Oceanside

by Michelle Mankin

  She smiled slowly.

  “What’s amusing about me being clueless?”

  “You’re Mr. Control, Ash. And you’re trying to tell me…what? That with you and me, you want to wing it? To just see what happens? To continue to be the friends we are, but to open the door to more?”

  I exhaled shakily. “Yeah.” It scared the shit out of me. A lot of things could go really fucking wrong without a clearly defined plan. “That’s exactly what I’d like to do.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Fanny

  “Well it’s been an interesting start to the party,” Linc said from his spot in the living room, the others standing loosely gathered around him when Ash and I returned. Ash’s cousin had been the first one to notice our conspicuously intertwined fingers. Apparently friends trying for more held hands, I had discovered that on the walk in from the pier. It totally worked for me. “But Ash, just to say,” Linc said as he came closer, his warm expression hinting that he approved. “I’m pretty hungry. I’m hoping maybe you think the steaks have rested enough by now?”

  “Yeah, dude.” Ash flashed his signature grin. “Let’s fire the grill up.” He dipped his head to me and hit me with his smile, the big one that creased his cheek and crinkled fine lines along the edges of his eyes. Directed solely on me that grin made my legs wobbly. “I’ll see you up there, little rose.” Eyes shimmering warmly, I felt that warmth keenly when he squeezed my hand, then let it go to join his cousin. Leaving the entryway behind, they ducked into the stairwell side by side. I noticed the others staring at me slack jawed as Hollie crossed to me.

  “It went well, huh?” she asked while linking her arm to mine.

  “Better.” I leaned into her so she could steady me, my head swiveling to follow him.

  “Then let’s keep the better going.” She steered us in the direction Ash had taken, which was where the better had gone. “But we are so talking in depth about this later,” she told me as we placed our feet on the first stair.

  “Count on it,” I replied with my gaze on Ash. He was a few steps further up ahead. And yes his sexy ass in all of his designer finery was an ah-mazing sight to see. So amazing I barely registered the hushed whispers and persistent footfalls as the rest of the partygoers pursued us.

  A completely different vibe descended as we ascended. It no longer felt like a test to see if I fit in with his friends anymore. It felt like I’d already passed the initiation and gone straight to welcomed member. I think Ash holding my hand and smiling the way he had at me had something to do with it. I also thought the hand holding thing said we were skidding right past friends and straight into the more. I didn’t mind. I only hoped the signals he was sending were the ones he wanted me to receive.

  At the top, the guys headed straight for the grill on the other side of the roof. The girls and I went to the larger seating area with the sectional nestled into a nearby corner. Simone and Karen scooted past the concrete coffee table and took a seat side by side in the middle of the L shaped portion. I started to sit on the shorter side. It had an unimpeded sight line to Ash who still had his gaze on me as mine was unabashedly fixed on him. Karen busted up our unspoken exchange when she called out to me. “Fanny, come sit down.” She patted the empty cushion beside her. “You’re part of the posse now. And you’re withholding important details we all wanna know.”

  “That’s a violation of the sisterhood code.” Simone grinned, and her golden eyes sparkled reflecting the swaying overhead light.

  “I want to know, too, but I’ll just sit here.” Hollie settled into my intended seat.

  “We’ll make sure she speaks loud enough that you can hear. But keep an eye on the guys,” Karen hooked a thumb their direction. “This little convo is for our ears only.”

  “You got it.” Hollie gave Karen a wave-snap, swiveled and wiggled her fingers at the guys. Ash was at the grill shaking salt over a platter of prime steaks. Linc was beside him saying something that I couldn’t hear over the waves and the wind. Ramon had the door of the undercounter fridge open, light spilling out of it on his flip-flopped feet. Ash seemed to sense my perusal. He turned his gaze to me, and I was his captive. Big surprise there. Several strands of platinum had escaped the tie at his nape. The breeze tossed them around his handsome face. He wouldn’t like the disarray but to me it only added to his appeal. So did the fact that he was watching me so closely. Even among his friends I knew he wanted to be sure I was ok.

  I smiled to let him know I was better than good, and he returned his attention to preparing the food.

  “Eyes back here, Fanny.” Karen prompted, and I shifted my gaze to regard her. “Don’t get me wrong. I understand the allure totally. I toured with the guys. Ash has no problem turning on the charm when he wants, too. He’s a good-looking guy, and he has that commanding aura about him. But he’s not going anywhere anytime soon. Not with you over here. So we need to take advantage while he’s occupied, and we have a lookout to speak freely. So spill.”

  “You guys were right.” I gave kudos to the sisterhood first. “You called it earlier. We are friends, but he wants to see if we can be more. I want that, too.” I had always wanted that. “So we agreed to try, and tonight is our first night taking that chance.”

  “Wow.” Karen said. “Succinct. To the point. I like it. Surprising from Ash on many levels considering.”

  I didn’t know exactly what that meant but I shared some more so maybe it wouldn’t be so surprising, and so she could get a better idea where Ash and I were. “We weren’t upfront when we first met. I wasn’t sure he was interested in me as more than a friend. This time I am, and that feels better even considering his diagnosis.”

  “He told you his status?” Simone inquired, incredulousness lifting her tone and her brows.

  “Yes,” I nodded. “I’m glad he told me.” He’d let down his guard, now we could work it out together.

  “Not wow. Whoa!” She glanced over at Ash then back at me. “That’s not something he usually shares. No one but us, his parents, Renee and the Rock Fuck Club girl knows, and she had to sign a non-disclosure agreement before he agreed to do that episode with her.”

  “Um, what? Hold on. Back up a bit.” Now my tone had shot up an octave. “Ash was on WMO’s Rock Fuck Club?”

  “Yeah,” Simone confirmed, her gaze searching mine. “He and Renee. You didn’t know?”

  “Uh-uh. I mean, I’ve heard of the show. Who hasn’t? It’s a pretty big deal. But I haven’t had a chance to stream the first season. I’ve been a little busy.”

  “Fanny started her own business this year.” Hollie leaned forward closer to the collective. “And she and Tristan Murphy started dating.”

  “What kind of business?” Karen asked.

  “Tristan Murphy? The country singer?” Simone asked, her questions tripping over Karen’s.

  “Fanny Bay Fragrances. And yes, that Tristan Murphy,” I confirmed.

  “Holy shit!” Karen exclaimed. “I love that line. It’s all California based fragrances and essential oils so it’s holistic.” The surf shop owner slapped the side of her head. “Duh, I stuffed the sacks I brought over with oodles of their sample sizes. Yet, I didn’t make the connection.”

  “The company logo is small.”

  “It is. But from one business owner to another I gotta tell you the turquoise bay, the orange sunset with the white lettering on the packaging is brilliant. Not to mention the high quality of the products themselves. I predict the whole line is going to be a big hit. All it’ll take is one nationwide chain to pick it up.”

  “Thanks,” I replied, smiling when she paused to take a breath. “I’d be happy with just one California chain ordering stuff regularly. But I’m almost breaking even, and more importantly I’m doing something I love.”

  “You could get more exposure if you tied in your music somehow,” Karen pointed out. Something Tristan had encouraged me to do as well.

  “I’m not doing music anymore.”

 
“But the song you played on Ramon’s guitar.”

  “That was just me fooling around on a super sweet instrument.” I sighed. I missed my Martin. My Claddagh ring. My little cottage in San Bernardino.

  “You won an Oscar for best song! Beat the Dogs I should remind you. And anyway, the just messing around excuse is what Ramon used when he wanted Ash to produce his solo stuff.” She shook her head. “I might not know a whole lot, Fanny, but the guys tell me I’ve got a good ear. And what I heard the other day wasn’t fooling around. It was phenomenal.”

  “Speaking of fooling around,” Simone interjected. “Tristan Murphy? He’s a hottie. Those chocolate brown eyes and that sweet baritone of his.” Simone fanned her face. “I’m not a country girl usually, but I bought his latest album, the one with all those sexy love songs. I also got two tickets for Linc and me to see him at the Casbah when he comes through next month.”

  “You’re lucky you got tickets. His tour sold out as soon as the sales went online.”

  “But,” Karen touched my arm, “You and Tristan. You’re not serious, are you?”

  A shadow suddenly fell over me. I looked up.

  “Ash.” My hands fluttered.

  “Hollie!” Karen complained, shooting her a look.

  “Sorry, posse leader. I blew my lookout duty.”

  “The steaks are done,” Ash announced to the group in general. He was no longer smiling. “Ramon and Linc went downstairs to get the sides from the bigger fridge. But they could probably use some help bringing everything up.”

  “That’s our cue girls,” Karen declared. “In guy talk, it means, ‘get gone so I can talk to Fanny’.”

  “Yeah, I get it. Subtle, Ash.” Simone rolled her eyes at the Dirt Dogs’ drummer. “Good luck,” she said to me touching my shoulder.

  “We’re all here for you,” Karen said, beckoning my sister to come along with a rolling motion of her hand.

  “Apparently we are all going to be here for you long distance.” Hollie gave me a grimaced eek look as she passed between Ash and me then hurried after everyone else toward the stairs.

  Guys gone. The sisterhood scattered. No one left but me and Ash. Irate Ash. I swallowed.

  “So,” he growled. “You wanna clue me in on what the hell Karen was talking about?”

  “Sure.” I fidgeted in my seat. All those touches, the handholding tonight, the tenderness, the protectiveness. We weren’t just skidding past friends. It felt like we were flying past it. Had I been missing the clues all along? Were we already going to talk about the significant others in our lives? If so he wasn’t the clueless one, I was. “But I’m not sure, um, which part you overheard.”

  “I heard pretty much everything after the ‘holy shit’.”

  “Ah.”

  “Congrats on the perfume. You did what you set out to do. I’m proud of you.”

  “It’s just in its infancy. And it’s not that big of an accomplishment. I didn’t even have to go to the SBA with a business plan to apply for a loan. Some anonymous fan paid a ridiculous amount to buy an old car of mine.”

  “A 1946 Pontiac Deluxe Woodie Wagon is not just an old car, Fanny.”

  “How did you know the exact year, make and model?” I cocked my head to the side having a funny feeling as he came and took a seat beside me.

  “Having the funding upfront doesn’t diminish the accomplishment.” He placed his hand on my knee. Warmth and a feeling of a different sort settled inside of me.

  “It was you. Holy shit. I don’t know what to say.” But my mind reeled, and I remembered what he had said earlier about trying to get over me, and it not sticking. Apparently he had done more than try. He had set me up to pursue my dream after nothing more than a single encounter. Indisputable confirmation of the type of guy he was, and proof that I had made as big an impression on him as he had made on me that night.

  “There’s nothing you need to say. I’ve got a really cool car to drive around in, and you’ve got your own business. I’m satisfied with my purchase. I hope you feel the same way about your end of the transaction.”

  “Right now, this moment, I think I did better than good.” I peered up at him. “‘A kind heart he hath; a woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart.’ Thank you, Ash. That was an incredibly beautiful thing to do.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Ashland

  “You’re welcome, little one.” I inhaled and exhaled like I had seen her do to center herself. It helped some, but looking into her approving eyes worked better for me than any yoga breathing technique.

  Don’t blow it with her, my cousin had warned.

  I didn’t think he had realized at the time just how soon his words would come into play.

  Not blowing it meant getting a handle on the jealousy that had crested like a rogue wave inside of me the moment I overheard Fanny mention the fact she had a boyfriend.

  It meant realizing that I had her right now looking at me as if she believed in me.

  Not him.

  It also meant giving her more reasons to believe her faith was well placed.

  “Would you mind helping me set the table?” I asked.

  “Sure.” So sweet. So eager to please. I set the issue of the boyfriend to the side. Not dismissed, no fucking way, but on the agenda of things to be addressed at a later time.

  “Great.” I stood offering my hand to her. She placed hers in mine without hesitation. Proof of her faith. Liking that as much as the way she was regarding me, I drew her up and directly toward me.

  “Whoa,” she said, rocking unsteadily. Maybe I had reeled her in a little overzealously. Her hands automatically came toward my chest for balance, but I captured them before they got there, enfolding them in my own. “Ash,” she breathed, peering up at me through her lashes. Ok, maybe this look I liked even better than the other.

  “Fanny,” I returned, my tone nearly as urgent. She felt so good in my arms. Our gazes locked together. Her face tipped up to mine. Her compelling warmth. My thighs brushing hers. Our upper bodies separated only by the width of our joined hands.

  “So.” Her pink tongue slipped out. She swiped it across her lush lips. They glistened temptingly. Her lids fluttered closed. I swallowed, wanting nothing more than to lower my head and press my lips to hers…to feel, to explore, to learn their texture and shape. Kissing her would be a plunge into pleasure. But not yet. It was too much, too soon. Given her innocence and my unspoken issues, I had to take this slow.

  “The others will be back soon,” I reminded her, and her eyes snapped open, their dark grey clouded with disappointment. “So we better get that table set.” My voice rasping along the fine edge of my restraint, my grip tightened betraying my tension.

  “I’ll show you where the dishes and cutlery are.” Relaxing my hold on her hands, I took a controlled step back and released her.

  “Oh. Ok. Sure. Lead the way.”

  I turned to do just that as voices began to drift out of the stairwell. The sound of many footfalls soon eclipsed the softer ones directly behind me.

  “Here they are.” I pressed the cabinet door to open it.

  “I can get it from here.” Fanny said, slipping into the spot I vacated and offering me a soft nod of efficacy.

  “Great.” I reached for and squeezed her hand. “Sit by me at the table, yeah?” I held her gaze wishing to say more, but with the others filing up, our moments of privacy had passed.

  “Of course.”

  “Good.” I released her fingers, swiping my thumb across the center of her palm as I did so and watching her close her hand as if to hold onto the warmth of the caress. “I’ll get the steaks.”

  “Yo, Ash.” Linc called, banging his fist on the table. He had already taken a seat. “We gonna eat or what?”

  “We are,” I confirmed.

  “Finally. I gotta tell you the food better be fucking phenomenal because the service at Casa Keys sucks.”

  I shot him the finger.

&nbs
p; “Rude, dude. Totally rude. I’m downgrading my rating of this establishment by a whole point.”

  Ramon chortled as he crossed to me. “Let me help,” he said, taking one of the foil wrapped platters from my arm. “Let us all help,” he added in a lower volume, and I got the wider meaning as I followed where he pointed with his gaze. The girls. They were all gathered around Fanny. Karen had her arm threaded around the newcomer’s waist. The stack of plates Fanny had carried over to the table had been transferred to Simone for distribution. Hollie was setting out the cutlery. Both sisters had obviously been adopted into the clan.

  “Karen had a soft spot for Fanny before she even knew her name. But it’s more than that now. We all feel pretty much the same way.”

  “You talked about this downstairs,” I guessed.

  “Some.” He tilted his head. “Was a big part of the drama with Fanny earlier because you told her your status?

  I nodded.

  “But then you worked it out.”

  “We’re in the process of doing that, yeah.” No way was it a one and done scenario on an issue with so many ramifications.

  “Sure, but it’s a promising start to a relationship.”

  “She and I only agreed to see if something more than friendship is possible,” I explained. “No one mentioned anything about a relationship.” She had a boyfriend. I had my arrangement with Renee to sort out. Not to mention all the other complications up in the air.

  “Whatever terminology you feel comfortable using is fine with me, hermano. All I really wanted to say is relax, alright? Let the real you flow and all.”

  “I dunno.” That sounded an awful lot like winging it. Not my forte.

  “However you want to play it. But you gotta know that if this girl matters to you, she matters to us, too.”

  Something warm and significant expanded inside my chest.