Naughty Gras: Tales of Fat Tuesday

by Sable Jordan, Jessa Callaver, Perri Forrest, The KWEEN

  “So, what are the doctors saying?” Collette asked, breaking the silence.

  Lance refocused onto the road and his sister and replied, “The doctors say that the tuberculosis progressed too far and that the treatment isn’t helping. They may have caught it too late. She says she’s tired...”

  I was relieved that the conversation was turned back onto his wife. Perhaps that could bring about enough guilt to keep him out of my face.

  We pulled into the lot and Lance parked. “I’ll sit here and wait for you two...this is family business. Noelle doesn’t even know me. I’d hate to intrude...” I said.

  Collette snapped her neck around and said, “Don’t be silly, Elle...you’re family to me and by default, that makes you family to Lance. Right, Lance?” she asked as she looked at him.

  “Absolutely, sis. Please come upstairs, Elle...”

  I could’ve smacked Lance. I could’ve pinched Collette...but, mostly, I would have melted into the seat. I felt like old elephant shit on a summer day. I got out of the car and prayed that woman was too sick to sense her husband’s preoccupation with my pussy.

  “Mr. Rice...you and your family can go in now,” a nurse said.

  We all went in to see her and she was weak, pale and thin. Her breathing labored and you could tell she was exhausted. I said hi when introduced and we visited for over an hour with her. She dozed off a few times from the sedation, but we stayed and kept her company until she awoke again. I felt so strange. I felt so dirty. I got a text from the office, which gave me an out. I excused myself and had a short conference with Brynn, my colleague. When I looked up, both Collette and Lance were coming my way. “It’s time to go...she’s tired and we’re hungry.” Collette said. Off we went to sit down and eat.

  We ended up at a local diner, eating breakfast for dinner. Collette and I sat across from her brother in a booth. He chose to sit right across from me. I ate my food as conversation weaved in and out across the table. Lance ate his dinner...and part of Collette’s. Once we were full, we tipped the waitress and left for Lance and Noelle’s home.

  We sat up for a minute and talked. I was tired and feeling in need of another shower...so, I retired to bed. Collette, not far behind me had knocked on my door and said goodnight to me.

  No less than 20 minutes after that, I got another knock on my door. I had just dried off and put my body cream on. I’d begun French braiding my wet hair to wrap up. I yanked the door open, knowing who it was and said between clenched teeth, “Lance! Go away! We can NOT do this again. Do you know how awkward today was for me?”

  Lance stood there smiling and then said, “You think I cheat on my wife all of the time? Do you think this is practice?”

  I didn’t really care. “I don’t really care, Lance. Whether you make a habit of fucking your sister’s friends or not is beyond my concern...all I know is that I met your wife today and that is all I needed to see. Today was a mistake. Please don’t make me say this again. NO is the answer to any question you’re asking!!” Proud that I’d put my foot down, I begun closing the door in his face.

  He wedged his foot in the door and said, “Thank you...” He pushed his way in and closed the door.

  I reached for the knob and said, “LEAVE!! You’re harassing me now and I’m beginning to feel uncomfortable!”

  He laughed and said, “Well the question was going to be if you minded if I swallowed you again...”

  Dead-faced, I stood there. Realizing that I didn’t even have a comeback, I exhaled, laughed and sat on the bed and said, “Lance...no. No more sex...of any kind. Please leave?”

  He walked over to me, bent down and kissed my forehead. “Goodnight, Elle...”

  We’d been in New Orleans for four days. Each day the Rice siblings visited Noelle. I went one more time after the first day, but from that point forward I’d either wait in the sitting area or stay at the house. I’d told Collette that it was too much for me to be there. I didn’t think even Noelle would appreciate some stranger ogling her in her last days. The truth was that I was guilty as hell and if I had to look at that woman one more time, I’d surely confess.

  We had two days of our trip left. Tonight was Mardi Gras. With all of the sexual tension looming in Lance’s house, I’d forgotten. I made mention that I still wanted to go to Cafe du Monde and that it was non-negotiable. Thinking it would be Collette playing tour guide, I was ready to go with enthusiasm. To see Lance come downstairs with the keys was confusing. “Where’s Collette? Is she coming?” I asked him.

  Lance smiled widely and said, “No... She asked me—I SWEAR, Elle—to show you to the festivities. She said she was going to spend the night with Noelle since you guys are leaving soon and knew that you’d be upset about not getting to see everything...”

  I gave him a hard and very crooked eye. I wasn’t convinced that this wasn’t some plan of action to corner me again.

  “Fine...as long as everything is above board. You’re my tour guide and that’s it!” I said as I did a 180-degree turn and marched out the door. He shuffled behind me, amused.

  We had to stand on line for a long while to get in to Cafe du Monde. It was packed, but we managed to get seats because Lance knew the manager. I enjoyed EVERY bite of my beignets and bought some for the road. We walked along Decatur, stopping for me to purchase souvenirs and take pictures. Lance and I had a nice time talking. We’d come out very early that day, but eventually the streets swelled with parade watchers and party animals. We’d already seen the parade and I was beginning to get tired.

  “Let’s go. You look tired. We can come back a little later if you want...” Lance said.

  “Yea, we can go. I am beat...” I responded. Then it hit me...we’d be home alone. Collette was spending the night at the hospital with Noelle, so that meant it would be just Lance and me. UGH, my big mouth. Nervously, I suggested that we stay out a little longer. Being alone wasn’t an option for me.

  “Are you afraid to be alone with me, Elle? I haven’t bothered you for days. I’ll be good I swear.”

  I knew this wasn’t going to work. I wasn’t good at being disciplined in this area. I normally followed my desires and thought little of consequences or perception. I was safe and I was discreet. That’s all I needed to think of...except in this instance, it wasn’t all. This man was married and that was a no-no in my book. Any man I’ve been with has been as single as me.

  We got back to the house and I damn near ran to my room. I’d quickly said goodnight and had gone to my room hoping, praying that it locked from the inside. It did. I was in that room until it was time for bed. I opened the door and found the hallway quiet. I slipped into the bathroom, managing a shower in record time. The moment I opened the door to leave...he was standing against the wall across from the bathroom.

  “Can I talk to you? Are you finished running from me? You’ve been like a runaway slave all night since we returned from town. We have to iron this out before Collette picks up on this and flays us both for crossing lines!”

  I had on my robe, nothing underneath it...so, I said, “Let me get dressed and you can come in.” He agreed and stood outside until I’d put on my maxi dress and opened the door again. “Come in.” I invited.

  “Let me first apologize. That first day was wrong. Not what we did, because I enjoyed it...but, how I came at you. I shouldn’t have come on so strongly. I didn’t take into consideration how you’d feel once meeting Noelle...but, there’s something you must know...”

  I fidgeted my toes underneath the length of the dress. “What is that, Lance?”

  “Noelle and I have long been separated. Before she even got sick, we’d been living apart. She’d left me for another man about 5 months before she was diagnosed with tuberculosis. After she got sick...he left her. I couldn’t see her like that...without anyone to be there, so I moved her back in and she’d been staying in the room Collette is in up until she was hospitalized...”

  My mouth fell open. After I’d managed to close it and
collect my thoughts, I asked him, “So, why doesn’t Collette know?”

  He sighed heavily. “As you can see, Collette loves Noelle dearly. I was going to tell her about the separation, but Noelle and Collette had been communicating already and it seems as though my wife left out those details while informing Collette that she was sick. No discussion of our upcoming divorce was mentioned. I was pissed, but I figured...if these are Noelle’s last days...then, I can pretend all is well for her benefit.”

  Again...my mouth fell agape and I was silent for longer than planned. “Well...what does this have to do with me? Am I supposed to believe this? Even if I did...that doesn’t change the fact that you’re not divorced. It’s still wrong for us to do what we did!” I chided.

  I had been standing by the window and he by the door on the other side of the bed. We were at a safe distance. No physical contact was allowed...at least that’s what my mind said. Almost perfectly timed, as if he could read my thoughts, Lance walked around the bed and stood in front of me. I looked away and stepped back. He crooked his finger into the elastic hem of my maxi dress in an attempt to pull it down. I smacked his hand away. He moved closer and tried again. I smacked his hand a second time and tried to hop on the bed to crawl to the other side to put space between us. I didn’t make it. He reached down and pulled me back to him by the back of my dress. That only served to pull the top of my dress down to my waist, freeing my breasts. He continued pulling once he saw that I was fully naked underneath.

  “LANCE...what is WRONG with you?” I yelled at him. No fear...just frustration. “You...your smell. Your wetness. That shit has been fucking with me. Stop running, Elle...please. I just want a little taste...” he said desperately. He pulled me to him and when he couldn’t get my dress to come down past my hips...he flung the bottom of my dress up and began stroking me from the back with three fingers. “I knew it...soaking wet...” I moaned and stopped fighting. Like a cat in heat, I began grinding my ass on his hand. He took out that largeness of his and placed the tip between my lips...rubbing me, moistening himself with my juiciness.

  “Fuck me...go ahead. Hurt me!” I pleaded.

  He obliged.

  I don’t know if I’ll ever experience again what I experienced in that moment. He started out like he’d done before...easing himself in, inch by inch. When he buried his dick into me—the whole thing—within seconds I came multiple times, shaking and spilling myself onto him. I squirted back to back until the bed, he and I were soaked through...and then I did it again. I passed out. I roused from my mini black out to him flipping me over and sucking me clean. I couldn’t have been fucked harder or better.

  While Collette was gone, he plowed into me repeatedly...until I’d lose consciousness and reawaken to him doing what he wanted to me. There was no guilt by the time the morning came. I was spent and my pussy hurt so badly, I couldn’t walk to the bathroom on the first attempt. I had to buck up though. Lance was going to pick her up soon and we were supposed to have a post Mardi Gras celebration at a family friend’s party. I had to practice walking without pain or Collette would surely know.

  I took a shower...and just cleaning down there was painful. I spent a good 30 minutes with the door locked before Lance left. I didn’t want him to walk in on me airing out my nana and massaging her gently and holding ice there. Once I got myself cleaned up, I kept the door locked until morning. I didn’t want him coming in that night. For the first time in MY life...I was afraid of sex!

  The next morning, I was awakened by a knock. I sprinted to my feet and to the door. I whispered, “Who’s there?”

  “Girl, it’s ME...Collette!” I opened the door, so happy to see her. I hugged her and asked how Noelle was.

  “She’s fine, not in much pain. Relaxing and glad to see some kind of family around. My sister and brother will be here in a week and she’ll have more people to visit with her. She doesn’t have much family of her own.”

  I felt sick. I got that dirty feeling again. I must’ve looked troubled because Collette asked me what was wrong. “Nothing, just hungry. I’m gonna go shower and get dressed. Hopefully we can chase down a waffle...” I said, laughing nervously. I got up and began gathering my shower gear.

  “Sis...is there something going on between you and Lance?” Collette asked. I was thrown off, but not really. It wasn’t a matter of if she’d know...it was when.

  “Yes...” I confessed quite instantly. I was surprised at MYSELF for not trying to spare Collette any uncomfortable feelings. “...he’s been chasing me around this room since I got here. I feel SO badly, Collette! I know he’s your brother and all...” I began pleading.

  SHE started giggling. This heffa was laughing at me!

  “COLLETTE! What’s so funny?”

  “That you thought you could hide this from me! Girl, I’m your right hand. I know when you’re THINKING about scratching your ass. My brother has always been the object of crushes...and since knowing you...you too, are a magnet for men’s attractions. It’s like two planets pulled into the same orbit...”

  “Are you upset? I know how you feel about Noelle...”

  “Noelle told me months ago when she told me she was sick, that she and Lance had been living apart. She asked me NOT to tell him that I knew…just because she didn’t want him and me to get into it. She even said she was at fault. It’s none of my business. I was disappointed...I loved her as a sister, but I can’t make her stay with my brother. Now that she’s dying...” I went over and hugged her, “...there’s just not enough time to be angry.”

  I was borderline relieved but I still had questions. It’s not like Lance and I were going to walk down the aisle, but I wondered how many of Collette’s friends he’d fucked. I couldn’t have been the only one for it to be such a casual thing to her.

  “Well, let me get ready for this party. It’s bon voyage tomorrow. Back to the grind! I have so much work to catch up on...my emails are piling up!” Collette agreed that home was a welcomed sight.

  I felt comfortable in a gold-sparkled off the shoulder top with black liquid leggings and gold glittered shoes. My hair was down, except for the gold rhinestone push comb on one side. I grabbed my black clutch and headed downstairs. Once we were all ready, we got into his car and off we went to the party. The house where the party was reminded me of something haunted. Not so much the house itself, but the architecture. It was one of those two-story homes with balconies on each level. Even the attic’s window had a balcony-like decoration. I suppose it was plantation style. It was nicely kept up and was lit beautifully with white lights. The people who lived here were clearly festive and honored this time of year. I prayed that the party was short and sweet. I couldn’t take an entire night of squirming in place at the idea of what Lance and I had done over and over. This was new territory for me. Did I say that? Because…it is. I feel so strongly sexual most times—unapologetically, so—that, when I’m being ravaged sexually by a man of Lance’s sensual caliber, I bask in it. For some reason…other than his marital status…and um…pipe size…he had me running from him.

  We got to the front entrance. Stunning frosted full paned French doors swung open like someone had been expecting us. “LANCE! Is THIS “Little Lette”??? A thick and fairly tall man exclaimed with enthusiasm.

  Collette cringed and plastered a phony smile. “Yes, it’s me Beau. Geez, you know I hate that name…”

  He laughed and invited us in. Smiling, he offered us drinks while simultaneously introducing himself to me. “Hi, beautiful! I’m Beau Cavanaugh. This here is my frat brother and best friend from High School!” he said, punching Lance in the arm lightly. “Welcome to the Big Easy…slide on in. Drinks are aplenty and so is the food!” Looking right at me, Beau offered, “Come and meet my wife, Eldora.” As soon as he’d mentioned her name, it was like she answered a mental call.

  “Good evening, all! Lance! It’s been so long!” she said, embracing him. She eyed Collette as if she were trying to recall the last time she’d seen
her. “…hmmm, you look familiar…”

  Collette quickly tapped her arm playfully and said, “Oh PLEASE, Dora!” and yanked her into a hug. Collette then introduced me and Eldora hugged me like she’d known me all of her life.

  We were led to the main room where the festivities were commencing. The room was decorated with feathered garland in jewel-toned colors of pink, purple, green and gold. Beads were draped over inanimate objects and masks were in a basket near the room’s entrance. Drinks were being served from a bar placed in the corner of the room, right next to a set of French patio doors. Through the doors, was the backyard, spacious and brightly lit with white lights, lanterns in the themed colors, candles on the long picnic tables and the smell of meat roasting on the very contemporary grill/kitchen. The mask I’d chosen was gold and green with a purple border. I chose it mostly because it wasn’t a handheld one but was secured by an elastic band instead. I walked around, semi-incognito, and mingled with all of Beau and Eldora’s guests.

  Later, Beau came to me and asked if I wanted to see his home. I became instantly uneasy. Sensing my reticence, Beau said, “No, dahlin’…I’d much rather give you a guide who can afford to ‘get lost’ with you.” My facial expression must have registered my shock. He said, “I’ll let Lance lead you around my home. He knows it well…he helped me remodel it a few years ago. He’s quite the carpenter…” He escorted me up to Lance, standing several feet away and I was using the short distance to protest this guided tour.

  “Beau, I don’t think it’s a good idea…I’m fine getting to know your friends and enjoying this atmosphere.”

  He said, “No way. Everyone gets a tour of my manse. You’ll be leaving tomorrow and it’s only right that you get to see a true Louisiana property before you go!” We slid up to Lance so quickly, I had no more time to refuse or escape. “Lance, my friend, why don’t you show Ms. Elle our handiwork!” He threw my arm over Lance’s and shuffled quickly to a guest, fluidly going into a conversation.