talking to her dad. Her face flushes, and I can’t help but smile at her.
“Alexis.” Her father stands up as she walks over to us, relief written on his expression and uncertainty on hers. “Did you have a nice visit with your mother?”
“Yes, but I’m afraid I tired her out, because she was dozing off at the en
d.” She glances at me. “I see you met Connor?”
“I did.”
“It was a pleasure, sir,” I say, rising to my feet.
“James,” he says with a nod, and I catch Alex’s look of shock out of the corner of my eye. “Please call me James.”
“I’ll be back this afternoon, Dad,” Alex calls out, but her father is already walking away.
Neither of us have eaten yet, and we decide to go back to Elle’s place. As I drive there, we agree to drag Elle’s ass out of bed and make breakfast. Alex seems more relaxed now, and I’m glad. Not that she was acting anxious when I picked her up an hour ago, but I imagine that seeing her mother had to have made her feel better.
“I love being out here for the summer, but that’s one thing I do get sick of,” Alex admits. “Constantly eating out or doing room service. And then I have to work in a restaurant when I get home. Yuck.”
I glance at her before I make the turn onto Elle’s street. Alex doesn’t seem like the type to stick with something she doesn’t like.
“If you don’t like the restaurant, why not do something about it? Why not get another job?”
She shrugs. “I’ve thought about it, but it’s good money, for one thing. And only temporary until I finish school. It’s really not too bad.” She shoots me a sideways look. “And if you must know, I’ve kind of had a crush on one of the cooks for forever.”
I pull over in front of Elle’s building and turn off the ignition. “Yeah? What’s he like? Tell me about him. Or her.”
Alex laughs. “It’s a guy. No way. Why would you even want to know that?”
“Because. I’m interested in what you find worthy of a crush.”
I rest my arm on the back of her seat, and her smile slowly disappears as I focus all of my attention on her. It was a simple question, one I asked out of pure curiosity, but her eyes search mine like she’s waiting for more. I don’t even know how I’d answer my own question. I suppose I used to think I had a specific “type” of woman I went for, but being with Alex kind of destroyed that stereotype. She’s vibrant, headstrong, sensitive. Resilient as hell. She’s nothing like any of those other women I’ve been with. Or maybe I just never gave anyone else the chance except for in a physical sense.
Losing Enough Page 23
