Tangier fd-1

by William Bayer

  No sense brooding, he thought. Too much work to be done. He stroked the dusty curtains, then left the stage to check on things in back. Most of the cast was waiting in the wings. He went on to the dressing rooms to hurry the stragglers. In the men's section he found Jessamyn Drear watching Kelly apply powder to his ravaged face. They stopped whispering the moment he walked in. Jessamyn looked at him shyly. Kelly gave him a thumbs-up.

  "Brings it all back, Luscombe," he said. "Smell of the greasepaint and all that. Never thought I'd troop the boards again, especially not in old Tangier. Not after the accident. Never thought I would." He raised his hands to his face. "Oh, the scars, Luscombe-the scars. I was a beautiful kid once. Can you believe it? But the years took their toll. Then the crackup in Connecticut, a year in traction, every damn thing broken and torn. They wrote me right out of Suburban Wife. I was in the hospital, listening to the radio one day, when one of the characters announced my demise. There were a few tears, and that was the end of that. No hope of work then. When you're sick they forget you soon enough. No pity. Not in show biz. Play's the thing. Course you know all that yourself."

  Laurence was thinking of some way to respond when Jill Packwood stormed in, out of breath.

  "Place is filling up, Larry. Looks like a full house. Derik says we can start on time."

  He was about to answer her when Kelly interrupted. "Jill, sweetie, your dress is crooked. Better find a safety pin and hitch it up."

  "Oh! Thanks, Joe. Wish me luck."

  "Yeah," said Kelly, blowing her a kiss. "Break a leg, sweetheart. Break a leg."

  When she was gone he put his arm around Jessamyn Drear, then leaned toward Laurence and stuck out his chin. "Jill's got nice little tits," he said. "Course I don't want 'em. Ha! Ha! Ha!"

  Jessamyn giggled, but Laurence turned away, offended by Kelly's humor and the scent of liquor on his breath.

  He'd been impossible at rehearsals, always interrupting, trying to give his own directions to the cast. The man was unprofessional, the way he kept cutting Laurence off. But he was clever too, knew how to handle amateurs, call them "sweetheart" and "darling" and blame everything on Laurence when he turned his back. Kelly told long anecdotes that wasted time, boring stories about his experiences on the road-that charade game, for instance, the one he'd played in Kansas City, where he'd acted out "He who steals my merkin steals trash."

  No one, including Laurence, knew what a "merkin" was until Kelly smirked and then explained. "It's a female pubic hair wig," he said, then the vulgar, billowing laughter, the final "Ha! Ha! Ha!" Laurence couldn't stand it, wanted to fire him right out of the cast. But Kelly was good, a professional among amateurs. When he felt like it he had no difficulty standing out. Of course, he wasn't really top class, the way Laurence had been in his prime. Kelly could never have made it on the West End, where Laurence had worked for years. He'd been an actor's actor, not a star but a master craftsman admired in the ranks. His enemies called him "grand," but he'd never stooped to soap opera at least.

  Between the wars, when he'd had a little fling with society, he'd been invited to Lady Astor's, where he'd met T. E. Lawrence and Bernard Shaw. And he'd dined one summer at Villa Mauresque, with Noel Coward and Somerset Maugham. Willy Maugham had told a wonderful story that afternoon about the American writer Edna Millay. She'd come in uninvited, in the middle of a stag lunch, looked around at the house, the garden, and all the guests. "This is fairyland, Mr. Maugham," she'd said. He and Noel had chuckled through dessert.

  Now that was funny. Real wit. Not like those vulgar nonsense things that Kelly came out with all the time. What had he said last night at dress rehearsal? Something obscene to Jessamyn Drear. Oh, yes, he remembered now-one of his vulgar "knock knock" routines.

  "Knock knock."

  "Who's there?"

  "Fornication."

  "Fornication who?"

  "Fornication like this you ought to wear black tie. Ha! Ha! Ha!"

  Jessamyn had doubled up with laughter. It was ghastly the way Kelly was winning them all. They were so weak in their characters, so flabby in their souls, that they couldn't see through his simpering guile. One day he'd have it out with Kelly, force a showdown, expose him raw. But for the moment he mustn't think of that. The important thing was that The Winslow Boy go on.

  He left the dressing room, walked back around the stage to a door where he could watch the audience unseen. Many of the seats were taken, but the ones reserved for Peter Barclay and his group were still empty in the front. The Lakes, the Manchesters, and the Whittles were seated in the Consul General's row. Behind them sat Joop and Claude de Hoag, along with Claude's father, General Gilbert Bresson, and de Hoag's assistant, Jean Tassigny. Behind them he saw the Swedish dentist Sven Lundgren and Robin Scott, who would write the review.

  The writer Darryl Kranker came down the aisle with a beautiful Arab boy, and behind him Vicar Wick followed by Countess de Lauzon, blue eye circles matching her hair, and Patrick Wax, in a gold-trimmed cape, holding a thin little pony whip in his hand. Fufu, the Ugandan, was with his wife and an assortment of distinguished-looking blacks. With them was Omar Salah, chief of customs in the port.

  The Ashton Codds came next, along with Foster and Jackie Knowles. Laurence, noticing Inspector Ouazzani and his Asian girlfriend, peered around to find Peter Zvegintzov slung low in a seat on the other side.

  But where was the Barclay group? He needed Peter tonight, desperately needed the prestige of his praise. If Peter liked the play, then no one would dare speak against it, and Kelly's nasty little coup would be nipped right in its bud. But what if Peter didn't come? He'd promised he would, had reserved a whole row of seats, had even said something about a party afterward for friends. Laurence was counting on that-at the party Peter would put out the word. That night it would spread across the Mountain, would be all over town by the next afternoon. But what was Peter's promise really worth? Laurence knew not much. He was perfectly capable of forgetting the whole thing, or canceling out because it didn't suit his mood. That was the trouble with Peter Barclay, and everybody knew it too. He only did things that were in his interest, and cared only for himself.

  Whew! It was desperate now, already three past eight. Still there were people coming in: Inigo, the painter, who'd refused to do the sets, and his Moroccan boyfriend, the one Countess de Lauzon called "Pumpkin Pie." He'd worked in her garden before Inigo had picked him up. His real name was Mohammed, but the Countess had so many of those around her place that she couldn't stand it when she yelled "Mohammed" and six Berber faces suddenly looked up. So she'd renamed them, squeezing their biceps while waiting to be inspired. There was "Celery Tops" and "Coffee Boy" and "Tender in the Night." But Pumpkin Pie was the prettiest of the lot-Inigo had something there.

  Where was Barclay? The audience was restless. It was already eight past, and still no sign. They'd be having drinks somewhere when someone would say: "Oh, Peter, do we have to go to Larry's silly old play?" Peter would answer: "Of course not, darling." And none of them would give it another thought.

  Laurence was worrying about that, still peering around, when Derik Law, his stage manager, came running up.

  "Come on, Larry. We've got to start. It's twelve past. The hall's packed."

  "There're still empties up front, Derik. We'll have to hold curtain a while more."

  "But Larry," Derik moaned, "for heaven's sake. Everyone's nervous backstage. Joe says we've got to start or they'll all be too keyed up."

  "To hell with Joe Kelly, and to hell with what he says! Where does he get the nerve to tell me what to do?" Laurence was furious, his face puffed out and red. "I've forgotten more about theater than that Yankee clod ever knew. Don't they see that, Derik? Don't you? That he's just a phony, trying to undermine me and bring TP down?"

  Derik looked at the floor, then shook his head. "I don't think this is the time to get into that, Larry. At the next general meeting, maybe, but not tonight."

  "All right. Never mind. We'll start i
n another minute, whether Barclay comes or not."

  He was ashamed of his outburst, especially in front of Derik Law. Derik was his most loyal defender-when the crunch came with Kelly, Derik would stick by him to the end. Maybe, he thought, he was too hard on everybody. Maybe his temper was too short.

  There was some commotion in the audience now. A couple of people had begun to clap. Well, all right, damn them. He'd start the thing. He was about to turn, make his way backstage, when he heard laughter coming from the hall. People were trooping in through the rear door. He turned back to look, and then he smiled. The Barclay group had arrived at last.

  He might have known Peter wouldn't let him down. He was leading his crowd, that fat old moth Camilla Weltonwhist on his arm, followed by Percy Bainbridge, tall, elegant, and Colonel Brown in his formals, a row of medals festooning his chest. Vanessa Bolton, willowy and svelte, was with her current love, an Italian prince. Lord and Lady Pitt followed, Rachid El Fassi, his stunning wife, some good-looking people Laurence didn't know, with Skiddy de Bayonne bringing up the rear. Certainly they were the cream of the Mountain, the leaders of Tangier. Peter had outdone himself, and Laurence grew serene. Everything would be fine now that Peter Barclay had arrived.

  He and Camilla Weltonwhist marched like royalty down the center aisle, and everyone in the theater, even the ones who hated and envied them, turned around to stare. Camilla's diamond collar gleamed, and Peter, handsome, his iron-gray hair combed back, craned his head, stuck out his leathery neck to render greetings to his waiting friends. "Hello, hello, hello," he said, shaking his cane. "Hello, darling. Hello. Hello." He said the word over and over, changing his inflection each time, so that each person received a smile, a special greeting reserved for him.

  Even Patrick Wax, for all his airs, his gold-trimmed robes, and his palace of thrones and mirrors-even Patrick, the imposter, had turned around to gape. That was the source of Peter Barclay's power-that he alone among the British residents knew truly who he was. The others intrigued and entertained, moved about the Mountain as best they could, but in the end if they ever reached the top Peter was all they'd find. It was comical, the way they schemed and scraped, because Peter didn't care. Not for anyone, not even for his closest friends. (He called Camilla Weltonwhist "Mrs. Stout" behind her back.) But all that didn't matter, because he created an effect-which Laurence admired the same way he admired a fine performance by Gielgud or Olivier.

  Thank God, he thought, thank God he's come. Thank God that Peter Barclay is my friend.

  But the moment he thought that, he knew it wasn't true. Peter Barclay wasn't his friend, never would be, never could. They'd known each other all the years that Laurence had been in Tangier, and never, never once in all that time, had Peter had him in his house.

  His mind turned back to the play. He let the door slip closed, moved into the wings, and gave the signal to Derik Law. The house lights dimmed, the theater went black, then the great curtains were slowly drawn. The audience applauded the set and settled down. The Winslow Boy began.

  Laurence couldn't bear to stand in the wings on opening night, preferred instead to watch from the back. Here he could gauge the reactions of the house, pace about, take notes, and if the tension became too great he could slip out to the lobby for a rest.

  Everything seemed off to a good start. He had a sixth sense about such things, could tell almost immediately when an audience was getting glued. He could feel it building now and guessed it was on account of the play. He couldn't imagine people not liking The Winslow Boy, with its commitment to perseverance and family life.

  He was thinking about that and about Peter Barclay's praise (was counting on it now) when he felt a flash of pride. TP might be an amateur group, but professional standards were enforced. It wasn't like all those little clubs that Kelly had been involved with in the States. And though every expatriate colony had its group, TP was among the very best in the world. Word had gotten around about that. Some people in Gibraltar had even come over for advice.

  Laurence had done Heartbreak House, Death of a Salesman, and King Lear, then produced The Cherry Orchard, Hedda Gabler, and Ghosts. Kelly, damn him, wanted to do Boys in the Band. Said it would be "amusing to put a mirror up to all those queers." Then he'd made a nasty crack about the Shakespeare reading Laurence was planning for the fall. "Bunch of queens playing kings," he'd said. "Let's can the Shakespeare and write our own cabaret. We can beckon them out of their closets, show them what they are. I've already got a title: Queersville-sur-Mer."

  It was a rotten, disgusting idea, and Laurence told him so to his face. "Do what you want, Kelly, in your personal life. But don't mess around with TP."

  Laurence was wincing over the memory of that when he heard footsteps in the lobby downstairs. A moment later the rear door opened and a young man in police uniform appeared. Laurence brought his forefinger to his lip and pointed toward the stage. The policeman nodded, then moved closer to whisper in his ear.

  "Have you seen Inspector Ouazzani?" he asked in French.

  Laurence pointed him out. The policeman crept down the aisle to Ouazzani's row, caught his attention, and handed him a note. Ouazzani read it, whispered something to his woman, then stood up and walked back up the aisle.

  "Sorry to leave in the middle, Mr. Luscombe," he said. "But I've been called away to work."

  Laurence nodded, and Ouazzani and the policeman left. It was damn decent, he thought, of the Inspector to explain.

  But what was happening? The hall was silent. No voices were coming from the stage. Laurence turned to see Kelly glaring out, hands on his hips, miming a slow burn. Silence, then a "Hear, hear" from the front. Someone else whistled from the side.

  Laurence was aghast. The man had brought the play to a halt. He was about to panic, run down the aisle and cry apologies, when Kelly gave a shrug, stepped back to where he'd been, and resumed his part. Laurence was relieved, but only for a moment. Then he realized that Kelly's acting was taking a strange new turn. He was using a preposterous accent, making fun of all his lines. The audience began to stir. The whole tenor of the hall began to change. The spell that had been building was broken now, and the other actors, terrified, were stumbling and missing their cues.

  The audience began to laugh. There was scattered applause in the hall. Kelly, spurred on, bumped into Jill Packwood, then turned to the audience and winked. It was incredible. Kelly was behaving like a lunatic. It had all been so beautiful, and now everything on stage was going mad. A serious drama was being turned into a farce, and the audience, shaken by the change, was laughing like a herd of fools.

  Have they no pity for their friends? Laurence was appalled. It was all Kelly's fault. He would see to him, in the dressing room between the acts. He ran out to the lobby, collapsed in a fit of coughing, recovered, then ran around to the stage door. He pounded on it. The damn thing was locked. Thank God, he thought, they're near the end of the act. He couldn't hear the lines anymore; they were submerged in the cruel laughter of the house. He pounded on the door again. Finally Derik opened up.

  "What's happening, Larry? I don't understand."

  "Horrible, horrible." Laurence could hardly speak. "It's Kelly. He's gone berserk. He's making a shambles of the play."

  He pushed Derik aside and ran into the wings, catching the final moments of the act. All the lines were correct as far as that went, but the tone had gone cheap, turning them to rubbish in the actors' mouths. Finally the curtain was drawn, and a great surge of applause erupted from the house. Laurence covered his face and ran off to the dressing room to prepare for the showdown he knew must come.

  As he waited for the cast, he tried hard to clear his head. The Winslow Boy was finished now, could never be redeemed. But perhaps out of the shambles of the evening he could reestablish his control. He would put it to the membership, in the few minutes between the acts. They could decide, right then, where their interests lay-with the American hack and his stale jokes or with Laurence Luscombe, who'd
taught them how to act.

  He was still glowering when they came in, but something in their manner put him on his guard. Instead of pouncing on Kelly, Jill Packwood and Jack Whyte were patting him on the back.

  "Now look here," said Laurence. "These antics have got to stop. I don't know why you started, but you've ruined half the play."

  "Ha!" said Kelly. "Don't know why we started! In case you didn't notice people were walking out."

  "There weren't any walkouts. It was Inspector Ouazzani, called away by the police."

  "Oh, come off it, Luscombe. The play's a bomb. There was someone snoring in the first row."

  "Who was snoring? Just tell me who he was!"

  "That old coot Bainbridge," said Whyte. "We could all hear him from the stage."

  "Then ignore him, pretend he isn't there. You've got to go back and do it right."

  "Damn," said Kelly, "we were making jackasses of ourselves. A few laughs is what this play needs."

  "Joe's right," said Jill. "The audience is lapping it up."

  "We'll really give it to them in the next act, honey. Let's all try for collisions at the drawing room door."

  "Now listen!" shouted Laurence, red in the face. "I'm the director, and I'm laying down the law."

  "Oh, hell, Luscombe, we're only having fun. It's a rotten play. Everyone knows it now."

  "It's serious-"

  "My ass! It's nothing but a crock of shit. You're standing there all cozy in the back, but our asses are on the line. This is my first time on stage in Tangier, and I don't need a bad review. You always wanted me to play Winslow like a fart. Well, I refuse! Your corny West End stuff doesn't go down with me. Your trouble, Luscombe, is that you've been out of it too long. That audience wants to laugh; I say give them what they want."

  "I'm with you, Joe," said Whyte.

  "Me too, Joe." It was Jessamyn Drear.

  Derik Law stuck in his head. "They're filtering back from the lobby, Larry. It's a two-minute call."

  But Laurence didn't hear him. He was glaring at Kelly's eyes. "You're doing this because you want to destroy TP. Admit it! That's your game!"