Forbidden Miles

by Claire Kingsley

  The florist was down a side street, not far from Chase and Cooper’s apartment. It was a cute little shop with flowers and greenery spilling from potted plants and hanging baskets. The sweet scent of flowers wafted on the light spring breeze, intensifying when I opened the door.

  “I’ll be right with you,” came a voice from the back. It sounded like Mona, the head florist. I’d spoken to her on the phone already. Zoe and Jamie both said she was the best. I had some ideas for bouquets, but I was excited to see what she had in mind.

  The bell above the door jingled, but when I turned, it wasn’t Chase. It was Cooper.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Nice to see you too, Brynncess.” He nudged my arm. “Aren’t you happy to see me? I even showered first.”

  I waved my hand in front of my nose. “You sure about that?”

  He lifted his arm and sniffed his armpit, then tried to shove it in my face. “Yeah, I smell great.”

  “Oh my god, get off me,” I said, pushing him away.

  He snickered but backed off. “So what are we doing?”

  “We? I know what I’m doing, but I’m not sure about you.”

  “Mom said you were down here.”

  Lovely. My mom was trying to orchestrate a truce between us again. “I don’t really need you to give me sarcastic commentary about all my flower choices.”

  He gasped, his eyes widening as if he were shocked. “What? I would do no such thing. I’m never sarcastic.”

  “Cake that tastes like bitter lies? Yeah, you were enormously helpful in choosing my wedding cake.”

  He laughed and pretended to wipe his eyes. “God, I’m fucking hilarious.”

  I crossed my arms, determined not to laugh at him. I wasn’t even going to give him the satisfaction of a smile.

  Mona came out with a stack of large binders in her arms. “Sorry about that. Let’s go to the table in the back and we can take a look. If you have ideas already, that’s wonderful. But I have plenty of options if you’re not sure where to start.”

  Cooper put his hands in his pockets and followed me back. Apparently he’d decided he was helping me choose flowers. Truthfully, I was glad to have someone else here to weigh in. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, and it would be nice to get a second opinion. If Cooper decided to behave, that is, which was doubtful.

  I took a quick peek at my phone again, just to see if Chase had texted. No messages.

  “Are you sure she has time to get her order in?” Cooper asked. “There’s no need to be impatient, right? It would probably be better if she waited another year. Or five.”

  “Cooper.”

  Mona smiled. “No, as long as we finalize the order in the next few days, it’s fine.”

  Scowling, he crossed his arms.

  “Don’t mind him, he’s just being an obnoxious older brother,” I said.

  “Obnoxious? I’m offended, Brynncess. I haven’t even started to be obnoxious.”

  Mona just chuckled as she opened the first binder. “Now, June is a traditional month for weddings, so if you want, we can stick with classic white roses. Maybe something like this.”

  She showed me a picture of a bouquet of white rose buds together in a tight bundle.

  “That’s really pretty, but I think it’s more formal than I want.”

  “No problem,” Mona said, turning the pages. “Maybe something along these lines?”

  Cooper stepped closer. “Oh my god, I love calla lilies. They hold their shape so well.”

  Mona nodded. “They really do. They’re great to work with and they make gorgeous bridal bouquets.”

  He started flipping through the pages, pointing out different flowers. The next thing I knew, he and Mona were deep in a discussion about the properties of certain plants and flowers.

  The bell above the door jingled again.

  “Sorry I’m late.” Chase stopped just inside the shop, his eyes sliding from me to Cooper.

  Cooper stiffened, and my heart skipped a few beats. Great, were these two going to throw down in the middle of the flower shop?

  “As you were saying, Mona?” Cooper said, dramatically turning his back on Chase.

  Chase rolled his eyes and walked to the back of the shop. He was dressed in a battered t-shirt, stained jeans, and his work boots. His rough hands looked dirty, but I could tell he’d washed them. They often looked like that after he’d been working all day.

  I stepped close and slipped my hands around his waist. He was a little grimy, but god it was sexy. I leaned in to smell his neck, trailing my nose across his stubbly skin, feeling his Adam’s apple bob in his throat.

  “Careful,” he said quietly. “I probably don’t smell very good.”

  “Mm,” I hummed into his neck. He smelled amazing. The hint of perspiration on his skin was intoxicating. “You smell good.”

  He held me tighter and I felt the hardness of his erection pressing against me. I loved that he responded to me like this. Inappropriate to make him hard in the middle of a florist appointment? Probably. A turn-on? Definitely.

  Cooper cleared his throat behind me.

  “Cockblocker,” Chase murmured.

  I giggled and stepped back.

  “Sorry I’m late,” he said. “I meant to leave work early enough to go home and shower, but I didn’t have time. I came straight here.”

  “That’s okay. I’m glad you made it.” I trailed my fingers down his chest. “I know it’s just flowers and you probably don’t care that much. But I wanted you to at least see the options.”

  He touched my face, his hand rough against my cheek. “Of course I care. This is important to you, so it’s important to me.”

  Cooper cleared his throat again.

  I looked over my shoulder. “No one invited you.”

  “Mom did.”

  “Are we ten?”

  “No, last I checked, you’re twenty-one and only on the brink of adulthood.”

  I clapped a hand to my forehead and ground my teeth together. God, he was driving me crazy. But getting in digs about my age was better than hostile glares at Chase, so maybe this was good. It was hard to tell with Cooper.

  Chase glanced at him, and I could see the uncertainty in his eyes. It was more than uncertainty. It was pain. He was hurting over the rift with Cooper. I was hit with potent mix of guilt, sadness, and frustration. I’d never meant to cause this between them. I hated that I was the problem. If Chase hadn’t wanted to be with me, he and Cooper would still be off doing… whatever it was they did. They’d both be happy again.

  I took a deep breath and clasped Chase’s hand. He squeezed mine back and we went to the table to look at flowers with Mona. And Cooper, apparently.

  “Brynn, will you remind Chase that he left pizza in the fridge at home and it’s going to go bad?”

  “Um, he’s right here. He can hear you.”

  “Hmm,” Cooper said, flipping idly through the binder pages. “Just tell him he needs to clean up his shit.”

  Mona stifled a laugh.

  Chase just shook his head. “So, what are you thinking for the flowers? These look nice.”

  “Tell Chase those aren’t in season in June. They’re better for fall.”

  “Cooper, stop.”

  “That’s okay, you can tell Cooper his knowledge of flowers is impressive. As is the depth of his assholery.”

  “Brynn, please tell Chase there’s only one asshole in this room, and it isn’t me.”

  I stifled the urge to shout at both of them. “I’m not playing this stupid game.”

  Cooper cast a glare at Chase, then flipped the pages of the binder backward. When he spoke, his voice was softer, no longer laced with sarcasm. “These are a good choice for June, Brynncess. They’ll be in season, so they’ll cost less. It might be more color than you were looking for, but I think they’d look really nice.”

  I looked at the arrangements he was pointing to. They had a mix of roses with purple hydrangea and white calla
lilies. “They’re beautiful.”

  “He’s right,” Mona said. “These are lovely and very easy to get this time of year.”

  “My work here is done,” Cooper said. He yanked on my ponytail as he walked past me, heading for the door. “Coopster is out.”

  “If you want to go with this, I can show you what the rest of the flowers will look like,” Mona said. “We can make the bridesmaid bouquets and everything else match.”

  I glanced up at Chase. “What do you think?”

  “They look great to me. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

  Mona took us through the rest of the flower choices. She really did know her stuff, and she was conscious of our budget, which I appreciated. I made a mental note to thank Zoe—for the hundredth time—for pointing me in the right direction.

  After we finished, Chase led me outside with his hand on the small of my back. His phone dinged and he pulled it out. Looking at the screen, he groaned.

  “Is something wrong?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Honestly? This girl I was dating last year keeps texting me.”

  That raised my hackles. I didn’t want to be jealous of some past girlfriend. It was easier to not think about the girls Chase had been with before me. And I didn’t worry that he would ever be unfaithful. I trusted him. But hearing that a girl was texting him did not sit well with me.

  “That’s not cool.”

  “No, it’s not,” he said. “I don’t know why she’s doing it. I haven’t seen her in months. Not since… well, not since before you. And I quit replying to her texts before that, but she keeps coming up with crazy bullshit to suck me back in.”

  “Maybe you should block her number?” And delete her contact information. And block her on every social media channel you use. And maybe see if we can get her to move out of state or something.

  “I think you’re right,” he said. “This shit she’s trying to pull? Just, no. It’s time.”

  He tapped a few things on his screen, then pocketed his phone. “There. That’s finished. I feel better already.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed my head. “Hungry?”

  “Yeah, I am.”

  “Cool. Let me buy you dinner. I suggest Ray’s because I think they’re the only place in town that will let me in like this. If you want something nicer, I need a shower and clean clothes first.”

  I popped up on my tiptoes to kiss his mouth. “I love Ray’s. Maybe we should ask for the back booth.”

  He nibbled on my bottom lip. “I like the way you think.”

  Twenty-Five

  Chase

  It was weird having Brynn in my apartment—reminded me of the day Cooper had caught us on the couch. Plus, we never hung out here. If we weren’t going out, we always spent time at Brynn’s place. I slept there more often than not. But I was home doing laundry and taking care of a few things. She’d been in class all day and was helping with an event over at the winery tonight, so she’d stopped by in between.

  “I’m so ready for this semester to be over,” she said, putting her backpack down. She looked tired.

  “You sure you’re doing okay?”

  “Yeah. There’s just so much going on.”

  I pulled her close and kissed her. We were both feeling the pressure of everything. Work. Her classes. The wedding. “I know, it’s a lot. Are you sure you have to work tonight?”

  She took a deep breath. “Yes. They really need me.”

  I touched her face and kissed her forehead. “Fair enough. Are you hungry?”

  “A little.”

  “I’ll see if we have anything.”

  I went into the kitchen and poked around, but there wasn’t much food. Cooper had some leftovers in the fridge, but I wasn’t about to offer her his half-eaten dinner. I found a bag of chips in the cupboard and grabbed them. Better than nothing.

  When I came out of the kitchen, I didn’t see Brynn. “Hey, where’d you go?”

  Her voice came from my bedroom. “In here.”

  She was standing in my room, looking around. “Sorry. I just realized I’ve never really been in here.”

  “Yeah, it’s… a bedroom, I guess.”

  It was pretty fucking empty, actually. I hadn’t changed anything. There had never been a lot of stuff in here to begin with. It looked like a single guy’s room. My bed was just a mattress on the floor. I had a dresser, and a shelf with a few things sitting out. Clothes in the closet. Cheap blinds on the window, nothing on the walls. It was kind of sad, when I thought about it.

  Brynn sat on the edge of the bed. “I always wondered what it would be like to crawl into your bed.”

  “You’ve been in bed with me lots of times.”

  She plucked at the sheets. “We’ve been in my bed. Yours seems different.”

  “Yeah, I guess it does.”

  “Can I tell you a secret?”

  I grinned. “Only if it’s dirty.”

  “Stop,” she said with a laugh. “Once when we were younger, I overheard you talking to Cooper about sneaking a girl into your room, and I got so jealous. I took it out on Cooper. I was mean to him for like a week and he had no idea why. I still feel a little bad about that.”

  The last thing I wanted to talk about with Brynn was me sneaking other girls into my room. Or other girls in general. And there was something about Brynn being in this room that felt off. It wasn’t about Cooper. I had no idea when he was coming home today, but I was past caring if he saw us together. Part of me wanted to drag her into his bedroom, fuck her on his bed, and leave him a note saying I’d done it.

  But this room was the past—a relic of the old me. That guy had brought a lot of random girls here. Brynn was not some random girl. She was the love of my life. So even though she was nibbling her bottom lip and had a let’s be naughty look in her eyes, I knew I wasn’t fucking her on this bed. Ever.

  “I shouldn’t mess with you,” she said. “I have to go to work, so I don’t have time to play.”

  “That’s okay.”

  She stood and ran her hands up my chest. “Do you want to come over tonight? I have to work late, but I like it better when you’re there. Even if we’re just sleeping.”

  I kissed the tip of her nose. “Yeah, I’d love to come over. But we won’t just be sleeping.”

  “Good.” She lifted up on her toes for another kiss. “I have to go. I’ll see you after work.”

  “Do you want these?” I lifted the bag of chips.

  “That’s okay. I can eat over there. Thanks, though.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  I walked her out and after she left, I went back to my bedroom. I stood in the doorway for a few minutes, staring at my bed.

  Cooper and I had made a bonfire out of his mom’s mattress after she’d kicked her husband out. We’d done it as a joke at first. But it had turned out to be a cathartic experience for the Miles family. Even I had felt good about watching that mattress go up in flames.

  Then we’d done it to Zoe’s bed. That had been Roland’s idea, although Cooper and I had egged him on about it. It had been symbolic. A sign that Roland and Zoe’s lives apart—and the potential for sleeping with other people—were in the past.

  I was at a similar crossroads. I’d left my past behind without any doubts. Brynn was my future. I’d proposed, given her a ring, and in a month, I’d marry her. But I felt like my transformation wouldn’t be complete until the mattress burned.

  Pulling the comforter and sheets off, I left them in a heap on the floor. The mattress was more awkward than heavy. I tipped it up and slid it over to the door. I could drag it downstairs myself and hoist it into the back of my truck. Then take it out to one of the unused fields on Salishan land to burn it. A lot of their property was used as vineyards, and they had a big pear orchard that they leased out to another farm. But there were acres and acres of empty land—forest, mountainside, even open fields. Cooper and I had spent most of our childhoods out there, so I kne
w it well.

  I got the mattress halfway out of my bedroom and had to make a tight turn into the living room.

  “What the fuck?”

  I hadn’t heard Cooper come in. I looked around the edge of the mattress to find him standing just inside the door, his hands on his hips.

  “Are you fucking moving out?” he asked.

  “No, but I don’t know why you care.”

  “Because you live here, or you used to. I’d like to know what the hell is going on. Jesus, Chase, keep a guy in the loop.”

  I leaned the mattress against the wall so I could let go. “Are you fucking kidding me? This is the most you’ve spoken to me in months. I sleep here once every week or so. You’re telling me you’d be surprised if I packed my shit and left?”

  “If you’re not moving out, what the fuck are you doing with your bed?”

  “Burning it.”

  He stared at me for a second, mouth half-open, eyes intense. “What?”

  “I’m burning my mattress.”

  “Why?”

  “Is that a serious question?”

  Cooper just kept staring at me. I had no idea what he was thinking. Which was weird, because normally the time between Cooper having a thought and saying the thought was too small to be measurable.

  I was so sick of this shit. “You know what? At this point, you can go fuck yourself. I’m sorry it was her. I’m sorry your sister and I fell in love, but we did.”

  He still didn’t say anything.

  I didn’t really intend to keep talking, but once I started, I couldn’t seem to stop. “I don’t think you understand what that means to a guy like me. Everybody fucking loves you. Have you ever felt alone, even once in your life? I know your dad is an asshole, but the rest of your family is great. And they love the shit out of you, even when you’re being a fucking nutjob. You know that as long as they’re around, you’ll never really be alone.

  “I never had that, Coop. I spent my whole life knowing my parents didn’t really want me. Do you know what that does to a guy? That fucked me up. But now I have someone who wants me—who chose me. I’d do anything for her. And the craziest part? She’d do anything for me. Jesus, Cooper, that’s fucking insane. When you find that, you can’t let it go.”