Not Alone

by Amber Nation

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Toby

  Emmalynne was still holed up in her room, crying her eyes out. Tucker was so worried about his mom, he had no idea what to do. I offered to keep him last night and take him trick-or-treating today while Tessa stayed with Em.

  Tessa was now at work and, since she walked out yesterday, she had to work today. So we enlisted the help of Mikey and our new bass player, Charlie. Charlie was kind of freaked to be volunteered to go to a woman’s house, one he hadn’t met yet, to watch over her and made sure she ate.

  Mikey didn’t mind one bit. He loved Emmalynne, we all did, like a sister. She was always there for us, so it was now our turn to be there for her.

  Tucker and I walked up and down the streets of Brown County so he could collect his candy.

  Approaching the bar, I didn’t want to go in, but I knew Tuck would want to see his Auntie Tess. He had dressed up as one of his favorite Avengers, so he wanted to show off his costume, which Emmalynne had made.

  Now, I knew it wasn’t the wisest thing to bring a kid into a bar, but Mac always set up a table out front, had it decorated, and dressed up himself. This year he was a scarecrow.

  “Hey Mac,” Tucker called out as we approached him.

  “Hey there Tucker! Are you getting a good haul this year?”

  “Heck yeah! Uncle Toby is taking me around this year, because mom…uh…she isn’t feeling too well today.” Tucker was such a sweet kid.

  “Hey Mac, Tess in there? Tuck wanted to run in and say hi real quick,” I asked Mac.

  “Yeah, she’s in there, not in the best mood, but there are only a few customers in there right now, so head on in.”

  Opening up the door and stepping inside, you could feel the tension emanating the room. I located Tess right away and she was giving her famous death glare to one asshole, Grady Finnegan.

  Tucker took off running towards Tess, well, he was running towards her, but he bypassed Tessa and went straight up to Grady.

  Hustling up towards Tucker, I would run, but one does not run in their Cole Haan Saddle Loafers, heaven forbid they get scuffed. I made it just in time to hear the conversation.

  “Hey buddy,” Grady said to Tucker.

  “Don’t you buddy me! You made my mom cry! She hasn’t even gotten out of bed since yesterday, how could you do that to her? How could you make her cry?!” Tucker screamed at Grady, starting to get teary eyed. I went to console him only to end up having to catch him as he tried to lunge for Grady.

  Giving Tessa an apologetic look and Grady my own version of Tessa’s death glare, I took Tucker out of the bar, but not before turning around and giving Grady a little piece of my mind. “You are extremely lucky that there are little eyes and ears in here right now, because if not I would really show you what for, you prick.” And with that, marched straight back to Tucker.

  “Come on Tuck, I think it’s time to go check in on your mom,” I told him while ruffling up his hair.

  Such a sweet kid, that Tucker, defending his mother like that. He would be a great man.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Emmalynne

  It had been two long and exhausting days since that disturbing image of Grady kissing another woman was seared into my brain.

  I hadn’t moved from my bed except to use the bathroom. I was pretty sure I stunk, and I knew for a fact that my hair looked like a bird took up residence in it. I hadn’t eaten, even though everyone keeps trying to shove food down my throat, literally. And I can’t sleep. Each and every single time I closed my eyes, I saw him wrapped up in that brunette bombshell.

  It wouldn’t hurt so much if she wasn’t so beautiful. Wait, what am I saying? Of course it would hurt just as much. She was everything I was not: tall, beautiful, legs for days, and not an ounce of fat on her. She was more Grady’s type than I was.

  I’ve cried so much that I honestly didn’t think I had any tears left. I knew sooner rather than later I was going to have to quit wallowing in my misery, no matter how hard that might be.

  I had to do it for Tucker. He didn’t deserve to see me like this, especially over a man. I was not really setting a good example for my son.

  Yeah, it was about time that I picked myself up, put on my big girl panties, and went about my life. But first thing’s first, I really needed a shower.

  My bedroom door burst open and in stormed in a very serious looking Toby, Tessa, Brock, Mikey, and Charlie.

  Staring at them, I wondered what would come out of their mouths, because anything was possible with this bunch.

  Tessa decided she would be the first one to speak. Putting her hand on her hip, and stating in an authoritative tone, she said, “We all think it’s time for you to get your ass up and get on with your life.”

  The others nodded in agreement. Toby chimed in, “Yes, you’ve been in here wallowing long enough, and you look like hell. You’re lucky I don’t throw your ass in the shower, clothes and all.” I just sat there, letting them all say their piece.

  Brock was next, pointing towards the living room. “You have a little boy out there, sitting on the couch, wondering when his mom will quit crying. He’s scared shitless because he wants to protect you and doesn’t know how.”

  Mikey was next, “Yeah, he tried beating up Grady on Halloween. I heard he got right up in his face and…” he trailed off while looking to the others, who each had their own version of Tessa’s death glare pointed right at him.

  Turning my attention to Toby, I narrowed my eyes. “We will be discussing that.” I pointed to Mikey, referring to what he just said, “later.”

  No one had told me about Tucker confronting Grady on Halloween, but then again I wasn’t exactly in the right state of mind to even listen if they had tried to tell me.

  Charlie just stood there, minding his own business. My guess was they all had made him come in, and he was so new to the band, he didn’t want to refuse. I think he might have been here another time within the past two days, but I wasn’t paying attention.

  I took my time, looking at each and every one of them. Studying their stances, which were prepared for a fight, and looking at their faces, which they all definitely had their game faces on. I simply shrugged my shoulders and said, “Ok,” as I got up off of my bed, a little shaky at first, trying to get my balance in my left leg.

  Tessa continued on, “Emmalynne, come on don’t you think it’s…wait…what? Did you just say ok?” She looked confused now.

  I took a deep breath, let it out, and said, “I had just finished deciding that it was time for me to get up and go about my life, if not for me, then for Tucker. I appreciate y’all for coming here and taking time out of your lives to help me pick up mine. It was totally selfish of me to behave like this, but I’m just so hurt, and I miss him so much. I know I shouldn’t but I do.”

  I was wrong, there were still tears left and they were welling up in my eyes. “I tried dating again, fell in love, and was made a complete fool of. So, hey, the joke’s on me. Lesson learned. I have everything and everyone I need under this roof, well except for the Bookstore, and Miles and Rose.” I was rambling, “Anyways, thank you guys for being here for me, y’all are absolutely amazing.” Tears were streaming down my face as my bottom lip started to tremble.

  Tucker came flying into my room, straight towards me, and wrapped his arms around me in the biggest hug. Cradling his head in my arms, he said, “I love you so much, mom.” My heart completely melted. How had I become so lucky to have such a wonderful son? I looked up towards Toby and Tessa, through tear-filled eyes. “It’s moments just like this that I live for, nothing else matters.” Whispering to Tucker, I said, “How did I get so lucky to become your mom? You are my whole heart, Tuck.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Emmalynne

  Day three post -Grady and I was back in my store. One thing I could say was that Grady didn’t give up easily. Once I retrieved my cell phone, charged it because it had long since died, I received countle
ss text messages and phone calls, all asking for me to hear him out.

  After my very long and very hot shower, I walked out into the living room, where it looked like a flower shop had exploded. Several deliveries from Grady, all of them said the same thing: Please hear him out.

  Tessa finally got to tell me her version of what went down when she stormed into the bar after Grady and BB, -Brunette Bombshell-, and honestly, to have been a fly on the wall. She also mentioned that she dropped the F bomb a little too freely, but didn’t show any remorse about it.

  Toby informed me about Tuckers little confrontation with Grady, and my heart swelled just thinking of my little man defending his mommy, even if it wasn’t the right thing to do.

  I even got to chat a little with Charlie, the newest member of The Nation’s Capital. Charlie Hennings had just recently moved to Brown County from Arizona. He was extremely tall, taller than Grady, and extremely handsome, but not nearly as much as Grady. I knew, comparing him to Grady didn’t help things, but no matter what, he still had my heart.

  Charlie had black, messy hair that looked like his hands had run through it a time or two too many, but it definitely worked for him. Hidden behind his steely gray eyes, was sadness. That was the first thing I noticed when formally introduced to him, post-zombie haze. Even though my eyes were still abnormally puffy, I could recognize the sadness lurking in the depths of his eyes. They said that the eyes were the windows to the soul, and I was sensing a story there.

  Which brought me to the present. I came in bright and early, loaded down with lots of baked goods, which I had stayed up late making. I had several things to catch up on while I was out.

  I owed Rose and Miles a lot for pulling together and running the store for the past two days.

  The customers were especially happy to have me back, but it wasn’t because of my smiling face. It was forced, but it was there. They had missed my baking. And I did as well. Two days not baking was the longest I’d ever went in the four years since my Bookstore had been open. Now, to most people that really didn’t seem like a lot, but for me it was an eternity.

  Within the first hour of the store opening, Rose pulled me aside to shed some light on my current situation.

  First she pulled me in for a long, grandmotherly hug. She pulled back while keeping her arms secure on my shoulders, and said, “Emmalynne, that boy has been perched outside of the store for the past three days now, waiting to get a glimpse of you.” She had released one hand from my shoulder, and pointed towards the front of the store. Following her finger, sure enough Grady was slumped against a pole, on Franklin St., right outside of my store.

  “Now, that isn’t the type of behavior of a man who intended to cheat on you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and dear, that boy is in love.”

  “Rose, what are you getting at here?”

  “Em, my point is, maybe you saw what you wanted to see. You think you aren’t worthy enough for him, which is pure blasphemy, but maybe just maybe you thought you saw him kiss her, so it would justify your logic. I think you should truly let him speak his piece, and see that this was all just a big misunderstanding.”

  “Thank you Rose for your concern, but that’s something that I will have to think about. I opened my life and my heart and he threw it away like it was nothing.”

  Walking up to the door of the store, I looked out the window as I pulled my cell phone from my back pocket. Opening my contacts list, I scrolled down to the name which I was looking for and pressed call. All the built up tension from the last few days caused me to snap. Now, I felt like kicking ass, and taking names. After just two rings, the person picked up and I said with no emotion whatsoever, “Ethan, this is Emmy. Could you possibly come to the store and personally tell Grady Finnegan to stop loitering in front of my door?” Listening to his response in the affirmative, I hung up the phone. Boom! That’ll teach you to play games with my heart Grady Finnegan.

  Taking a deep breath, I gave myself a moment to muster up my courage before I took a giant leap, in the direction of closure, so I could move on. I turned the knob to the door, pulling it towards me, stepped out my store, and walked directly towards Grady.

  He perked up as I walked closer to him, and I took a second to memorize the features of his beautiful face. He looked ragged; deep dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn’t slept in days. His normally clean shaven face was scruffy with several days of growth. He looked remorseful and what was worse, was the spark was out in his eyes. His normally glistening sapphire eyes now looked like dead puddles of blue. Why does he look like I felt? He was the one who did this to us.

  I stopped two feet away from him, not trusting myself to get any closer without immediately jumping into his arms. He opened his mouth to speak and I quickly started, “No, you will stand there and listen to what I have to say.” My tone was not friendly. He looked visibly shocked at the force of the words that came out. I stopped for a minute to carefully choose the next words that came out of my mouth. “It took me five years to let someone in again and you made me fall in love with you. But you sure were quick to throw it back in my face.”

  “Emmaly-“

  “Let me finish,” I barked out. I was about to go momma bear, times ten, “You didn’t just betray me, you also betrayed my son. It was one thing for you to make me fall in love with you, but you made Tucker fall in love with you as well. He is trying his best to be strong for me, so brave and strong, but I can see it in his eyes, that his heart is also broken.” Grady looked down towards the ground before looking back to me, with what appeared to be tears welling in his eyes, but I wasn’t finished. “You were selfish, so now it’s my turn. You had my heart, and you didn’t take care of it. You didn’t just break my heart, you shattered it, and now I’d like it back.” I was on the verge of tears myself, but I was trying my hardest to hold them back until I was in the privacy of my own office. “You have about five minutes to get away from the front of my store before the Sheriff’s Department shows up and removes you for loitering.” I whirled away and rushed back into the store, bypassing an open-mouthed Rose, straight into my office, and burst into tears.

  Chapter Thirty

  Emmalynne

  It was officially one week post-Grady. I’d already been scolded by Toby for counting the days, but I felt like a lonely loser. I found myself parked in a booth at Finnegan’s to watch The Nation’s Capital perform.

  Tonight was Charlie’s first performance, so Tessa begged me to come along so she didn’t have to sit by herself, since she wasn’t working.

  Even though I really wanted to, I couldn’t refuse. Everyone had been there for me during the past week, so it was my turn to do the same.

  I made it a point not to drink anything alcoholic tonight because I needed my wits about me and to be on my game, especially if Grady tried to talk to me. I didn’t need anything else clouding my judgment any further, the nearness of Grady did that already.

  Come to think of it Tessa wasn’t drinking either and she normally drank like a fish, constantly throwing them back.

  “Tess, why aren’t you drinking tonight?”

  “Oh, uh, my stomach isn’t feeling very settled.”

  Hmm. I was not sure if I bought that, especially since she wasn’t meeting my eyes. I decided to drop it for now, because staring at me from behind the bar was Grady. He utterly took my breath away. It was simply not fair.

  I took it, by the way he was watching me, that he had just noticed I was there.

  When Tess and I came in, it was Mac behind the counter, and Grady was nowhere in sight. I preferred it that way.

  His gaze traveled from my head to my torso, since that’s all that was showing, considering I was sitting down. Even from this distance, I could see the confusion flare in his eyes. I had to quickly look away to keep my body in check.

  His gaze did something to me. And to think I believed him when he said he thought I was special. It was all some kind of game to him. With anger coursing th
rough my veins, I decided to focus my attention on our guys setting up on stage.

  Toby came out to do his introductions. “Hello everyone!! As you all know, I’m Toby, and we have Brock on guitar,” he said while motioning to Brock, who was at his side. “And Mikey, on the drums.” He threw his thumb back towards Mikey who was perched on his stool. “But I would like to introduce you to our newest member, Charlie Hennings, on bass guitar.” Charlie did a dramatic bow, and Tess and I erupted in screams. “And we are The Nation’s Capital.” Now the crowd joined us in our screams, they loved the band almost as much as us. Almost.

  The band was on point tonight and Charlie kicked ass. Corbin was good at the bass, but Charlie was freaking outstanding.

  Toby had told me earlier in the day that his throat was feeling sore, and you could tell it was bothering him more and more as he continued to sing.

  “Ok everybody, I’m done singing for the night,” he said into the microphone, his voice sounding hoarse. “But, if it’s alright with you, we’ll have Emmy come up and sing one last song, how about that?”

  The crowd was cheering, but I wasn’t paying attention, as I had my brows furrowed, giving Toby my version of Tessa’s death glare.

  Not being one to disappoint, especially when it wasn’t even my band, I reluctantly moved from my seat within the crowd and made my way towards the stage.

  Reaching Toby, he pulled me in for a quick hug, and whispered in my ear, “Pick any song you want and make it count.”

  He was giving me my chance to show Grady what for. Bless his flamboyant heart.

  He wandered off the stage and into my seat next to Tessa.

  Looking around the bar and locking eyes with one Grady Finnegan, I knew exactly what I was going to sing.

  I relayed my song choice to the guys, who were reluctant at first but then eventually nodded their heads in agreement.