Something Scandalous

by Christie Kelley

  “And?”

  “And me,” Elizabeth whispered. “I think I love him but I’m not certain of his feelings for me.”

  “I cannot determine his feelings, Elizabeth.”

  “Can you help me figure out what to do?”

  Sophie nodded. “What is the absolute worst that can happen if you tell him you love him?”

  Elizabeth thought on that for a moment. “That he didn’t love me, and wanted to leave England forever.”

  “Can you live with that?” Sophie asked softly.

  “Live with it how?”

  “What if he loved you but could not stay here, would you go with him?” Sophie asked.

  “I think I would,” she replied slowly.

  “Could you marry him if he didn’t love you?” Sophie picked up her teacup and slowly sipped it.

  “No,” she answered with all certainty.

  “Even if you’re with child?”

  Elizabeth should have known Sophie would guess that they had been intimate. “That is highly unlikely.”

  “Ah, but not impossible.” Sophie smiled at her.

  “No, not impossible.”

  “I knew you two would succumb.”

  “Succumb?”

  “To desire,” Sophie insisted. “It was apparent how you felt about him almost from the beginning.”

  “Do you think he knows?” Elizabeth bit down on her lower lip, worrying about the answer.

  “Most likely not.”

  “What should I do, Sophie? If I tell him how I feel and he doesn’t return the feelings, he may leave.”

  “Or he might tell you how much he loves you.” Sophie picked up the remaining biscuit. “Either way, you won’t know if you don’t tell him.”

  “Thank you, Sophie.”

  “Anything for my friends.”

  Elizabeth left soon so she could return home and tell him exactly how she felt. Then he would tell her how he felt about her and Abigail. Because no matter what, Elizabeth could never be with a man who loved another woman. It was wrong for both people.

  As she entered the house, the silence made the hairs on her neck stick up. Where was everyone? She could hear the servants moving about, still cleaning up after the ball. But where was Will? Where were the children?

  She stopped in the hallway. “Kenneth, where is His Grace?”

  “His Grace went riding late this morning and has been gone since.”

  “And the children?”

  “They all went for a walk, save Lady Eleanor and Lady Lucia. They are still abed.”

  “Thank you, Kenneth.” She headed for the morning room hoping to get something to take her hunger away. The two biscuits had not filled her.

  The house seemed foreign today. She’d become so used to the sounds of the children playing and squabbling with each other. Or Will’s deep voice echoing through the house. The silence reminded her of how empty her life had been before Will arrived. She never wanted to go back to that old life again.

  She found a small repast in the morning room and enjoyed a scone and some tea. She had nothing planned today but excitement filled her. The idea of telling Will how she felt both frightened and thrilled her, but she knew she could do it.

  “Lady Elizabeth, the Baron and Baroness Humphrey are here to see you,” Kenneth said from the doorway. “Shall I seat them in the receiving salon?”

  What did they want today? “Yes, have some tea and cakes brought in, too.”

  Slowly, she scraped back her chair and walked toward the salon. Before she arrived at the room, she could hear Caroline’s waspish voice.

  “Keep your mouth shut, Richard. I will do the talking.”

  “Talking about what?” Elizabeth asked as she reached the threshold.

  “Elizabeth,” Richard said with a slight bow. “Is His Grace not at home?”

  “No, he went riding.” Elizabeth walked over to the yellow brocade chair, which just happened to be as far away as she could get from them.

  Caroline shook her head. “The daft fool doesn’t even know when to ride.”

  “Where I’m from, any time is a good time to ride.”

  Elizabeth had never been so happy to see Will. He leaned against the doorframe. His broad shoulders almost filled the doorway.

  “Excuse me, Your Grace,” Caroline murmured.

  “Your Grace, we actually came to speak with both of you,” Richard said diplomatically.

  “And what would you need to speak to us about?” Will walked across the room and took the seat next to Elizabeth.

  She glanced over at him and smiled again. A part of her wanted to tell him that he really should change out of his riding clothes, but watching his muscular thighs in his tight, buff breeches was quite enjoyable.

  “Your Grace, if I may?” Caroline started hesitantly.

  “Yes?”

  “I noticed last night at the ball a certain closeness between Your Grace and Lady Elizabeth.” Caroline fidgeted in her seat.

  “Oh?” Will asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

  “It must stop, Your Grace,” she whispered.

  “What Lady Elizabeth and I do is none of your concern,” Will replied in a harsh tone.

  “The gossips, Your Grace,” Caroline tried again. “With her aunt gone, it is slightly improper for her to even be here.”

  “Hang the gossips,” Will said.

  “There is something else,” Caroline mentioned and then looked away from them.

  “And what would that be?” Will asked with sarcasm lining his voice.

  Elizabeth was so thankful that Will had arrived when he had. As they talked, her fingers clenched and unclenched the muslin of her dress. She could never face them with as much ease as Will did.

  Caroline leaned in closer. “Your Grace, surely you must know about her father?”

  “What about her father, Caroline?”

  “The former duke was not her father,” Caroline whispered so the servants could not hear.

  “She was born in a legally bound marriage. The duke never publicly denied her,” Will commented. “To the world, she will always be the duke’s daughter.”

  “I understand that, but it is not what I meant.”

  “Then tell us what you mean, Caroline.” Will crossed his arms over his chest.

  Caroline shook her head. “Your father was the duchess’s lover. He fathered Elizabeth.”

  Elizabeth gripped the arms of her chair as the world around her spun. “No,” she finally whispered. “That is not true.”

  “We didn’t come to make trouble, only to warn you both that you mustn’t get too close,” Caroline said.

  “No,” Elizabeth said again. It couldn’t be true. Will could not be her brother. Her stomach started to roil with nausea. She raced from the room before she embarrassed herself.

  Will watched Caroline’s eyes for any sign of untruth from her. “If you are lying about this, Caroline. I will—”

  “I swear.”

  “How would you know about this?” Will asked.

  Caroline took a deep breath. “My father was a very good friend of the late duke’s. One night when the duke was good and foxed, he admitted the affair to my father. When I married into the family, my father wanted me to know. He thought I shouldn’t treat Elizabeth kindly because of it. But I always told him, it wasn’t her fault.”

  “So why now? You have had this knowledge for several years. Why did you think it was so important to tell her now?”

  She glanced over at her husband who nodded at her. “I was in the hall last night when I heard the door to your study unlock. I saw you leave and then went in to extinguish the candle and found Elizabeth.”

  “Nothing happened in there last night,” Will said. Only later, when it was nearly dawn.

  “Elizabeth told me the same thing, and I believe you both. But just in case you two were getting…close, I thought it best that you should know.”

  Will did not believe her. His father had loved his mother and bee
n devastated by her death. Only his stepmother’s love had brought him back from the loss. He never would have cheated on Will’s mother.

  “I believe you should take your leave now,” Will stated firmly.

  “Of course, Your Grace.” Richard stood and assisted his wife out of her seat. “We are both very sorry for any pain this might have caused you.”

  Will refused to acknowledge Richard’s remark. He sat frozen in his chair, unable to do anything but think about what he and Elizabeth had done this morning. And over a week ago. She had yet to let him know if she thought she might be pregnant. There was a strong possibility that she was already with child.

  After they left, he brought his hands to his temples. Rubbing his head, he thought more about the situation. To him, it just didn’t seem feasible. But Elizabeth never knew his father and had no idea what an honorable man he was. Will knew it was up to him to tell her.

  He stood and slowly walked up the steps to her room. He knocked on the door but received no reply. Quietly, he opened the door and saw her facedown on the bed weeping. He closed the door and approached her.

  “Go away, Will.”

  He sat on the bed next to her and rubbed her back. Every muscle tensed under his hand. “Elizabeth, we need to discuss this.”

  “What is there to talk about? Apparently, I am your sister,” she choked out. “Which means what we did just this morning was…”

  Her tears broke his heart. “It was not incest, Elizabeth.”

  She rolled over on her back. “How can you be certain? We have no proof of who I am!”

  “I know my father. He would never have done such a thing.”

  “You don’t know that. Until my father told me, I would have said the same thing about my mother.”

  Will clasped her hand in his. “My father loved my mother with all his heart. When she died, I think he wished he had died, too. The only thing that kept him going was the children and his career.”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “Any marriage can hit a rough patch that later makes it stronger. You would have only been a year old. Anything might have happened to pull them apart and you wouldn’t remember.”

  “No, you are wrong.”

  “Will, I went through the same thing when I found out about my mother. I denied the possibility and didn’t wish to believe the story. But my father had nothing to gain by telling me.” Elizabeth tried to reach for his hand.

  Will pulled it away. “This is not the same. You heard the story directly from your father. We have no idea if Caroline is speaking the truth. The little I know of her, I would not believe her.”

  She sighed. “You are right about Caroline, but we can’t possibly know the truth until we find my mother’s diary.”

  Will stood up and paced by the bed. “Even then, there is nothing to say the information we need is in the journal. She might have taken her secret to the grave.”

  “It has to be there, Will. I cannot bear it any longer. I must find out who my father was.” Elizabeth stood and wiped away her tears.

  “It wasn’t my father.” Will stopped and stared at the beautiful woman in front of him. He wanted to drag her into his arms and kiss away her fears.

  But he couldn’t do that any longer. While there was any doubt about his father, he had to stay away from her. But he had to do something.

  “Let’s find that diary.”

  Chapter 18

  Elizabeth searched in the dining room, desperate to find a secret panel that might hide a journal. At least this time she had everyone’s assistance. Will had even questioned the servants to see if anyone knew of any hidden doors or panels. When the children arrived home, Will told their tutor they were done for the day. He then told them what he and Elizabeth were looking for so they could help. The children decided to search their rooms again for her.

  By nightfall, they were no closer to finding the diary than when Richard and Caroline had left this afternoon. Elizabeth was starting to wonder if she had scoured the estates as carefully as she thought. Had she missed something there? She hadn’t spent a large amount of time on two of the estates because her mother rarely went to them. They were too far from London and not in the best condition. It made no sense that she would have hidden her journal at either home.

  She had focused her energy on the manor home in Kendal and the estate in Hampshire. After spending a month in each house, she had thoroughly searched the homes and found nothing. She banged her fist against the wall of the dining room in frustration.

  “Are you all right?”

  Elizabeth turned to see Will standing in the room, staring at her as if she had gone mad. “No, I am not all right,” she admitted.

  He drew her into his arms and held her. It was as though he knew no words would comfort her now. But being in his arms helped her immensely. If only she could stay here forever.

  Slowly, she pulled away so no servant would see them. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  “I searched the music room, but to no avail,” Will said.

  Elizabeth nodded. “Why don’t you try the salon? Maybe there is a panel I missed.”

  “Very well.” Will turned and left her alone to her searching again.

  At nine, Will told the children to go to bed. She sat in his study staring at the cold fireplace. A lone tear fell down her cheek.

  “We will find it, Elizabeth.” Will sat across from her but reached over to hold her hand.

  “I’m not certain it is even here,” she said with a shrug. “Maybe I missed something at the estates. Maybe there never was another diary. She probably burned it so my father would not discover it.”

  “Is there anyone who might have been your mother’s confidante?”

  “She was friends with most of the ladies of the ton. But I do not remember any special friend. I suppose I could try the dowager Lady Selby. They were close in age so maybe she will know more.”

  Elizabeth tried not to let the tentacles of defeat wrap around her, but she failed. She highly doubted Lady Selby was her mother’s closest friend. The only time she remembered Lady Selby visiting was when Elizabeth and Jennette were playing together.

  Will squeezed her hand. “We will find it.”

  “What if we don’t? I know you are trying to remain positive but there is a very good chance we will never find the diary.”

  “I don’t know what we will do then,” he said with a frustrated sigh. “Pretend this never happened and pray you are not with child?”

  She knew from his angry tone he didn’t mean what he’d said, still the words stung. How could she pretend she wasn’t in love with him? It was an impossible situation.

  “Perhaps we should ask Somerton for help,” he said.

  “Absolutely not.” Elizabeth drew her hand away. “I will not allow him to know our personal business.”

  “Selby told me he is the best.”

  “Will, I could never bear the embarrassment. He would assume we’ve been intimate. He might tell others. What if that did happen and Caroline’s words are true? Everyone would discover that we had an incestuous relationship.”

  “Very well,” he said. “We shall continue this your way. But if we don’t uncover something soon, I will speak with Somerton.”

  Elizabeth nodded, fighting back the tears that seemed to be constantly near since this afternoon. Will rose and stood before her, holding out his hands to her. She took his hands and he drew her into a tight embrace.

  “We will find out the truth. There has to be someone who knows what happened.”

  She desperately wanted to believe that. As she stood in the warmth of his arms, she thought of one person who might be able to help. Sophie would never reveal Elizabeth’s secrets and her friend just might be able to use her powers to help her. Before she ever spoke to Lady Selby, she would call on Sophie again.

  Feeling his breath on her forehead, she wanted to tell him how she felt about him. But now was not the time. There might not ever be a right time to tell him if
Caroline’s scandalous lies were in fact truth. If they did not find some proof soon, she would leave with her small allowance and try to forge a new life.

  And attempt to pretend this never happened. As if that were possible.

  The next morning Elizabeth left to visit Sophie while Will continued to search for the diary. He decided to investigate his room thoroughly, including taking apart his small desk. It made the most sense that her mother would have hidden a diary in their bedroom rather than another room in the house. After removing every drawer in the desk, he found nothing.

  He sat in the chair and rubbed his temples. What was he missing? There had to be some clue they had overlooked. Perhaps Elizabeth had missed something in the other journals she had found.

  Will lifted his head up and looked around the room. He couldn’t give up. There had to be something here. Walking to the fireplace, he put his hands on the wood moldings above the mantel. The first panel didn’t budge so he moved to the one on the right side. The panel moved and groaned slightly.

  Examining the panel, Will realized that it lifted up. As it opened, he breathed a sigh of relief. He’d found it! He reached inside and pulled out a small leather-bound journal. After wiping off the dust on his trousers, he sat down in the chair by the fireplace.

  He traced the gold initials JMK with his finger. He should wait and give the book to Elizabeth, but curiosity overcame his good intentions. Slowly, he opened the book. As he read the first page, a wave of disappointment crashed over him. This was not her mother’s diary. It belonged to the late duke.

  Will paged through the journal, hoping to find some mention of the duchess’s infidelity. Instead, all he found was the infidelities of the duke. Apparently, the man had a voracious sexual appetite that his wife couldn’t satisfy. Then again, neither could half the female servants in the house, and several ladies of the ton.

  No wonder his wife had had an affair. The poor woman was probably out for revenge. Will tilted back his head and stared at the white ceiling. He couldn’t show this to Elizabeth. It would break her heart to discover what her mother had gone through.

  Will glanced back down at the open page on his lap and shook his head. The entry for the day simply read: