Disguises

by EM Lynley

  “Ready?”

  Race opened his eyes and met Derrick’s gaze—serious but loving at the same time.

  “Yeah, ready.” Race felt ready, and the fingers had felt so good that he knew Derrick’s cock would feel even better; because it was Derrick, and Derrick was going to be nice and gentle when he made love to him. Race would share everything with Derrick now. Everything Race had to give: his days, his nights, his body, his life, his love. He watched Derrick put the condom on and then move between Race’s legs, spreading him open by pulling a knee out toward the side.

  Race suddenly felt very self-conscious and vulnerable, until Derrick’s gaze met his again. He could see the emotion in his eyes, the raw desire, and all Race wanted to do was let Derrick in and give him anything and everything he wanted.

  “Race, I almost don’t believe this is happening. Twenty-four hours ago I wouldn’t have thought it was possible. Maybe Stella didn’t fuck everything up after all. If it hadn’t been for her, I wouldn’t have told you.”

  “We would have missed out on this, then, so I’m not sorry that Stella ran off with Caitlin.”

  Derrick pressed just the tip of his cock to Race’s hole and started to slide inside. It’s not all that different from the fingers, Race thought. I’m really doing this! Derrick continued to push in very slowly, as if savoring his very first sensation of being inside of Race. From the look on his face—half-closed eyes, biting his lower lip—Race could tell that it was good for Derrick. He loved the way that made him feel… that his body was giving Derrick such pleasure. Race’s eyes widened and he tensed up slightly as the stretch became a burn. Almost instinctively Derrick paused and looked deeply into Race’s eyes with obvious concern.

  “We can stop anytime you want, Race,” Derrick reassured him as he stroked Race’s cheek with the back of his fingers. Race closed his eyes and concentrated on the simple gentle touch and got control of his breathing.

  “No! Don’t stop, just really slowly, please.”

  “You’re sure? I don’t want to hurt you. We can take everything a lot more slowly than this, you know.”

  “I want you,” Race whispered.

  Derrick gazed down into his eyes and Race nodded. Derrick resumed his movements, slowly and gradually filling Race up, but taking his time so that Race never felt any actual pain.

  It was even better than Race ever expected once Derrick was completely inside of him. Race had never felt anything like this, so completely filled up and so desired, with Derrick’s arms around him so tightly. He could smell Derrick’s shampoo and for some reason that made Race even happier.

  Derrick leaned down and captured Race’s mouth in a kiss before he began to move again, very slowly at first, waiting until he could see and feel that Race was okay; then a bit faster—going in all the way on each stroke. He moved Race’s hips around and shifted positions and angles, producing so many different sensations that Race just lay back and enjoyed these brand-new feelings. Derrick kissed Race and caressed his body, while Derrick’s cock continued to do wonderful things inside of him.

  “So… good… Rick.” Race felt his own cock stir again. Derrick took hold of it and stroked him to full hardness with a couple of quick movements. Race bucked his hips again, trying to get Derrick to brush that wonderful spot inside, but also wanting to feel Derrick’s hand on him again. A little drop of sweat trickled down Derrick’s forehead and down to the tip of his nose as he looked down into Race’s eyes. Race looked back, thinking how many thousands of times he’d looked into those hazel eyes, but this time he saw something new—not just the dark want in the wide-blown pupils, but strong emotion. Much more than the reflection of Race’s own feelings; he saw Derrick’s love, and that made Race melt inside that much more.

  “Gonna come again for me, Race?” Derrick’s voice was breathy and deep, like liquid sex.

  “Yeah, oh yeah,” Race started to say, but his words deteriorated into groans and grunts, unintelligible noises that got louder and louder as Derrick pushed into him faster and harder. He felt like he was floating in space, only aware of the feel of Derrick’s fingers caressing the head of his cock and Derrick inside him brushing against his prostate. Then he saw a bright flash, and his body exploded in the most delicious way. He felt the hot, wet splash of his own release across his stomach and chest. His muscles were still squeezing around Derrick’s cock when he heard Derrick’s groans, felt him pumping deep inside, and he opened his eyes so he could watch Derrick’s face. Race had never seen anything as beautiful as the way Derrick looked when he was coming inside of him. Derrick collapsed in a sweaty, helpless heap on Race’s chest, but the weight felt comforting, not heavy or oppressive as they lay together—a layer of sweat and Race’s come slick between them—until their breathing slowed.

  Derrick rolled onto his back and removed the condom, tossing it in a trash can near the bed. Taking some tissues from the night table, Derrick cleaned Race up before pulling him close, Race resting his head on Derrick’s chest.

  “Was that what you were expecting?” Derrick asked him in a throaty whisper. Race looked up at Derrick, at the face he knew almost as well as his own.

  “No,” he said and saw Derrick’s face fall. “It was much better.”

  Derrick smiled and kissed Race for a few minutes.

  “You never did that before, did you?” Derrick asked, sounding amused.

  “Yes, I have.”

  “Before tonight?” Derrick clarified the question.

  “Uh, no… not before tonight. You could tell?”

  “Why did you lie?” Derrick ignored Race’s question.

  “I didn’t think you’d stay unless I did. And I was afraid I’d ruined our friendship by wanting you so much. I hadn’t realized myself that I’d been wanting you for a while now. I just hadn’t understood how deep my feelings for you were, until tonight.” Race reached up to touch Derrick’s face, to run his fingers through the slightly sweat-dampened hair. Race decided he wouldn’t lie to Derrick anymore, ever again. Maybe Derrick had kept the truth about his sexual orientation from him, but Race realized he’d been lying to himself about his feelings for Derrick. He was just as guilty as Derrick of hiding behind a disguise. Keeping secrets had nearly meant they would have missed out on this, on a future together as the closest of friends, as lovers.

  “Tomorrow we need to go back to just being friends,” Derrick told him, his tone serious. “I think it’s for the best.”

  “What?” Race thought he might cry at the thought of that, of never knowing Derrick’s touch like this again. Not now, not after Race finally understood that he loved Derrick. He couldn’t bear the thought that someone else would have Derrick when he couldn’t.

  “Just kidding. I couldn’t possibly give this up, even if I wanted to.” Derrick grinned and pulled Race closer, and they both drifted off to sleep.

  They woke up well before the alarm went off, and Derrick made love to Race again before they took a shower together, where they kissed and cuddled and laughed under the hot water like teenagers. Race didn’t completely understand exactly why and how their friendship had escalated so quickly, but he didn’t care and it seemed as if Derrick didn’t either. It just seemed so right, a natural extension of the feelings they both already had for each other. Race knew he hadn’t made a mistake by giving into his emotions and instincts the night before.

  Race dressed and found a clean shirt for Derrick to wear to the set, so he wouldn’t have to show up in exactly what he’d been wearing the day before. While they waited for the studio car to pick them up, Derrick brought up the subject they had been discussing the night before, with obvious reluctance.

  “I still need to figure out what to do about Stella.” Derrick paced around Race’s living room, fists alternately clenching and relaxing, while Race sat on the couch watching.

  “I honestly don’t see how leaving a network party with two of the hottest chicks there could hurt your image.” Race hoped he could reassure Derrick. He
hated seeing the expression of doubt and concern on Derrick’s face “Having your ‘girlfriend’ run around and get photographed in public kissing another girl isn’t so good,” Derrick reminded him.

  “The press will probably just chalk it up to a little too much partying, and as long as it doesn’t happen again, you could just continue your relationship as before. But I guess you can’t be sure about how she’ll act in public anymore.” Race frowned slightly.

  “I could break up with her and say it’s because of her behavior, but then she could out me just from spite if I did. I’d effectively be outing her if I did it that way.” Derrick made another circuit of the room.

  “Why do you think she’d do that? She’s kept both of your secrets all this time, hasn’t she? Maybe she’s as tired of hiding as you are and she just wants to change the agreement. Sure, she should have talked to you about it before she got Caitlin involved publicly, but I think you probably need to sit down and discuss the future with her honestly and calmly. You’ve been genuine friends all this time, right?” Derrick nodded, and a thoughtful look crossed his face. “And speaking of sitting down: You’re making me nervous the way you’re doing laps around the living room.”

  “I am?” Derrick stopped suddenly. He looked as if he only just realized he’d been pacing.

  Race patted the cushion next to him. “Take a load off and conserve some of that energy for the set.”

  Derrick sat down next to Race and looked a bit more composed.

  Race felt more relaxed too, and he enjoyed having Derrick close to him again, but he tried not to think about that just now. There were far more important issues they both needed to concentrate on. “You don’t want to destroy your friendship with Stella or harm either of your careers, right? So the way you handle this is going to determine how the press and public react to the news.”

  “I hadn’t really considered that. But you’re right. The less drama there is, the more likely it won’t turn into an embarrassing scandal. If either of us does anything hurtful to the other, it’s going to be very bad PR for both of us.” Derrick glanced around the room, his gaze drifting from one piece of furniture to another, as if the idea of remaining still was impossible for him to contemplate.

  “What about waiting a while to break up? Then maybe no one will connect it directly with the party.”

  “Oh, that’s a good plan. I need to talk to Stella about it, but I think she would go along with that.” Derrick sighed. “I was so mad at her I was gonna make her stay at a hotel. But you’ve given me a different perspective on the whole situation. It’s not about me; it’s about both of us, and we need to work through this together.” He leaned over and gave Race a soft kiss. “Thank you for helping me deal with this more rationally.”

  Race felt a wave of something approaching euphoria wash across him as he realized that Derrick needed him as much as he’d come to realize he needed Derrick—not physically, but emotionally, for advice and support. He reached out to gently stroke the back of Derrick’s arm before he replied.

  “Even if you don’t work it out right away, you probably don’t want to ask her to go to a hotel, that’s kind of public. Someone from the press would notice, and you’d have more explaining to do. Let her stay at your place and you can stay here with me.” Race added an inviting smile, thinking about having Derrick all to himself for a few days and nights. He knew their night together had only scratched the surface of new experiences they could share, and he was more than eager to learn more.

  “Thanks, I really appreciate that. Even if I can tell it’s not motivated entirely by altruism.” Derrick leaned over and planted another more insistent kiss on Race’s mouth. A kiss that ended entirely too soon for Race’s liking, but he remembered they were waiting for their ride to the set, so there wasn’t time to get distracted. “How about if you come with me when I talk to her? Then I won’t be alone with her. And you’ll keep me on my best behavior.”

  “I will if you’re sure you want me there, but I think you should have this discussion in private. If I go, it looks like it’s more about us than about you and Stella.”

  “I hadn’t thought about it that way.” Derrick looked thoughtful. “Do you want me to keep it a secret from Stella… about us, I mean?”

  “I think I need some time to process everything that’s happened; so maybe that would be best, at least for the time being. Once you and Stella work things out, you and I will need to decide how to handle this… whatever this is.” Race felt suddenly self-conscious in a way he never had in front of Derrick before. Oh yes, things had definitely changed between them, and they could never go back.

  “Actually, Stella won’t be too surprised when we tell her.”

  “Why not? Does she think I’m gay?” Race realized he actually was gay—well, bi—but it still hadn’t quite sunk in yet.

  “She knows I’ve had a crush on you and that I’d been too afraid to say anything. She’ll be thrilled to know how it worked out and that you were the one who started it.”

  Race felt his face and neck heat up to the point that he would gladly have jumped into a cold shower. He had been the one to start things when he’d admitted to Derrick how excited he’d gotten and that he wanted Derrick. What must Stella—and Derrick—think of him?

  “Hey, you’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about.” Derrick’s smile was warm and reassuring. “You have no idea how glad I am you did.”

  Race quickly changed the topic back to Stella. “So, the plan is for you to go and talk to her tonight after work? And you know… I think I like you better when you’re not on your best behavior.” Race gave a slight wink, and Derrick smiled in return, lifting Race’s spirits. He hated seeing Derrick down in the dumps the way he had been the past two days, stressing about Stella’s behavior and its possible effect on his career. But now that Derrick had a plan on how to deal with her, he seemed much more cheerful. Of course, Race wanted to think that the wonderful night they’d spent together had something to do with the huge smile on Derrick’s face. Race knew he probably had a ridiculously sappy-in-love smile every time he glanced in Derrick’s direction, and he better watch himself on the set, lest any of the cast or crew figure out the direction their friendship had just taken.

  A honk in the street told them the studio car was there. This wasn’t the first time Derrick had stayed overnight at Race’s, so it wasn’t completely unexpected for their driver to find them both climbing into the back of the SUV, therefore they didn’t worry about what the driver might think or say. They would need to decide how to handle their new relationship in public, but that could wait for later. They still hadn’t really discussed much just yet because they’d been too busy exploring each other to think about anything beyond sorting out the Stella situation.

  The day’s shooting went extremely well, with the main problems caused by technical issues and not by distracted actors, which was a relief to the whole crew after the disastrous filming the previous morning. The chemistry between Race and Derrick was better than ever, and their scenes just flowed with very few extra takes needed. The director was thrilled with their progress and gave them an early lunch break. Derrick and Race immediately went to Race’s trailer and were in each other’s arms as soon as the door was locked. They didn’t want to risk being found out just yet so they just lay together on Race’s bed, kissing and holding each other, enjoying the quiet closeness and their new shared secret.

  After they wrapped for the day, they were driven to Race’s where Derrick picked up his car to go back to his own apartment and talk to Stella. They’d decided it was best for Derrick to go alone for this particular conversation. Derrick also didn’t want Stella to know that Race was anything more than a friend until he and Race had discussed their future. Derrick worried that if Stella saw them together now she’d be able to guess the truth. She was always good at picking up on subtleties like that.

  Race waited for Derrick to come back with some clothes, since he’d be staying for
a few days until Stella left town. And many more times after that, Race thought with a mischievous grin. He had plenty of ideas of how to spend the time.

  There was a knock at the door and Race let Derrick in. Before he could close the door, Derrick grabbed him and pushed him against the wall for a hot, needy kiss. The force of it bumped Race against the small table in the hallway, knocking it over, and shattering the lamp that sat there. Fuck, not another lamp! Race thought but not really caring at all as he gave in to Derrick’s ardor. They could go shopping together and buy new lamps that were a bit sturdier than the ones that Race had recently lost.

  They ended up in Race’s bed, naked and hard, devouring each other’s bodies, much more passionate and desperate than they’d been the previous two times. As they lay together afterward, Race was more certain than ever that he’d made the right decision the night before.

  Derrick put some more gel on Race’s welts, which were starting to disappear. As Race lay on his back, Derrick looked into his eyes and traced a fingertip along the bow of his upper lip.

  “Rick,” Race said softly. “I thought Marc Antony was pretty hot. I wouldn’t mind it if he came over and conquered some new territory for the Roman Empire.”

  “That could be arranged.” Derrick laughed and kissed Race again and again. “But I already had some idea of what I wanted to do this weekend.”