Off the Hook: Faking it #3

by Chloe Walsh

  That fucking blew my mind.

  "Because I was scared, alright?" Kim screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You're tight with his kids. I didn’t know how loyal you'd be if they pressed you for –"

  "I'm your brother," I snarled, not giving her a chance to finish her sentence. "Your flesh and blood. My loyalty lies with you, Kim. Damn."

  "Nathan, you have no clue how hard it was for me back then."

  "How hard it was for you?" I shot back, furious. "How about how hard it's gonna be for Trey when Liv spills the beans and the poor bastard finds out he's been raising another man's daughter?" I shuddered in disgust. "Goddamn, I can't even look at you right now."

  "Nathan, you can't let that happen," Kim sobbed. "Please – please – Nathan. I'm begging you. Make it go away. Go back to Liv and make her keep her mouth shut. Do whatever you need to do to shut that woman up. I am begging you!"

  "How the hell am I supposed to do that, Kim?" I roared. The memory of what Liv Davis wanted from me entered my mind and I flinched. Flustered, I ran a hand through my hair and exhaled a broken sigh. "I can't fix this for you," I finally said. "I'm sorry, Kim, but you’re on your own with this."

  "Fine. If you won't do it for me then do it for Callie," Kim countered, morphing into mama bear mode. "Do it for your niece, Nathan. Your innocent, kind, beautiful, niece. My god, you've seen that man! You know how he treats those kids – how he treats Andi…" her voice broke off and she groaned as if in physical pain. "Do you want Callie to end up under his roof?" she demanded then. "Do you want her to become a living ghost like Andi, Nate? Because that's exactly what will happen if he finds out about Callie being his daughter."

  "Don’t put this on me, Kim," I warned, trembling. "And don’t you dare use Andi against me."

  My sister knew what Andi meant to me.

  Everything…

  "I gave up my childhood to take care of you," my sister hissed then, eyes red and bloodshot. "I fed you and cleaned up after you and protected you for years, Nathan. I did all of that for you because I love you! Because you're my brother." Her voice shook as she threw a lifetime of nurturing at me like bullet from a loaded gun. "I am asking you to do one thing in return for me. One. For me and for my child."

  "You don’t know what she wants me to do…" I whispered brokenly. "If you knew then you –"

  "I don’t care!" Kim all but screamed, interrupting me. "Just do it. Give her what she wants, Nathan. Whatever it is. Whatever it takes. Make this go away!"

  ****

  DISGUST FILLED EVERY INCH of my body.

  Self-loathing possessed every slither of my soul.

  Her hands on my body only made it worse.

  My brain, my heart, and my conscience rebelled against what was occurring, while my traitorous teenage dick reveled in the moment.

  Everything had gone to hell.

  My hopes.

  My dreams.

  My plans for the future.

  My dream of a future with Andi.

  They were gone now, slipping away with every thrust of her hips.

  Covering my face with my hand, I clenched my eyes shut and remained still beneath her.

  Blocking out the sound of her moans and cries, I forced myself to think of someone else.

  Anyone else.

  But only one face came to mind.

  Andi.

  ****

  Andi

  (Age 16)

  DEEP DOWN IN MY heart and soul, I knew Nathan Cole hadn't been a virgin since freshman year of high school. But somehow, seeing him with his penis buried deep inside of Dallas Holloway made the realization a million times worse.

  I didn’t mean to walk in on them tonight.

  I also didn’t intend to stay and watch.

  But that's what happened.

  I had decided to go downstairs to one of Jackson's house parties and see what the fuss was about.

  The Springhill Bobcat's had won their game so I knew the celebration would be in full swing.

  I really wasn’t sure what I had expected to find downstairs, but a brothel like setting certainly hadn't crossed my mind.

  The smell of cigarette smoke and beer filled my senses the moment I stepped off the bottom step.

  There were drunk teenagers scattered all over the ground floor of our home, most of them paired off and making out.

  Feeling out of place, I steeled my spine and walked through the house with my head held high. I shouldn’t feel out of place, not in my own home, but I did.

  Avoiding several inebriated seniors from school, I hurried through the lounge and down the hallway to where my father's office was stationed.

  It was quieter down here and I was glad.

  I wasn’t used to the noise or the companionship.

  "…Ugh…Mmmm…Fuck me…"

  The sex noises coming from the other side of the office door filled my ears and I balked.

  "…. Yes…Ugh. Take me harder…"

  Jackson?

  No way.

  I shook my head and rebuked at the thought.

  He wouldn’t be foolish enough to go in there…

  Don’t do it, Andi.

  Don’t go there.

  Don’t open the door…

  Foolish, and riddled with curiosity, I opened the door.

  The air expelled from my lungs in a gasp the moment I laid eyes on Dallas Holloway sprawled on her back on my father's desk with Nate between her legs.

  With the exception of his jeans hanging low, revealing a slither of his bare butt, Nate was fully clothed as he stood between Dallas's legs with his hands on either side of her hips.

  He was rough with her – relentless even – as he slammed himself inside her over and over.

  She was screaming like an award-winning porn star, obviously thrilled to have Springhill's star quarterback buried between her legs.

  Before that moment, I never knew a human heart could break at the same time the body ignited with unsated desire.

  I was the one in love with him.

  She didn’t love him like I did.

  And yet he was inside her.

  It should be you, a voice inside of me hissed. Nathan Cole belongs with you…

  They didn’t even notice I was watching; they were too caught up in the moment…too caught up in fucking each other's brains out.

  And I was a glutton for punishment because I stood right there in the doorway of my father's office and watched the boy I was in love with have sex with a girl who wasn’t nearly good enough for him.

  ****

  Nate

  (Age 17)

  I NEEDED TO GET the hell out of this town.

  If I didn’t, I was going to lose my goddamn mind.

  With my head bent and my attention focused on the textbook opened in front of me, I scribbled down my notes for advanced Biology furiously. It was the last class of the day, and most of the other students were lounging around waiting for the bell. I, on the other hand, was building my empire, investing in my future.

  Yeah, I knew what half of the asshole's in this room thought. They wondered why the hell a guy in my position would bother with advanced bio when I didn’t have a rich daddy to foot the bill to med school.

  Well fuck them.

  I didn’t need no rich prick's money.

  No, I was getting myself out of this town on my own merit.

  With my goddamn brain and my throwing arm.

  And when I got there, I would clap myself on the back.

  That was for damn sure.

  I worked hard in the classroom and played harder on the field. It was a concoction that had led me to success. I was on the brink of a major scholarship to UA. My future was almost sealed. I was so close I could almost taste my freedom. Knowing this made all of the studying and football training – not to mention the countless hours of overtime I put in at Trey's auto shop – worth it.

  I was this fucking close.

  As per normal, the moment I thought about my plans for t
he future, Andi's face entered my mind and I balked.

  Goddamn, she needed to stay out of my head.

  I had to focus on my own future – and she had no business in it.

  But still, no matter how hard I tried to force the image of her out of my mind, she wouldn’t fucking go…

  "Come on, Nate!" Dallas mewled impatiently, patting the mattress in the Jackson's guest room. "Come back to bed and we'll try again."

  What she meant was come back to bed and make her come.

  "I need some air," I shot back as I pulled on my jeans.

  I couldn’t do this with her.

  Not tonight.

  "God!" she hissed, angry now, as she sprawled out naked and kicked the bed. "You are so fucking selfish!"

  "Selfish? I've been working all fucking week," I shot back, slipping on my sneakers. Not to mention, I'd just played one hell of a game tonight. "I'm tired, Dallas. Damn."

  "You're pathetic," she spat. "I'm here, offering myself to you on a plate, and you're too tired?" She shook her head and screamed. "I should find myself a real man. One with stamina."

  "Then why don’t you go ahead and do that?" I shot back. "And save me a pain in the fucking head."

  "Don’t even think you're coming back in here and sleeping with me tonight," she snarled when I walked over to the door of the bedroom and pulled it open. "I mean it, Nate. Walk out that door and I'm gonna find myself some real dick."

  "Go for it," I tossed back before stalking out and slamming the door behind me.

  Goddamn that girl infuriated me.

  Pissed off and tired, I walked down the hallway and slipped inside the one room I knew wouldn’t be filled with people fucking.

  "Nate?" Andi's voice was groggy as she called out to me in the darkness.

  "Yeah, it's me."

  "Are you okay?"

  "Tired," I admitted gruffly. "I'm real fucking tired, Andi."

  "Oh. Is the party still going on downstairs?"

  I nodded, even though I knew she couldn’t see me in the darkness. "I just wanna crash."

  "You can sleep here with me," she whispered back. "Always."

  "Thank you." Trying to be quiet, I walked over to my favorite patch on her bedroom floor and threw myself down. "I'm sorry about this."

  "About what?"

  "Hijacking your floor," I mumbled. "Again."

  "Nathan." A pillow landed on my chest. Seconds later, a blanket followed. "You don’t have to apologize to me."

  Yeah, I did.

  I had so many things I needed to apologize to her for…

  "Night, Andi."

  "Goodnight, Nate."

  Dallas wasn’t just a distraction from my obsession with Andi Davis.

  She was the reality check I needed.

  I never had a shot with that girl.

  Not before what I'd done and not since.

  I was a gutter rat and she was everything.

  The bell rang then, signaling the end of class, and distracting me from my thoughts. I tossed my books in my bag before getting up and following the rest of the herd out of class.

  When I reached the hallway inside the main entrance, I locked eyes on Andi standing alone at her locker and my feet almost tripped me up. What the fuck? I had balance that rivaled an acrobat.

  Whatever it was about that girl always screwed with my insides.

  She looked so small and fragile as she fought with the door of her locker.

  Like a bee to honey, I was drawn to her. The fact that I was supposed to be at football practice five minutes ago seemed inconsequential to the burning need I had inside of me to help her out.

  Walking up behind her, I reached out an arm and yanked the locker door open.

  My actions caused Andi to squeal in surprise. "Oh my god!" She gasped as she flew around to face me. The moment her eyes landed on mine, she grinned up at me. "My hero."

  Now why'd she have to go and say shit like that?

  "Trust me, I'm not your hero, Andi Davis."

  "I think you are, Nathan Cole," she replied, a sudden fierceness in her tone.

  Fuck, I was enraptured by this girl.

  She was looking up at me like she wanted me to kiss her. And damn, right now, I really wanted to.

  "In the future, sort your own shit," I forced myself to say before stalking off, needing to put space between me and that girl.

  I wasn’t Andi Davis's hero.

  Not anymore.

  And if she ever found out what I'd done, she'd hate my guts.

  I figured I'd just help her learn it earlier.

  ****

  Andi

  (Age 17)

  "I'M TELLING YOU, ANDI. They just broke up! Like right this second. In front of my very eyes."

  I couldn’t hide my happiness as I listened to my best friend tell me the best news of my day, week, year, and possibly decade. "Are you serious?" I whispered.

  Please let her be serious.

  Please let it be permanent.

  "As serious as a heart attack," Ivy shot back. "Nathan dumped her nasty ass in front of everyone before storming out of the party!"

  Unable to contain my excitement at the prospect of Nathan Cole being single again, I leapt off my bed and did a little celebratory dance in my tank top and panties. "I can't believe this!"

  "I know, right?" I could hear the amusement in Ivy's voice. "And about damn time, too."

  "I think this is the best day of my life," I confessed, biting down on my bottom lip. "And yes, I do realize how absolutely pathetic that makes me, but I don’t care." He's single again…

  "You should see Dallas's face, babe," Ivy chuckled. "It's priceless…oh, hang on a sec. Hey handsome…"

  The sound of my brother's voice came from the other line and I balked. "Are you with Jackson?"

  "Hey. Don’t judge," was all I heard Ivy reply before the sound of my brother's laughter filled my ear.

  "Hey, Ive's, be careful with him," I warned. "He's a bad –" I didn’t have a chance to finish my sentence; the beep on the other side of the line assured me that my best friend had ended our call.

  "Idea," I whispered to myself. "He's a really bad idea."

  "Who's a really bad idea?" a familiar voice slurred and I screamed before throwing my phone in the air.

  My eyes landed on Nathan standing in my bedroom doorway, looking all broody and pensive. My body sagged in relief milliseconds before my heart made the connection and jackhammered in my chest. "You scared me," I gasped, clutching my chest. "What are you doing here, Nate?"

  "Isn't it obvious?" he asked, his words a mumbled slur. "I came to see you."

  "You're drunk," I observed nervously as I watched him stagger towards me.

  "I am," he agreed, taking an achingly long time to reach me. "I most… definitely… am." When he finally reached me, the smell of alcohol almost took my breath away."

  "Did you drive here?" I heard myself ask, feeling bitter disappointment at the thought of Nate getting behind the wheel this wasted.

  "If by drive you mean hitch a ride to your house with the Warden of the Wasted, then yeah," he shot back, grinning wolfishly. "I left my truck at the party."

  "That's good to know." I giggled at his funny way of saying designated driver. "I'm happy you didn’t drive her." I'm happy you're safe…

  "Jackson's still there," he added proudly as if remembering where he left my brother was a big achievement. He staggered slightly then and I quickly wrapped my arm around his waist to steady him.

  "I know," I replied as I helped him over to my bed. "Ivy called me." I helped him sit down. "She told me about you and Dallas breaking up." I sank to the floor and began to untie the laces on his boots. "I'm sorry to hear that, Nate." I wasn’t sorry. Not one bit. But I figured it was the right thing to say to a person who was going through a break up. "Are you okay?"

  "Andi, baby, I haven't been okay in years," Nate slurred before throwing himself back on my bed. "I'm in a real bad way, girl."

  "Why?" Forc
ing down the sheer delight of hearing him call me baby, I yanked off his left boot before removing the right.

  "I'm off the team," he slurred. "Did you hear that?"

  "I heard about that." But I didn’t understand why. Nate was the best player the Springhill Bobcats had. It didn’t make sense to cut him from the team. In fact, it was practically football suicide for the Bobcats. "I'm really sorry, Nate."

  "It was my choice," he grumbled in a pained tone. "My fucking fault."

  "What's your fault?"

  "My life is going down the drain." He exhaled heavily. "I made some real bad fucking choices and now I'm…trapped."

  "I don’t understand." My heart fluttered nervously. "Are you in some sort of trouble or something?" I hoped he wasn’t. I would die if anything happened to this boy…

  "I'm just in pain, Andi," he mumbled drowsily. "I'm hurting real bad, and it aches." He slapped the palm of his hand against his chest and groaned. "It burns me."

  "What does?" I climbed onto my bed beside him and knelt over his huge frame. "What hurts you, Nate?"

  "Hmm?" Nate's eyes were closed, he was lying perfectly still on my bed, and all I wanted to do was scream 'don’t fall asleep yet!'

  "Nate?" I whispered, daring to cover his hand with mine. "What makes you ache?"

  "You," he mumbled groggily before capturing my hand with his. "Always you."

  I wasn’t so foolish to believe that he actually meant me.

  Nathan was drunk and in a vulnerable position right now.

  But I would be a liar if I said I didn’t lay beside him with a huge smile on my face.

  "You smell so damn good, little spoon," he slurred, pulling me into his arms. "I could keep you forever."

  "I wish you would," I whispered to myself.

  ****

  WHEN I WOKE THE following morning, it was to a bed void of Nathan Cole. In his place was a note.