Forbidden Miles

by Claire Kingsley

  He shrugged. “Nope. They said I’m an adult with my own life, so they didn’t understand why I was upset.”

  “I’m stunned that they didn’t tell you.”

  “Well, I don’t see them very often.”

  “Really? But don’t they live here in town?”

  He shifted and propped his arm up on the back of the couch. “Yeah, they do. But we’re not really close.”

  There was something in his eyes. It was like he was scrutinizing me, trying to decide if he wanted to keep talking. If he was going to trust me with something important. I desperately hoped he would. I wanted to understand the pain I saw behind his easy smile. And I could feel him on the brink of sharing it with me.

  I had an urge to push—to ask him about it. But I didn’t. Instead, I held his gaze, and hoped. Hoped what I was feeling between us was really happening, and not just a childish fantasy bubbling to the surface.

  “I don’t think they wanted kids,” he said, finally. His words hung in the air for a second and there was a look of relief on his face, as if he’d needed to say it.

  I had no idea how to reply. I wanted to grab him and pull him to my chest and stroke his hair. But I had a feeling he didn’t want me to baby him like that, any more than I wanted people babying me over my father leaving. “What makes you think that?”

  “I’m pretty sure I was an accident,” he said. “And just… things they said over the years. I overheard them talk about how things would be different when I grew up, wishing time would go by faster. Plus, my dad had a vasectomy when my mom was pregnant with me, and she had her tubes tied immediately after I was born. They wanted to make sure it didn’t happen again.”

  “Oh my god. Did they tell you that?”

  “Yeah, well…” He shifted on the couch, seeming to relax. “When you were born, Cooper came to school every day going on and on about how great it was to have a baby sister. So one day I went home and asked my parents if I was going to get a baby sister, too. And they said no, they’d decided not to have more children. I think I asked more questions. I was too young to know the biology of it, but they said they’d both had procedures so they wouldn’t have more kids.”

  “Way to crush your little boy dreams.”

  The corner of his mouth turned up in a grin. “Right? I was pretty jealous of Cooper.”

  “Well, who wouldn’t be, with me as a baby sister.”

  His smile widened, tugging hard at my heart.

  “Exactly. It was tough. I tried everything to get them to notice me. My dad liked watching sports, so I played sports. And I won shit all the time. I had shelves of trophies and medals. But he only came to a handful of my games. We were state football champions senior year of high school, and I was the only kid on the team who didn’t have parents in the crowd.”

  “Oh god, Chase.”

  “I tried doing the opposite, too. I went through phases where I raised hell. I figured out how many times you had to get in trouble to get the principal to call your parents in for a meeting. And they’d come, but just ground me forever and make me stay in my room all the time. Sophomore year I even tried hard drugs for a while.”

  “Holy shit.”

  He shook his head and laughed. “Only until Cooper found out. He put a stop to that shit. He was madder at me than my parents were. They just said I better quit or they’d send me away to rehab. I’d gotten high a few times, I didn’t need rehab. But Cooper stuck to me like glue for months. Hardly let me out of his sight. I’d been skipping school, too, so he started coming to my house to pick me up in the morning to make sure I went. And most afternoons, I went home with him. Had dinner at your house. I’m still surprised your mom tolerated me.”

  “I remember that.” It had seemed like Chase was always at our house. At the time, I certainly hadn’t complained. I’d been able to look at him all through dinner every day. “Mom never minded, though.”

  “I guess not,” he said. “After that, I quit trying with my parents. I just stuck with Cooper and tried not to care what they did.”

  My heart broke into a million pieces for him. How could his parents not care? How could they not see how great he was? They were like my dad, throwing away something amazing. I wondered if they had any idea what they were losing out on by alienating their son. No wonder he and Cooper were such good friends.

  “I’m really glad you had Cooper.”

  His easygoing grin was back. “Me too. I mean, Coop’s crazy, but he’s a good guy.”

  “He is.”

  “How are you doing?” he asked. “You had all that shit with your dad, and your half-siblings and stuff. How are you handling all that?”

  It was the first time anyone had asked me a direct question about my father and his affairs. Everyone else tiptoed around the topic, as if I was too fragile to talk about it.

  “I’m… I don’t know. I’m torn. On the one hand, I wasn’t close to my dad. And he was gone all the time anyway, so it doesn’t seem all that different. But…”

  I paused and scrutinized Chase like he’d scrutinized me before he’d shared. I hadn’t talked to anyone about this, but as I looked at his gentle expression, I knew I could trust him. I knew it was safe to talk.

  “He was cheating. I don’t want to make it sound like I know what my mom is going through because my boyfriend of less than a year cheated on me. But… that was awful. I’ve never felt so betrayed. It wasn’t just that we’d been dating and the expectation was that we wouldn’t date other people. I trusted him with my body, you know? And I know sex can just be sex or whatever, but it meant something to me. I thought it meant something to him, too.

  “When I realized how wrong I’d been, I felt so stupid. He’d been sleeping with my roommate for months. How could I not have known? But then I think about my mom. Chase, my sister is older than me. My dad hid an entire family from her for over twenty years. He had children with another woman. He saw them on weekends and took them on vacations. And all the while, my mom was here, raising four kids mostly on her own. And then to find out that her husband had been betraying her for more than two decades? God, how you do cope with that?”

  “I don’t know. I can’t even imagine.”

  “My mom is doing really well, but this whole thing is so crazy.”

  “Sorry, but your dad’s an idiot,” he said.

  “He really is.”

  He smiled, his expression so sweet and genuine it sent a cascade of butterflies through my tummy. “It sucks being stuck with a shitty parent. But it’s not all bad, right?”

  “No, definitely not all bad.” I grabbed a handful of popcorn to distract myself from the urge to jump in his lap. “So, movie?”

  “Yep. Let’s do it.”

  We settled onto the couch and I turned off the lamp. The tension between us was palpable, and I wondered if he felt it, too. It was hard to tell. He hadn’t said anything about yesterday, and at this point, I wondered if he was going to.

  He was certainly keeping things friendly. As the movie went on, my disappointment grew. He didn’t move closer. Didn’t brush my hand when I reached for popcorn. In fact, he put the bowl between us, effectively eliminating any possibility of touching.

  Why did he have to be so delicious? He always had been. It just wasn’t fair. He was athletic and toned, with bulges in all the right places. A perfect mix of rugged and pretty boy, with a square jaw, a bit of stubble, that sweet smile, and stormy gray eyes.

  It was no wonder I’d had such a crush on him. Spending any amount of time with him seemed to turn me to mush. And now that I knew what his lips tasted like? Kill me.

  After the movie ended, he took the bowl into the kitchen. He cleaned up, even washing the bowl and drying it with a dish towel.

  “You don’t have to do that,” I said.

  “It’s okay, I’ve got it.” He put the bowl in the cupboard and grabbed his grocery bag with Zoe’s M&Ms. “I should get going. It’s late, and I’m sure you have class tomorrow.”

>   “Yeah, I do.” I followed him to the front door.

  He opened it and paused in the doorway. “Thanks for hanging out with me tonight. And thanks for listening.”

  “You too.”

  “I’m not sure how to bring this up, exactly, but… I’m sorry about yesterday.”

  My stomach dropped straight through the floor. He was sorry. Did that mean he thought it had been a mistake? Had tonight been all about establishing he was just another brother to me?

  “It’s okay.”

  “Good, because I’m hoping I’ll get a do-over.”

  “A do-over?”

  He tucked my hair behind my ear, the brush of his fingers against my skin making my breath catch. “Yeah, but not yet.”

  I laughed a little to cover the nervousness making my stomach tingle. The way he was looking at me was not the least bit brotherly. “Chase, what are you talking about?”

  He took a deep breath. “I like you. A lot. That kiss was… I shouldn’t have done it the way I did. But despite that, it was kind of amazing, right?”

  “Um… yeah.”

  He grinned again, and god, that smile. He was going to kill me with that thing. “So, I’m hoping you’ll give me another chance. Except this time after a date instead of after I break into your house, steal your keys, and change your oil.”

  “So you admit you broke in?”

  “I’ll do just about anything for attention. You know this about me already.”

  I laughed again, but oh my god, he’d said date. “Are you asking me out?”

  The hint of pink in his cheeks was so cute, I wanted to eat him up. “Almost. I’m asking if I can ask you out. I want to give your brother a heads-up before I make a move.”

  My brother. Who knew how Cooper would react to this. “You’re brave if you’re willing to ask Cooper if you can date his Brynncess.”

  “You’re worth the risk.”

  With that one simple sentence, I was done. Crush on Chase Reilly, reactivated. With a vengeance.

  He tucked my hair behind my ear again—oh my god, please do that forever and ever, Chase—and just about knocked me over with his smile. “So, what do you think? Can I ask you out? Maybe get another shot at that kiss?”

  I was trying so hard to play it cool—and failing miserably. Don’t giggle, Brynn. Don’t giggle. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

  “Awesome.” He stared at me for a moment and licked his lips. “I should get going before…”

  Before you kiss me and I drag you inside and rip your clothes off? “Yeah.”

  For a second, I thought about kissing him anyway, Cooper be damned. He was so close, I could pop up on my tiptoes and reach. He’d kissed me without warning yesterday, so why not return the favor?

  But he slipped a hand around my waist, gently drawing me closer, and pressed his lips to my forehead. He lingered there, his hand lightly caressing my lower back, his mouth touching my skin. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. His scent was an intoxicating combination of fresh, clean soap mixed with engine oil and grease. I wanted to bury my face in his neck.

  Slowly, as if he was reluctant to do so, he pulled away. “I’ll call you, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He reached out and caressed my cheek with his thumb, then walked out to his truck.

  It probably made me look like a smitten little girl, but I stood there watching him until his truck disappeared down the gravel drive.

  Of course, smitten didn’t even cover it.

  I was falling for him, and we hadn’t even had a real date yet. It wasn’t just that I’d crushed on him for years. That was little girl stuff, based on his adorable smile and gorgeous body. What I was feeling now was different. I wasn’t crushing on Chase just because he was cute.

  That guy who’d just spent the last few hours with me? I liked him. A lot.

  It was exhilarating, but also scary. I wasn’t dumb, I knew about his track record with girls. I knew he didn’t date very often—mostly just picked up random girls or had short-term flings.

  But he wasn’t asking me for that. If all he wanted was to get in my pants—if I was some sort of forbidden conquest—why would he wait to talk to Cooper? And why would he come over just to hang out and talk?

  I was positive he’d never shared things with any of those other girls. He hadn’t told them about his parents, or his childhood, or how it all made him feel. If he had, they’d never have let him go. They’d have poked holes in every condom so they could get knocked up with his babies just to keep him.

  But he had opened up to me, and I knew that meant something.

  I still didn’t know where this was going. But I was pretty excited to find out.

  Ten

  Chase

  I didn’t really have a reason to be at Salishan. Cooper was out of town, so it wasn’t like I was meeting him. And their machinery was all functioning properly, so I didn’t need to stop there for a repair. Or even scheduled maintenance. But I still pulled into the grounds after work on Monday and parked near the Big House.

  Brynn was like a freaking magnet. Her pull was irresistible. I’d thought about her all day. I’d almost texted her at least ten times, but I didn’t want to be that guy. Things were fine between us. I’d laid my cards on the table, let her know I was into her. Thankfully, she hadn’t shot me down. I had a chance with her, which was all I wanted at this point.

  Actually, I wanted a lot more than a chance, but I had to take things one day at a time.

  Still, I could come see what she was up to. That wasn’t a big deal. I’d keep my hands—and other things—to myself. I was a horny bastard most of the time, but I wasn’t an animal.

  Besides, Brynn was going to be worth the wait.

  My phone buzzed in my pocket, so I pulled it out to check. When I saw the text, I almost dropped it, like it was suddenly on fire. Before I could even open the first one, there were three in rapid succession.

  Shelly: thinking about u

  Shelly: are you busy?

  Shelly: wanna hang out?

  I scowled down at my phone. No, I did not want to hang out. What was wrong with her? I’d broken up with her—twice. It wasn’t like I’d been stringing her along. I’d told her we were over. She’d done this last time, too. She’d been angry as fuck at me, then a little time had gone by, and she’d started this let’s hang out crap.

  I wasn’t getting sucked in again. I didn’t bother to reply—just stuck my phone back in my pocket and went in search of Brynn.

  She was over near the guest cottages, struggling beneath the weight of a big box. I jogged over and grabbed it at the base.

  “Here, let me get that for you.”

  “It’s okay,” she said, her voice strained. “I’ve got it.”

  “Yeah, but if you give it to me, you’ll make me feel needed and important, so really you’re doing me a favor.”

  “Okay, tough guy.” She laughed and let me take the weight of the box.

  I shifted it, so it leaned against my chest and peeked at her around the outside edge. “Where am I taking it?”

  She pointed away from the cottages. “Storage shed. We’re actually moving a bunch of stuff around.”

  “I guess I came at a good time, then.”

  “Yeah, you did. I’ll go grab something else—a lighter something else, I guess—and follow you over.”

  She caught up with me near the storage sheds; there were two on this end of the property. Ben came out of one, carrying another box.

  “Chase.” Ben nodded to me. “That can go in the newer shed. This one’s letting in a lot of moisture, so we’re clearing it out.”

  Mrs. Miles came out of the second shed and brushed her hands together. “How are we looking?”

  “Do you want to go through these?” Ben asked.

  “Nope,” Mrs. Miles said, her voice decisive. “Dump it all.”

  Ben grinned at her. “As you wish.”

  Brynn leaned closer and lowered her voice. “T
hat stuff was my dad’s.”

  “Gotcha.”

  “All right, Chase, I hope you came to work,” Ben said. “We need to clear everything out of this one and rearrange things in the second shed so there’s room for the stuff Brynn needs to store.”

  “I’ll feed you dinner for helping, how about that?” Mrs. Miles asked.

  “I won’t say no to that, Mrs. Miles. But I’ll help either way.”

  She smiled at me. “Honey, you know you can call me Shannon.”

  “Yeah, I know.” I winked at her. She’d been telling me I could call her Shannon since I was in high school, but I never did. It didn’t seem right to use her first name.

  I got to work, moving boxes out of the old shed. A lot of the stuff had belonged to Brynn’s dad, so Ben and I hauled it over to Ben’s pickup and tossed it in the back. I had a feeling Ben had no problem helping with this particular task. Kind of wondered if he’d take Mr. Miles’ shit to the dump, or light it all on fire somewhere. Hell, I wanted to light it on fire. I fucking hated that guy for what he’d done to his family.

  Brynn still had some things to move out of her cottage, so Ben and I helped her take them to the shed. Mrs. Miles poked through a few more boxes before declaring them trash, so we took those out to Ben’s truck.

  As Ben and I walked back toward the girls, Mrs. Miles came out of the old shed. She stumbled and sank onto the ground, clutching her ankle. Before I could blink, Ben was already sprinting toward her.

  Brynn was closer. She crouched down, and I heard her asking if she was okay. Ben got to her while I jogged the rest of the way to catch up.

  “I’m fine. Really.” She winced as she rubbed her ankle and lower leg. “I think I just twisted it.”

  Ben carefully stretched her leg out and removed her shoe and sock. With gentle fingers, he prodded her ankle and turned her foot. “Let me just check. Does this hurt?”

  She winced again. “A little.”

  “I’ll go get an ice pack,” Brynn said and started off toward her mom’s house.