The Mistress's Secret

by Julia James

  Alanna…

  His heart squeezed again.

  I will make this marriage work! Thee mou but I will do so!

  * * *

  As tense as a board, holding Nicky's hand, Alanna stood as Leon's parents hurried toward them across the huge, ornate drawing room of the Andreakos mansion in Athens.

  What if they rejected Nicky for being her son? The woman they blamed for Nikos's death.

  There was a volley of excited Greek, and then Leon's father scooped up Nicky, hugging him close.

  In wonder, Alanna saw tears on his cheeks. And then his wife was there, kissing Nicky, calling herself his Ya-ya who loved him already and forever.

  Champagne was uncorked, fizzing lemonade for Nicky, more Greek, more exclamations, and then, suddenly, switching to English, Leon's mother turned to her.

  "Oh, my dear, how you have suffered for our sakes! But now we beg your forgiveness for the wrong we did you when Nikos died."

  The room went completely and utterly silent.

  Then, into the silence, Leon's father spoke.

  "Nicky, come and see the swimming pool."

  Happily, Nicky put his hand into his grandfather's and was led away. Leon's mother paused. Her eyes were huge.

  She touched Alanna's wrist. Her voice full of emotion.

  "We never knew the truth about my poor Nikos…till recently. The son of a friend let it slip. And when we knew the truth, we understood. Understood why he died. That it was not your fault! But Leon, Leon does not know. You must tell him, my child, so that he may have the happiness that he, too, deserves — as you deserve yours."

  She kissed Alanna and followed her husband and her grandson from the room.

  As the door clicked behind her, Leon spoke.

  "Tell me what? What do I not know about Nikos?"

  She moved away from him. Shock was still buckling through her.

  "Tell me!" The urgency in Leon's voice demanded an answer.

  She swallowed. His parents wanted her to tell him. Tell him the secret she had promised Nikos she would keep for ever — as she had.

  Until now.

  She took a deep, shuddering breath.

  "Nikos was gay," she said. "And terrified of it, of discovery. That's why he had so much psychiatric treatment. He married me to hide it. On — on the night that he died, the man who came to the house was not my lover. He was Nikos's. He came in a jealous rage, demented that Nikos had married. After — after they had both died in each other's arms, I could not add to your parents' grief, to yours, by telling what I had promised Nikos never to tell…."

  "So you let us think the man was your lover and took the blame for Nikos's death." Leon's voice fell like a tolling bell.

  "It was all that I could do. I felt so guilty…."

  "Guilty! What cause was there for you to feel guilty?"

  She shut her eyes, then opened them.

  "Because I knew I should never have married him, despite his pleas. He begged me — that morning, when he came to your apartment, and discovered…"

  She broke off.

  "Discovered what?" Leon's eyes burned into hers.

  "Discovered I was leaving you."

  He stared.

  "Leaving me? You left me to marry Nikos!"

  Slowly she shook her head.

  "No. I was leaving you anyway." She looked him in the eye and told him her heart's secret, hidden for so long. "I — I'd fallen in love with you, Leon. I dreamed, like an idiot, of being your wife one day. But you only wanted me to be your mistress. I…couldn't bear it. I'm sorry."

  There was silence all around them. In a grating voice, Leon spoke.

  "Why not tell me you loved me?"

  Alanna gave a bitter, hollow laugh.

  "You'd just told me not to think of getting pregnant to extract a wedding ring from you. I didn't think you'd be interested in hearing that I was in love with you."

  "I thought you married Nikos for his money, but when you inherited it you gave it away. So that was not the reason, was it?"

  Now. Tell him now! The final secret!

  She took a breath. Then, his expression as tormented as if the devils of hell were taunting him, he spoke.

  "If Nikos was gay, how did you conceive Nicky?" His eyes were bleak, but understanding began to dawn in them. "You were already pregnant — by me. And you dared not tell me because I'd warned you not to get pregnant! So you married my brother to be the father to Nicky you thought I would not be."

  His face was broken, ravaged. Pain clutched at Alanna. She ran to him, catching his hands.

  "I should have told you — trusted you to be a father to Nicky, even if you never married me, never loved me! And you had every reason to think me greedy, mercenary, wanting your money."

  "You've proved to me you are not in love with money. Giving Nikos's wealth away and living in poverty," he ground out. "My distrust of you drove you away. I lost both you and my son."

  His bitter self-accusation lacerated her.

  She swallowed. "Seeing you with Nicky shows me how wrong I was to keep him from you. You love him dearly already! As for me —" she took a breath "— I will be as good a wife to you as I can, and not…bother you with my feelings."

  He stared at her. "Are you telling me," he said in a slow, disbelieving voice, "that you are still in love with me…after all I did to you?"

  She gave a painful smile. "Love isn't something you turn on or off. It's just…there. But I won't annoy you with it, I promise you."

  Something changed in his eyes. For the first time since his mother had dropped her bombshell, Alanna saw them lighten.

  More than lighten. Gleam.

  His hold on her hands loosened, and he brought each hand up to his lips and kissed them. The tension in his shoulders eased.

  "You may…annoy me with your love any time you want, Alanna mou. For it is a gift to me I do not deserve and can only wonder at."

  Something moved in his face, an expression that suddenly made Alanna's heart skip a beat. Then, drawing her hands against his heart, he lowered his mouth to hers.

  The kiss was light and sweet and healing.

  As he drew back, he spoke.

  "When I thought it was my money you loved, not me, I was hurt, angry. It made me lash out when you married Nikos, and when he died I turned my feelings for you into hatred — but they were never that. Never that. And now…" He took a deep, shuddering breath. "Now you have given me a second chance and two most precious, precious gifts. My son and your heart. And I will treasure them both all my days for as long as I live, my sweet, beloved wife, my own one. My dearest love."

  Tears welled in her eyes, and her heart swelled with wonder and joy. He kissed away her tears, cradling her against him for long moments. Then, setting her back, he took her hand.

  "Let us find our son — and our new life together."

  She went with him, her hand, trustingly, in his, radiant with joy.

  The End