Oceanside

by Michelle Mankin

  “Where were you all day?”

  “Why do you want to know? Did you miss me?”

  I nodded. The truth was obvious. Why lie?

  “I went into the office for a couple of hours.” He smiled. “I had some things that couldn’t wait. We’re working on your situation of course. Then I did a quick power workout at the gym.”

  “Why quick?”

  “Two reasons. First, Linc had a limited window to hang with you and Hollie here. Secondly, I missed you, too.”

  It was my turn to smile. “Do you really think this chaperone business is necessary? I think it’s pretty unlikely Samuel will discover us here. And even if he did, it’s even less likely that he could get past all of your security measures.” I didn’t mention that he might pay somebody else to do those things, someone who might have the skills necessary to thwart those defenses.

  “It’s still too big a risk. I have a good memory, Fanny. I remember how he hurt you at the Oscars. He is every bit the powerful and resourceful man you think he is. I get that now. I’m not taking any chances.”

  “You could just sling her over your shoulder and carry her around with you every place you go.” Hollie grinned. “It might make things easier.”

  “Very funny. Not.” I swung my gaze to her and gave her the death stare.

  “What?” Ash glanced back and forth between me and my oh-so-not-funny sibling.

  “Hollie’s trying to branch out into standup comedy. She thinks it’s somehow amusing that you’ve carried me around a couple times like a caveman.”

  “Three.”

  “What?” I queried, not understanding.

  “I’ve had you in my arms three times now.” His grin curved a groove into his cheek on the one side. Swoony sexy. “Amusing would not be the word I would use to describe the experience.”

  “What would?”

  “Unforgettable.”

  “Oh.”

  “Or Oh. M. G. That works, too.” He leaned closer to me and tapped my rounded lips. I drew in a sharp breath as he proceeded to trace the circle of my mouth with his thumb.

  “I must say your sister’s suggestion has merit.” His voice had dropped an octave lower. “I’ll give it some consideration and let you know. In the meantime, I’m supposed to inform you that Simone and Karen are on their way over. They’re bringing you both some additional things to sort through for the party tonight. Half a surf shop worth of clothes in those bags from Offshore apparently isn’t enough.”

  “That sounds great.” I was feeling a little dazed. Not off kilter enough to be swooped, more’s the pity. But him touching my mouth had definitely zinged other areas of my anatomy. Watching him as he glided toward the doorframe intensified the zing. Massive shoulders, arms corded with muscle, narrow waist, tight ass and long powerful strides. He had it all going on and all he had going on had me going. “Where are you off to now?” I asked, my question sounding more like ‘please don’t go’. He stopped to look back at me. His eyes glittered with definite amusement as if he knew my thoughts. As if he sensed the plea in my innocent question.

  “I’ve got to set up the grill. But when you’re done with the girl stuff, you’re welcome to come keep me company. I wouldn’t want you to suffer overly from separation anxiety.”

  Yeah, he’d read me just that way.

  ~ ~ ~

  Ashland

  “Spit it out, Linc. I can practically hear the gears in your head turning.”

  “What the hell’s going on with you and this girl?”

  “And there it is.”

  “Huh.”

  “Nothing’s going in with her. She’s in trouble. We’re helping her. Once we solve her problem, she’ll go back to her life. A better one.” Better for her had been my hope the first time. Maybe this time it would be.

  Linc moved closer and put a fresh Longfin lager beside the plate of filets I was seasoning with salt and pepper.

  “Thanks,” I told him, lifting the bottle his way and chugging a long swig.

  “You’re welcome. But dude, you really expect me to believe that’s all this is?”

  I sighed. “I guess not.”

  “Ok then.” He shook his head. “Let the steaks rest.” He motioned to the glass half wall that faced the ocean. “Let’s talk truth for a minute.” We strolled over together, each with a lager in our hand. His hair hung loose, the breeze tossing it around his face as he leaned his elbows on the wall. I liked it longer, but the layered cut was flattering. Simone’s choice. I had weighed in with my opinion, but not with a heavy hand. If you loved someone you didn’t push or manipulate them even in small things. I’d learned that lesson in the biggest way of all with him. I was now getting a refresher course with Fanny.

  “Fuck.” I squeezed my eyes shut as the realization of that telling thought rose with startling clarity inside of me. All in or all out when it came to my heart or so my mother always said about me. She was right. I didn’t really do middle ground. When I reopened my eyes, the outdoor lights were swaying overhead and Linc was studying me closely.

  “What just happened right there? Your expression says major reality check.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Ash, c’mon. No stonewalling. Level with me.” He put a hand on my shoulder. In the past, in the not so distant past before I had finally acknowledged that it would always be Simone for him, I would’ve felt that touch in a way that would’ve stirred much more than brotherly affection in me. But tonight, all it conveyed was warm regard and mutual respect.

  “Fanny and I have met before.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “At the Oscars. When we were nominated for best original song.”

  “Oh, yeah! ‘Tomorrow Today’. Fanny Bay Lesowski. Redhead. Silver dress. Stunning curves.” I didn’t know how I felt about him remembering those particular details, but I nodded. “She won, didn’t she?”

  “She did.”

  “I don’t remember that night very well.” He grimaced. “That was before we did rehab.”

  “Right before my diagnosis. Days before, in fact.”

  “That’s right.”

  “We talked briefly. She charmed me completely with her fiery personality and all the rest of those details you noted. She made a definite impression. But then…”

  “What happened?”

  “What didn’t? I totaled my car. I went completely into a shell. I wallowed in self-pity.”

  “Yeah, you did do some of that.”

  “Until you kicked my ass and told me to move on.”

  “You’ve given my ass a kick a time or two when I needed it.”

  I grinned. “All in love, brother.”

  He motioned back and forth between us with his beer. “The same reason I’m getting all up in your business right now. Anyone can see you have feelings for this chick. She makes you happy. That’s obvious. Simone was going on and on chittering about it all day after she saw you with her the other morning. So why the resistance about the party?”

  “I’m worried about her. She passed out in my lap yesterday, Linc.”

  “Yeah, I noticed that. Better work on your technique, bro.”

  I punched him. He grinned. “So what’s your next move?”

  I sobered.” I’m going to tell her the truth.”

  “Of course. I thought maybe she already knew.”

  “No.” I had run from the truth once. Fate had given me a second chance. This time I was going to get it right. Tell her everything. Explain. Maybe it wasn’t unpardonable what I had done. What I hadn’t said. Maybe she could forgive me.

  Chapter Twenty

  Fanny

  “She looks fantastic.” Simone’s golden eyes sparkled with approval. “Great job, Karen.”

  “Karen’s a genius,” I said, giving the blonde an affirming nod. Linc’s fiancée and I on the other hand were warming to each other more slowly. Translation. She was great. But I was struggling to get over the fact that she held Ash’s heart, and the impossib
le to believe fact that she didn’t want it. “All the outfits she picked out for Hollie and me are brilliant.”

  “She used to work at Roxy. She does all the buying for the shop. She mixes accessories and different clothing lines together in ways that I see trending in fashion magazines months later.” The pretty brunette smiled at me. “You look good, Fanny. Stop fidgeting with the lapels.”

  “If they spread any wider my boobs are gonna poke out of the jacket. I feel ridiculous without a blouse on underneath.”

  “You don’t look ridiculous,” Hollie disagreed. My sister was dressed more conservatively in a long sleeve pastel blue shirt and dark skinny jeans. Karen knew her size now, and both pieces fit her well. “Pinstriped charcoal blazer with solid black shorts is a killer combo, Fanny.”

  “Can I at least wear my beanie?” I asked.

  “No!” Everyone shouted in unison.

  “Ok. Alright. Geez.” I set down my half-full glass of red wine and tried to focus on the camaraderie and not on my reflection in the dresser mirror.

  “You look beautiful, like Emma Stone in La La Land only your eyes are even more striking than hers,” my sister commented encouragingly while refilling Karen’s empty goblet with more sparkling grape juice. The two clinked their non-alcoholic beverages together. I turned away and started to gather the scattered piles of clothes, jewelry and lingerie strewn all over the bed, but Simone stopped me.

  “We’ll get it later.” She glanced at her phone again. It had been blooping nearly nonstop, text messages that made her face light up as brightly as her screen.

  “Linc again?”

  “Yes.”

  “He texts a lot for a guy.” Paragraphs with punctuation. She kept her phone in her hand the entire time she’d been here, and she had shown a few good ones to us.

  “Yeah. He’s making up for the time we lost while we were apart.”

  “You love him a lot. I can see it in your expression. Your eyes get all soft when you read the messages.”

  “He was my first real love. My first real anything. Then life dealt us a shitty hand, and we lost ourselves and lost track of the things that really mattered. If it weren’t for Ash helping Linc get his life back together, helping us get back together again…” She trailed off, but the implication was clear that she and Linc might never have happened.

  “I can see Ash doing everything he possibly could. He cares about you a lot,” I stated carefully. Not knowing if he had declared himself to her, I thought it wise to measure my words.

  “We’re good friends. We share a common bond. We both love Linc. Ash would turn the world upside down for him. But I’m curious.” She cocked her head at an inquiring angle. “What’s with you and Ash?” She threw her arm to the side. “I mean, your things are all here in his room, and I know he’s helping you out, but is there more? Are you two…”

  “Sleeping together? No.” I shook my head. “It’s just me and Hollie in here. Not that I wouldn’t want to, um, go there with him.” I could tell that Hollie and Karen were honing in on the conversation. I thought it best to stick to the truth both because my infatuation was obvious and for the good of the sisterhood. Plus, though Simone might not be an active rival, she was the competition in Ash’s heart and should know upfront that I was an interested party. “He…I… well we met before at the Oscars. I went total fangirl and made a complete fool of myself. Maybe if I had played it more cool.” I shook myself clear of that delusion. “But it doesn’t really matter. He doesn’t see me that way. And anyway I have a boyfriend, or I did before all this mess happened.”

  “Whoa. Hold up a minute. Let’s go back a few sentences.” Karen’s blond brows nearly disappeared in the fringe of her bangs. “Do you not notice the way he looks at you?”

  “Like he feels sorry for me? Yeah, I see that sure.” I blinked rapidly as my eyes started to stupidly burn. I didn’t want to mess up the smoky liner Simone had skillfully applied.

  “Uh, news flash,” Simone chimed in. “I’ve known Ash since we were in high school, and I’ve never seen him look at any girl the way he looks at you.”

  “His eyeballs practically came out of their sockets when he saw you naked, Fanny.” My sister volleyed in that bit of jaw dropping information.

  “He saw her naked?” Simone stepped closer. “How? When?”

  “I slipped coming out of the shower.”

  “He broke down the door when she cried out. I was here in the bedroom, but he still beat me to her.”

  “I wondered what happened there.” Simone’s eyes went to the door that was propped up against the wall then back to me.

  “Damn,” Karen decided. “Those are not the actions of a disinterested man.”

  “Have you seen him touch her? He’s so focused, like she’s fragile and precious, and he can’t believe his good fortune that she allows him the privilege to caress her.” Simone fanned her face with her hand. “It’s sexy as all hell.”

  “Yeah appreciation and tenderness are the best kind of foreplay.” Karen’s mouth curved, and a dimple peeked out. “Lucky me. Ramon is a master at those skills.”

  “Stop it, all of you.” My hands fluttered in front of me and the long silver necklace with tasseled metal ends swished against my skin. “Please. I’m happy for you, Karen. Ramon sounds great. But no more about Ash. I have a crush on the guy. One I’ve had since he was just a one-dimensional dream taped to my bedroom wall. Now he’s a living, breathing, temptation strutting around the penthouse with all that devastating hotness 24-7.” Karen and Simone nodded at each other as if my words were confirmation of something. “You guys need to help me get over my crush not foster it. Ash isn’t leading me on. He made it clear that we’re just friends.”

  “Friends can grow to be more.” Karen captured my hands. “But I’ll leave you alone about it. I understand the way you feel right now. Totally I do.” Her light sandy brown eyes brimmed with empathy as they searched mine. “One day when you have some time I’ll tell you all about Ramon and me and how we got where we are today. But for now, I just want you to know. Simone and I just want you both to know,” she stretched one of her arms wide offering her free hand for Hollie to take, “how happy we are to have you in our circle. Whatever the reason, Fanny,” she refocused on me, “you’ve gotten Ash, a confirmed recluse, out of his solitary confinement. And for that miracle, even if Simone and I didn’t already like you, which we do, we will be forever grateful.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Ashland

  “City of stars…”

  The guys and I glanced toward the stairs as the singing continued.

  “Is that who I think it is?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” Ramon nodded. “The girls are doing some kind of Pitch Perfect thing to the theme song from La La Land. And my surfer girl’s taking the lead apparently.” He cringed as Karen hit another off-key note.

  “At least it’s a joyful noise,” I assessed generously.

  “That’s one way of looking at it.” Ramon moved to intercept his woman as she emerged, and Linc slipped in front of me to snag his as well. When the couples stepped aside, I saw Fanny. My first glimpse in hours, and it was telling how long and empty those hours had felt.

  Pretty?

  Yeah, Fanny was always that. The tomorrow today girl exuded beauty. And though adversity might have dimmed the spellbinding fire within her what remained continued to outshine them all.

  I stalked closer. Surrounded by my friends, she wasn’t in any danger. Yet my first instinct was protect, and my second was to take her somewhere private where only my eyes could gaze at her looking like that.

  “Hey, little rose.” She stiffened for a moment before she turned my way as if the memory associated with that endearment had sharp thorns.

  “Ash,” she acknowledged. Her breathy voice spilling from those glossed up ruby lips kindled my imagination. And when her eyes hit mine, she sparked the rest. The bigger fire. The heat of it nearly knocked me backward.

  Her body was
a sexy lure, no doubt. But the source of who she was, her soul, the irresistible part to me, could be seen in her gaze. And for a brief moment she poured it all out, her goodness, pure and unadulterated. And it confirmed what I had already realized with Linc earlier. Fanny could do it. She could make me forget him. Fill the empty spaces. Light up the darkness in my own soul with her flame. Burn away the marks on my psyche if I dared to expose them to her. That irrepressible hope of hers was the pretty red ribbon that tied all that she was together like a gift. A priceless gift. One that I had to refuse because of what she didn’t know about me. But damn it, how could I with her looking so fucking gorgeous? The conflict rippling through the center of me rumbled out of my voice.

  “Don’t you think you should go back downstairs and put some fuckin’ clothes on, darlin’?”

  Someone muttered something.

  Someone else cursed me under their breath.

  But I only registered her.

  Her gasp. The immediate flash of wet in her eyes. The hurt that snuffed out her flame before she whirled around and ran to the stairs.

  Way to go, asshole. You can’t have what you want, so you lash out like a spoiled child.

  I started after her to apologize, wincing with each step, as if the ground were littered with sharp shards, broken pieces of expectations, hers and mine.

  “Ash.” Linc grabbed my arm. “What the fuck?” I glanced at his fingers on my skin and lifted my gaze.

  “Let go, Linc,” I growled. “Stay out of it. This has nothing to do with you.” He released me and took a step back, his eyes wide. Later I would reexamine the validity of that last part and how it revealed how utterly Fanny Bay had altered the course I had plotted for my life.

  But at the moment I just needed to get to her.

  ~ ~ ~

  Fanny

  I ripped off the velvet jacket. Threw it on the ground stumbling over the bags of clothes in my haste to find something to throw on. I knew it. I had absolutely known not to go up to see him all made up like that. I had practically thrown myself at him. With predictable results.