Not Alone

by Amber Nation

  I looked down at the table, feeling like a child who had been scolded. “Em, look at me please.” I looked up and his face softened. “You are a beautiful woman, in fact the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You seem to really care about the people around you. I’ve heard Toby and Tessa talk and they think the world of you.”

  Oh dear, this was getting to be a bit heavy. “I’m not beautiful, I’m fat and plain. Please don’t, I’m not looking for sympathy or pity. I know what I am and what I’m not, I mean look at me!” I tried explaining.

  “I am looking at you Emmalynne and I am seeing anything but plain. You have curves where women should have curves. My opinion, I would rather have a nice juicy steak than a bone, and you are a very nice juicy steak.” Waving a hand at me he said, “I know that wasn’t the best example since you aren’t really a piece of meat, but what I’m saying is your gorgeous sweetheart, and I want you. But I also want to know why you think so little of yourself?”

  Moment of truth. “Ok, so Bryce and I were high school sweethearts. Happily in love, I thought that nothing could ever come between us. I ended up getting pregnant with Tucker at the age of nineteen, and during that time we got married. Things were still going great until when Tucker was about two, things started changing. I hadn’t lost all of my baby weight from having Tucker, and, if anything I gained more weight.” I fiddled with the edge of my napkin, not having the courage to look at Grady. I continued on, “Bryce started verbally assaulting me, saying he was ashamed to be seen with me and that I had become a fat ass and a fucking cow. He made me quit working and every morning he would leave me a list of things to do, like I wasn’t capable of cleaning my house or taking care of my son. The night of the accident Bryce started yelling at me because I wasn’t driving the speed he wanted. It didn’t matter that it was raining cats and dogs at the time, so he ended up grabbing the wheel and we ran into a semi. He wasn’t wearing his seatbelt and he ended up flying through the windshield, killed on impact. I on the other hand ended up with broken ribs, a gash on my forehead from the steering wheel, and a shattered kneecap. I’ve had to go through several surgeries, and still I walk with a limp. Some days are better than others, but I will always continue on with a limp. So don’t you see, I am fat and I’m broken.”

  This had taken a big turn away from first date conversation. I was to the point where I was ready to go home. “Can you please take me home?” I asked Grady, losing any semblance of pride I had left. I stood up and left the restaurant.

  I made it halfway to where Grady had parked before he finally caught up with me. Turning me towards him, and rubbing his thumb along my jaw, he said quietly, “Bryce was an asshole. I don’t know what happened to him that made him start abusing you, but he was a complete asshole. He should be thanking his lucky stars that he’s gone, because I would kick his ass if not. We aren’t going to let him ruin our date. I think we have something here but you need to trust me.”

  “Oh, I know what happened to him. Tina…stupid skank, she had the nerve to approach me at Bryce’s funeral. If I was in the right frame of mind that day I would’ve punched her, and that’s not me.”

  Grady chuckled.

  “Do you still feel like continuing our date?”

  “Sure. I guess” I said while shrugging my shoulders.

  He grabbed my hand and started walking down the street. Being that it was September, the leaves were starting to change colors and businesses had started putting out their fall decorations. Walking with him, hand in hand, it felt nice. It actually felt right.

  “I was going to leave him you know.”

  “What?” Grady stopped and turned towards me with an inquiring look.

  “I was going to leave Bryce. If he was still alive I would have packed up Tucker and myself and left. I took vows to be with him until death do us part, and I was going to break them. What kind of person does that make me? Here he was dying and all I thought about the week beforehand was breaking our marriage vows.” Tears started running down my face. “I’m not worthy of you Grady.”

  “Shhh,” he put his finger to my trembling lips. “He might have been your husband but he treated you like shit. You should be given the world. You deserve everything and more Emmalynne.” At this time Grady’s eyes were full of raw passion. Panting, I yanked his head to mine and took his lips in a searing kiss. Communicating what I was beginning to feel for him through that kiss.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Grady

  The rest of the walk was uneventful. I didn’t know what she would think about what I had in store yet. What I really wanted to do was take her home and ravage her, but I would wait until she was ready. Until she knew that I wasn’t going anywhere. She needed that reassurance.

  I liked holding her hand, which kind of made me sound like a bit of a pussy, but I didn’t mind. The contrast of her soft hands against my rough, overworked hands, it just made me feel like this was exactly where I was supposed to be.

  Noticing something, not only tonight but since I’d met her: everyone seemed drawn to Emmalynne. I knew she didn’t realize the affect she had on people; to her it probably was just normal. After our intense conversation over dinner I could see just how special she was. In just a short amount of time she had woven her way into my heart.

  Just the other day, I saw her help an elderly couple pick up groceries that had fallen out of their bags. Rushing out of her store, just to help them out, and doing it while wearing a smile.

  She was an asset to the community and was known and loved by all. She always seemed to put others first, and then degraded herself. What the hell had that bastard Bryce been thinking, to throw that love away and be such an asshole to her?

  Then, when she actually pulled me towards her and initiated the kiss on the sidewalk, I wanted to relive the moment over and over again, when her soft, full lips melted against mine.

  Stopping in front of Gus’ Guns, Emmalynne looked towards me, her eyes questioning.

  “What are we doing at Gus’ Grady?”

  “Emmalynne, I want to teach you how to shoot a gun.”

  “But, Grady…”

  “No buts,” I said, interrupting her midsentence. “I just want to take you to shoot at a few targets, nothing much. And another time, if you are up to it, I’d like to teach you some self-defense moves. After what happened last night, I don’t think you could be too prepared.”

  Displaying an amused smile on her lips she just quickly said, “Alright.”

  Walking in the door of Gus’, I took in my surroundings. Looking around I saw wall to wall display cases filled with scopes, ammunition, and handguns. The guns hanging on the back wall were more my style, military issued and shotguns. I could have a field day in here. But we were on a mission.

  We approached the counter where a short, round bald man was standing with a huge smile on his face. Getting ready to speak, he beat me to it.

  “Hey there, Emmy!” he boasted, coming around the counter and enveloping Emmalynne in a hug.

  “Hey Gus! I believe we are here to make use of your indoor firing range this evening.” Directing her hand towards me then to Gus, “Gus, this is my date Grady Finnegan. Grady, this is Gus Whittaker. His wife, Rose, works for me at Turn the Page.”

  “Ah, Mac Finnegan’s nephew. Pleased to meet you,” he said with his hand outstretched towards mine.

  Gus got us set up with eye and headgear, as well as targets, a gun and ammunition. Then he led us down the hallway to our individual station within the range.

  I placed my hands on Emmalynne’s hips to pull her towards me so I could get her ready. Loving the stunned reaction she was giving me, I placed the protective eyewear on her eyes, over her glasses. I planted a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose and then I handed over the headgear so she could get it situated.

  I began by showing her how to load the ammo into the clip and pointing out various parts of the gun, just to make her a little more knowledgeable with what she was dealing with. Through
out the entire demo she looked about ready to burst out laughing,

  “Emmalynne, this is serious, nothing funny about it.” I continued with my demonstration and shot a few rounds into the target. I quickly replaced the target and let her try it out. “Now, this is a small weapon so it won’t give a big kick. You’ll need to make sure your hand is steady and just squeeze the trigger back towards you. Don’t feel discouraged if you don’t hit the target right away, that’s what practice is for.”

  She took the gun and, before she pulled the slide back to load a bullet into the chamber, she looked at me and asked, “Where would you like me to try and aim?”

  “You want to go either for the chest or the head.”

  She cupped her left hand under the outside of her right hand, which was encasing the gun, aims and fires all fifteen rounds quickly. Her stance actually made it look like she knows what she was doing, and she looked fucking hot. How crazy was that, she was turning me on by firing a gun. She placed the gun on the counter, took off her earphones and pushed the button that sent her target flying back towards us. She took the target off and turned to show me with a cocky smirk on her face.

  Five holes were perfectly within the outline of the head and nine holes graced the chest, tightly grouped. The last hole was on the outside of the silhouette. That’s what the smirk was for, and her trying to interrupt me earlier, she knew what she’s doing.

  “I’m impressed, sweetheart. And I’m sorry I didn’t let you get to finish what you were trying to tell me earlier, which was that you knew how to shoot, huh?” I let out a little laugh as I ran my hand over the back of my head.

  “Yup!” she said, rather proud of herself, as she should be. “I don’t know if you forgot, but my father was the Sheriff in this town for over thirty years. I also know self-defense but,” her smile quickly faded, “I’ve never been in that situation before so I was so completely stunned. My experience flew out the window, along with my stomach.”

  I tried to take her target from her, but the way I took it resulted in a paper cut in between my index finger and thumb. “Son of a bitch,” I shouted. Those suckers hurt like a bitch.

  Emmalynne took my hand to assess the cut. “You’re bleeding, you need a band-aid.” She turned to her purse then, realizing that she doesn’t have her Mary Poppins bag with her, retorted, “See THIS is why I carry that huge ass bag! But no, no one can understand that, and they all feel the need to make fun of me.” She acted all pissed while placing her hands on her hips and shifting all of her weight to her right leg, pushing out her hip.

  I can’t help it. I throw my head back on a laugh. She was damn cute whenever she was riled up and rambling. “Sweetheart, it’s ok. Nothing to get excited about, I’ll just go clean it up in the bathroom.”

  I hear her mumble a “whatever” under her breath as I head to the bathroom.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Emmalynne

  The ride back to my house was shared in comfortable silence. Besides the heavy conversation at dinner, this had been an amazing first date. I loved seeing the dumfounded look on Grady’s face when I brought up my target. He was definitely stunned.

  Bringing myself out of my thoughts, I realized we were sitting in my driveway. Looking to the left, where Grady was seated, I noticed he was staring at me.

  “Where were you just now?”

  “Sorry, I was just thinking back about how I thought this was a great date. Thank you for that Grady.”

  “Not necessary, but if you wanted to thank me you could do it by coming over to my place tomorrow and having lunch with me,” he said with a smile on his face.

  He was asking me on a second date? YAY! I was doing my inner happy dance. That meant he thought the date went well also! “Sure, sounds good. I have to run by the store in the morning to drop off something sweet, and get Tucker from his grandparents’ tomorrow evening, but I’m free all afternoon.”

  We got out of the truck and he held my hand on the walk to my front door. My nervous jitters were returning. Will he try and make a move, do more than kiss me? Do I want him to?

  Sensing my discomfort, he took my keys out of my hands and proceeded to open my door.

  “Would you like to come in for a bit?”

  “Emmalynne, I don’t think-“

  I immediately cut him off, “Oh, I almost forgot. I made you something.” Rushing into my kitchen he followed me. I picked up the apple pie that I had made and presented it to him. “It’s nothing much, but I just wanted to show my appreciation for saving me last night.”

  He leaned down to take a whiff. “Is it apple?”

  “Yes, is that okay?”

  “Sweetheart, it’s more than okay. You really didn’t need to do this, but I guarantee it’ll be the best damn apple pie I’ve ever eaten.”

  Feeling my cheeks become inflamed, he took the pie from my hands and set it down on the counter. He shuffled me around until my back was pressed up against that very same counter and placed his hands on either side of me.

  He took one hand and gently swept some of my unruly hair back from my forehead. Then he let his hand rest against my jaw, his thumb rubbing softly against my cheekbone.

  I jumped at this intimate gesture and not to mention, so did other parts of my anatomy.

  He took my lips in another scorching kiss, but this time it was slow. Taking the initiative, I lightly traced my tongue along his lips. He opened his mouth and that was all the invitation I needed. The kiss turned needy and in that moment, I wanted this man, needed him more than my next breath.

  Somewhere in the distance I heard a phone ring. It wasn’t one of my ringtones so I tried to ignore it. Grady broke the kiss as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. Looking at the screen, a look of panic crossed his face. He quickly masked it with a blank expression. Well, nothing like a bucket of ice being poured on my new found libido. The fire I felt inside was quickly replaced by humiliation.

  Silencing his phone, he rested his forehead against mine. Both of our eyes closed. “I should be going. I’ll see you tomorrow, say eleven? I’ll text you my address. Thank you for the apple pie. Sweet dreams, Emmy Lou.” Once I opened my eyes, he was already out the door. Worrying about what just happened, I didn’t even notice that he had called me Emmy Lou.

  On autopilot, I made my peanut butter brownies for the store tomorrow and then quickly went to bed.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Emmalynne

  After tossing and turning all night, I finally gave up around five and decided to get ready and head for the store.

  This gave me time to think about my life and if I truly wanted to try and let another man in, only to possibly end up with my heart broken.

  I sent Toby and Tessa each a text telling them I was at the store and to come once they were ready. I knew they were expecting a recap of last night and I was sure I would be in for an earful since I didn’t text them last night.

  Putting away all of the new inventory, so Rose and Miles wouldn’t have to deal with it later, I set about decorating my window display for fall.

  Arranging a scarecrow and several different sized pumpkins, I looked up and out the window, practically jumping out of skin. Toby was standing on the outside of my store with his hands full of coffee from The Coffee Cup, our favorite coffee place. Which was yet another reason I wouldn’t put in a coffee bar; I didn’t want to take any business away from Agnes, the owner. He was flashing his mega-watt, bright white smile, showcasing his dimples.

  Rolling my eyes, I prepared myself for the interrogation that was about to transpire.

  “Hey doll! I was so excited when you didn’t text last night ‘cause that meant he stayed over and you finally got some,” I tried to interrupt him. “But, the way you are looking right now, like someone kicked your puppy, I’m guessing that was a no go.”

  “Toby, can we just wait until Tess is here so I only have to relive this once?” I asked, secretly wishing I didn’t have to relive it at all.

  “Th
at bad, huh?”

  “No, yes, I don’t know.”

  “Well, in the meantime, here is your very first pumpkin spice latte of the season. Agnes sends her love. I’m going to fix your display because those pumpkins are spaced all wrong,” he said with a frown, while waving his hands.

  Toby often talked with his hands, and by often, I meant all the time. You never got in his way when he was decorating so I just saved my breath on that. I had learned that the hard way; he never backed down on his so called decorating expertise.

  When I first bought the store and was decorating, I wanted soft, light colored seating. Toby wanted dark and warm. We fought for days and ultimately he won and I ended up with a few simple Palmer sofas in a deep red. And, it actually worked really well in the store. So, from then on I just let him go about his decorating.

  Nearly a half an hour and one yummy pumpkin spice latte later Tessa strolled in. Being it was only eight in the morning, on a Sunday, she looked like hell. Dark circles shadowed her eyes, and her usual styled hair had been thrown up in a messy bun atop her head.

  “Honey, you look like you were rode hard and put up wet.” Toby didn’t sugarcoat anything.

  “Yeah, well, I closed the bar since Grady was off, and then Brock and I partook in an all-night sexathon. And when I finally closed my eyes to go to sleep it was only to be woken up by Em’s text at the ass crack of dawn.”

  “Well, excuse me for having a crisis. Not all of us have such an over active sex life.” I was getting really frustrated. “No one said you had to come, in fact I’d rather not talk about last night at all.” Now I was yelling, which was quite unusual for me, but seemed to be happening more and more as of late.

  “Oh Emmy, I’m sorry. I’m just cranky. Brock and I are trying for a baby, and all this sex is taking its toll.”