Debs finished her coffee and chatted to me while I ate my toast. The sound of her voice was helping me feel at home here in her kitchen.
‘You should probably ring your mother, or at least send her an email—to let her know that everything went well. She’ll be concerned about you.’
‘Oh, yeah—I suppose I should. I’ll send an email today.’
‘You look like you’re ready to go for a run. Is that what you had in mind?’
‘Yeah, maybe. I mean I wouldn’t mind if it’s okay with you.’
‘Of course, you do that. I’ve got some mail to sort through … bills to pay etcetera. You go have your run and we can go shopping after that.’
‘That’d be great; if you’re sure you don’t mind? A quick run is probably just what I need. You know, after sitting on the plane so long yesterday.’
‘Yes it is a long flight—but nothing like the one from America.’ She stood up and headed for the study, then turned and smiled, ‘Oh, and your key is there on the hook by the door. Don’t forget it when you go out.’
~~***~~
A half-hour later I walked briskly up to the gardens, and by the time I arrived at Sam’s tree, my breath was making clouds of steam in the cold still air. I stood there for a few moments, hoping I might spot him somewhere. Feeling foolish when he didn’t appear, I took off the jacket I was wearing, and tied the sleeves around my waist. With my back to Sam’s tree, I headed down to my right, past the bench I fondly referred to as Elizabeth’s bench. She, too, failed to make an appearance.
I walked the first lap, then jogged one as a warm up, then did two more slightly faster laps. I slowed back to a jog for one more, then walked a final lap as a cool down. But there was still no sign of either of them. When I got back to Sam’s tree, I untied the jacket and put it back on, then started walking back. For some reason I decided to go past Elizabeth’s bench one last time, rather than take the shorter path down to La Trobe Street. As I walked by the bench I scanned the area, but there was still no sign of her.
But then I heard the melody—that sweet little tune she often hummed. It came drifting toward me, and I wondered if I actually heard it or if it was just my memory playing tricks on me. I stopped, and it seemed to get louder.
‘Elizabeth, is that you?’ I thought, without actually speaking out loud.
‘Hi, Lili, yes it’s me. I see you’re back … are you staying this time?’ she asked, her voice sounding so wonderfully familiar.
‘Yes I’m back. Didn’t Sam tell you I was coming?’
‘No. But he did say you were in Australia. He said you’d taken Ceylona to Mladen. I wasn’t sure if I’d see you though.’
I clenched my teeth and fought back tears of frustration and hurt. He hadn’t even mentioned to Elizabeth that I was coming home. Had he thought I might not come back?
‘Lili, don’t take it so personally. Sam and I don’t talk … not like we used to. He’s been … different, lately.’
I’d forgotten she could read my thoughts, even when I hadn’t formulated speech in my mind.
‘Different? How? What do you mean?’
‘Well, since he and Tom moved, he doesn’t walk through here every day like he used to. We used to talk about everything; things that mattered, things that didn’t matter. He would spend time with me every day, sometimes lots of time. But now, well, he comes here from time to time, or I see him at the market, but it’s not the same. It’s usually more, I don’t know, rushed I suppose you could say.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I wouldn’t have thought anything could keep him from spending time with you.’
‘Me neither, but ... well, all I can say is that he’s changed. At first, when you left, he got sad. I expected that. He was sad for a very long time. But we still talked. Or at least I talked, and he listened. But since they moved, he’s become very distant.’
A movement to Elizabeth’s right caught my eye, and I turned to see a teenaged girl materialise right before my eyes. She looked to be maybe seventeen or eighteen, dressed in jeans, a tee-shirt and canvas shoes.
‘Hello,’ I said to the girl, then looked back to Elizabeth for an explanation.
‘Oh, how rude of me—Lili, this is Cassandra, or Cassie. Cassie, this is my sister-in-law, Lili. I almost forgot you were back there Cassie, you were so quiet.’
The girl smiled at me. ‘Well, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be seen … at first.’
‘Oh, Lili’s fine. She’s one of “us”. Or at least, as close as a human can be,’ Elizabeth said, winking at me.
‘Well, it certainly is a pleasure to meet you, Cassie,’ I said, ‘and it’s nice to see you have a friend, Elizabeth. I don’t suppose Henry is still here?’
‘No, he left quite some time ago. He started getting fainter and fainter, then one day he was gone. No big parting speech or anything, just gone.’
‘I’m sorry, Elizabeth,’ I replied feeling sad for not only her but also for myself—I’d miss Henry too. Then I turned to the other ghost, ‘So, Cassie, your accent … I mean, you sound like me. Are you from California, by any chance?’
‘Sure am. San Diego.’
‘Oh … I’ve never been there but I’ve heard it’s nice. So, if it isn’t too rude, may I ask how you came to be here?’
‘I ran away from home. Well, sort of. My Dad had moved here a few years ago—he lives here in Melbourne, in Jeffcott Street. Or at least, that was the last address I had for him. I told Mom I was sick of her new boyfriend telling me what to do all the time, so I packed my bags to come here to live with my Dad. But I never thought to tell Dad that I was coming, and so when I got here, he wasn’t. I figured I’d just hang out in one of these backpacker places until he got back. Then what happens? I wake up dead. Seriously.’
‘Oh, I’m so sorry … that sounds … awful,’ I said, wishing I hadn’t made her talk about it.
‘Oh, it wasn’t that bad, really. I mean, I was walking along the street heading back to the hotel, and I remember seeing a man coming toward me. But the next thing I remember was wandering through this park—alone. I tried talking to people, but no one could see me I guess, and they certainly didn’t hear me. I don’t know how long this went on for but eventually I just sat down on this bench here and cried. And then this one appeared,’ she said, pointing to Elizabeth, ‘and asked me if I was okay.’
‘And so you’ve stayed.’
‘Yeah, it seems so. I’ve got nowhere else to be anyway, and Elizabeth here is the best friend I’ve ever had.’
Elizabeth seemed to blush at this, or at least she looked down at the ground shyly.
‘And your father? Have you seen him yet?’
‘No, I’ve gone to his place a few times … it isn’t far … but he hasn’t returned. And no-one there sees or hears me so I can’t even ask if they know anything about him.’
‘Well, maybe that’s something I can do then. I can ask around, see if anyone there knows of him. Would that help?’
‘Would you? That would be awesome. You’d do that, for me?’
‘Of course, it’s no problem at all. But I won’t have time today. I’ve gotta get back … in fact, I’m sort of late already. But I certainly will go to his building tomorrow to see if I can find out anything. Will we meet here tomorrow morning?’
‘Sure thing. And if you don’t mind, I’ll come with you to his building. That way I can listen in if you find anyone that knows him.’
‘Well, it’s a date then. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.’
‘Tomorrow it is,’ said Elizabeth, her smile so contagious that I felt my mood lifting, and I couldn’t help smiling back.
‘Oh, and if you see Sam, mention that we spoke, and that I’m out with Debs. Tell him that I hope to see him tonight.’
‘Sure thing, Lili, but I wouldn’t count on us seeing him … like I said,’ replied Elizabeth, the smile fading as she spoke.
I waved to them as I walked off toward La Trobe Street. My mood had definitely imp
roved from what it had been when I’d arrived. So, Sam wasn’t just being weird to me, he was being weird, totally. I decided I would give him until tonight to contact me, and then I’d ring him. It sounded like he just needed a good scolding, or shaking up, or something.
~~***~~
At three-thirty when my phone rang, I let out a huge sigh—I think I’d been holding my breath for hours. I answered it excitedly, only it wasn’t Sam.
‘Hey, Lili, I’m back,’ said Claire, laughing as she dragged the word out.
‘Hi Claire. You’re back? So, what, are you in Melbourne?’
‘Melbourne? No, I’m in San Francisco. Where are you? Are you in Melbourne?’ she asked, her voice incredulous.
I realised I hadn’t spoken to Claire since just before the incident at Coyote Point. This was her final year at UCLA, and the last time we’d spoken she’d mentioned that her Dad was taking her to London for a graduation present. I guess that was where she was back from.
‘Uh, yeah I am … but hey, how was the trip?’ I asked, changing the subject back to her.
‘Oh, the trip was fabulous! I can’t wait to show you all the clothes I bought. I’m coming home next week. I tell you what, I’m so over LA—I mean, really, it’s been an experience, but I’m glad I have Melbourne to go home to, that’s for sure. So, have you seen Tom? Has he said anything about me?’
Yep, Claire was still Claire—degree or no degree. ‘Uh, no. I mean, I’ve only just arrived myself. I’m staying with Debs at the moment. I haven’t even seen Sam yet.’
‘Oh,’ she said, obviously surprised. ‘You haven’t seen Sam yet? So … are you going to try to patch things up with him? Or have you gone over to sign divorce papers and all that?’
‘No, no, I’m not … I mean, we’re not getting a divorce. I’m here to patch things up. I mean, I’ve spoken to him … we want to try.’
‘That’s cool. Really. Maybe we can do a double date when I get back then. What do you think? Do you think Tom would want to?’
‘Well … I don’t see why not, but like I said, I haven’t seen him. They moved, you see.’
‘Moved? Moved, like, away from town?’
‘No, just in with Michael and Crystal for the moment, while they look for a new house.’
‘Oh, I see … so it’s a bit crowded. Ah, that’s why you’re staying with Debs. That makes sense.’
‘Yeah, well, I’m planning to see Sam tonight. If I see Tom, I’ll say hello for you, and suss out whether he’d be interested in doing something when you get back.’
‘Ah, thanks, that’d be awesome. I hope so. Now that I’m coming back for good, it would be great to sort of pick up where we left things … hey, we could do that trip to the Grampians. You know, we never did get back up there.’
‘Sure, Claire. Sounds good. Look, I’m shopping with Debs now, so, can I call you back? Maybe tomorrow, as it must be late for you?’
‘Oh, yeah, sure. It’s just after ten—but yeah, I’ll catch up with you tomorrow. Have fun shopping, and don’t forget to say hello to Tom for me. Bye.’
Debs pursed her lips in a sort of a mock scolding, then said, ‘Well, I thought you’d never get off that phone. I take it that was Claire?’
‘Uh, yeah, sorry about that.’
‘No worries. Now, have a look at what I’ve picked out here. Go try these on, and I’ll hold your jacket,’ she said, loading me up with a stack of clothes and pushing me toward the change rooms.
~~***~~
By six-thirty, my patience was completely gone. Sam was meant to have rung last night. And here it was getting well into the evening, and still no call. I picked up my phone and pressed his name in the directory. He answered on the first ring.
‘Hello?’
‘Hello, Sam. It’s me, Lili, you know … your wife?’
‘Ah, Lili, you won’t believe this, but something happened to my phone again. All the numbers and history got wiped out—completely gone. I was trying to ring you last night, but I couldn’t remember the number.’
‘I think you better get a new phone, Sam. The one you have sounds like it’s past its use-by date,’ I said, trying to make light of it, even though I was seething inside.
‘Yeah, I’m going to get a new one tomorrow. This is ridiculous. I’m so sorry.’
‘You could have gotten the number from Crystal, you know.’
‘Oh, well … I suppose I didn’t think of that. But I would have, eventually … if you hadn’t called. I did stop by the apartment today, but you weren’t there.’
‘We were out shopping.’
‘Ah, yes … I figured as much,’ he said, but then there was silence on the line.
‘So, how are you?’ I struggled to find the right question. I wanted to know what he was thinking, how he was feeling—about me, and about us.
‘Yeah, good. And you? How was the flight from Perth?’
‘Fine. So, when will I see you?’
‘Do you have plans tomorrow? Can I pick you up and take you for a drive somewhere?’
‘That would be nice,’ I replied, trying to hide the fact that I was still feeling let down that he hadn’t called.
‘Okay, let’s say around ten o’clock? I’ll pick you up and we can go for a drive. Would you like to go over to Williamstown? Remember that beach we went to—just before you left? It’ll be quiet there.’
Did I remember the beach? I’d only thought about it nearly every day for the past three years—picturing us sitting there as we said our last goodbyes. ‘Perfect. I want to go for a run in the morning so that gives me time to come home and shower afterwards. I’ll wear something warm this time. Downstairs at ten o’clock it is.’
‘Great. And Lili, I really am sorry about the phone. There’s a place in Elizabeth Street that’s open late. I’ll go right now, and get a new one.’
‘Okay. You know … I’ve really missed you,’ I said, the last bit of resentment now gone. I mean, it didn’t matter who called who just so long as I could be with him tomorrow.
‘And I’ve missed you too,’ he said and his voice sort of trailed off like he was going to say more, but he didn’t.
After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke again, ‘Sleep well, my love. I’ll see you in the morning.’
‘Alright then. Good night.’
~ Chapter Thirteen ~
I’d never been one to focus on clothes, so this sudden obsession surprised me. But I hadn’t seen Sam for almost three years. It was probably best if I made some effort to make a good impression. Where had I heard that? Debs had said it, of course. But it was true, wasn’t it?
After going through every piece of clothing I had with me, I finally put on a pair of black jeans and a rust coloured pullover sweater and my oldest runners. Debs mightn’t approve, but I felt right. Besides, we were just going to the beach.
Finally, at five minutes to ten, I grabbed my black hoodie and made my way downstairs. As I walked through the foyer and out onto the kerb, I could see his black BMW parked in a visitor spot. When he saw me he leaned over and opened the car door from the inside. He called out my name and then a smile lit up his gorgeous face. Balance had been restored to the universe; Sam was still my husband, and that was all that mattered.
~~***~~
It was cold on the beach, but that was to be expected in July. The weather man had said it would be a top of eighteen today, but it was nowhere near that yet. There was low cloud, and although the breeze coming off the water was gentle, it felt icy cold on my face and hands.
As we walked along the beach, the conversation was stilted. He asked all the polite questions about the trip over, and how Ceylona was coping with Mladen’s school. And he wanted to hear the whole story, about what had happened to make me realise she was a dhampira. But he didn’t ask anything about me, or my feelings, or about what I wanted to do now. What I wanted, right now, was for him to put his arms around me and hold me, but he seemed to want to keep his distance.
I kept thi
nking about when we’d first met … and how he’d claimed he didn’t ‘mix’ well with people. Perhaps by not working at the market any longer his people skills had simply deteriorated. But it was me, not some random person. Surely, he could ‘mix’ with me?
As we walked along a bit further I spotted a restaurant part way along the beach, and I headed toward it, hoping it might be open so I could get a hot coffee. When we reached it I could see it was closed, but at least it would provide some protection from the wind, so I headed around the corner.
‘Gees, it’s so cold today,’ I said, shivering a little.
‘Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve got a coat in the back of the car … would you like me to run back and get it?’
‘No, it’s okay. Just let me warm up a bit, here out of the wind.’
‘I’m sorry … about coming here I mean. I’d forgotten how delicate you are. You know it’s all the same to me … hot, cold … doesn’t make any difference. But of course, you feel the cold weather.’
‘Yeah, it’s okay. It’s my fault; I should’ve brought a heavier coat. I know what beaches are like.’ We were still avoiding the real issue. Talking about the weather was such a copout.
We stood there for a few minutes, neither of us talking. The silence was so awkward, and I imagined that I could almost feel his tension. It seemed as if he wanted to touch me, but something was holding him back. Or was that just wishful thinking on my part? Trying to blame his indifference on some external force, rather than admit he might not actually be as attracted to me as he once was.
‘So … have you seen any houses that might, you know, be right for us?’
‘Sorry, I haven’t really looked,’ he replied, looking down at the ground. Was he embarrassed? Was that why he wouldn’t make eye contact?
My throat tightened. He hadn’t had time to look, or didn’t want to look?
‘But you do want to, don’t you? I mean, now that I’m back … you want us to be together again, right?’
‘Yes, of course I do ... I mean, if you do, then I do,’ he stammered, a deep frown creasing his forehead as he spoke.
Deception (Absent Shadows Trilogy Book 3) Page 10
