‘I’d have been scared witless doing an emergency cricothyroidotomy,’ Megan admitted when the talk moved on to the incident on the rocks and Jess’s former career. ‘I’m in awe at what you did.’
Brianna hugged her again. ‘We all are. You’re amazing, Jess. How far through your training were you?’
‘I’d qualified and had begun a trauma rotation when I was diagnosed. I wanted to be a surgeon but was advised to find another career.’
‘That’s awful,’ Brianna stated.
‘It is,’ Megan agreed. ‘But it explains why you’re so knowledgeable and able to explain things to patients when we don’t have time. Do you miss it?’
‘At first I was devastated. I attended an HIV support group and someone there suggested I think about counselling,’ she told them, sharing things she’d told no one but Gio. ‘I could continue helping people but without physical contact. I enjoy what I do and wouldn’t change it now.’
‘What about Gio?’ Megan asked softly.
‘He wants friendship, that’s all.’ It didn’t become any easier with repetition. ‘I understand why after he lost his wife. And it isn’t as if I have anything to offer him.’
‘Stuff and nonsense!’ Brianna exclaimed, her Irish accent stronger than usual.
It hurt too much to talk about Gio so Jess changed the subject and reflected on the damage the newspaper article might have caused. The nightmare was real, the secret she had guarded was now public knowledge, and she feared the consequences. She was mulling over what to do when Ben returned.
‘I’d rather you had a couple of days off and rested that leg, but sitting at home alone won’t be good for you.’ He frowned, deep in thought. ‘We can look out for you here at the hospital. Just be sensible and don’t over-stretch your side. And keep your foot up as much as possible. I’ve brought you some pain medication. Come and see us if you’re not feeling well or you have problems with the wound.’
Jess took the tablets and smiled. ‘OK. Thanks, Ben, you’ve been wonderful. How’s Lucy?’
‘About to pop!’ he said, making them laugh. ‘She’s fed up and excited. We can’t wait for the baby to arrive.’
Jess noticed Megan’s and Brianna’s smiles dimmed and both had pain in their eyes. She suspected her friends carried secrets and had been hurt in the past, and she wished there was something she could do to help them.
After Ben had given her a hug and final instructions, he returned to work. Megan and Brianna had to do the same but, before leaving, they arranged to meet up for lunch. Before heading to her office and what could be an uncomfortable chat with her boss, Jess changed into the clothes Megan had collected for her and went up to the ward to check on Will, anxious to know how he was. She felt nervous and unsure of the reception she would receive from colleagues and patients.
Driving to the hospital, Gio joined the queue at the traffic lights, his gaze straying to the pavement outside the newsagent’s shop. His heart threatened to stop as he noted the headline on the local paper. Pasted onto a sandwich board for all to see, it shrieked out at him…
HOSPITAL HEROINE HAS HIV!
He swore furiously in Italian. There was little doubt to whom the headline referred. What the hell had been going on while he’d been in Italy? Anxious for Jessica and desperate to find out what lay behind the headline, he waited in frustration as the lights changed and the traffic moved forward then made his way as fast as he could to the hospital.
Dread clutched at him as he parked his car and hurried inside. One of the first people he saw was Ben, who gave him a brief résumé of events and then showed him the newspaper. While he felt deep concern for her well-being and fury at the thoughtless reporter, he was also full of pride at the way Jessica had saved the young man’s life.
‘Thank you for taking such good care of her,’ he said now, shaking Ben’s hand. ‘Where is she?’
‘She left here about five minutes ago and was going to visit Will in Intensive Care before going to her office.’
‘Thanks,’ he repeated.
Ben nodded, holding his gaze. ‘Jess needs you, Gio,’ his friend told him, and he knew he deserved the hint of chastisement that had laced the words.
‘I need her, too,’ he confided, earning himself a smile. ‘I won’t let her down again.’
Determined, he set off to find her.
‘May I sit down?’ Josh asked, taking advantage of the rare opportunity of finding Megan sitting alone in the canteen.
‘OK.’
The agreement was grudging, but at least she had agreed and hadn’t told him to go away. He set down his mug of coffee and pulled up a chair.
She looked at him, a small frown on her face. ‘You look tired.’
‘Is that a polite way of saying rough?’ he teased with a wry smile, running the palm of one hand across his stubbled jaw, intrigued by the flush that brought a wash of colour to her pale cheeks.
‘No, I didn’t mean that.’
‘I’ve just pulled an extra couple of night shifts and needed the caffeine fix before going home for some sleep. I’m back on days tomorrow,’ he explained, savouring the hot, reviving drink.
What he didn’t tell her was that he’d been doing extra shifts to avoid having to go home. Things were becoming more and more untenable with Rebecca and he didn’t know what to do about it. They had grown further apart than ever. He had tried to encourage her to get out of the house, to take up some kind of voluntary work or hobby if she didn’t want to get a job. Anything to give her something else to focus on instead of sitting at home working out ways to try and persuade him to change his mind about having a baby.
He wasn’t going to change his mind. Ever. What he hadn’t told Rebecca was that he had once teetered on the brink of fatherhood—unknowingly and no more willingly as that may have been at the time. He took another drink, his gaze fixed on Megan. Since talking to her and hearing once and for all that her baby had been his, he’d been able to think of little else.
Hearing in words the reality that he had held his tiny, lifeless son in his hands had hit him far harder than he had ever expected. And it had only made him more certain that having a baby with Rebecca was the wrong thing to do in so many ways, for him, for her and, most importantly of all, for any resulting child.
Setting down his mug, he folded his arms and leaned on the table, watching as Megan spread honey on a granary roll. ‘How’s Jess?’
‘A bit sore. Very upset about the newspaper report. That beastly man,’ she growled, echoing his feelings and those of everyone he knew.
‘Poor Jess. No one needs that kind of thing.’ He shook his head. ‘I think people are more stunned at discovering she’s a qualified doctor and saved that boy’s life than anything else.’
Megan licked sticky honey off her finger, a simple gesture but one that nearly stopped his heart and brought a wave of all-too-familiar desire?the same desire he had always felt for her and her alone.
‘Megan…’
‘Don’t, Josh, please. I?’ Her words snapped off, her expression changing as she looked beyond him. He sensed her complete withdrawal, but before he could ask what was wrong, she spoke again. ‘Your wife is here.’
He swore under his breath, looking round and seeing Rebecca standing just inside the entrance of the canteen. As always she looked picture perfect. Expensively dressed, polished, outwardly beautiful… and completely out of place.
‘Megan,’ he began again, returning his attention to her, not at all sure what he wanted to say, still so confused and churned up inside, knowing only that he resented Rebecca’s intrusion.
‘Just go, Josh.’
After a moment of indecision he rose to his feet, spurred into action as Rebecca spotted him and began to close the distance between them. After an inadequate word of farewell, he left Megan and worked his way between the tables towards Rebecca and the exit.
‘What are you doing here?’ he asked, taking her arm to steer her out of the canteen, irritation sh
ooting through him, compounded by the tiredness of two long night shifts.
She made her customary pout. ‘You said the garage wouldn’t have your car ready until this afternoon, so I thought I’d surprise you and pick you up.’
‘I told you there was no need.’
They walked in silence towards the exit. A silence that spoke volumes about the physical, mental and emotional distance between them. They had nothing to speak about, nothing left in common. They didn’t talk any more. He wondered if they ever had. One thing was certain.he could never share with her the jumble of emotions that continued to rage within him about Megan and about Stephen, their lost son.
‘You! Ms Carmichael. Or Dr Carmichael… whatever your name is!’
Leaving Intensive Care after visiting Will, who was making good progress, and having been thanked by his grateful parents who had seen the newspaper report but were just relieved that their son was alive, Jess halted. Her stomach churned as she turned to face the man whose angry voice had bellowed her name.
She’d been overwhelmed by the support she’d received from colleagues, many of whom had made a point of stopping her on her walk from A and E to Intensive Care. Now she was forced to encounter someone who sounded far from friendly.
The man was short and stocky with a ruddy complexion and a receding hairline. His heavy footsteps pounded on the floor as he strode determinedly towards her. Nervous, Jess heard the familiar ping that announced the arrival of one of the lifts, accompanied by the soft whooshing sound as the door opened. Unfortunately the lift was too far away for her to use it as an escape route.
‘It’s outrageous that you are allowed to walk around this hospital so close to vulnerable patients,’ the man stated loudly, making her cringe with embarrassment. ‘I don’t want you anywhere near my wife.’
As the man continued his tirade, his language becoming ever more abusive, Jess was very aware that they were drawing a crowd. People walking the corridors stopped to see what was going on, while others emerged from nearby wards and offices. No one intervened. She was on her own.
Alarmed and humiliated, Jess stepped back, only to find her path blocked as she came up against something solid and strong and warm. Before she could even draw breath and absorb the fact that Gio was really here, one of his arms wrapped around her, across the front of her shoulders, drawing her against his familiar frame, making her feel protected.
‘That is enough, sir.’ Gio didn’t raise his voice and yet his words rang with such authority and steely command that her detractor at once fell silent. ‘You have no business abusing any member of hospital staff at any time, and even less so when your information is wrong and you are speaking from ignorance.’
‘But—’
‘But nothing. Jessica is a highly valued and respected colleague. Her status is no one’s business but her own and she poses absolutely no danger to anyone else,’ he stated firmly, his hold on her tightening as she relaxed into him, drawing on his strength. ‘Yesterday she saved the life of a young man who would have died had she not been there. For her courage and her selflessness she deserves gratitude and praise, not the ill-informed comments and judgemental attitudes of people who do not know what they are talking about.’
Jess remained speechless with amazement as Gio launched into his defence of her, declaring his support of and belief in her. But even when the man who had challenged her had been silenced and walked away by Security, she discovered that Gio had more to say, uncaring of their audience of colleagues, patients and visitors who remained.
‘I am so proud of you, Jessica, and so sorry that I was not here for you when you needed me,’ he declared, gently turning her round and cupping her face in his hands. She stared into intense blue eyes, every part of her shaking. ‘I love you. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you… if you will have me and forgive me for being so stupid this week and letting you down.’
Jess barely heard the gasps of delight and whispered comments from the people around them. All she could see, all she could hear, all she cared about was Gio, the man who had changed her life in such a short time, who believed in her and accepted her and who had just announced his love for her to the world.
‘If I’ll have you?’
She didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry! So she did both. At the same time. He was everything she wanted. All she wanted. After the last few days of pain and uncertainty, thinking she could never have more than his friendship, she could hardly dare to believe this was true. For now, a wave of love and joy swamped the doubts that still lingered within her. Uncaring of where they were, of her painful side and throbbing leg—even of providing more gossip fodder for nosy Rita—she wrapped her arms around his neck, welcoming the instant response as his own arms enclosed her and held her close.
‘I love you, too,’ she managed through her tears.
As he swept her off her feet and into a passionate kiss, she dimly heard the whistles and whoops, the calls of congratulations and the spontaneous round of applause. She kissed him back with equal fervour and with all the emotion, love and thankfulness that swelled her heart.
After what had seemed the longest of days, and when he finally had Jessica to himself, Gio could not banish the flicker of unease that nagged at him. Concerned for her well-being and her injuries, he had brought her home to her cottage and insisted she rest while he cooked them a meal. She had eaten it, but she had grown quieter and quieter as the evening progressed. Now, as she paced the living room, her limp evident, he could bear the suspense no more.
As she passed within reach of his armchair, he caught her hand and drew her down to sit on his lap. A deep sigh escaped her and although she didn’t pull away from him, she was far from relaxed.
‘What is wrong, fiamma?’ he asked, scared that she was having doubts and changing her mind. ‘You are so restless. Talk to me.’
‘I can’t thank you enough for what you did today. It was horrible and I didn’t know what to do.’ For a moment she hesitated, her gaze averted, then she sighed again and looked at him, revealing the shadows in her olive-green eyes. ‘Then you were there and made everything right.’
So why did he suddenly feel that things were now wrong? His heart lurched in fear. ‘Jessica…’
‘I won’t hold you to it. I’ll understand if it was something you said on the spur of the moment because of the circumstances,’ she told him in a rush, her voice shaky.
‘You won’t hold me to what?’ he asked, genuinely puzzled.
Long lashes lowered to mask her expression and her voice dropped to a whisper. ‘Marrying me. You don’t have to.’
‘You don’t want me to?’
‘Yes. No. Not if you don’t want to.’
She frowned in confusion and he felt bad for teasing her, but now he could see to the root of her worries, it felt as if a huge weight had lifted from his shoulders. He understood her doubts. He deserved them after the way he had behaved. But this, he hoped, he could deal with.
‘Look at me.’ He cupped her face with one hand, drawing her gaze to his. ‘It is true I had not planned on asking you to marry me in such a way, with so many people listening. But at the time a public declaration seemed right.’ Uncertainty remained in her eyes. ‘Can you pass me my jacket?’
‘OK.’
He held her steady as, her frown deepening, she reached out to retrieve the jacket of his suit, which he had discarded and left draped over the arm of the adjacent sofa.
‘Thank you.’ With his free hand he checked the pockets until he found what he needed. ‘The timing and the setting may have been unplanned, but I meant every word I said.’
He heard her indrawn gasp of surprise and she looked at him with a mix of warring emotions in her eyes. ‘Gio?’
‘I’m not surprised you doubted me. I deserve that after the terrible way I behaved last week,’ he told her, pressing a finger to her lips to silence her protests. ‘It needs to be said, fiamma. I was wrong. I knew how badly othe
r people had treated you and yet I allowed my own momentary fears to rise up and my withdrawal, timed with my trip to Italy, must have felt like another rejection of you. I am so sorry.’
‘Don’t.’ She caught his hand, their fingers instinctively linking together. ‘I understand. And I don’t blame you.’
‘You should.’
She shook her head, her loose hair shimmering and dancing like living fire. ‘No. You went through so much with Sofia. I knew you were scared of going through anything like that again. And, let’s face it, the odds could be less good with me.’
‘I do not care about odds, Jessica, I care about you,’ he insisted. ‘I never imagined that I could fall in love again, that I would ever know happiness and peace again, but my life changed for the better the moment I met you. Thanks to you I stopped existing and started living again.’
‘Gio,’ she whispered, her eyes bright with unshed tears.
‘Please, I need to say this.’ He drew her hand to his mouth and kissed it. ‘I hate that I hurt you, that my withdrawal left you so lonely and uncertain. You deserved so much more from me and, if you will let me, I’ll spend the rest of our lives proving to you how much I love you and that I’ll never let you down again.’ He paused a moment, sucking in an unsteady breath, his heart thudding against his ribs. ‘I came back from Italy knowing what an idiot I had been and knowing what I wanted and needed to do. Events overtook us, and my plans went awry.’
Eyes wide with disbelief and hope, she bit her lip, her fingers clinging to his. ‘What plans?’ she managed, and he could feel the tremble running through her.
‘My plans to be with you alone, like this, to beg your forgiveness and to ask you properly to be my wife.’ Holding her gaze, he released her hand and reached into his pocket once more, drawing out the box. ‘I bought this in Italy. For you. I meant all I said this morning, I just meant to say it in private! So the timing may have been wrong, but the question was heartfelt and genuine, not something I made up on the spot.’ He placed the little box in her hand. ‘Jessica, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life cherishing you, being your friend and your lover. Please, will you make me the happiest and luckiest of men and marry me?’
St Piran's: Italian Surgeon, Forbidden Bride Page 15
