She walked up the hill with Sophie in her arms. Several people had come out, Isaac and Anna among them. “What happened?” Anna asked.
“Bella scared her.”
“Poor Bella wouldn’t hurt a fly. What did she do, child?” Anna stroked the girl’s cheek.
“She hit me with a stick.”
Emma explained. “Bella was trying to give it to her so she would throw it in the water.”
Isaac patted his wife’s arm. “The dog will fetch right through the ice if she has to. She doesn’t care how cold the water is.”
Pressing her way through the crowd, Emma murmured her excuses and carried Sophie to the door. She only had to wait for a minute before Luke drove up. Sophie scrambled from her arms into the front seat. She glared at Luke. “I don’t want him to come along.”
Emma said, “I’ll drive, Luke. Thanks for the offer.”
“Are you sure?”
“We’ll be fine, won’t we, Sophie?”
“I want to go home now.”
Luke handed Emma up into the driver’s seat. She grasped his hand. “Danki. I appreciate all your help.”
“Anytime.”
Hannah came running out with Sophie’s pail. It was filled with cookies. “Don’t forget this. I’m sorry you didn’t like my dog.”
Sophie didn’t answer. Emma set her horse in motion and drove Sophie to her father’s farm. Wayne came out when they pulled up. “How was the party?”
“I didn’t like it. They had a dog that scared me, but Emma chased it away. She’s nice. I brought you some cookies.” He lifted her out of the buggy.
Emma gave him a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry she didn’t have a good time. She was frightened by Hannah’s dog, but no harm was done.”
“Will I see you again?” he asked.
“I’m usually at home.” She couldn’t in good conscience invite him for a visit, but she hated to disappoint him after her disastrous evening with his daughter.
“I’ll stop in one of these days.”
“Can I come, too?” Sophie asked.
Emma nodded and turned her horse toward home.
* * *
On the Sunday before Christmas, Luke made up his mind to ask Emma if he could court her. He decided to get it over with after church and kill the butterflies in his stomach. Once she said no, he was free to look elsewhere. Not that he would.
If she agreed, it would mean he would have to join the faith. Was he ready for that? He had to be. It was the only way they could be together. This had to be what God wanted for him.
When the long service was over, he stood beside her buggy, waiting for her to come out of the house after the meal had been served. She came up the hill toward him with a basket over her arm. “Hello, Luke.”
“Emma, would you like to ride home with me?”
She raised her chin a notch, and he prepared himself for her rejection. She nodded once. “I would.”
Had he heard her correctly? “You would?”
“Are you ready to leave now?”
“Ja. Ja, we can leave now. Let me get my horse hitched up and tell your brothers you won’t be going home with them.”
“All right. I’ll wait here.”
He tripped getting down the hill but recovered without falling. He looked to see if she was watching. She was. She pressed her hand to her lips to hide her smile, but he could see the humor in her eyes.
Hurrying across to the corral, he located his mare and soon had her harnessed to his open cart. He gave thanks for the mild weather as the sunshine warmed his face. Emma wouldn’t be uncomfortable riding with him.
She had agreed so readily. He was still amazed. Locating Roy and Alvin in the barn with other boys their age, Luke told the pair he was taking their sister home. Roy never even glanced up from the phone in his hand. “Okay, fine.”
So much for opposition from her family. Luke hurried back outside and skidded to a stop when he saw Emma wasn’t by her buggy. Had she changed her mind?
Glancing around, he saw she was standing on the other side of his cart. When his heart started beating again, he walked calmly in her direction. “Are you ready?”
“I am.”
Taking the basket from her, he placed it behind the seat, and held out his hand so she could steady herself while getting in. After a second of hesitation, she laid her hand in his. A jolt of pleasure raced up his arm and spread throughout his body. Her cheeks turned pink. Did she feel it, too? He wanted to say something, but nothing came to mind so he walked around the cart and got in.
When he was seated, he glanced her way. “Are you worried about people seeing us together?”
“Nee, why should I be?”
“I don’t have a spotless reputation.”
She fixed her gaze on his. “I’m not concerned about what you did in the past. It’s your action now and in the future that truly matters to me.”
“Then I’ll behave myself.”
Arching one eyebrow, she snapped back, “See that you do.”
He laughed as he turned the horse and started down the lane. At the highway, he paused. “Shall I take you directly home, or would you like to take the long way there?”
“The long way should be a very pretty drive today.”
Happiness surged through his blood. “The long way it is.”
A secondary road split off from the highway a few hundred yards from the lane that followed the curve of the river between the low hills. Luke turned into it, noticing several other sets of tracks in the fresh snow. It was a popular drive for young couples with several secluded places they could turn off and enjoy some privacy. The first two such places already had buggies parked in them, so Luke drove on. He wanted to say something, but Emma’s silence had stifled his tongue. She sat beside him, seemingly enjoying the ride. He didn’t want to spoil it for her.
He relaxed and began to enjoy the view, too. Snow covered the hillsides in a thick white blanket that sparkled everywhere the sunlight touched it. The trees had long since lost their leaves and their stark branches reached toward the blue sky while their identical shadows intertwined with their neighbors on the snow-covered ground. The river, nearly a solid sheet of ice, gurgled up in open spots before disappearing under the ice again. A dozen Canada geese occupied one section of open water. He gestured toward them with his head. “Think one of them will become someone’s Christmas goose?”
“I hope not. They’re so pretty. I love to see the flocks in huge Vs traveling across the sky. Sometimes I hear them at night and wonder why they travel in the darkness.”
“I reckon because they can tell where they are by the stars or by the rivers heading south below them.”
She gazed upward. “It must be a wonderful thing to see the world from so high in the air.”
“True, but I think a snug house and a warm fire must beat the view when the weather turns nasty. I’m glad I’m not a goose.”
Chuckling, she glanced his way. “So true.” She paused. “Father will be so happy that the store can open when he returns.”
“He’s been really pressing to get it done. Why the rush?”
He glanced at Emma in time to see a look of pain flash across her face before she schooled her features into a calm expression. “He has his reasons.”
Luke knew something wasn’t right. He pulled the horse to a stop. “Emma, what’s wrong? Tell me.”
“Nothing. It’s nothing.”
“It is. I can see you’re worried.”
“It’s nothing that concerns you.”
She didn’t want to discuss it. Not with him. It wasn’t his concern. His happiness at the day faded. If she couldn’t confide in him, then what hope was there for something more between them?
* * *
&nbs
p; Emma wished with all her heart that she could tell Luke about her father’s illness. She needed to talk to someone about it, but her promise to her father kept her silent. She shivered and pulled her cloak tightly across her chest.
“I should get you home. It’s too cold for an open buggy ride.”
“I’m fine.”
“You always say that. Even when you aren’t fine. I’m taking you home.” He set the horse in motion.
He looked so serious. Had she upset him? It wasn’t her intention. She had been thrilled when he asked her to ride home with him. Did he know that? Should she say something? She didn’t want to appear forward.
An awkwardness appeared between them and she didn’t know how to combat it. She sat in silence until they had almost reached her house. She gave one last try to lighten the mood. “Would you like to come in for some apple cake and coffee?”
He pulled his horse to a stop. A hint of a smile lifted the corner of his mouth. “Apple cake isn’t cherry cobbler, but it will do.”
She saw her brothers coming out of the barn. They had reached home before her. She had been hoping for some more time alone with Luke. Her spirits plunged lower when she saw Wayne Hochstetler was with them. She wasn’t up to a visit with him, but she could hardly send him home.
“Have I come at a bad time?” Wayne eyed her closely. It must look as if she had accepted a ride home from church with Luke, because she had. From the look on Wayne’s face, she knew he thought she was behaving poorly by stepping out with Luke, too, but she wasn’t dating Wayne. Not yet.
Wayne was her father’s choice. She couldn’t turn him away. She had promised to consider him and, so far, she had barely given him a chance. He wasn’t as fun-loving as Luke, but he was firmly rooted in their community and their church. Something Luke couldn’t say.
She forced a cheerful smile for Wayne’s benefit. “It’s not a bad time at all. I was just offering Luke some apple cake. Would you care for some?”
He smiled for the first time since he had been coming by. “It’s a favorite dessert of mine.”
“How is your daughter?”
“Fine. She talks about you all the time. About how you and she threw stones in the river, and how you comforted her when the dog scared her. She likes you a great deal and hopes to see you again soon so she can learn how to make cookies and cakes for me. I didn’t realize how much she missed having a woman’s company.”
“I’m glad I could help. She’s a sweet child. Let us go inside.”
Roy took hold of Luke’s reins. “Do you want me to put her in the barn for you?” he asked hopefully.
Luke shook his head. “I won’t be staying that long.”
“But you just got here.” Roy gave Wayne a sour look.
It didn’t faze Wayne. He held out his hand to help Emma down from the open carriage. “You must be cold after riding in this. Luke should have more sense.”
Luke’s eyes narrowed. Emma spoke quickly. “I’m not cold at all. A ride in the open was very refreshing. Danki, Luke, for obliging me.”
If that gave Wayne the impression the buggy ride had been her idea, that was fine. She allowed him to help her down. Pulling off her gloves, she stuffed them into the pocket of her cloak. “Come inside.”
The glare the two men shared would have been funny if she hadn’t been the cause. Feeling like a mouse caught between two tomcats, she strode into the house and took off her cloak and bonnet.
Her brothers, Luke and Wayne came in and hung up their hats and coats.
“Have a seat in the living room, all of you. It will take me a few minutes to get things ready.”
They all trouped into the other room. Instead of friendly chatter, Emma heard only silence. That did not bode well for a congenial visit. After making coffee and handing out slices of cake, Emma took a seat in her chair. Everyone ate without speaking.
The minute he had finished his cake, Luke rose. “I have to be going.”
“Already?” Yes, Wayne was her father’s choice, but Emma was loath to spend an afternoon with him. She was afraid the silence would continue.
Luke turned to Wayne. “It was good to see you again.”
Wayne nodded, but he didn’t say anything.
Roy rose to his feet quickly. “I’ll see you out, Luke.” They both left.
The silence was broken by Alvin jumping up. “I’ll go see him out, too,” he said, and left the room.
Wayne scowled after Alvin. “How many people does it take to show Luke Bowman the door?”
“Apparently, all of us. Excuse me. I forgot to tell him something. I’ll be back in a moment.”
Emma told herself she wanted to know if Luke would be over the next day, but it was just an excuse to see him again. She opened the door and stepped outside. Luke stood beside his horse, adjusting the headband. “The man has a personality of a toad. An old thick toad.”
“Not even a toad. A rock,” Roy added.
Alvin punched his brother’s shoulder. “More like a stick of wood. Or a thick block of wood between his ears.”
Her brothers and Luke all laughed.
Emma marched down the steps. “How dare you make fun of a guest in this house! Alvin, Roy, I’m ashamed of you. And of you, too, Luke Bowman.”
She glanced at the house to make sure Wayne hadn’t followed her. “It’s one thing to have a poor opinion about someone, but don’t lead my brothers astray by voicing it in front of them.”
Luke flushed a dull red. “I’m sorry, but you have to admit that Wayne doesn’t have much of a personality. Come on. Anyone can see that.”
“And everyone can see how immature you are when you hold him up to ridicule. You need to grow up, Luke.”
“Why does Wayne keep coming over, anyway?” Roy asked.
Emma pressed her lips tightly together. “Your father asked him to look in on us.”
“He wants to marry your sister.” Luke climbed into his buggy and picked up the reins.
Roy turned stricken eyes to her. “You aren’t considering him, are you?”
“He’s a stalwart member of our faith. I am considering him,” she said loudly, wanting Luke to hear.
He did. His face went blank. “I pray you’ll be happy.”
Why won’t you speak up and tell me how you feel, Luke? You have to know I still care. I let you kiss me. Tell me you’re going to stay, join the faith and be happy among us. Don’t make me watch you leave again.
Roy took a step away from her. “Even if you marry him, I’m not going to let that toad boss me around.”
She whirled to face her brother. “Wayne is not a toad. He’s a God-fearing man who has suffered the tragic loss of his wife. He has a daughter who has lost her mother. We know what that feels like, don’t we? Where is your sympathy, Roy?”
His expression grew mulish, then the cell phone in his boot rang. He pulled it out. Emma snatched it from his hand and threw it away. “I told you to get rid of that.”
Roy raced to pick it up. “I hate you and this whole backward place.”
He took off toward the barn with Alvin following him and begging him to wait.
“Emma, that was uncalled for,” Luke said quietly.
Everything was so wrong. Her father was dying. Her brother hated her. Luke didn’t love her. She couldn’t carry it all alone. Her self-control fell into tatters.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do, Luke Bowman. You don’t have that right.”
“Emma, please, I don’t want to fight.”
“Then you should leave. I don’t need you anymore. We can handle things ourselves and I sure don’t need you encouraging my brothers to make fun of Wayne or filling Roy’s head with ideas about going away to school and working on solar cells. We were better off before you started interfering.”
“Don’t worry. It’ll never happen again.” Luke turned his horse and drove out of the yard without another word.
She watched him leave and pressed a hand to her forehead. “Oh, what have I done?”
* * *
Luke rode home in a daze with Emma’s words echoing in his mind. “I don’t need you anymore.”
Hearing them hurt more than he had imagined any words could hurt. Now he knew how badly he must have wounded Emma in the past and he grew sick to his stomach. She had needed him then, and he turned away from her out of shame.
He had been wrong to make fun of Wayne, that was true, but Emma’s anger was about more than that. She didn’t trust him enough to share her troubles. Without trust, there wasn’t anything to build a foundation on. He’d been foolish to dream things might change between them.
It didn’t take him long to reach home. He was rubbing down his horse when his father walked into the barn. “Luke, I’m surprised to see you home so soon. Rebecca said you’d be visiting until late today.”
“That was the plan. It didn’t work out that way.”
“Care to talk about what’s wrong?”
Luke almost said no, but then stopped himself. It wasn’t fair to expect Emma to share her troubles if he was too proud to share his own with his father.
He took a deep breath. “I’m in love with Emma, but she doesn’t love me.” It was a deeply humbling experience to say it aloud.
“I see.” His father came to the stall door and leaned on it. “I’m sorry. You told her how you feel and she told you she didn’t feel the same?”
“It wasn’t hard to figure out. I don’t know why I thought she might care for me.”
“The heart is a fierce thing. It will hold on to hope in the face of all evidence to the contrary. It is our mind that tricks us into giving up.”
“Or it’s our mind that lets us see the truth our hearts don’t want to accept.”
“I would rather believe my heart. It has stood me in good stead these many years. My mind said you were lost to me forever not so long ago, but my heart never gave up on you.”
Luke blinked back the sting of his tears. “I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you and Mamm.”
An Amish Noel Page 15
