Nothing Has Ever Felt Like This
Page 1
Also by Mary B. Morrison
Somebody’s Gotta Be On Top
He’s Just a Friend
Never Again Once More
Soul Mates Dissipate
Who’s Making Love
Justice, Just Us Just Me
Nothing Has Ever Felt Like This
MARY B. MORRISON
KENSINGTON PUBLISHING CORP.
http://www.kensingtonbooks.com
All copyrighted material within is Attributor Protected.
Table of Contents
Also by
Title Page
Dedication
PREFACE
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Who Do You Love
GET REAL WITH THE SPIRIT WITHIN YOU
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
CHAPTER 22
CHAPTER 23
CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER 25
CHAPTER 26
CHAPTER 27
CHAPTER 28
CHAPTER 29
CHAPTER 30
CHAPTER 31
CHAPTER 32
CHAPTER 33
AUTHOR’S MESSAGE
A READING GROUP GUIDE - NOTHING HAS EVER FELT LIKE THIS
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
AUTHOR’S NOTE
Copyright Page
Dedicated to three women of distinction.
Karen Thomas, my editor,
Joan Schulhafer, my publicist,
Claudia Menza, my agent.
PREFACE
Soul Mates Dissipate, Never Again Once More, He’s Just a Friend, Somebody’s Gotta Be On Top, Nothing Has Ever Felt like This, and my next two novels, When Somebody Loves You Back and Our Little Secret are intertwined. I recommend, if possible, reading the series in the order listed above. Hopefully the brief background below will help the reader better understand the characters’ connections. To preview an excerpt of each novel, visit www.marymorrison.com.
Soul Mates Dissipate is, for now, the beginning. This page-turning drama takes you on a journey with Jada Diamond Tanner and Wellington Jones, aka . . . soul mates. Wellington’s mother, Cynthia Jones—who has a history of her own with her sister Katherine, friend Susan, and ex-lover Keith—secretly despises Jada. Cynthia invites a sexy, single woman, Melanie Marie Thompson, to live with Wellington, with the hopes of sabotaging Wellington’s engagement to Jada.
Never Again Once More, the sequel to Soul Mates Dissipate, spans twenty years into the lives of Jada and Wellington. Darius Jones, Jada’s son, is born and matures to twenty years of age. Before the end of this story, Jada appoints Darius as executive vice president of her company. Immediately Darius takes advantage of the fringe benefit by having sex with four of his mother’s top-level directors.
In He’s Just a Friend, Fancy Taylor is a beautiful but not so brilliant woman on the move to conquer a rich husband by any means necessary. Along her journey she’ll meet several male friends, some of whom become foes, and eventually Fancy meets Jada’s son, Darius Jones.
In Somebody’s Gotta Be On Top, regardless of the situation, Darius Jones is always on top. His motto, “If it doesn’t make money, it doesn’t make sense,” includes the women in his life. That is, until he meets Fancy Taylor.
In Nothing Has Ever Felt Like This, will Fancy Taylor outsmart Darius Jones for his money? Or will Fancy fall in love with Darius? What happens when two people love so deeply, they’re willing to die for, with, and because of one another? By the end of their story, Darius and Fancy will learn the true meaning of love.
In When Somebody Loves You Back, death has a way of making people appreciate life. Which one of your favorite characters will die? Will Jada take Wellington back? Or does Jada sign divorce papers? Why did Melanie mysteriously disappear? Who humbles Darius? Will Fancy marry Darius or Desmond? Will Darius marry Fancy or Ashlee? Can Tyronne remain faithful to SaVoy? Or does marriage bore Tyronne after SaVoy helps him establish a successful business? Now that Candice has earned millions writing and selling screenplays based on her friends’ lives, spiced up her lifestyle, and thrown away all of her conservative clothing, will Terrell ask for a divorce and half of Candice’s empire? Will Darius kill Candice for publicizing his personal life on the big screen? Or does Candice’s movie production catapult Darius’s celebrity status to a higher level? This novel gives closure to all the main characters in the series, except Cynthia Elaine Jones.
In Our Little Secret, if you’ve read each novel, as I mentioned before, Cynthia Jones has a history so moving, trust me, her story will be worth the wait. Cynthia’s story creates the beginning and concludes the end of the seven-book series.
After Cynthia’s novel, Our Little Secret, I know I promised not to keep you waiting for Kiss Me: Now Tell Me You Love Me, a chilling drama about Harrison and Angela Gray, but my new characters Destiny, Brenda, Shay, Trevor, Malcolm, and Larry have spoken to me and claimed my next series entitled: Dicktation. The Dicktation series, set in my hometown of New Orleans—known as the city that care forgot—explores the wildest sexual fantasies imaginable while conquering some of the most difficult relationship challenges. Ladies, if you thought you wanted a southern man, wait until you read this series. Men, if you’ve ever wondered if southern women practice voodoo, you’ll find out. Here’s a tip: Never kiss before you smell.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
There is interconnectedness amongst people. Everybody needs somebody and everyone should have a personal relationship with his or her God. No one person becomes successful without the assistance of family, friends, and others whom are often unknown contributors.
When I order food at a drive-through or dine at restaurants, I’m thankful that someone prepares and delivers the meal. Wherever I use a public rest room, I’m pleased when it’s clean. I appreciate the support and dedication exhibited by booksellers, readers, writers, editors, publicists, agents, parents, coaches, students, airline personnel, bankers, brokers, teachers, janitors, sanitation engineers, policemen, firemen, war veterans, military enlistees, doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, et cetera. To each of you I say “thanks” for your contributions to our society and, “Please use your skills, talents, and education for the betterment of mankind, for we all shall perish but let’s cherish one another while we exist on this planet called earth.”
I’ve never written a book without expressing gratitude for my family and I never will. In loving memory of my biological parents, Joseph Henry Morrison and Elester Noel. To my deceased great aunt and uncle, who reared me, Willie Frinkle and Ella Beatrice Turner, I love you.
To my loving son, Jesse Byrd, Jr., I love you, and remember, now that you’re living on your own in college, there are times to practice, study, and make sacrifices for your future, and there are opportunities to chill, date, and simply have fun. Remain a wise man and never confuse the two or you will fall short of maximizing your potential. I’m proud of you, sweetie. You are truly a wonderful young man with great character and you are Mommy’s most cherished gift from God.
To my siblings, I love you guys immensely: Wayne, Derrick, Andrea, and Regina Morrison, Margie Rickerson, and Debra Noel. A special thanks to Angela Dionne Davis, my niece who faithfully reads each of my
novels and blesses me with sharing her candid thoughts. Each of my siblings has wonderful spouses whom have also supported me over the years. Thanks to Angela Lewis-Morrison, John Ferguson, Dannette Morrison, Roland Johnson, and Desi Rickerson.
Shannette Slaughter, Barbara Cooper, Carmen Polk, Gloria Mallette, E. Lynn Harris, Mary Monroe, Carl Weber, Victoria Christopher Murray, Kim Roby, Ruth and Howard Kees, Vanessa Ibani-toru, Brenda and Aaron, Lillie Zinnerman, Erma Harris, Geri Henson, Daisy Davis, and my McDonogh No. 35 Roneagles family, thanks for your continued support.
To my entire Kensington family: Joan, Karen, Jessica, Mary, Maureen, Nicole, Steven Zacharius, and Barbara Bennett, I am grateful for all you do.
Felicia Polk, you are my friend and the world’s greatest publicist, thanks for believing in me. Much love to my man Curtis Webster. I have so many more people to acknowledge but I also have other books to write, so if I didn’t mention you this time, forgive me now, remind me later.
Who Do You Love
How do you know when you’re in love
Is it the butterflies
Or when you ask yourself why
Why do you settle
Why won’t you leave
When your lover pushes you away
You beg to stay
Life without your partner
You don’t want to breathe
Or live
Or give
Some stranger a chance
To recycle your heart
You know
The part
You’ve already given to someone else
Is that love
Your heart beats to the rhythm of your lover’s drum
Suddenly there is silence
Echoing in your mind
But who stopped drumming
How do you know when you’re in love
When you are not
But you want to be
But infidelity
Then you don’t care for me
Like you used to
Because you don’t do . . .
You know
The things I do
To show you care
Or is it the way you feel
When the other one is not there
I miss you
Or is love an illusion in your mind
Created to share
The emotions you bare
But how do know when you’re in love
Is it simply because you say you care
I love you too
Is it the way you speak
Or the way you stroke
A piece
Of your mate’s anatomy
Evoking pleasure
Beyond measure
Is that love
Or lust
That cums through the guts
And explodes from the nuts
Showering seeds of life
The way you like
Making you feel real good
Like when Stephanie Mills melodically sings
“Baby, I feel good all over”
But do you discharge
Or discard
Then disregard
The lifeline that connects
The two
When the shower is neither
For nor from you
Or do you forgive
Forget
Or move on to the next ex
With your heart not your head
Anyone can share a bed
But can you sleep in the one you’ve made
Or do you simply change the sheets
And wait for the next pair of feet
To walk its way into your heart
Suddenly the beat of the drum stops again
You gasp for air
From someone who truly cares
For you
How do know when you’re in love
How do you show the intangible
Master of faith
Which masturbates
In the mind, heart, and soul
Do you hold
Your lover accountable
Insurmountable
To your standards
And measures
Of love
Or do you surrender
To the contender
Or are you a pretender
How do you know when you’re in love
You don’t
You see love is but a vision
Of what one desires to have
To hold
And sometimes to be
Love unfolds
In time
First within the heart
Then within your mind
Because you cannot separate
The ying from the yang
Ain’t that some shit
You’re called a bastard or a bitch
Then hit with an invisible fist
Filled with anger, hate, and envy
But here’s the trick
Where is the click
Or flip of the switch
Or changing of the script
It’s kinda sad when
Your heart doesn’t even know when to quit
Or how to sit
And simply be quiet
How do you know when you’re in love
It’s not when you set someone free
Excuse me your majesty
But you cannot possess
That which does not belong to thee
You see lovers are not property
So what if you’ve tied the knots
Of forget me nots
To have and to hold
Until death do you part
Well that sounds smart
Or clever
Whateva
But love does not require a signature
Or license
Or a spoken word
No nouns
No people
No actions
No verbs
How do you know when you are in love
It’s simple
When you’re willing to give
The life you live
The ultimate price
Sacrifice
Love does not lie
True love is when you are willing to die
In order to let someone else live
Who do you love
GET REAL WITH THE SPIRIT WITHIN YOU
Do you believe in magic? The power of the spirit? Do you have faith? Or do you believe in your God? Intangible things that you cannot see, do they exist? Love. Truth. Respect. If so, where? How about the presence of a deceased loved one? Does he or she speak to you? If you believe in any of the above then my next question is, “Do you believe in yourself?”
Before you answer, respond to these questions. Do you suppress the spirit within you? Do you allow others to use you? Abuse you? Disrespect you? Are you oblivious to your self-worth? How much are you worth? Seriously. Are you afraid to take a risk? Live your dreams? Fall in love? Show someone you care? Are you unhappy more than you’re happy?
If you’ve answered yes to any of the questions in the aforementioned paragraph, I want you to do this. Every day for the rest of your life, look into your soul. If you have the gift of sight—it is genuinely a gift—stare into your eyes in a mirror until you can see yourself beyond the physical. If you are blind, and many people with vision cannot see, allow your spirit to search your soul.
Say aloud to yourself, “I love me more than I love anyone else.” Repeat these words until you believe them. Why? Because people who truly love themselves do not allow others to use, mistreat, or abuse them. I’m not suggesting that you won’t be hurt mentally, physically, spiritually, or emotionally. What I am saying is that you will begin to recognize the early warning signs of negative people who consciously and sometimes unconsciously inflect pain upon you. You will determine the individuals who remain an intimate part of your life and those you need to sever ties with and move on.
Then you must stand in your own truth. Not denial, but truth. Get real with
the spirit within you. The simplest way to express yourself to those who attempt to hurt you is to gently respond with these kind words, “I love me more than I love you. Therefore, I will not create, perpetuate, nor allow your unacceptable behavior. I’m not saying I don’t love you because I do. But if you love me, too, then I need for you to respect and hear me.”
Your partner should be your lover, your friend, and your confidant. Your friends should simply be your friends. Not your boss, or your dictator, or your oppressor. Be careful that you are not the culprit of your demise. More often than not people initiate their own problems through cultivating bad habits and/or accepting adverse behavior.
You may have to speak the above words or something similar several times before the person understands you. Change takes time but your actions must reflect your words. Whether you are on your job or in your home, speak calmly in your moments of frustration and despair. Remember, anger generates hostility. Be at peace and become one with the love inside of you. For only you can make manifest your destiny.
If you don’t remember anything else I’ve said, do not forget these words sung best by the late, great Aaliyah, “At your best you are love.” Know that those words apply to your spirit within. It is true. At your best you are love. Don’t give away your power. You don’t need approval to know you are wonderful. If a positive change in your life is to come, personal growth has to come not from you but through you.