by West, Sinden
“Is that what you’ve heard from his psychiatrists or from him?”
I scowled at him. “You know, you don’t have to act so self-righteously. I’m just asking for a loan so I can get my car back. I’m not asking for the earth!”
Terrence shook his head, sadly. “I’m sorry, Jessie. I am. But if I lend you money then Ewan will never get off his ass and help you out of this bind. I know he had mental issues, but you need to be firm with him. I know it’s hard with the threat of suicide–”
“Oh, stop,” I told him in disgust. “Just stop.” I walked out the door and down the street, finally taking a seat at the bus stop. I buried my face in my hands for a moment, scared that I might cry.
“Jessica.”
I raised my head to see Joseph standing over me. I frowned at him. “What do you want?” I asked, sullenly.
“I’ll give you a ride home. Come on.”
My mouth went dry for a moment before I slowly stood and went with him without argument. Because I needed a ride home, plus I just wanted to be near him.
His car was a black Lexus and I sunk gratefully into the leather seats. “I live in the apartments on the corner of–”
“I know where you live, Jessica. I don’t live in isolation. You and Ewan are quite the talk of the town, you know?” He gave a small laugh. “Two rich kids now struggling.” He flicked a quick glance at me from the corner of his eye. “You know how the rest of us love to rejoice in the destruction of others.”
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. “Maybe I’ll just take the bus.”
“No.” He pulled the car into the parking lot of a diner. “Get out. I’ll buy you dinner.”
I followed him warily in. He still seemed so hostile toward me, but he wanted to buy me dinner? What was with that?
We took a seat at the booth. I opened my mouth to give the waitress my order, but Joseph cut in. “I’m paying. I’ll order for us.”
Then he turned to the waitress and flashed her a grin. “Two burgers and fries, and a couple of cokes.”
“I still don’t eat that shit,” I told him after the waitress left.
He gave me a smile. “I know. But I’m the one paying here so you’ll eat what I want.”
“No way.” I grabbed my bag to go, but his hand latched on hard to my knee under the table.
“Ow.” But his hand didn’t loosen.
“You’ll sit there and eat it. If you do, I’ll give you the money to get your car back.”
My mouth dropped open. “I don’t want to borrow money from you.”
“It’s not a loan. I’d be giving it to you.”
I flushed. “I don’t want that either,” I said, lamely.
“You might not want it, but it sounds like you need it.” He released my knee. “All you have to do is sit there and eat what I ordered for you.”
I struggled to get my thoughts straight. Was he serious? If I could clear the arrears on that loan, then I could start making up the rent I’d missed. “Fine,” I said, softly.
He leaned back, smiling. “You know I get the whole food thing. It’s about control for you, isn’t it? It’s the one thing that you can control when there’s very little else in your life which goes the way you want it too.”
I didn’t answer him, and we sat in silence until our food came. I stared at my greasy burger, the smell alone was enough to make me wretch.
“I can’t eat all that. I’ll vomit.”
Joseph shrugged. “So you’ll vomit, then. Get started.”
I swallowed and took the messy burger in my hands. I took the first hesitant bite, it was small and I made a face at the fat in my mouth. I chewed it thirty times before I could swallow it down. It swirled around my stomach dangerously and I dropped the burger.
“I can’t.”
“You will, Jessica.” His hand latched on painfully to my knee again. “If you want the money, you will.”
I had eaten exactly half of the burger before it sent me running to the bathroom to vomit. When everything had violently exited my stomach, I wiped my mouth and unsteadily got to my feet. Joseph was standing outside, keys in hand.
“Ready to go?” he said, casually. I followed him back to his car, closing my eyes and still feeling sick as he drove me home. He said not a word, and I only opened my eyes once I felt the car come to a stop outside my shitty apartment complex.
He was staring straight ahead, not looking at me. “So, do I get the money now?” I asked, feeling pathetic and desperate, which I was.
He turned his head slowly to face me. “I’m afraid not, Jessica. You didn’t eat the whole thing.”
I slapped him. It stung my hand and left a red mark on his face, but he didn’t seem upset. “You’d better get going. I’m sure your husband is waiting for you.”
I glared at him before getting out of the car. I was shaking with fury.
Ewan was having a party when I got home. Although perhaps party was the wrong word. It was a bunch of guys sitting around in my tiny living room and getting drunk. They’d been drinking for a while going by the amount of beer bottles that littered the carpet.
I stood in the doorway looking every bit the angry wife.
“Hey, darling!” Ewan called to me, a huge drunken smile on his face. He looked happier than he had been for a long time, and my heart softened slightly.
“I’m taking a shower,” I said, walking past them.
“Wait! I haven’t introduced you. There are some of the guys that I met in the hospital.”
I gave them all a tight smile as I walked past. Great, more people with mental issues in my life. I stood under the shower and let the water rain down on me, maybe they’d all be gone by the time I came out. But they weren’t. I still heard their drunken laughter as I walked to the bedroom. I shut the door behind me and sat on the bed. A few minutes later the door opened.
Ewan poked his head in, he was carrying a couple of shot glasses and a bottle of tequila. “Hey, babe.”
“Hey.”
He sat down beside me after placing the liquor on the night stand. “You’re mad.”
“The car got repossessed today, and I can’t afford to get it back.” My voice started to break.
He stayed still for a moment before pulling me into his arms. I buried my head in his chest, welcoming his warmth and comfort. It was nice to be held like this after Joseph’s actions. He rubbed his hands on my back. “It’ll be okay, Jessie. I promise.” He lifted my head up and planted a kiss on my lips.
“Come on, do some shots with me. You need to cheer up,” he coaxed. I readily accepted the shot he poured and tipped it down my throat like it was water. I promptly offered my glass up for a refill. We did shot after shot, alone in our bedroom while strangers drank in the living room. The shots hit me hard and I had to lie down.
Ewan kissed me. “Happy now?”
“Happy now,” I said in a drunk murmur.
“I love you.” His lips were on my neck. “I’d do anything to make you happy.”
“Really? I would do anything to make you happy, too.” I felt my lips turn up into a smile.
“You know what I want, Jessie.” My top was being tugged up, revealing my bra. He straddled me, kissing my cleavage as he worked my breasts free from the bra. “You’re so beautiful. Do you know how hard it makes me when I think of you fucking another guy in front of me?” His lips went to my nipple and I moaned, despite the alarm bells that were ringing in my head. His attentions were so sensual in a way that they hadn’t been in a long time. I had missed this…
“Please, Jessie? Just say yes. This’ll be exciting for both of us.” My skirt was being pulled off and his fingers danced lightly over my panties. I arched my body up, desperate for more of his touch. “Please, Jessie?” He was rubbing harder now, and all I wanted was for him to rip off my panties and fuck me. But he wouldn’t. He would just keep going like this until I agreed. He seemed so happy, and my head was so fuzzy from the tequila. Suddenly, I just felt so tired. It w
as just easier to say yes.
The word came from me, and in an instant he was at the door, yelling for someone called Antonio. I heard footsteps and then Ewan was on the bed with me again. He was pulling me up so I kneeled with my legs straddled, still protected by my panties. Then he sat behind me so I could lean against him.
“Antonio, this is my naughty little wife. She’s hot isn’t she?” Ewan was saying.
Antonio laughed. “She’s hot, alright.” His fingers were dipping into my panties and I flinched away, but Ewan held me tight. “She’s wet too.” Was I? Everything felt muffled and surreal like I wasn’t really there.
“I want you to wrap your lips around Antonio’s cock. Okay, naughty girl?” Ewan whispered in my ear. I could hear the delight and excitement in his voice. He was more alive than he’d been in a long time.
“Okay,” I mumbled. I was tired. So tired. It was just easier this way. I let him guide my head down to take Antonio’s thick cock in my mouth. It had an odor to it, and for a moment I envisaged it as the burger Joseph had forced me to choke down that evening. I imagined biting into it, and then I started to gag as he thrust down my throat. Ewan pulled my head back.
“Choking on his big cock? Naughty girl.” He sounded like something out of a bad porn movie and for a second I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Both of them fucked me. I couldn’t remember who was first, but I ended up with cum on my chest at some stage before I fell asleep.
At least Antonio didn’t stay the night. I woke up just like any other morning with Ewan beside me. Except I felt more disgusting than I ever had before. But maybe not as much as when I had cheated on Joseph…
I showered, dressed, stepped over the drunks asleep in my living room, and made my way to the bus stop. I pulled my phone out and called Ewan. He answered in a sleepy voice.
“Hey, Jessie. It’s so early–”
“That is never happening again! Do you understand me? You’ve had your little porn fantasy so get all that shit out of your system or I’ll kick your ass to the curb. Oh, and by the way, get those mental patients the hell out of my house!” I ended the call before he had a chance to respond.
I kept myself busy at work, that way I didn’t have to think about anything. Ewan rang me just before it was time to go home.
“I just wanted to warn you,” he said.
“About what?”
“We just got an eviction notice. I tried to tap my aunt for some money, I really did. But she says she’s given me enough over the years and the well’s run dry. She’s such a bitch!”
I listened to him rant and rave for a few minutes until he finally took a breath.
“Don’t worry about anything, Ewan. I’ll take care of it.” I ended the call. Out the window, I could see a black Lexus parked outside the diner across the road.
Chapter Twenty-One
I clutched my purse as I crossed the road. I was firmly aware that I would be checking my last shreds of dignity at the door before I entered it. Joseph sat alone in a booth, looking at his phone. For a second, I considered walking out again, but I couldn’t. I needed this. I took a deep breath and walked over to him and slipped into the seat opposite his.
He raised his head slightly to look at me, before casting his eyes back to his phone.
“Jessica, what can I do for you today?” he asked, dryly.
For a second my mouth was dry and I didn’t think I could form the words, but desperate need overcame that. “I need money. A loan.”
My voice came out shaky, and I had to hide my hands under the table because they shook as well. Joseph didn’t even lift his eyes from the phone.
“Why don’t you leave him?” he asked, softly.
I frowned. “What?”
“Why don’t you leave your husband?” he repeated as he typed a message in his phone, his concentration fully on the device instead of me.
I swallowed. “What kind of question is that?”
“A simple one.”
I laced my hands together on my lap before answering. “You don’t just leave people because they have issues. He’s my husband and I love him.”
“How much?” He looked at me now.
“What?” Why was he playing these games?
“How much do you love him?”
“Enough to marry him, obviously.” I leaned back in my seat. “Look, Joseph. I wouldn’t come to you unless I were desperate. We’re getting evicted. Please? I just need–”
He got to his feet. “I have to go. Excuse me.” Then, without a second glance he was walking through the door. I watched him go, the shame and humiliation I felt now was tenfold.
I had to wait half an hour for the next bus. Every weirdo that got on at each stop seemed to want to sit close to me so I hugged my purse to my chest and kept staring out the window as to avoid eye contact with anyone who wanted to initiate conversation. It felt like an eternity before we arrived at my stop. I eased past the guy sitting next to me who had no concept of personal space. He pinched my ass and I didn’t even have the energy to turn around and say something or slap him.
And then when I reached the apartment building, Joseph’s car was parked out front. I stopped and stared at it for a moment before continuing cautiously into the building. I heard Ewan’s voice before I even put my key in the lock. I really hoped that he didn’t have any of his mental patient friends there, especially Antonio or whatever his name was.
Joseph sat there in his smart suit, beer in hand. Ewan sat on the couch wearing a t-shirt and shorts with his arms slung casually over the back of the couch like he didn’t have a care in the world.
“Hey, babe. Wanna beer?” he greeted me, before finishing his own beer. I didn’t respond to him, instead I just stared at Joseph.
“What are you doing here?”
He cocked his head. “You asked for my help.”
Ewan had gotten up and grabbed a couple more beers; he pushed an open one into my hand. I numbly sat down beside him, never taking my gaze from Joseph, and his didn’t leave me either.
“Man, it’s weird that you turned out successful. I never would have picked it for you when we were in high school,” Ewan said, lifting his bottle to his lips.
“What would you have picked for me?” Joseph took a sip of his own beer.
“Prison.” Then Ewan grinned. “No offense or anything.”
“None taken.”
“It’s just that, you know, the circles you ran it. You weren’t exactly most likely to succeed or anything…”
I wanted to tell Ewan to shut up and that he was acting like a dick, but I didn’t. I just sat there numbly.
“Well, we certainly didn’t run in the same circles, did we? Weren’t you prom king or something?”
“Yeah.” Ewan let out a laugh. “Those were fun times. Man, I’d give anything to relive being in high school and not having to worry about anything.” His hand searched for mine, picking it up and squeezing it. “I got the girl, though. That’s the main thing.”
I couldn’t read Joseph’s face as he eyed Ewan and mine’s entwined hands, then he looked over the room we were in and a look of amusement flickered over his face ever so briefly.
“Yes, I guess that’s the main thing,” he said finally, and I had the distinct impression that he was laughing at Ewan, and me too I guessed.
“Anyway, maybe we should talk more about this deal?” Ewan released my hand and leaned forward.
“I don’t lend money to people,” Joseph said. “As Jessica begged me to prior.”
My cheeks heated, but I managed to stay put.
“However, I could possibly offer you both a job–”
“Jessie’s got a job,” Ewan cut in while I sat up straight.
“Yes, but where will she live? She doesn’t seem to be able to afford to pay rent on her salary.”
I cleared my throat. “I haven’t spoken to the landlord yet. Maybe I can talk to him about giving us a break–”
“That won’t happe
n,” Joseph cut in, crisply.
“How do you know?”
“Because I own this building and I don’t carry dead weight.”
That shut me up.
“Hold on, Jessie. I want to hear about this job offer,” Ewan said.
“I’ve taken over one of the estates on the lake. I’ll need staff, a housekeeper, and groundsman. They’re live-in roles. That fact alone should relieve some of the pressure you’re under.”
Ewan let out a laugh and then spluttered on his beer. “Are you kidding? So we’d be like your servants? I thought it was just going to be the sex stuff.”
Sex stuff?
A faint smile crossed Joseph’s face. “You’re not man enough to prevent your wife from begging me for help, yet you turn your nose up at being a servant? Do you see the irony there?”
“Hey, man. I didn’t know she was going to beg you–”
“Why are you helping us?” I cut in, their eyes turned to me.
Joseph shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I? We used to be close. I hate seeing you so…desperate.”
Other questions burned in my throat, but before I could ask anything more he gave a sly grin. There was something nasty there; something that I didn’t like.
“Oh, and there’s probably one more thing you should know. I’ve already had this discussion with your husband, but you should probably be aware of it as well.”
“What do you mean?” I felt Ewan shift beside me as if excited.
“Perhaps your husband should tell you.” His voice was cold and his eyes hard, making me feel like I couldn’t escape him.
Ewan cleared his throat. “Well, Jess. It seems that Joseph here still has a thing for you and, well, you know what we did with Antonio the other night? It would be along the same kind of lines, you know? So if you agreed then‒”
“My offer doesn’t go ahead without it,” Joseph cut in, but I barely heard him above my rapidly beating heart.
“You want to sleep with me?” I whispered, clutching my bottle.
“There wouldn’t be much sleeping…but the question is: if you want to ‘sleep’ with me, Jessica?” How could he sound so casual with those hard eyes of his boring into me and making me want to shrink away?
