The Pinkaboos: Bitterly and the Giant Problem

by Jake Gosselin

  The giant whimpered when he heard it, and Molly almost felt a tiny bit bad for him.

  He came toward the tree where Molly was waiting. He was looking at the ground, where he’d heard Bitterly’s eerie sound coming from, so he didn’t notice when he walked right by Molly, so close that she could almost reach out and touch his big hairy ear.

  Molly was feeling so much less scared, she decided to have a little fun of her own. She thought of all the noises that frightened her at night and remembered how creepy the water pipes in her house sounded—like a ghostly gasp. She made the exact same noise right into his ear. As soon as he heard it, the giant froze in his tracks and slowly lifted up the match with a trembling hand to where Molly sat in the tree.

  As Molly came into the ominous glow of the match, she looked the giant right in the eye and yelled, “Boo!” Then she blew out the match.

  “AHHHH, MONSTER!” The giant screamed as he ran in the opposite direction. Molly began chasing him.

  “I’m right behind you!” she teased.

  “NOOOOOOO!” he wailed.

  Bitterly chased after Molly, laughing. “Isn’t this fun? He’s afraid of you!”

  Molly stopped and turned.

  “I love this, Bitterly,” she said, giggling. “Thank you.”

  “I’m glad,” Bitterly said. “And thank you for coming into my dream.”

  “I did?” Molly said.

  “Yeah, you really helped me with some stuff,” Bitterly said.

  “Hmm. I don’t remember doing that, but you’re welcome—wait. Is this a dream?” She shook her head back and forth. Suddenly, Bitterly was sucked out of the dream, shooting through the screen and landing behind her desk in Miss Viper’s class. All of the other little frights were clapping and cheering. Miss Viper had her small hands clasped in pride.

  “Now, that’s how you become a fright,” she smiled.

  Chapter 8

  Bitterly was ecstatic after class, but even so, she wanted to be alone. Belladonna and Abyssma wanted to go out for slices of insect pie to celebrate, but Bitterly wasn’t in the mood. She walked up on the side of a secluded hill and looked out at the crescent moon. She wished she could talk to Molly without having to enter her dreams. She wondered if Molly had really appeared in her dream at all, or was it just her imagination? She heard someone climbing the hill behind her. The grass ruffled; the leaves blew into the wind and danced about in the sky. She saw a thin hand with fingers like long strings of gray yarn grasp at the grass at the top of the hill. Then a head appeared—wisps of green hair waved in the breeze. It was Vex.

  Bitterly was astonished when Vex sat down next to her. Her wings, once triumphant and shimmering silver, now seemed to hang withered at her side.

  “I heard you did real good work with your little girl,” Vex said. “Everyone’s talking about it.”

  “Uhhh, thanks,” Bitterly said. The two frights were quiet for a while. Both seemed to be deep in thought as the moon hung between the trees. A gust of wind blew through Bitterly’s black hair. Vex looked at Bitterly and smiled.

  “I had a little girl once,” Vex said, finally breaking the silence. “I was always in her dreams.”

  “Really?” Bitterly asked.

  Vex’s eyes narrowed. She watched a beetle scurry up a long blade of gray grass in front of her. She hoisted up her pitch-black shoe and quickly smashed it.

  “I was once Miss Viper’s favorite student, too. I got the first little girl in our class, just like you did. Everyone was excited to see what I could do. I was excited, too,” she said wistfully.

  “What happened?” Bitterly asked. Vex’s mouth contorted into a strange grimace.

  “My little girl was afraid of ghosts. In her dreams, ghosts would moan from her closet and under her bed. I tried to scare the ghosts away, but they just laughed at me.”

  Vex clenched her sharp teeth as she muttered, “Their hollow laughter made me so mad.”

  “What did you do?” Bitterly asked.

  “I used my magic,” Vex said.

  Bitterly gasped. Every fright knew how dangerous it was to use magic inside of a dream.

  “Nothing was working, so I thought I’d just cast a simple frost spell to freeze one of them,” Vex admitted. “And I was right. It was fine at first, but then things went wrong. My spells got out of control and it was like . . . like I couldn’t stop casting them. I started blasting the ghosts with fire and lightning. My hair stood on end, my teeth became sharper, and my wings . . . well, they used to look like butterfly wings.”

  She paused and a smile crept upon her face. “My little girl was more terrified than she’d ever been.”

  “That’s awful.” Bitterly put her hand on Vex’s bony shoulder, but Vex shrugged her away and continued, “I became my little girl’s nightmare. I would sometimes find myself in her dreams, and I was scaring her, not helping her.”

  “Holy bats!” Bitterly exclaimed. “We have to do something. Let’s go talk to Miss Viper right now!”

  Vex laughed. “Oh you silly little Pinkaboo. Don’t you get it? This is what I was meant to do. I was never meant to be a silly fright; I was meant to be a nightmare.”

  The two frights let Vex’s words hang in the air for a moment. Bitterly could feel her heart beating hard in her chest.

  “I’m my little girl’s nightmare, and now I’m yours, too,” Vex murmured.

  “No,” Bitterly said. “You’re . . . you’re just confused. You used magic in a dream, and you shouldn’t have, and maybe it did something to you, but . . . but you can be a fright again!”

  “You don’t get it, do you?” Vex said as she stood up. “I love being a nightmare.”

  Vex turned to fly away, and Bitterly shouted, “This isn’t over, Vex!”

  Vex hovered over Bitterly and glared. “You’re right, my little Pinkaboo. It’s only just beginning.”

  Chapter 9

  Miss Viper’s class the next day was full of intense lessons. She taught the little frights how to put a dragon on a leash and that unraveling mummies can be a quick fix in a pinch. But most important, she wanted the frights to teach their little girls to be the fear themselves. This was the hardest part. Abyssma’s horns turned red.

  “Now, my frights, don’t get too frustrated. One day you will have your magic to help you.” Abyssma’s horns turned back to pink polka dots, and she looked relieved.

  “But . . .” Miss Viper continued, “I know some of you have already been experimenting with magic.”

  She shot a glance at Bitterly, who looked quickly down at her shoes.

  “Magic is never to be used until you truly comprehend what your powers are. Understood?”

  “Yes, Miss Viper,” the class chorused back. Bitterly mumbled it quietly.

  Just before the bell rang, Miss Viper’s eyes gazed across the classroom as the frights chattered excitedly and waited to be excused. Miss Viper’s small black eyes rested on Belladonna, who was staring back—pencil in hand—eager to take more notes.

  When the bell rang, it was time for the frights to head to the cafeteria, where Miss Slugworthy had made a giant vat of bone soup. Bone soup was prepared once a month and was considered a delicacy among the frights.

  As the frights jumped up from their desks, Miss Viper called: “Don’t forget to read chapter six of your textbook. There might be a pop quiz on how to tangle a zombie’s legs coming up. Until next class, my little frights.”

  Then she slithered over to Belladonna. “Belladonna. Stay for a moment?”

  Belladonna didn’t flinch.

  As the last fright flitted out of the room, Miss Viper shut the door and looked at Belladonna.

  “I have some news,” she said firmly. “You’re next to meet your little girl.”

  Belladonna flew out of her chair, glasses falling off as she hugged Miss
Viper as hard as she could.

  “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” she cried. “You won’t regret—”

  Miss Viper cut her off, “It’s not an easy one, I’m afraid. It’s complicated,” she hissed.

  “Oh. Well, I know I can handle anything, Miss Viper,” Belladonna said. “If it’s a fear of ghosts, I’ll hit them with chapter twelve of Fearsky and Boocharm’s Identifying and Removing Non-Corporeal Entities! If it’s spiders, I’ll go with chapters three through six from Dr. Acid’s seminal text, Zen and the Art of Squishing Bugs—”

  Miss Viper cut her off again, “Your little girl’s name is Ava. That’s all I can tell you for now. And I have a book for you to read; I don’t think you’ve ever read it before.”

  “Never read it before?” Belladonna looked skeptical. “I find that highly unlikely.”

  Miss Viper slithered over to the bookshelf and selected a book. She handed it to Belladonna, who grabbed it like a child opening her first gift on Christmas morning.

  “Read this tonight,” she hissed. “We’ll talk after our next class. You are excused.”

  Belladonna looked down at the book and read the title out loud. When Frights Become Nightmares.

  Bitterly

  Despite her extreme apprehension about her own abilities, Bitterly is one of the most promising students in Fright School. Bitterly was the first of her class to be assigned a little girl to protect. Naturally gifted, Bitterly has the potential to do great things, but she’ll need to overcome her own fears first.

  Belladonna

  The only thing Belladonna loves more than a good book is her friends. Driven to learn as much as she can, Belladonna spends most of her free time studying. She can recite any spell in a pinch and is very eager to help her first little girl overcome nightmares.

  Abyssma

  Abyssma is strong, independent, and fiercely loyal to her fellow Pinkaboos. She has a fabulous set of horns that change color when she’s mad. They’re pretty cool. Because she’s the biggest Pinkaboo, bullies tend to keep their distance when she’s around.

  Vex

  Bullies are usually mean because they’re not happy . . . and Vex is the school bully. To make herself feel better, Vex makes the younger frights feel bad about themselves by calling them names. She targets Bitterly and her friends, and Bitterly quickly learns that standing up to her isn’t easy!

  Miss Viper

  Miss Viper is the one and only teacher at Fright School. Since becoming a teacher in the year 1892 (which was a very long time ago), Miss Viper has taught young frights at Fright School how to enter the dreams of little girls to battle their nightmares.

  Write Your Own

  Spooky Story!

  If you have something that worries you at night, write a story about it! Make the story silly, and you’ll see in no time that you will be less afraid of your fear! Are you afraid of ghosts? Give your ghost a silly name such as “Whooshy” and illustrate your story with cool pictures. Draw a silly hat on Whooshy. In no time, you’ll find the ghost is less scary and more fun!

  the Science of Fear

  Do you ever get scared in bed at night? When the lights go out, does your imagination run wild with spooky thoughts? Pinkafans, that’s OK—and totally normal! Scientists have been studying fear for many years.

  Here’s what happens to your body when you’re afraid:

  To keep you safe, your brain is always on the lookout for danger. If it senses trouble, your brain sends an alert to your body.

  Before you know it, your heart starts beating loud and fast.

  Your breathing changes, and you often begin sweating.

  In an instant, you may have a “fight or flight” reaction. This means your instincts tell you to stick around and fight whatever you’re up against, or run away as fast as you can.

  So why does fear exist? Fear helps us to detect danger. A long time ago, fear was a normal part of everyday life because people didn’t have the stuff we have today that keeps us safe, such as fire engines and police officers. Sometimes, people would find themselves running away from grizzly bears or the hot lava from volcanoes! People relied on fear to help to keep them alert to all the things that could hurt them. We may not have the same dangers as our ancestors, but we can still have a similar reaction.

  Bitterly’s Advice

  on Getting Over Fears

  So what’s a good way to get over your fear? Bitterly says that facing your fear slowly will often help you to feel less afraid. Another good way is to talk about your fears with your parents, brothers, sisters, or friends. Talking about it can help you figure out why things are scary to you and sometimes change the way you think about them. You might find that once you figure out why something is scary, it diffuses the fear. “Diffuse” is just a fancy word for disappear, so once the fear disappears, you’re not scared any more. Plus, it just feels good to find out that other people can be scared of things, too!

  P.S. Bitterly says sometimes fear can be fun. If you like watching a scary movie, reading a spine-tingling book, or going on a roller coaster, then you have learned to have fun with fear.

  the History of Giants

  In Bitterly and the Giant Problem, we read about how Molly had a fear of giants that Bitterly helped her overcome. But where did the idea of giants come from? Here are some cool facts about giants:

  Almost every group of people in the world has stories they tell about giants, from the mighty Cyclops of Greek mythology to the frightful frost giants of Norse mythology—and even English fairy tales, such as “Jack and the Beanstalk.”

  Giants come in many different shapes and sizes. Cyclops was a ferocious giant with just one eye and could throw huge rocks. The giant Atlas was big enough to carry the whole planet on his back!

  Frost giants often fought with gods like Thor. They could be very scary and sometimes had extra heads or arms. Some of them even looked like animals, like Fenrir the giant wolf!

  Paul Bunyan was a giant lumberjack. He was an unusual giant because he was not a bad guy. He was a hero! Many of his adventures focused on his incredible size and strength as he traveled the United States with his giant blue ox named Babe.

  Are giants real? Not the kinds that are in these old stories, but some people can grow to be quite tall. The tallest person in the world was named Robert Wadlow, and he was almost nine feet tall. If you stood on top of your own head, you still might not be as tall as him!

  Make Your Own

  “Wormy” Cupcakes!

  You will need:

  A box of chocolate cupcake mix

  Chocolate frosting (from scratch or store bought)

  Oreos

  Gummy worms and plastic spiders

  Help from a grown-up (if needed)

  Steps:

  Follow the directions on the cupcake box to make and bake your cupcakes. (You may need a grown-up to take things out of the hot oven.)

  The fun part—smash your Oreos into tiny crumbs! This will be the “dirt.” Put the crumbs in a bowl.

  Frost your cupcakes with chocolate frosting.

  Dip your chocolate cupcakes into the Oreo dirt.

  Top with gummy worms and plastic spiders. Yummy!

  About the Authors

  Jake Gosselin grew up in Canada, where he spent his youth battling frost giants, tricking evil spirits, and talking to wolves. None of this can be proven, but it should be noted that a frost giant hasn’t been seen since 1982.

  As a child, Jake had numerous fears, including but not limited to zombies, vampires, ghosts, demons, gelatinous cubes, goblins, large insects, small insects, biting insects, horses, geese, monkeys, grouchy adults, and Brussels sprouts.

  Now that Jake is an “adult,” all of his fears are crammed into a deep corner of his min
d. Occasionally he lets them out to play and writes down what he sees, which apparently makes him a writer. He lives in California with his wife, Laura; daughter, Molly; bearded dragon, Dezi; cat, Mittens; hamster, Peanut; and dog, Chewbacca.

  Laura Gosselin grew up in England and used to stare out her classroom window so much that her teachers called her a daydreamer. Little did they know she was thinking up fun stories she could tell one day. Or perhaps she was sleeping with her eyes open.

  When she was little, Laura was afraid of sharks in swimming pools and large bugs with wings. Now that she’s a grown-up, Laura is afraid of laundry, bills, and whiny children. She is also super afraid of spiders. The bigger and hairier they are, the louder she screams.

  After going to school in New York, living in Canada, and finally settling in Southern California, Laura has come to realize that only three things in life really matter: 1) happiness; 2) happiness; and finally, after much consideration, 3) happiness.

  About the Illustrator

  A1993 graduate of the Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art, Billy Kelly has been designing children’s books since before you were born, if you were born after 1993.

  In 2004, Billy and his wife, Jacqueline, launched their very own design studio, YAY! Design, in Lewisburg, Pennsylvania, and there was much rejoicing.

  Since 2009, Billy has been writing and recording songs for kids. National Public Radio has praised Billy’s quirky children’s music for its “endearingly oddball sense of humor.” His songs can be heard on SiriusXM Satellite Radio and on radio stations all across the land, assuming you have the radio turned on and tuned in to the right station at the exact right time. Billy was nominated for a 2016 Grammy for Trees, a children’s album he recorded with South Carolina songwriter Molly Ledford. Oh—he is a stand-up comedian, too!