Wishing On A Starr

by Adrianne Byrd

  The only time she thought about her grandmother was when she made out a monthly check to send back home-checks that were never cashed. Maybe this year she would call them on Christmas. When the crowd commenced the countdown, however, another thought bubbled to the top her mindactually it was a seed of hope that grew with each second of the countdown.

  The moment the tree lit up, she squeezed her eyes closed and made her heart’s true wish: I want to be reunited with my daughter.

  Shivering in the cold with her eyes fixed upon New York’s finest Christmas tree, she still felt a residue of hope bloom in her heart. But it was impossible, wasn’t it?

  Later that night while lying in bed, Gia stared into the darkness surrounding her. Should she dare look for her daughter? What would she say if she found her?

  The phone rang and startled her. It was the stroke of midnight and she knew precisely who was calling her.

  “Good morning, Dr. Davis,” she greeted, smiling.

  “Good morning, Gia. I hope I didn’t wake you,” he said with a note of caution.

  “No. Actually, I’m wide awake,” she admitted honestly. “How did your evening go?”

  “Great. Despite the fact that I froze my butt off,” he chuckled.

  “Ditto.” Gia sat up and leaned back against the headboard. “Bernie and Tonya dragged me down there this afternoon as well.”

  “You’re kidding me. You mean we all could’ve gone together?”

  “Seems so.”

  Daniel’s question implied he was ready for her to meet his daughter. Even though things were going well with them, she was pretty sure she wasn’t ready for that gigantic leap.

  Often when Daniel spoke of his daughter it was with a glowing pride that left Gia envious. Her regret was an emotion that grew heavier each year. She was at a point now where she needed help shouldering the load, but asking for help was something she was unaccustomed to doing.

  “I want to see you again,” Daniel said.

  She closed her eyes and allowed his words to stir her butterflies. “I’d like that.” Mildly, she wondered if this need to be around him was such a good thing or was she just setting herself up for an eventual downfall. Too much too fast was a dangerous thing for a new relationship.

  A new relationship-was that what they were in? She straightened, suddenly uncomfortable with everything having to do with this man.

  “I do have to do some Christmas shopping tomorrow, but after that, I’m free. What about you?” he asked.

  “I actually have some work I need to finish,” she admitted. “I have three design boards I have to finish by the end of the week and-”

  “Oh, yeah, yeah. You don’t have to explain. I completely understand. We just met and here I am hogging up all your time.”

  “No. It’s nothing like that,” she rushed to explain, but her unease wouldn’t go away. “I’ve enjoyed our time together.”

  Daniel heard a “but” in the hanging sentence and consequently felt like an ass. Had he been pushing too hard-going too fast? “I’ve had a good time, too.” He drew a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. “Well, it’s getting late. I should let you go.”

  “It’s not...I mean, if you have to go…”

  “Yeah. Just give me a call if you find some time tomorrow. I should be around here somewhere.” He laughed awkwardly.

  “Okay. I’ll do that,” she said softly.

  They held the phone for a few long, awkward seconds, and then finally disconnected. Daniel stared at the portable hand unit with a wave of dread crashing against his body. He pressed the instant replay button in his mind and was still unsure of what just happened and how it went wrong.

  He didn’t get much sleep that night and Starr accused him of being distracted during breakfast. So this was what it was like being back in the dating arena-a dizzying seesaw of emotions where you’re constantly guessing and wondering what the other party is feeling.

  Oh, joy.

  But the thing was, he really liked Gia. She was strong, smart, and beautiful. My, was she beautiful. My, was she beautiful. The way her eyes lit up when she smiled or laughed. She even had this way of making him want to drop everything to take care of her when at times she looked so sad about something.

  It usually happened whenever he talked about Starr. He pondered that for a while.

  “I know I told you I didn’t have any children...but the truth is more complicated than that.”

  What exactly did she mean?

  On the fourth day he hadn’t heard from Gia, Daniel saw the writing on the wall: she wasn’t interested. Though it was difficult to put the matter behind him, he was determined to forge ahead, put a smile on his face, and prepared to enjoy the holidays with his daughter. Yet, in the back of his mind, he couldn’t help but wonder at what could have been.

  Chapter 8

  “Twelve days before Christmas and you’re not doing anything but staring at the phone,” Bernie accused, plopping down a stack of accounts that needed review. “Why don’t you do us both a favor and just call him?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Gia shifted her gaze to the pile of swatches on her desk.

  “Uh, huh.” Bernie cocked her head and crossed her arms. “Then let me tell you what I’m talking about: Call Daniel. What’s the point of pretending that you don’t like him?”

  “I never said I didn’t like him,” Gia said stiffly. “I’ve just been busy that’s all.”

  Bernie stared.

  “It wouldn’t have worked out anyway,” Gia added. “It never does.”

  “Sounds like you’re scared.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” She huffed. However, her heart quickened at just how close Bernie was to the truth. “I just dated the man for a week.”

  “Every night for a week and then ran away for another week. C’mon. Maybe this guy really is the one. Have you thought about that?”

  In truth, she could think of little else. “It just can’t be this simple,” Gia mumbled.

  “Believe it or not sometimes love is simple.”

  “Love? Who said anything about love? I just said I liked the guy.” She bolted to her feet and paced behind her desk. “Who wouldn’t like him? He holds out chairs, opens car doors, and sings like...”

  “He sings, too?”

  “Oh, Bernie.” She sank back into her chair. “He has the most incredible voice and the things that man can do on a piano.”

  Bernie’s brow lifted.

  “Get your mind out of the gutter,” Gia reprimanded. “But all of that isn’t why I...like him.” She swallowed. “It’s the way he talks about his daughter. The pride and love he has for her is so humbling...and in some ways it makes me feel so undeserving of man like him.”

  “What? That’s silly.”

  “Is it?” Gia challenged. “He’s a man who’s all about family and doing the right thing. I haven’t even spoken to anyone in my family in years.” She glanced down at her hands. She had never shared any of this with Bernie. Avoidance was Gia’s specialty.

  “What happened?” Bernie asked.

  “I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life,” she whispered. “I sacrificed my child to save myself.” When she glanced up again, tears streamed down her face. “How can a man who values family so much ever understand what I’ve done?”

  Starr, Neve, and her dad meticulously combed through Goodman’s Tree Farm. Hands down, this was one of Starr’s favorite traditions: finding the perfect tree. She would always picked the ones that were too big to squeeze into the house and her dad would always pretend to fall in love with the puniest thing on the lot, and in the old days her mother would always stumble onto the one that was just right.

  Starr smiled weakly at the memory.

  “So what do you think happened between that lady and your dad?” Neve whispered.

  Starr glanced at her father who was busily inspecting a three-foot tree. “I don’t know. Like always, he’s keeping things pretty close to h
is vest.” She sighed. “I thought we were so close this time.”

  “Well, you know what I think,” Neve hinted.

  Instead of tossing up her usual protests or excuses, Starr felt herself wavering. Her father needed someone whether he wanted to admit it or not.

  “Hey, Starr,” her dad shouted. “What do you think?” he asked, gesturing toward a stick with three branches.

  She played her role to the hilt by rolling her eyes and droning, “I don’t think so, Dad.”

  “Is that supposed to be a tree?” Neve whispered.

  “He’s just playing,” Starr assured, and then watched her father meander off to find another ghastly choice. In her mind, she cut back to the day her father had met the attractive interior designer and the way he lit up around her. What did go wrong?

  Her thoughts danced around the question until the three of them stumbled upon the perfect eight-foot tree two hours laterconsequently, it gave Starr her next big idea.

  Gia picked up the phone and dialed the first three digits to Daniel’s home, but as her prepared speech jumbled in her head, she quickly hung up. She wanted to call mainly because she feared what Bernie had said was true: maybe this guy really is the one.

  She sighed and tightened the belt on her robe. It was more like wishful thinking on her part. Her confession to her best friend today was dead on. She had no right wanting a man like Dr. Daniel Davis.

  Standing at the window of her apartment, she gazed at the buildings across the street. Christmas lights, glowing Santas, and miniature nativity scenes could be seen in just about every window. In the street, she could make out a few teenagers engaged in a fierce snowball fight. It was just another sign of families enjoying the holidays.

  She retreated to her bathroom to rummage through her medicine cabinet. How could she have allowed two weeks to pass without getting a refill on her antidepressants?

  The doorbell rang and Gia frowned. All her friends knew her golden rule: Call before you come over. So who was at her door?

  At the bell’s second chime, she again tightened the belt on her robe and headed toward the front door. After peering through the peephole, Gia couldn’t make out what was on the other side. It sort of looked like something was blocking the door.

  “Who is it?”

  “Santa Claus.”

  Gia’s heart leapt at Daniel’s unmistakable voice. What is he doing here? Her hand flew to her wet hair and she glanced down at her attire.

  “Hello,” he called through the door when she hesitated too long.

  “Yes, huh. Just a minute.” She sweated a few more bullets while teetering in limbo on what to do.

  “I know I should have called,” Daniel explained through the door. “But while I was out shopping for a Christmas tree tonight, I was reminded of something you said to me.”

  “What was that?” she asked, leaning against the door and feeling a bubble of hope rise within her.

  “I remembered that you wanted to turn over a new leaf this Christmas. So I’m here to help you out.” Daniel waited. At the sound of the locks turning, he finally released a sigh of relief and allowed a broad smile to monopolize his face.

  Gia opened the door and gasped in surprise at the sight of the large pine tree clogging the hallway. “You brought me a Christmas tree?”

  Her gaze swung to him and he was warmed by its radiance. “You didn’t have one the last time I was here, so I took the liberty to help you get into the spirit. I hope you don’t mind.”

  She flashed him a smile that was more beautiful than he remembered before she stepped back and allowed him entrance into the apartment. It took a bit of work but Daniel finally squeezed the large tree through the door.

  “Nothing says Christmas like a trail of pine needles,” Gia joked.

  “Ah. You might feel that way now, but wait until we get this baby up and decorated. I guarantee you’ll be in the Christmas spirit by then.”

  “You also brought decorations?”

  “Hey, I came prepared.” Daniel winked, and then casually glanced over her attire. “I’m not complaining, but, um, you might want to put on something more appropriate for climbing trees.”

  Her cheeks darkened prettily. “In that case I’ll go change.”

  Daniel nodded and watched her disappear toward the back. Starr’s bright idea just earned her another gift under the tree. He was very aware of how badly things could have turned outhow things could still turn out.

  A few minutes later, Gia returned to the living room dressed in a pair of form-fitting jeans and a red sweater just tight enough to stir the blood in any man with a pulse.

  “Can I get you anything-maybe something to drink?”

  “Some coffee would great,” he answered, jarring out of his trance. “I hope you’re not angry with me for just dropping by?” he asked tentatively.

  Gia retrieved a can of Folgers from the cabinet and smiled at him. “No. I’m not angry…just surprised.”

  He nodded, but still felt like he was treading on thin ice.

  “Actually, I’ve been wanting to call you,” she began.

  He definitely didn’t like the sound of that. “Oh?” he asked, drawing a deep breath and preparing for the worse.

  “Yeah. Each time...I chickened out.”

  Daniel remained composed though his heart was trying to hammer its way out of his chest.

  “But I’m glad you came over. You made my night.” Her smiled brightened as she made the coffee.

  Daniel relaxed, but then grew curious. “Why would you chicken out?”

  Gia hit the brew button and crossed her arms. ”It’s complicated.”

  He studied her as he nodded. “Well, I’ll let it go at that...but when you’re ready to talk, I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener.”

  “I’ll remember that.”

  “Good.” He clapped his hands. “Now let’s go down to my car and get those decorations. Shall we?”

  “Okay.” Gia quickly bounded out of the kitchen and grabbed her coat by the door. “I can’t believe that I’m actually doing this,” she said, slipping on her gloves.

  “Trust me. You’re going to have fun.” He winked.

  The moment the couple stepped out of the apartment building, an errant snowball hit Daniel.

  “Sorry, Mister!” a kid yelled.

  Daniel held up his hands. “Not a problem.”

  Gia laughed and then clamped a hand over her mouth.

  “What, you think that’s funny?” Daniel asked, grinning.

  “It’s sort of-”

  Bam! Gia was hit in the shoulder by another runaway snowball.

  “Hey!” Gia turned toward the snow battling children.

  “Sorry, Ma’am,” the kids called.

  “Now that was funny!” Daniel chuckled.

  “Uh, huh.” She knelt down and began gathering snow. “There are four of them, but I think we can take them.”

  “What?”

  “Hey, I’m a woman who believes in revenge.”

  “We can’t-”

  Bam! Another snowball smacked him in the chest.

  “Sorry, Mister!”

  “You were saying?” Gia asked, smiling sweetly up at him.

  Daniel knelt beside her. “You’re right. We can take them.”

  Gia launched the first snowball. With an astounding aim, it hit one of the boys in the center of his back.

  That was all it took to commence a war.

  Daniel sent his own snowball flying and caught the shoulder blade of one of the teenage boys.

  “Good hit!” Gia declared, but then was smack soundly on the side of her head by return fire.

  Squealing, she rocketed two balls in almost rapid succession. But nothing was as hilarious as watching Daniel take two in the face.

  Temporarily flattened on his back, Gia struggled to help him up, but she took four hits and toppled over on top of him.

  Laughing, the couple scrambled on hands and knees to find protection behi
nd a parked car.

  “We’re surrounded,” Daniel chuckled.

  “We can’t give up,” Gia gathered more snow. However, the moment she stood up, she took a direct hit in the face and toppled right back into Daniel’s lap.

  “Yeah, that’s showing them.”

  They laughed as she sat up in his lap, but it soon faded to small puffs of frosted air when their eyes and lips were just inches apart.

  Daniel remembered the taste of her lips and, despite the cold, his body stirred to life. He didn’t want to move too fast or scare her off again, but he wanted to kiss her, too.

  To his surprise, she made the first move and close the small gap between them. The petals of her lips were softer than he remembered and their taste was intoxicatingly sweet. For a brief moment he was lost to a roaring passion that threatened everything he’d ever known. Nothing that tasted this good or felt so right could ever be wrong, he reasoned.

  However, their attackers had other ideas.

  “Ah!” Gia screamed when another snowball hit the back of her neck.