Usurper (Chaos #4)

by Claire Farrell

  I bristled. “Oh, and is it royal blood you need this time?”

  She smirked. “Now that you mention it…”

  Drake pounded his fist into his other palm. “Enough. This is getting us nowhere.”

  “We need to move on,” Arlen said. “We can’t stay here for much longer.”

  The rain was still beating down, along with some hail, which caused tears in the fabric over our heads. The trees provided enough cover to keep our fires going, but Arlen was right. We had to keep moving.

  Brendan rubbed his temples. “We’ll wait another day or two and see how things stand. We can always send riders ahead and—”

  “No,” Drake said. “It’s too risky to split up now. Not with the children here. Whatever’s causing this storm can’t keep going indefinitely. Something has to give. We can wait it out, but at some stage, we’ll need to fight back.”

  Brendan looked at him with interest. “Think that’s something you can manage?”

  “We can,” Drake said firmly. “We’re stronger together. Yes, we’ll leave a pretty big mark behind, but maybe a sign that we’re working together will do the job.”

  “Wait,” I said. “Are you two talking about changing the weather?”

  Brendan smiled grimly. “Something like that.”

  The discussion went on for another hour, but I kept my eyes on Brendan. He wasn’t himself. He seemed beaten somehow, as if the entire realm weighed on his shoulders. Finally, the group broke up and went to find sleep.

  During the night, I woke up thinking I heard somebody call my name. The lilac moon was full, casting a pretty glow on the area outside the makeshift canopy. The horses whinnied softly on occasion. I stared up at the fabric. I was suffocating in camp, strangled by everyone’s fears and opinions. I wanted to run, but there was no way to outrun my own worries.

  I slipped out of the camp and walked through the trees, remembering my past journeys. I let my hands brush the low-hanging branches and felt the bark on the thick, ancient trees. I was at peace in the Great Forest, but a part of me was eager to see the Darkside again. I feared that was because I had turned into a cold-hearted murderous bitch who was desperate to kill Sadler, so I didn’t really want to think about it too much.

  After a while, I caught the scent of something familiar and stopped short. Ahead of me, at the foot of a tree, grew a small white flower. Brighid’s flower. I rushed over to the plant. As I knelt beside it, I noticed another at the next tree. Then a third and a fourth. On and on they went, one after the other, forming a trail with no end in sight. I heard movement and knew I wasn’t the only one in the forest. I should have turned back, should have worried about danger, but my feet kept moving, against my will, following those stupid flowers.

  I entered a small clearing and found Brendan sitting on a fallen tree, his head bowed as he clutched a handful of Brighid’s flowers.

  “Brendan?” I whispered.

  His head jerked up expectantly, then his face fell when he realised it was me. His eyes were glassy and his face red.

  “I’m… I’m sorry if I disturbed you,” I said. “I was just… following the flowers.”

  He sighed and squeezed the bunch in his hands. “Yeah. Me, too.”

  “I should probably…” I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t. He looked so upset that I was almost afraid to leave him alone. “Are you okay?”

  He nodded, and I sat next to him. He didn’t send me away, but he didn’t look at me either.

  “You’re upset,” I said after a minute. “What’s wrong?”

  “Everything.” He tried to smile. “Didn’t you hear? Sadler’s raised the dead to destroy everything here. All because of me.”

  “You can’t take responsibility for everything he does.”

  “I don’t. I just… this is my punishment. I’ll never be forgiven, no matter what I do.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “This!” He shoved the flowers at me. “These. Her. She’s never going to let me away with the things I did.”

  “Brendan, you’re not making any sense. Brighid isn’t punishing you.”

  He shook his head, pain clear in his eyes. “Everything that’s happened since I’ve returned has turned out bad. Look at what happened to you. I did this. I caused all of this. You’re my punishment, Cara.”

  “I’m not… we’re okay. Right now, I mean. Shit has happened—there’s no question about that—but we’ve all survived.”

  “I make promises I can’t keep. I know how impossible it is to save everyone, and yet I keep saying I will, as if she’ll hear and help me keep the promises.”

  I put my hand on his shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. Nobody expects you to perform miracles. You just have to do the best you can.”

  “It’s never good enough. Haven’t you noticed? You coming here, us being friends, Drake, the baby, all of it. It’s all part of my punishment. I wasn’t freed from the Fade. I just found my punishment, my own personal hell. It’s meant to happen this way, and I’m terrified because I don’t know how it’s supposed to end.”

  “Shut up,” I said.

  “Excuse me?”

  “I told you to shut up. We’re not puppets on somebody’s string. We make choices that belong to us. There’s no fate, no destiny, nobody writing in a little book all the things that are supposed to happen forever. We chose this life. All of us, in one way or another, chose this.”

  “You told me we forced you into it.”

  “Yeah, well, I was wrong. This feels like home to me in some way I can’t even explain. The thought of going back to the human realm after this is killing me, but—”

  He turned to stare at me. “Wait. You’re going back? After everything? You’re just going to go back?”

  “That’s where we belong—me, Scarlet, and Zoe. We can’t stay here and risk the madness. We don’t belong here.”

  He reached out and cupped my cheeks. “You’re perfect for this place,” he whispered. “You already know that, so why keep running away?”

  I smiled. “Because I’ve never known what was good for me. I’m not planning to go back, Brendan. I’m just not planning on staying here. All I know is that I want Scarlet to be raised in the human realm, where she belongs, if anything happens to me.”

  “You’re so unbelievably selfish,” he whispered, letting go of me.

  “What?”

  “Scarlet is fae. She’s one of us. Denying her the opportunity to know her heritage, to learn her culture, to understand where she comes from is just…” He shook his head. “Have you learned nothing from your own experiences? You hated the not-knowing, hated that empty space that couldn’t be filled because you didn’t understand where you came from truly. It’ll be worse for her. She’s come alive here. You know it. Even when she was in the womb, she prospered once you brought her back home. And you’re just going to take that away from her? Fiadh tells me Setanta is a different child around Scarlet, and even Líle has come to life again, so why would you ever consider taking her away from all of this, from us?”

  “She’s a baby, and she’s mine. I’m sick of faeries trying to take her away from me. Between Sadler and Anya and Drake dropping his hints about her growing up in his court, I’m sick of it all. I’m terrified for her.” I jumped to my feet and started pacing. “I didn’t plan on becoming a mother, but now that I am, I have to do it right, no matter what that takes from me. Can’t you see how much they all will want from her? What she can do?”

  He stood and stepped in my path. “What can she do?” he asked in a low voice. “What are you so afraid of?”

  As I gazed into his eyes, I knew he had seen something in Scarlet. “I’m afraid they’ll use her up, that she’ll never be her own person. I’m scared that someday, down the line, she’ll end up like you and do what’s expected of her instead of making herself happy. You’re a good man, Brendan, but they’ll use you up, too.”

  He ran his hands through my hair, brushing my fringe away f
rom my face, then leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. A surge of desire ran through me, blinding and blood-burning. It was terrifying. It was weakness. I wanted him so badly it hurt, and I couldn’t allow anyone to have that kind of power over me a second time.

  My brain had an insta-argument with itself, then I pushed him away. “I’m not the same anymore.”

  He gave me a sad look. “I’d say you’re almost exactly the same, Cara.”

  And when he left me standing there, I felt cold and empty and alone. But at least I wasn’t weak.

  ***

  We gathered in a circle around the kings. Sorcha stood apart from everyone else, watching anxiously as the two men faced each other. I held on to Scarlet as she reached out for Zoe’s long hair. Zoe smiled. I was pretty sure she had been avoiding me as much as possible, but I wasn’t sure how to mend our relationship.

  “Are you ready?” Brendan asked.

  Drake shrugged. “If you are.”

  Brendan laid his hand on Drake’s right shoulder. Drake mimicked the action.

  “Can you feel that power?” Brendan asked. “The one in the air, weighing down on us? That’s what we’re going to push back against.”

  Drake looked at Dymphna. “Is everyone ready to leave?”

  “Everything’s packed,” she said. “We just need the road to harden enough to make it safe for travel.”

  Drake nodded. “Okay. Let’s try.”

  Brendan took in all of us in one sweeping glance. “Good. The key is to not crumble under the power. Don’t let it get the better of you. Never falter. We’re fighting back, but we do it as one. Trying to push ahead will just hurt you.”

  “Is this safe?” I asked. “Should everyone be here?”

  “I don’t know what will happen,” Brendan said. “I’ve never experienced anything quite like this.”

  “It’s just Sadler,” Sorcha scoffed. “Both of you can beat anything he can do.”

  “Your courts are bigger,” Fiadh said, “but he may have the help of a god.”

  “We have the help of my god,” Sorcha replied with a dark smile. “Death is the most powerful of all.”

  Bekind stepped through the crowd in her human form. I hadn’t seen her as anything but a cat in what seemed like ages. “I think Cara and Scarlet should step back,” she said. “This kind of magic could never be called safe.”

  “You’re a worrier,” Brendan said with a teasing grin.

  “Still.” She tugged on my arm and led me back to our shelter.

  “What are you worried about?” I asked once we were away from the others.

  “Everything.” She looked at me. “They might think it’s worth the risk, but I’d rather keep you safe.”

  “Do you know something we don’t?”

  She shook her head. “I just have a bad feeling. Trust the cat, Cara. Always trust cats.”

  I rolled my eyes and rose up on tiptoes to see what was happening. Brendan and Drake hadn’t moved, but the rest were stepping away from them.

  “They’re calling forth heat to dry up the road,” Bekind explained.

  “Do you think it will work?”

  “I hope so. But I imagine we’ll be fleeing to the human realm soon enough.”

  “Just make sure Scarlet’s with you.”

  Her hand slipped into mine. “You’ll know because you’ll be with us.”

  The crowd around the kings appeared to jump back. A number of people fell, and I suddenly had a better view. A bubble of heat had surrounded the two men. Drake’s cheeks burned red, and Brendan seemed to be holding him up.

  “This isn’t going well,” Bekind said. “Drake isn’t used to this. He’s struggling. If he gives up, Brendan won’t be able to deal with this by himself.”

  “He won’t give up,” I stated.

  A ball of energy seemed to rise from the two kings, and a miniature gale-force wind spun around them, sending the surrounding fae even farther back. Somebody shrieked, and a number of fae rushed to carry away a prone body.

  Light cracked open the sky. Rain poured, only to never reach the ground. The drops rose upward in steam.

  “This is freaky,” I whispered.

  “Be ready,” Bekind said.

  I glanced at her then flinched when her face lit up with red light. I turned to see a flame shoot straight at us. There was no time to run. I ducked and held my daughter close to my chest, expecting us to die together.

  But nothing hit us. After a moment, I opened my eyes.

  “The tent’s on fire,” Bekind cried.

  I looked at where she was pointing and saw that the fabric directly to our left was burning. “I thought—”

  “Move!” She dragged me toward the horses. “Leave, Cara.”

  “They need our help,” I said. “You go. And take Scarlet.”

  Somebody roared, causing me to look back. The kings were on their knees, and people were running around in every direction. But the sun had come out, and the rain, lightning, and wind had stopped. The fae calmed and began tending to injuries and putting out the fires.

  “That was weird,” I said. “I’ve no idea what happened.”

  Bekind stared at me. “You don’t?”

  “No. I mean, I saw what you saw. There was fire shooting everywhere. I thought one was heading right for us.”

  “You didn’t see?”

  I frowned. “No. I was trying to protect Scarlet.”

  “You don’t know,” Bekind said, shaking her head. “You really have no idea.”

  My stomach dropped. “What are you talking about?”

  “Cara, the fire came for us. You were about to die. I would have suffered, but I can’t die. You and Scarlet were done for. But at the last second, the fire just turned and moved in a different direction.”

  “That’s not possible. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Cara,” she said in a stern voice, “was it Scarlet? Did she move the fire?”

  “How could she? And why would she? You know her. She has no fear.”

  “Maybe she has no fear because she can make things happen,” Bekind said. She looked at Scarlet, a sense of wonder on her face. “She’s more than we thought, Cara. She has power from both kings. They shared a body, and that body had power. She has power, too.” She spun in a circle, her eyes bright. “I’m so stupid. Of course, she has power. This is how they found us in the human realm. She left traces of magic behind. How did I not see it before?”

  “You don’t understand,” I said, my eyes brimming with tears. “She didn’t do anything. There’s some kind of magic around her, something protecting her. You remember what the Miacha said, right? When she was born, they told us then that she was protected. Sorcha said Scarlet was dying in the Dark Court, but she didn’t die. She’s just… protected by magic.”

  “That’s not normal magic,” Bekind scoffed. “Do you think the likes of Drake or Brendan can do this?”

  “Stop putting this on my baby.” I bit the inside of my cheek so hard I tasted blood. “She didn’t do this.”

  “Then it’s more important than we thought,” Bekind said. “The only one who could save her from death was a deity. This is huge, Cara. Scarlet is meant for great things.”

  “What are you on about now?”

  “Even the gods think so,” she said as if in a trance. “There were always stories, prophesies of what was to come, but this is more than I expected. Scarlet has been chosen by the gods themselves. She’s important.”

  “She’s a baby!”

  “A child of the gods,” Bekind whispered, and I wanted to throw up.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Once the fires had been put out, the success of the two kings working together was all anyone talked about. To my relief, Bekind had been the only one to see anything strange happen with us. By the time everything was packed away, the road had hardened in the sun enough for us to move on safely.

  I switched carriages so that Scarlet could spend time with the o
ther children. I had so many questions about my daughter, but I knew nothing for certain. I hoped that Setanta could shed some light on the subject.

  “I hope you don’t mind,” I said to Fiadh as Bran helped me into the carriage. Though there were fewer seats, it was the most spacious carriage. The carriage moved slower than the others, so the journey wasn’t as rough. Brendan had made sure of that, and I felt it was unusually thoughtful of him.

  “Of course not,” Fiadh said. “The children play well together.”

  “I’m going to ride today,” Conn said. “Lean out and call if you need me.” He leaned down to run a hand through Setanta’s hair then left.

  “He loves that kid,” I said.

  Fiadh covered a sharp gasp.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  Fiadh laughed, but she looked about to cry. “Nothing, nothing.” She pointed at an area that she had set up as a sort of playpen. “You can put Scarlet in there. And don’t worry. It’s safe. They’re well buffered.”

  “I know,” I said, though I still felt a little uneasy. I settled Scarlet in next to Eithne, who immediately hugged my daughter. “She’s super sweet, Dymphna.”

  “She must get that from her father,” Dymphna said drily.

  I grinned at her and sat down. The girls immediately started to play. Eithne was a couple of years older than Scarlet, but she still had a baby face. Setanta watched them with interest, and after a few moments, he made an effort to pull himself up into a sitting position. Fiadh moved to help him, but he scowled at her until she backed off.

  “Independent little man,” I said. “I hope the baby doesn’t bother him.”

  “Oh, no,” Fiadh said. “He’s happier when the girls are around.”

  “It’s weird,” I said. “The time thing, I mean. Scarlet could end up looking the oldest if she goes back to the human realm.”

  “Young children grow much the same here as they do in the human realm. It’s when they become teenagers that the changes begin to slow down. In any case, age isn’t important here,” Fiadh said. “Neither is time. Those ships may never arrive.”