‘Oh, excuse me, señora. I did not know that you were up yet. Shall I tell Cook that you are ready for breakfast?’
Laura shook her head. ‘No, thank you, Pilar. I don’t really feel like anything just yet.’
‘You should try to eat something, señora.’ The maid smiled shyly, her gaze dropping meaningfully to Laura’s stomach before returning to her face. ‘It will help the sickness.’
Laura felt her face fill with colour and she looked away, murmuring that she would have coffee and toast, then. When Pilar had hurried back inside she sat down at the table and closed her eyes with a sigh. Obviously others had put two and two together and come up with an answer to explain her recent bouts of nausea faster than she had herself! Did that include Doña Elena? Could Luis’s mother’s solicitous attitude of late be attributed to that same guesswork? If so, then it wouldn’t be long before Luis was made aware of everyone’s suspicions. She could only imagine what he would think if he found out about the baby from somebody else! The last thing she needed right now was for relations between them to deteriorate any further.
Pilar came back with the toast and coffee, smiling her approval as she laid them out on the table. Laura poured herself a cup of the fragrant coffee then sipped it slowly while she tried to work out what she should do. The thought of telling Luis that she was pregnant scared her when she wasn’t sure what his reaction might be, but there was no way she was going to be able to put it off much longer.
She buttered a triangle of toast then took a small bite and forced herself to chew it slowly as she felt her stomach revolt at the taste. She smiled with bitter wryness, realising that she wasn’t going to have a choice much longer. Luis was far too sharp not to notice that something was wrong if she started leaping up from the table all the time! She would make an appointment to see the doctor this morning, then if her, and everyone else’s, suspicions proved to be correct would decide when and how to tell Luis the news. After that...well, only time would tell what happened next. The one real consolation was that, no matter what, she would have Luis’s child to love.
* * *
She was pregnant.
Laura left the doctor’s office in a daze, still hardly able to take it in. It was one thing suspecting that she might be and quite another having it confirmed as indisputable fact.
Without really being aware of where she was going, she walked along the street towards the centre of the town, barely conscious of the people milling all around her. Her head was full of the child she would have in a few months’ time so that it was several seconds before she realised that someone was calling her name.
She glanced along the street and felt some of her joy evaporate when she recognised Mercedes, elegant as ever in a slim-fitting burgundy two-piece. When the older woman started to cross the road, Laura steeled herself, but it was impossible to quell the animosity that rose inside her.
‘Ahh, Laura, what a surprise to see you in town. Are you doing some shopping?’ Mercedes glanced at the small bag Laura was carrying with a coolly polite smile which did little to hide her dislike.
Laura responded with an equally chilling politeness whilst inside she felt anger starting to burn at the thought of the time Mercedes and Luis had just spent together. ‘I had an appointment. Now I am on my way to see Luis.’
‘Then how fortunate it is that I met you. I can save you making a wasted journey.’ Mercedes smiled, her eyes filled with triumph as she saw the angry flush creeping up Laura’s face. ‘Luis mentioned on the flight home that he had an appointment which will take him out of town this afternoon. I am surprised that he didn’t mention it to you, but then I don’t think that he discusses business with you all that often.’ She laughed huskily. ‘You did know that Luis and I were in Amsterdam together, Laura?’
‘Of course. Naturally Luis told me.’ If it took every ounce of strength she possessed she would hold on to her composure and not give the woman the satisfaction of knowing how much it had hurt to discover that fact. ‘You were there on business for your father, I believe.’
‘Mmmm, but it is often possible to combine business with pleasure, isn’t it? And Luis and I always enjoy one another’s company whether it is in a business capacity or...any other.’
She couldn’t take much more of this, couldn’t stand there and listen to all these half-veiled insinuations which were breaking her heart. ‘I am sure you do. However, if you will excuse me, I think I shall see if I can catch Luis before he leaves.’
‘Don’t you believe me, Laura? I can assure you that I am telling you the truth about the appointment.’ Mercedes laughed again, making no attempt to hide her amusement. ‘Luis often acquaints me of his whereabouts in case I ever need to contact him for any reason.’
Laura’s blood was starting to boil, heated by all the pain and anger she could feel inside her. ‘Luis is my husband. Perhaps you should try acquainting yourself with that fact!’
Mercedes shrugged lightly, not at all perturbed. ‘It makes little difference to Luis so why should it worry me? Besides, once Luis’s plans have reached fruition then your role will be over and done with.’
‘What do you mean? What plans?’ Suddenly all the anger drained out of her, leaving her feeling oddly shaky. Laura reached out a trembling hand to steady herself, feeling the warm roughness of the brick under her icy fingers.
Mercedes studied her in silence then gave a defiant toss of her head. ‘Why shouldn’t you know? Maybe then you will start to understand the hopelessness of your position. Do you imagine that Luis is in love with you, Laura, and that is why he is making such a determined effort to hold your marriage together?’ She laughed when she saw the shock on Laura’s face. ‘You see, I know so much more than you imagine, don’t I? Perhaps by realising that you will believe that what I am telling you is the truth.’
‘And what is this truth, Mercedes? What are these...these plans that Luis has?’ Her voice barely carried above the sounds of the traffic but the older woman heard her clearly it seemed because she answered at once.
‘A child. An heir for the Rivera family business. That is why Luis is holding this marriage together. Divorce is not possible in our religion. You understand that. And Luis needs an heir, a legitimate heir, to carry on the family name; a child you will give him, Laura. After that—well...’ She shrugged meaningfully. ‘After that, your role in Luis’s life will be over. Naturally you will be well compensated but at least it will mean that he will be spared living this way.’
‘No! I don’t believe you. It’s barbaric!’ Laura recoiled against the wall, her face ashen, her whole body trembling as though she had a fever yet she felt so cold that she was almost numb.
‘It is your choice to believe me or not, but it is the truth, Laura, as you will find out for yourself if you stay. Frankly, I don’t really care. It will not affect the relationship I have with Luis.’ She went to walk away but Laura caught her arm.
‘You are lying, Mercedes! You are!’
‘Am I? Think about it. Add it all up, everything that has happened, and then decide if I am lying or not.’
‘I shall go to Luis and ask him. Make him tell me the truth and then if it is all lies think how angry he will be with you!’ There was desperation in her voice but Mercedes merely smiled as she drew her arm away from Laura’s hold.
‘Do you think that would be wise...after last night? Luis might suddenly decide that even getting the heir he wants so desperately isn’t worth all the trouble you cause him, Laura. And where will that leave you? At least by going along with his plans you are assured of always being looked after, always having more than enough money to live on. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I...’
‘Did Luis come to you last night after...after we quarrelled?’ She didn’t want to ask that question, wanted even less to hear the answer, but it had to be said and heard. How else could Mercedes know about what had happened?
Something flickered in Mercedes’ eyes before her lids lowered. ‘Do I need to answer t
hat?’
She walked away but Laura made no attempt to stop her this time. That last cool statement seemed like the final betrayal, proof of how little Luis cared for her. He had left the house and gone to Mercedes, spent the night in her arms, telling her of his plans for the future, plans that held no place in them for Laura. It seemed incredible that any person could be so cold-blooded and ruthless, but the more she thought about it the more it explained about Luis’s behaviour towards her. He had brought her back to Spain and to his house, made love to her for that one reason: a child that would carry his name.
A sob welled from her lips and she pressed a hand to her mouth as she felt the hot, bitter tears gathering in her eyes. What a fool she had been, a stupid, blind fool not to have realised just how deep his desire for revenge ran. And what greater revenge could he have than taking her child away?
She had run away once before but always hoped that he would find her. Now she had to run again, only this time she had to make certain that she disappeared without a trace. She loved him, but she would never let him take something so precious away from her!
* * *
It seemed to take forever to get back to the house and throw a few things into a bag. She wouldn’t have bothered returning in truth if it hadn’t been for the fact that she needed her passport. Now as she searched desperately through the drawers, she moaned softly in distress as she failed to find it. Where was it? It was difficult to remember the last time she had seen it but she forced herself to stand quite still and try and felt a surge of relief run through her when she suddenly recalled Luis mentioning something about putting it away in the desk with his.
Leaving the small overnight bag by the bed, she ran down the stairs and into the study, her hands shaking as she pulled open the drawers until she found the missing passport in the very bottom one. She snatched it up then half turned to leave the room, stopping abruptly when a familiar voice said softly, ‘Did you want something, Laura?’
Her heart jolted painfully, her breath catching as she glanced over her shoulder to where Luis stood in the doorway watching her. How much had he seen of her frantic search? Had he seen her take the passport from the drawer? She swallowed down the sudden wave of sickness as she slid the small book into the pocket of her skirt and turned to face him. ‘I...I was just looking for an envelope,’ she lied. ‘I wanted to write to Rachel and suddenly found that I had run out but it doesn’t matter. I can get some the next time I’m in town.’
She sidled around the desk, freezing when Luis moved further into the room, one dark brow raising fractionally as he studied her pale face, the feverish glitter in her eyes. ‘You seem upset, far more upset than the discovery that you had run out of envelopes should merit. Are you sure there isn’t something else wrong?’
‘No! Well, yes. I mean I do feel a bit sick if you really want to know.’ She bit her lip, suddenly wishing that she hadn’t used that as an excuse of all reasons, but Luis mercifully seemed unaware of any undertones as he moved closer to her and studied her with open concern.
‘When did it start? Do you think you have some sort of virus, Laura? Do you want me to call the doctor to see you?’
Such concern hurt, especially following hard on the heels of what she had learned that morning and she backed away from him with contempt in her eyes. ‘What a hypocrite you are, Luis! As if you really care one way or the other if I am ill.’
His face closed, his eyes glittering dangerously. ‘Naturally I care how you feel, Laura.’
‘Why? In case my being sick hinders your rotten plans?’
The words flowed out before she could stop them, the memories of all Mercedes had told her so rawly painful that they drove away any thoughts of caution just for a moment. But one thing she couldn’t afford to forget was how astute Luis was. If he suspected that she knew what he had planned on doing then it wouldn’t take him long to realise just how she would react. The last thing she needed was him watching over her right now!
‘What plans, querida? Why do I get the feeling that you are keeping something from me?’ He stepped closer, tilting her chin with his finger as he studied her face with an intensity that made her squirm. It felt as though he was looking right into her soul, laying all her secrets bare, but there was one secret she had to hide from him! If he found out about the baby then she would never get away!
She closed her eyes as she took a slow breath and fought for calm then opened them slowly to look back at him as steadily as she could. ‘You are imagining things, Luis. Perhaps I am a bit overwrought but that is understandable after last night and...and this morning.’
He sighed deeply, letting her go as he turned to the window and stared out across the terrace. ‘You could be right. I too am feeling the strain of living the way we do. Sometimes I wish that we could turn back the clock and start all over again.’
‘You do?’ Unconsciously her voice softened. She took a slow step towards him, her whole body rigid with tension. ‘Then why can’t we, Luis? Why can’t we do just that, forget all these dreadful months and just remember how we once felt about each other?’
‘Why? Because it is impossible to do such a thing. Madre de Dios, Laura! Do you really imagine that I could ever forgive or forget what you did?’ He caught her suddenly, his hands clasping her shoulders as he hauled her towards him and glared down into her face. ‘Do you?’
Pain was a sharp edge like glass cutting across every nerve so that she flinched under its assault, yet she forced herself to meet his furious gaze. ‘If you loved me, Luis, really loved me, then you could forgive and forget anything!’
‘Could I indeed? You think it is that simple?’ He thrust her from him with a suddenness that made her stagger until she caught hold of the edge of the desk. When she looked at him she wanted to cry, wanted to weep for the agony she saw etched on his face before the mask of composure slid back into place. He ran a hand over his hair, smoothing a few black strands back before he glanced at her again.
‘You will find everything you need in the middle drawer—paper, envelopes, stamps. I must go now or I shall be late for a meeting. I only dropped by to collect some papers I had forgotten.’ He picked up a folder from the edge of the desk. ‘If you are still feeling unwell this afternoon, I suggest that you call the doctor.’
He walked towards the door and Laura watched him go, every sweet dream she’d ever harboured dying at her feet. This was the last time she would ever see him, the last time she would ever hear his voice and she didn’t know how she was going to bear it. What she had said just now was true, so true that it hurt: if he had loved her then he could have put the past behind him and looked towards the future they would build together. She could have done it. Even knowing exactly what he had been planning all these weeks and just how deeply his desire for revenge ran, she could have forgiven him everything if he had met her halfway because she loved him so much. But it wasn’t to be.
‘Goodbye, Luis.’ Her voice was husky with emotion, so quiet that she thought he hadn’t heard until he suddenly turned to glance back. Light was spilling through the window, catching him in its slanting golden rays so that for a moment he stood there spotlighted. Laura stared at him hungrily, absorbing the sight of him, letting the image seep deep inside her so that she would remember it for ever. Then without a word he was gone.
She steadied herself against the desk with both hands as her legs started to buckle under the force of the total desolation she felt. She couldn’t break down now. She had to be strong...strong enough to leave Luis for good. She had the money her father had left to her in his will—not a fortune but enough to tide her over until the baby was born. She’d been saving it against a rainy day and now that day had arrived. Once she was back on her feet then she could think about finding herself a job, using her teaching credentials to do supply work if there was nothing permanent available. She had a lot more going for her than many women in her situation, with an unworkable marriage behind them. She would survive, but that was
all it would be, mere survival, because she would no longer have Luis in her life.
CHAPTER TEN
IT WAS adrenalin that kept her going on the long walk back into town. She didn’t dare ask José to drive her or call a taxi, which would only invite speculation. There was no way of knowing how long Luis would be gone and she didn’t want any of the servants alerting him as to what was happening as soon as he got back. It was the same need for caution which made her reconsider her first plan to head straight for the airport. The airport would be the first place Luis would check once he realised she had gone.
She found a taxi in town and asked the driver to take her to Cadiz. From there trains ran fairly frequently to Seville where she could catch a plane back to England. It would make it that much more difficult for Luis to track her down.
Hysteria rose in a sudden shocking swirl and she bit her lip as she stared out of the taxi window. She was acting like some sort of master criminal, covering her tracks and taking evasive action. It would have been laughable if it hadn’t been so deadly serious. Luis would never forgive her for running away again like this and she wasn’t fool enough to think he would.
Just for a moment thoughts of Rachel and what Luis might do to her friend surfaced through the panic, but ruthlessly she blanked them out. She would worry about that later once she was safely out of the country. Luis wasn’t omnipotent; there had to be something that she could do to stop him carrying out his threats, although she had even less idea now what it might be than she’d had weeks ago. But, for now, she had to think first and foremost about the baby.
It was late afternoon by the time the taxi dropped her off outside the station. Laura paid the fare without question. All she wanted to do was get on the train and set off on her journey, but when she enquired as to the time of the next train to Seville she was informed that there wouldn’t be another one until that evening.
Spanish Nights (Harlequin Treasury 1990's) Page 13
