Blue Christmas (The Moody Blue Trilogy | Book One)

by Moody, Diane

  Sergio sat in a side seat of the limo, his elbows resting on his knees, his head buried in his hands.

  Jason wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He let out a long breath then forced his eyes toward the side window as he prayed silently. In every direction, huge displays of fireworks erupted in the sky as the new year arrived. Jason’s heart ached in his chest. Not since his own surgery years ago had he known such pain. But this was so much worse. Looking around he saw the fear on the faces of those he loved. He couldn’t bear it. A lump the size of a baseball filled his throat, but he knew what he had to do.

  “Oh Jesus,” he cried. “Sweet Jesus, please . . . please save our Jackson.” He stopped, unable to say more. Hannah squeezed his hand.

  One by one, then simultaneously their prayers came together, reverberating through the car. They continued to pray as the sirens wailed in an eerie, strange accompaniment. They begged God for their brother. They cried out to God for a miracle.

  Because tonight, it would take nothing short of a miracle to save Jackson Greer.

  “As the world ushered in the new year, we here in Chapel Hill were shocked to learn of a tragic shooting this evening at the home of Frank and Laura McKenzie, parents of Out of the Blue’s Jason McKenzie.” The newscaster’s face appeared somber as she spoke into the lens of the camera outside the hospital. “Details are sketchy but we have learned that a guest attending the New Year’s party at the McKenzie’s shot and wounded band member Jackson Greer. Greer was brought here to North Carolina Memorial Hospital where we were told just moments ago that he remains unconscious in critical condition.”

  The camera angle widened as it panned the hospital area. “Security is tight at the hospital as word has spread of the shooting. We are told that the four other members of the group arrived by limousine just minutes behind the ambulance carrying Greer. The police chief has asked that well-wishers and others respect the privacy of these celebrities and their families at this time of crisis by not coming anywhere near this medical facility.”

  Dozens of similar camera crews reported the story across air waves that reached around the world in a matter of minutes. Security tightened at the hospital as police officers sealed off the area.

  Inside, doctors and nurses worked at a frantic pace to stabilize the young celebrity in their emergency room. Jackson was moved to a special intensive care unit. With immediate access to a private wing, those who waited for news of his condition were able to be together away from the public. The gracious hospital staff tried to make them comfortable, providing plenty of space and amenities for them.

  The minutes ticked by agonizingly slow for those who waited.

  Gevin grabbed the remote and clicked off the television. “Enough.”

  Hannah sat in a corner of the waiting room watching every movement and listening to every word. People spoke in urgent whispers, but mostly they were silent. Occasionally, she would shake her head, as if doing so could wake her from this nightmare.

  She felt uncomfortable and out of place. Yes, she had learned to feel a part of these people over the past few days. But now, in this highly charged atmosphere of crisis, she felt like an intruder. She thought briefly of slipping out and going home, but a nagging inner voice kept telling her to stay.

  Jason needs you.

  She wanted to believe it. She watched him across the room, clustered with the other guys as they took turns sitting with Alli. Hannah wanted desperately to comfort her new friend. But mostly she wanted to cling to Jason. Still, she couldn’t seem to find the courage to invade their space. So she waited.

  Kylie had called again. And again, Hannah had chosen not to take the call. How could she now? How could she explain all that had happened leading up to this? She knew Kylie would be angry with her, but now wasn’t the time to worry about that. She would understand once they had a chance to talk.

  Not knowing what else to do, Hannah closed her eyes and added to the silent rush of prayers. After a while, she felt someone sit down beside her. Before she opened her eyes, she breathed in the familiar scent of Jason’s cologne. His hand reached for hers, intertwining her fingers with his. He dropped his head on her shoulder. She could almost feel the weight of his heartache in that gesture.

  “You okay?” he asked quietly.

  “Yes. I think. How are you holding up?”

  “I just can’t believe this,” he began. “What if—”

  “Shhh.” She pressed her fingers against his lips. “Don’t, Jason.”

  He exhaled deeply pulling her hand toward him, settling against her. “I just wish I could get in to see him. Just for a moment. I just need to see him breathing.”

  She tightened her grip on his hand. “Any word from his family?”

  “No, I don’t—”

  The door opened as Frank and Laura arrived. Their eyes raced across the sea of faces looking for their son who suddenly appeared before them. He collapsed in their embrace. Hannah couldn’t bear to watch as the three of them cried together. Gevin joined their circle, burying his head against his uncle’s shoulder and weeping out loud.

  The family shared quiet words and Hannah knew that Frank and Laura would be the strength they all needed right now. She was right. As the minutes slowly bled into long, unbearable hours, the McKenzies moved among the people assembled here for Jackson and encouraged them to have hope.

  From time to time, the doctors would come in to report on Jackson’s condition. Each time they opened the door, you could hear the collective intake of breath as they all feared the worst. And they collectively sighed in relief when they heard that he was hanging on. He was still unconscious, but he was alive.

  Around 5:00 in the morning, Hannah made her way over to the coffee pot and got two white mugs, filling them with the fresh, steaming brew. She silently thanked God for the simple luxury of real coffee mugs, not the usual Styrofoam cups found in hospital waiting rooms. She walked slowly toward Alli. “Buy you a cup of coffee?”

  Alli looked up, her eyes bloodshot and puffy. She nodded, reaching out for the mug.

  “Alli, I couldn’t begin to know what to say right now,” Hannah said as Alli sipped the hot brew. “But I’ve been praying for you since we left the house. And I promise you, I won’t stop.”

  Alli looked at her, the slightest nod communicating her appreciation. “Hannah, don’t think I’m being ungrateful. I’m just trying really hard to stop all these tears, and—” She took a deep breath, shaking her head. “And I just—”

  “It’s okay,” Hannah whispered. “I understand. You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to check on you. Is there anything you need?”

  She closed her eyes briefly. “Actually, there is. Do you think we could get out of here for a few minutes? These walls are suffocating me.”

  “Sure. Let’s take a walk down the hall.” They moved toward the door. “Jason?” Hannah touched him on the arm as he sat talking to Gevin and Marissa. “Alli needs some fresh air. We’re going to step out in the hall for a minute, okay?”

  “Do you want me to come?”

  Alli squeezed the back of his neck with her hand. “No, we’re fine. We’ll be right back.”

  They walked up and down the dark hall for half an hour. It felt good to be up and moving. Hannah let Alli talk. Sometimes they walked in complete silence. They were just heading back to the waiting room when anxious voices filled the hall ahead of them.

  “Oh thank God, Hannah. It’s the Greers!”

  Alli flew into the arms of Jackson’s mom and dad, immediately surrounded by his brothers and sisters. Hannah slipped back into the room to give them some privacy. It would only be a moment, because as soon as Hannah opened the door, Jason saw them too. He squeezed her hand before rushing into the hall. He was followed by Gevin and JT. Sergio remained on the floor of the waiting room. Frank and Laura sat on either side of him, no doubt trying to counsel him through the long hours of relentless, self-imposed questions.

  Hannah walked back
to the corner where she had originally been seated. Marissa plopped down beside her, folding her arms across her chest. “Oh girl, how in the world did all this happen? One minute we’re dancing and laughing and having the best time . . . and then, the guys are fighting . . . and then that shot was fired . . . and it’s like time just froze. And none of us have breathed since that moment.” She shook her head back and forth. “I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it.”

  “I know. It’s surreal, isn’t it? I think we’re all still in shock.”

  “That we are.”

  Hannah thought for a moment then turned to face Marissa. “Rissa, can I be honest with you?”

  “Sure, Hannah. Anything.”

  “I feel really out of place here. I’m trying to convince myself I should stay because of Jason. But I can’t help feeling I’ve intruded on a great big family that’s dealing with this horrible thing, and I just shouldn’t be here.”

  Marissa’s face clouded. “What in the world are you talking about? You are here because of Jason. And he needs you here. He needs you now more than ever. Just because you’re new to this little soiree doesn’t mean you aren’t important to all of us. Okay? So just chill. None of us wanna be here, but we’re here. And we all need each other. Okay?”

  Hannah felt the burden lift off her shoulders. “Thanks. I guess I just needed to hear that.”

  “That’s okay. Thing is, I’ve had my own doubts about being here. Ever since Gevin and I announced our plans, this whole thing has been one big mess. I knew it would be hard on the guys, but I never dreamed it would come to something like this.”

  “You can’t blame yourself for any of this! Liza would have pulled that trigger regardless of what else was going on. She obviously had planned this—bringing a gun with her, cornering Jackson alone in his room like that. You and Gevin had nothing to do with it, Rissa.”

  “I know that, Hannah. But maybe we shouldn’t have said anything. Just kept it to ourselves for now. I don’t know. It’s just all so crazy.”

  “I know. But the one I’m really worried about is Sergio. I see all that sadness in his eyes and it breaks my heart.”

  “Sergio’s gonna need a lot of help to get through this. He’s such a neat kid, y’know? He’s got a heart the size of Texas and he’s one of those people who’s always happy just to be alive.” Marissa smiled at memories obviously playing in her mind. “I just love him. Always have. Like a kid brother you just adore. He’s so excited to be a part of this group. Loves every aspect of it. When the rest of the guys need a break from it and go off on vacation, he’ll still make the award shows and do all the interviews. All by himself. It’s like he can’t get enough of it.”

  They looked over at Sergio, deep in conversation with the McKenzies. Laura held him close, her arm wrapped around his shoulders.

  “He’ll be okay, if he’ll listen to Frank and Laura,” Marissa continued. “They are so solid, those two. Now that’s a model family if ever there was one. In fact, I’d have to credit the McKenzies with one of Blue’s dirty little secrets.”

  “And what would that be?”

  “Well, we don’t make a big deal of it, but the fact is, most of us are pretty strong in our faith. A lot of people in the business are. It’s not that we’re ashamed or anything like that. Not at all. We just don’t want to be put under undue scrutiny—dubbed ‘Christians’ and somehow categorized as freaks and never heard from again. And that happens a lot. Sad to say but Christians get verbally crucified every day in the industry. It’s brutal out there. And, to be honest, we can help a lot more people flying under the radar, if you know what I mean. They let us into their world where they never would if we waved our Christian flags in their faces. Jason calls it Christian espionage. We just love ’em and try to be Jesus for them.

  “But our faith is an integral part of what we are. Bet you didn’t know that.”

  “No, I didn’t. I mean, Jason has always been pretty outspoken about it personally, but I never knew about the other guys.”

  “Yeah, Jason’s totally upfront about how much he loves God. He and Gevin were both raised that way, but Gevin’s more private about it. It’s there. Trust me.

  “As for me?” A sassy lilt crept into her tone. “Little Miss Marissa here was singing in the Mt. Pisgah Missionary Baptist Church choir when she was only five years old.” Her smile gently warmed her face. “And she knows the real deal when she sees it. The others—Jason made sure they’re all ‘glory bound,’ as he calls it. You should see him do his crazy evangelist routine, Hannah. Girl, he cracks me up.

  “But what I’m saying is, we all believe, we’re just on different pages of the book, you know what I’m saying? None of us are saints—you can trust me on that one too. JT? Now, there’s your bull in the china shop. JT wears his life on his sleeve. You always know exactly where he stands. He’s got a lot of baggage—a lot of rough edges, and he’s still got a lot to learn. He still struggles with some issues, but deep down, he’s there. And Sergio and Jackson—they’re both on board too, just low-key.”

  Marissa leaned back in the chair, relaxing her legs out in front of her. She closed her eyes, her head swaying ever so slightly as she hummed a quiet melody. It was a hymn but Hannah couldn’t place it. The sound of Marissa’s rich alto was soothing, calming Hannah’s nerves. She felt her own eyes get heavy, giving in to the fatigue.

  A few moments later she heard Marissa whispering. “Oh, Jackson, c’mon. Hang in there. We need you, baby.”

  Chapter 14

  The sun rose on the first day of the new year.

  And then it set again.

  Jackson Greer held on, but he was somewhere far away in a world that wouldn’t connect.

  As his close friends and family settled in for the long vigil, they grew more quiet with each passing hour. The city of Chapel Hill reached out to them in gracious but unobtrusive ways. The hospital opened a hall of empty patient rooms for them, allowing them to sleep or shower in shifts. Flowers arrived by the truckloads. Huge bouquets and stuffed animals filled the waiting room and lined the long walls of the wing the employees now called Jackson’s Floor.

  The intensive care unit strictly limited visitation for all its patients, no matter who they might be. Throughout that first night and day, Jackson’s immediate family, along with Alli, took turns visiting at the specified times. Later, the guys would be allowed a brief visit.

  Around 10:00 in the evening, Jason stepped into the waiting room and called for Hannah. As they went out into the hall, he yawned deeply and wrapped his hand around hers. “I want you to come in with me to see Jackson.”

  She stopped. “No, Jason, it wouldn’t be right. I couldn’t.”

  “We’ve all had a chance to visit him, and it’s my turn again. I want you with me.” His eyes pleaded with her. “Change that—I need you with me, Hannah.”

  She studied his face. The pain and fatigue overshadowed the normal exuberance she found there. The deep creases of his brow seemed to be knotted permanently in place. She couldn’t refuse him. She pulled him toward her, wishing to somehow give him the strength he needed. He searched her face as though looking for the hope he lacked, gently pushing her hair back away from her face. Finally, they turned and moved quietly down the hall.

  As Jason slowly opened the door to Jackson’s room, Hannah took a deep breath and silently asked God to give her strength. Alli sat beside Jackson’s bed, her back to them, her hands wrapped around his lifeless hand. Jason motioned for Hannah to stand back with him, not wishing to intrude on Alli’s privacy. He wrapped his arm around her tightly as they observed their two friends.

  Apparently unaware of their presence, Alli laid her head against Jackson’s leg covered by a blue blanket. Her body rocked slowly back and forth. They could hear her unsteady breathing. After endless moments of silence, she raised her head, gently caressing Jackson’s leg. “Wake up, Jackson. Please wake up,” she whispered.

  Then they heard the faintest sound of
her singing.

  I could never love another

  The way that I love you,

  I could never face another day

  Without you by my side.

  Hannah recognized the haunting melody of the ballad though barely discernible—the first song Jackson had ever written, recorded by Blue on their sophomore album. His love song for Alli.

  Now, as Alli struggled to murmur his lyrics, Jason stepped quietly behind her, Hannah close beside him. He gently squeezed her shoulder. She looked up at them with eyes so filled with pain, Hannah could barely stand to watch, her own tears racing down her face. She leaned over, hugging Alli as Jason covered them with his arms. No words were spoken. Instead, they simply shared the unspeakable sorrow as the medical machines beeped steadily around them.

  After several moments, her friends still embracing her, Alli reached back out to hold Jackson’s lifeless hand. She was rocking again, Jackson’s song filling her. Her voice was raspy from too many hours of too much crying, yet she softly sang the words.

  I will love you always,

  Always and forever,

  With every breath I take

  I will love you—

  Always and forever . . .

  Jason pulled away from them, abruptly leaving the room. Hannah hugged Alli once more then quietly left the room. She found Jason standing in a dark corner, his head in his hands.

  “Why, God? Why Jackson? Please don’t let him die . . .”

  Hannah stood just behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He poured his heart out to God—begging and pleading. Hannah simply held him. She leaned her head against his strong back, feeling each ragged breath he took. When she finally opened her eyes, something near the window caught her attention. She squinted, trying to make out the movement of the images reflected in the glass. Gently pulling away from Jason, she moved toward the window.

  What she saw took her breath away. “Jason, come here.” She heard him sniffling. He didn’t move. “Jason, please. You’ve got to see this.”