Not Alone

by Amber Nation

  Not Alone

  Amber Nation

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and events are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2013 Amber Nation

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  Table of Contents

  Title

  Dedication

  Acknowledgements

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Chapter Forty

  Chapter Forty-One

  Epilogue

  Dedication

  To my two beautiful daughters, Alexis and Olivia: follow your dreams as well as your heart and you can achieve anything. I love you two more than anything in this world.

  ~Mommy~

  Acknowledgements

  I first off want to thank all of my readers, Facebook followers, and just everyone who has supported me and encouraged me along the way. I appreciate everyone more than you know! This journey hasn’t been entirely easy but it definitely has been an incredible one. And even though I second guessed myself on a daily basis, you all are ultimately the reason I decided to put my story out there.

  To my husband, Jarrod, who is my biggest supporter, thank you for pushing me to achieve my dream: you are my rock, my best friend, and I know this wouldn’t have been possible without you by my side.

  My girlies, thank you for allowing mommy to work, even though it was more than you both liked. I want to be someone who you can look up to, be proud of and who can show you that it is ok to chase your dreams.

  To my three Beta readers, my three best friends, my three chicas: Melanie Brock, Amanda Evenson, and Keesha McCallum, thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy lives to read my book and giving me honest feedback- no bullshitting. J Thank you for talking sense into me whenever I doubted myself, which was quite often. And overall just thank you for just supporting me, and lending an ear or a suggestion. I am so very lucky to call each one of you my friend. And Keesha, even though we live 18 hours apart, we will reunite again, SOON!

  Thank you to the many talented authors throughout the indie community who kindly offered your support, tips and advice. I greatly appreciate it! It is so surreal to be on this end of it all now. But in the end I am a true indie fangirl. Y’all make me strive to be better. I especially want to point out one Author who went above and beyond my expectations, and ultimately took me under her wing without any questions asked, Andrea Smith. You are a truly gifted author and I’m so glad to call you a friend. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for answering my eleventy billion asinine questions! J I can’t wait to finally meet you at the Chicago event next year, I’ll definitely be fangirling!!

  And to new indie friends, especially Tara Paradise and Delisa Lynn, we newbies gotta stick together! Thank you for the long conversations and advice throughout the way. One of these days I will make it to New York! J

  Many thanks to Robin from Wicked by Design for my fabulous cover, it is absolutely gorgeous and I couldn’t love it more. You are absolutely fabulous! And to my editor, Mary Ann Inabinet and formatter, Erin Volf, through MAI Editing Services, thanks so much!

  And last but certainly not least, a big thanks to all the bloggers who participated in my cover reveal and blog tour, and to Enticing Journey Book Promotions, who hosted everything. Ena Burnette you are so freaking awesome and you truly made everything entirely easy on me. I greatly appreciate everything! THANKS SO MUCH!!!!

  Prologue

  Driving down a dark highway at night, while it was storming, was the icing on top of the proverbial cake as to how my day was going. Things weren’t getting any better at home, which honestly didn’t surprise me one bit. Bryce was currently on one of his tirades, which seemed to be happening more often than not. I don’t know how much more of his constant verbal abuse I could stand. I said I would stay with my husband for the sake of our four year old son, but I couldn’t have Tucker seeing Bryce’s moods shift from horrible one minute to worse the next. It wasn’t healthy for him or me.

  “Dammit, Emmalynne, step on the gas! I would like to get home before the fucking game starts,” Bryce muttered to me in his usual pissed off tone. “I knew I shouldn’t have let you drive. This is just another thing that your fat ass obviously can’t do right.”

  “Bryce, seriously, it’s coming down in sheets out there. I’m not looking to get into an accident.” I knew lashing out towards him wouldn’t help matters any, in fact it may make things worse. I was just so tired of his nasty remarks.

  The streets had already started to flood, making them treacherous. I know I have to find a way to get out of this marriage, I thought to myself. I understood I had taken a vow of until death do us part and to always be by his side, but who was by my side? I was a royal screw up in Bryce’s eyes. I was not allowed to work, he left me a list of ‘chores’ every day and I have to follow the directions to a ‘T’ or else I am under attack. Bryce has never physically put his hands on me, no nothing that would leave a mark. Bryce rendered his pain with words. Considering my father was the ex-Sheriff of Brown County, where we lived in Georgia, Bryce knew a physical mark would land his hind end in jail. Even though Bryce is an utter asshole, Tucker was my ultimate accomplishment, and therefore without Bryce I wouldn’t have Tucker. I don’t know what I would do without that kid.

  The rain picked up even more and I could barely see three feet in front of the car. The car started to slide due to the wetness of the road, causing us to hydroplane. Veering to the right, Bryce reached over me and yanked the steering wheel to the left. “Bryce stop!!!!,” I screamed in a panic, trying to smack his hands away. I tried to correct the car, but it was too late, we were directly in the path of an oncoming semi.

  They say that before you die, you see your entire life flash before your eyes. But not me. I didn’t see scenes from my childhood, I didn’t see the little time I had with my mother, I didn’t see my wedding, and I didn’t see the day my son was born. The only thing I could do was to think of Tucker and hoped to God that he would be alright without either of his parents. I knew that I wasn’t ready to go, but it was looking like the end. B
ut, the fact that my entire life didn’t flash before my eyes, didn’t dawn on me.

  And not even noticing the lack of ‘I love you’s’ coming from either Bryce or myself. Surely that meant something.

  Tires screeching, steel crunching, glass breaking, and then total darkness….

  Chapter One

  5 years later

  Emmalynne

  BEEP BEEP BEEP! Seriously, was it six am already? Not falling into bed until well past two a.m., I was nowhere near rested. But, alas, I had to get things ready for Tucker’s first day of school, as well as get my baking out of the way for the store. That was the typical life of this single mother. My life was predictable, it was safe, and it worked. Getting up from under my cozy fleece covers and throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I begrudgingly did my morning stretches to strengthen my stiff left leg. Ever since the accident, I had to give myself a few extra minutes since I wasn’t able to move quite as fast as I used to.

  Standing at five foot four I, Emmalynne Morgan, was anything but average, with some extra pounds in my midsection. I have always been pretty self-conscious about my weight. After starting my morning routine by showering, I styled my auburn shoulder-length curly hair, put on my deep purple framed glasses, picked out my favorite pair of jeans and my standard band t-shirt. Now I was ready to wake up my crank-pot son.

  Turning on his light, I took in the scene in Tucker’s room. Covers kicked off onto the floor, and one arm draped across his face. He definitely reminded me of his father; he slept exactly like him. Tucker was four when Bryce died. I thought back to that dreadful night that left me with a shattered leg, a widow, and my son fatherless. After several surgeries, the mobility in my left leg was as good as it was going to get. So now, five years later, my son was nine and entering the fourth grade. He didn’t talk about Bryce much, I think this is because the memories he had of him, weren’t positive.

  Bryce was my high school sweetheart and we were practically attached at the hip. Things weren’t always bad with Bryce and me. In the beginning, I thought he was my prince charming. I got pregnant with Tucker at the age of nineteen, it was totally unplanned but we were completely over the moon, well I know at least I was. It was exciting to think we would have a little family.

  Things drastically changed when Tuck turned two and our carefully constructed happiness fell apart. I wasn’t sure if it was the stress of everyday life but, Bryce became distant and extremely cold and callous. He refused to let me work and things had to be completed to his standard. He started drinking heavily, and then came the verbal abuse. I was rarely acknowledged as Emmalynne, it was usually “fat ass” or “fucking cow”, his two favorites. It wasn’t until his funeral that I learned he was cheating on me, which really didn’t surprise me knowing we hadn’t been intimate in well over a year. Before then it was often forced on his part. Apparently it was beneath him to initiate intimate contact with his “fat ass” of a wife. The skank actually had the balls to confront me in front of our friends and family, acting like the grief-stricken wife and not just a piece on the side. The conversation turned extremely heated, and she was ushered right off of the premises. Sometimes it was nice having a Sheriff for a father, even if he was retired.

  So, using Bryce’s life insurance money, I opened our son a nice, hefty college fund to make sure it was well and taken care of, and I bought what would be my bread and butter, the shop that became my bookstore.

  “Tucker it’s time to get up.”

  “Mooommm, I don’t want to get up,” he groaned while stretching out his arms towards the ceiling.

  “Tucker Allan Morgan, you get your cranky hind end up and get dressed for school right now, young man! Once you’ve finished come and get breakfast.”

  ---~~~---

  Driving to the school I reminded Tucker that his poppy would be picking him up and staying with him until I got off of work at five. My father retired Sheriff Sam Johnston, also known as ‘poppy,’ was my son’s best friend. Those two together were a real hoot. Having grown up just the two of us, he was and still is an amazing father. My mother passed away when I was just Tucker’s age from Ovarian Cancer, and not a single day goes by where I don’t miss her. My father took her death pretty hard, but he was always there for me.

  Pulling up in front of my store, I sat and looked around at the entrance. My sign was handmade and completely gorgeous. I had made it to where my store had a homey feel. I wanted everyone to feel comfortable and welcome.

  Fall was just around the corner and soon I would be able to set my Halloween display up in the storefront windows. I absolutely loved fall around Brown County. The festivals and activities would be in full swing in the upcoming months. Brown County, Georgia was a small town and everyone participated in the Annual Fall Harvest Festival. It was amazing to know everyone around town, and everyone was friendly. Of course you have the few rude people who couldn’t take the time to smile much less wave, but for the most part they were all friendly. The downside, everyone knew everyone so, unfortunately, they also knew your business.

  Unlocking the door, I smiled to myself. My heart swells with pride whenever I thought of my store. Turn the Page bookstore was my baby- that was, next to Tucker. Smirking, Tucker would give me his seriously mom glare if he knew I was referring to him as my baby. But to me, he would always be my baby.

  I went about setting up my bakery items for the day, including chocolate cranberry muffins, one of my specialties. My two favorite hobbies included reading and baking, so of course I would incorporate the two, somehow. I would love to put in a coffee bar, but for now, I’m pretty satisfied with my display case showcasing my delicious confections.

  Putting away the stacks of new inventory, I heard the wonderful sound of the over-the-door-bell jingle. My first customer of the day, then I heard said person whistling away and immediately, I knew who it was.

  “Good morning, Toby. And what has got you in such a good mood?”

  “My sweet, sweet Emmalynne, it’s not what rather than WHO?! Yours truly is in love! Love I tell ya! Seriously, Em, I have met the most amazing creature.”

  Giggling at my brother-in-laws over the top theatrics, “Oh, do tell me all about this amazing creature.”

  “He is the new manager at Finnegan’s. Mac is his uncle and he just moved here to help out since Mac is planning on retiring soon. And he is one fine piece of man candy,” Toby gushed as his eyes lit up while explaining about his new man crush. He sighed. “Too bad he is straight… So, what has my favorite sister-in-law baked for me today?” he asked while glancing at my counter height, curved glass, bakery issued display case. He isn’t one for books, but he stopped by every day to get his sugar fix, it was a wonder that he doesn’t weigh a ton.

  Walking behind the counter, I pulled out a muffin and plopped it down on a plate. “Oh Toby, you are so full of it, I am your only sister-in-law! And today it’s my chocolate cranberry muffins.”

  Toby stood at six foot one and had jet black hair, in which he used more product in than both Tess, my other BFF, and I combined. Toby knew his fashion. If I ever were to need fashion advice, Toby would be my first stop, but normally that didn’t happen, because I’m fine in my jeans and t-shirts. Toby Morgan was Bryce’s brother. Bryce never approved of Toby’s sexual orientation, so they were estranged, and he forbade me to talk to him. That didn’t stop me from sneaking in calls to Toby a few times each week. Now, not even a few days went by without us seeing each other. He had come to be one of my closest friends.

  Speaking of best friends, my main partner in crime came barreling in the door.

  “Morning chicas! Oh, muffins, gimme!!”

  Geez, you’d think I was dealing with a bunch of five year olds. But Tessa Monroe had been there through everything with me, my mother passing, the birth of Tuck, and the accident. She was and would always be my rock, my homegirl, my girlie, my….oh, well, you get it.

  “Morning, Tess” I exclaimed as I handed her over a muffin.


  Taking a huge bite Tessa moaned, “OH. MY. GOD! These muffins are sinfully amazing! Emmers, Betty Crocker ain’t got shit on you!”

  And that was Tess, bold, beautiful, and extremely boisterous. Tess was at least three inches taller than me, had beautiful long blonde hair, eyes like the sea, and had the perfect body! She was nothing like me, her being a standard size four and me barely being able to squeeze into a twelve, on a good day.

  “Em you totally should see this new manager working at Finnegan’s with me, he is MEGA HOT!!”

  “Tessa, Toby was just filling me in on Mr. Hottness right before you came rushing in. And anyways, what would Brock think of this admission?”

  Brock was Tessa’s wonderful husband. He looked at Tess like the sun rises and sets with her, like she was something so special. What I wouldn’t give to have someone look at me like that. Bryce used to; back before he turned into a world class asshole, pardon my French. But that’s what dreams were for. I was not looking for love right now; Tucker, my store, and baking are enough….for the moment. I wouldn’t even know how to fall in love again. Who would want someone so overweight and broken, not just my heart, but a mangled leg as well?

  Hearing the ringtone of Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies”, Toby looked down at his phone with a frown while he excused himself to take the call. I rolled my eyes. Of course Toby’s ringtone would be something from his favorite Diva.

  Avoiding the talk of Mr. Hottness, Tessa plopped herself on my counter while stuffing her face with her muffin. “So, how was getting Tucker off to his first day of fourth grade?” Tessa asked with a bit of sadness in her eyes.

  She loved Tucker almost as much as I did. She was mostly there for all of his firsts, except when Bryce tried to keep me away from her. He was exceptionally good at playing the controlling husband. I was a fool for not noticing it sooner, but I had loved him, so I let it blind me. Now nothing would keep her away from my son. They had a special bond, and he absolutely loved her husband, Brock.