Bargaining With a Rake (A Whisper of Scandal Novel)

by Johnstone, Julie

  She didn’t stop to think. She crushed her mouth to his. His arms tightened around her as he returned her kiss, gently massaging her lips with his own and breathing life back into her with the warmth of his breath. His lips sucked and nipped at her neck until his warm breath hit her ear, unraveling her at the center of her core with a pulsating need to be one with him.

  Her fingers curled into his shoulder. He drew back to look at her, cupping the side of her face with his hand, then sliding his fingers under her chin. “Did you think I wouldn’t come to find you once I heard you had turned Sutherland’s proposal down?”

  She laughed shakily. “I suppose I should have known you’d come looking to seduce me. Go ahead.” She crushed her mouth to his once again. Embracing recklessness. Embracing her desire. Wanting to know his love for one moment. “I no longer care. If I’m to be forced to marry Westonburt, then just once I want to know what it feels like to be with the man I love.”

  * * * * *

  “You love me?” His heart thudded as he pulled back and looked at Gillian.

  “Yes,” she replied, her teeth chattering.

  He pressed her to him and wrapped his arms tight around her. “You’re willing to let me seduce you because you love me?”

  She nodded. “I cannot help you gain your revenge before my marriage. But I promise you he’ll know you had me once I’m wed. I have to protect my sister above all, but I will get you your revenge.”

  “Damn it, Gillian.” He clomped through the mud toward the hunting cabin he saw in the distance.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m getting us out of the rain. I prefer to talk to you without my teeth chattering.”

  “Put me down.” She pushed on his shoulder as he continued to walk. With every step toward the cabin, her resistance grew. “Please, put me down. I can’t go in there. Not there.”

  “Why?” He stopped and met her rounded eyes.

  “My mother,” Gillian moaned. “She died there. Not five feet from that place.”

  “I guess we both need to banish our pasts.” Alex strode up the steps and set her down in front of the door. Gillian did not move.

  Alex rattled the door handle, then stepped back and kicked the door open. It flew back and hit the inner wall with a whack. She scrambled backward, but his arm looped around her back and his fingers splayed to become a barrier. He pushed her sopping hair off her shoulder, and she met his gaze. “Trust me.”

  Hell, he could not believe he was asking her to trust him. Until she had declared she loved him, he had not known what he was going to say. But now, he had no doubt.

  She nodded and followed him inside. Once he closed the door, he turned to face her. “Promise you won’t interrupt me.”

  She nodded.

  He took a deep breath. “I’m not worthy of you.”

  “Alex―”

  “You promised.” He wanted to tell her everything at once.

  She clamped her mouth shut.

  “I’m not worthy of you. But I want you. I love you. And I’m selfish enough not to care that you deserve better than me.”

  “Alex, I―”

  “Gillian, please…”

  “Sorry.” She pressed her lips together.

  “You need to know some things about me.” He started to pace the room. “I slept with my older brother Robert’s fiancée, and that’s what led Robert to kill himself. His death is on my hands. I’ve tried to atone, I vowed to never take a wife since I deprived Robert of the chance of ever having one, but I want you.”

  “You mean you want to seduce me.”

  “No, Gillian.” He crossed the room and cupped her face in his hands. “I want to marry you. If you’ll have me after what I’ve told you, I want you to be my wife. I swear to God I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be better than I’ve been.”

  * * * * *

  She wanted to cry at his declaration and pain. Instead, she ran her hands up the curves of his forearms and over the broad expanse of his muscled chest. “I already knew about your brother. Sally told me everything.”

  “Well, hasn’t the duchess been rather chatty lately.”

  Gillian arched her brow. She didn’t know what he meant by that, nor did she particularly care about Sally at this moment. Gillian slid her hands up his arms until they rounded his shoulders. She grasped the material of his soaking wet coat and tugged until it slid down his arms and dropped with a smack against the floor.

  Her heart thudded in her chest. “What you did was wrong. But what Robert did to you all your life was wrong as well. You made a mistake, but you did not kill your brother.”

  His eyebrows lifted. “I slept with his betrothed.”

  “And he stole many of the women you were involved with. He stole Lady Staunton from you with his title.”

  “She used me.”

  Gillian gritted her teeth. The man was stubborn. She deftly unlaced his shirt and tapped his arms. He raised them above his head, and she swallowed back a wave of lust at the muscled flesh displayed before her. “Either way, your brother knew you were sleeping with her, did he not? He knew you cared for her, did he not?” She reached for the waist of his trousers, but his hands came to hers and held them.

  “No one has ever tried to convince me quite like this.”

  She smiled, her heart pounding. “I want you to accept the truth. Robert was jealous of you. You had everything he wanted. When his title secured him Lady Staunton’s hand in marriage, but not her love, he wanted to punish you.”

  Alex frowned at her for several seconds. “I never thought of it that way.”

  “You wouldn’t. Let me ask you something. Would you not have died for Robert?”

  Alex stared at her, his dark eyes lightening. “Gladly. He was my brother.”

  “There’s your answer. Let go of your guilt. You loved Robert. Despite everything between the two of you, you loved him.”

  He pulled her close and ran his hands up into her hair. Tilting her head back, he placed a light kiss on her lips. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” She kissed him back, relishing the tingle of desire simply kissing him could cause.

  He took her hand and led her to the bed. “There’s something I want to know before we go any further.

  She smiled. She was sure he wanted to know if she would marry him. Of course, she would. She loved him. She could not save her sister from what may come, but maybe Alex could help control the damage if the truth came to light. And he was saving her from Westonburt. She would marry Alex no matter how her father protested.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck. “What do you want to ask me?”

  “What are you running from?”

  His question shocked her, but she took a deep breath and spoke. “My father didn’t kill my mother as most people think.” Just saying the words lifted something heavy and cumbersome off her shoulders.

  “No?” Alex pushed a strand of her wet hair off her forehead. “Then it was truly an accident?”

  “Yes, but my sister caused the accident.” She studied Alex to see if he grimaced or showed any signs of surprise, but he did not appear the least concerned or surprised by her statement.

  She released her hold from around his neck and sat on the bed. “It was my ninth birthday, and Mother was nowhere to be found. After my party, Father sent us to bed and went looking for her. Whit and I followed him to the river because we were afraid Mother was going to leave us, and we were right. Father found her in this cabin with another man.”

  The bed dipped beside her as Alex sat. “Who?”

  God, how many times had she asked that same question? “I don’t know. I couldn’t see the man’s face, and Father refuses to speak of it.”

  “So if your father didn’t push your mother to her death…”

  “Whitney did,” Gillian rushed out, wanting to tell him everything before she turned coward again. “Mother and Father were arguing, and Father was waving a pistol around, and it seem
ed he was going to shoot her.”

  Gillian could see the sliver of moon and her mother with her hair flowing freely around her shoulders. She frowned. She had forgotten that until now. “Whit ran screaming through the dark toward them, and I think she must not have been able to stop. Or maybe she thought to grab Mother and pull her out of the way, but she did neither. She ran straight into her, and Mother simply teetered over the embankment and fell.”

  She paused, nausea washing over her.

  Alex squeezed her hand. “Tell me the rest.”

  She studied his open blue gaze and saw no judgment there. “I ran when I saw her fall. I ran all the way back to the house. I didn’t go to help Whit or Mother. I ran like a coward and sat crying, huddled under my covers until I heard Whit return. And when she did, she wouldn’t speak or tell me anything. Father came hours later and told us Mother was dead. She’d drowned in the river. He showed us her body.”

  Gillian pressed her fingertips to her lips. “Did you know freezing cold water really does make lips turn blue?”

  Alex shook his head. “I didn’t know that.”

  “After we saw her, Whitney became very befuddled, and when she awoke the next day, she did not remember the night before. We had to remind her Mother was dead. It took weeks for her to believe.”

  Gillian rested her head against Alex’s shoulder. “She never remembered. Father and I are the only ones who know the truth. We agreed never to tell her. I was glad not to tell her because I’d failed to protect her, and I blamed him.”

  “Gillian.” Alex wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to his side. He placed a kiss on the top of her head. “You reacted as any child would have.”

  She clutched at him, wanting to hold on to him and the compassion he offered. He did not understand the worst. “I’m supposed to always watch out for Whitney. Mother had told me so.”

  “Gillian, she’s a grown woman now. Maybe Whitney should hear the truth. Does this have something to do with why you wanted to leave England?”

  “Yes.” She swiped at the tears running down her face.

  “Shh.” He reached out and stroked her head. “I’ll never say anything. No one will know. If you want to keep the secret, I’ll keep it with you.”

  She clutched at him, desperate to feel his strength. “It’s not that simple.”

  His hand stilled on her head. “What do you mean?”

  “Someone already knows our secret. They’ve been sending me notes for months, threatening to expose Whitney unless we all stay out of Society.”

  Alex’s finger came under her chin and turned her head until she met his gaze. “So you concocted the idea to enter into a loveless marriage to save your sister?”

  “Yes.” She swallowed, fearful. “Do you hate me?”

  “God, Gillian.” Before she knew what was happening, his mouth had come to hers in a demanding kiss that heated her from head to toe. He pulled back and stared at her. “I don’t hate you. I love you more. I love you more than I knew was possible.”

  Before she could second guess her actions, she stood and unfastened her dress. His eyes devoured her as she bared one shoulder and then the other.

  “God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered as he stood. He slid a finger up and down the hollow of her spine. His arms circled her, and she rested her head against his pounding heart.

  Gillian took his hand and placed it over her bare breast to let him feel the pounding of her heart that matched his. “I love you. I think it started the moment you stepped behind the curtain and invaded my hiding place.”

  A slow smile spread across his face. “Lucky I picked the wrong curtain.”

  “Very,” she murmured as his fingers traced a slow circle around the outer edge of her breast, then settled over the tip, lightly brushing back and forth across her skin. She moaned and he grinned, looking exactly as he had the moment she had first seen him, confident and devastatingly wicked.

  He ran a thumb over her lips, and she captured his hand in hers, excited and afraid for what was coming.

  Alex laid Gillian down and sucked in a breath of appreciation at the picture she presented. Creamy flesh. Dark hair. Slumberous eyes and enticing curves. He came down above her, hovering over her body.

  “You’re shaking,” she whispered, caressing his chest.

  “Like a green lad before his first time.”

  Gillian pushed a hand onto his chest until he rolled over and she rested on top of him. Her soft, warm body pressed against his hard, burning skin. She brushed her lips against his. “Why?”

  “Because I love you.” When tears filled her eyes, he brushed a hand over her cheek to wipe the dampness away. “Here, now. What’s this? My declaration’s not supposed to make you cry.”

  She shook her head before burying it in the crook of his neck. “Tears of happiness,” she whispered into his shoulder, her breath caressing his bare skin.

  He stroked her hair for a moment, relishing holding her. Having her naked body pressed so close made him want to ravish her, but he wanted to do it slowly, learning every curve of her body as he went.

  He slid his hands to her smooth back and ran his fingertips up and down her spine, memorizing every dip. When he kneaded his hands down her back to her bottom, she groaned and ground her pelvis into his. Lust shot through him, and he gripped her hips to stop her movement. “If you move that way, peach, I’m not sure I can control myself.”

  She rose up onto her hands, the tips of her breasts touching his chest, her green eyes blazing with such unmistakable desire it made his heart ache. “I don’t want you to keep your control.”

  “You’re sure?” God, he sincerely hoped she was sure.

  “Do I seem unsure?” She splayed her hands across his chest, her eyes challenging him.

  * * * * *

  She was on her back before she knew what happened. His mouth sucked and retreated at her neck, then her breasts, and farther down until his hands pushed her thighs apart. She tensed for a moment at the unknown, but when his tongue flicked over the most sensitive part of her body, nothing else mattered but getting closer to him.

  Something inside her mounted and coiled. She pushed her pelvis up, clenching the sheets for support. His ministrations came faster and harder. She couldn’t stand this teasing. What she needed was him. She grasped his shoulders and tugged, but he refused to come up. His tongue laved slowly back and forth, and then faster until she thought she would come undone.

  “Please.”

  He came up sweating, panting and tense as a bow. He needed her too. She saw it in his eyes. “Take me.”

  Instantly, he hovered over her and settled between her thighs, his hands braced on either side of her shoulders. He gazed down at her. “I love you.” His soft-spoken words reverberated with intensity in her heart.

  She reached up and traced a finger over the pulsing skin of his chest. “Then make me yours.”

  He lifted her bottom and plunged inside her, then stilled. She clenched her fingers into his shoulders at the momentary twinge of pain, but as they lay locked as one, her body grew accustomed to him. Warm sensations swirled in her belly. He moved slowly, and the intensity started to build again as a fire rekindled. The flame grew brighter and stronger until a burning heat engulfed her.

  His slow strokes became fast and hard. He panted—his skin slick from his efforts, the muscles of his arms bunched from holding back. She wrapped her legs around his back and rose to meet his thrusts, pushing her to the frenzied edge. And then she was no longer in control. She rode a wave that carried her up and rolled her in its powerful embrace, then dropped her down toward the earth, spent and helpless.

  They lay face-to-face, listless. Only their mutual panting, which faded to a whisper, broke the silence. After a long while, he stirred, and she forced her eyes open. He was watching her with an intense look. “What is it?”

  “I want to tell you about my sister and Westonburt.”

  She nodded, and Alex began to ta
lk. When he finished, tears wet her eyes and hatred burned inside her. Lord Westonburt was a despicable beast. “I’m so sorry.”

  He nodded, and Gillian could see he was struggling to control his own emotions. They lay in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. After a bit she fell asleep. When she woke, shadows filled the room and a lone candle burned on the table.

  “I hope you don’t mind I searched the room and found the candle.”

  “No, I don’t mind.” Alex lay facing her on the bed. His skin glowed from the candlelight. She wanted to say here forever, but she couldn’t. Sighing, she said, “I have to go.”

  He reached out and ran his fingertips over her breast. Her body tingled to awareness immediately, but she batted his hand away and rolled off the bed before he could stop her. “We’ll have a lifetime together. Right now, I need to see my father.”

  Alex rolled off the bed and reached for his trousers as she slid her dress over her head. She turned her back to him. “Will you play my lady’s maid?”

  His hands curved around her shoulders while his lips brushed the sensitive skin behind her ear. “Gillian, my love, I’ll be anything you want me to be as long as I’m with you.”

  The promise heated her to her core. She leaned against him as his hands cupped her breasts, and his mouth worked magic on her neck. Heaven help her. She would never leave at this rate. She could not force herself to pull away from this man. Turning, she wrapped her arms around him and met his mouth in a hungry, plundering kiss.

  He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his torso, as he bent his head and tugged at the material of her dress with his teeth. He just about had the left shoulder completely bared when behind them, something rattled, and the door to the cabin burst open.

  A gasp filled the room, followed by a snicker. Gillian would know that laugh anywhere. “Put me down,” she demanded in Alex’s ear. He slid her body down the length of his, and as he did so, she tugged the left shoulder of her dress back in place before swinging around to face Whitney.

  Her sister stood with her hands on her hips and a smirk on her face. “I don’t know what I expected to find the two of you doing, but I must say, that acrobatic move I just witnessed surpassed my wildest expectations.”