Her Silent Knight: A Christmas Regency Romance (Belles of Christmas: Frost Fair Book 1)

by Ashtyn Newbold

  Edmund seemed surprised by her offer, but his eyes piqued with curiosity. “Was it you who just called me pompous?”

  She glanced up with a smile. “I did not mean to say the honor . . . I meant . . . the privilege of my company.”

  His dimple flickered in and out. “Well, if I should be so fortunate as to receive an invitation from such a prestigious woman, I ought to accept it.”

  Selina ignored the tug in her stomach, fiddling with her gloves once again. If he knew how much pride she had sacrificed in extending it, he would feel very fortunate indeed. “Very well, Mildred,” she whispered. “I will ensure you are not as bored tomorrow as you were today.”

  Edmund laughed, the sound drowned out by the conversations all around them. “And I will implore you to never call me by that dreadful name again.”

  “I cannot promise you that.” Selina smiled down at her lap, feeling strangely shy. If Mama was right that he was growing attached to her, then it was a cruel thing to encourage him the way her bargain with Mama demanded. He would think his feelings were returned. And he would be wrong.

  Wrong.

  She told herself as much over and over as they headed to the dining room.

  Chapter 11

  Straightening his cravat, Edmund took one last glance at his reflection to ensure there was nothing amiss before heading down the stairs. He had agreed to meet Selina at noon in the library, but he hadn’t the slightest idea of what she had planned for the day. The excitement that barreled through his chest was both thrilling and disconcerting.

  Why was he suddenly so eager to spend the day with Selina?

  When he had first suggested it, he had done so with the sole intent of keeping her from Skinner, but now his motivations were more selfish. He had found her pretty ever since the first time he had seen her at the Frost Fair—ever since they were children, really, though he never would have admitted that to himself. But now she was far more attractive than she had ever been. Her stubbornness, her laughter, the way she never held her tongue, had all become endearing in the strangest way. She was beautiful and vexing at once, and he had yet to decide if he would rather duel her or kiss her.

  He opened the library doors, his gaze falling to where she sat at a table near the window, a nervous smile on her lips. The faint, white light reflecting off the snow illuminated the room just as brightly as the fire burning in the hearth. Selina stood, walking forward to meet him in the middle of the room. She was not nearly as confident approaching him as she had been when they had made the plum pudding. Was it because his efforts were working? He had been so certain before dinner the night before that he was failing, but when she invited him to spend the day with her . . . his confidence was revived. Why else would she wish to spend time with him?

  His own heart picked up speed a little as she approached, and he scolded it for doing so. His plan had been to teach her what love meant, not to experience anything like it himself. What a mess he was making.

  “I didn’t know what to plan for today,” Selina said in a quiet voice, “so I consulted my mother, who, as you know, is an expert at planning a schedule.”

  Edmund studied her bashful smile and clear blue eyes, the innocent expression bringing a smile to his own face. “Will we be cooking again?”

  “Oh, heavens, no.” Selina shook her head fast, her blonde curls swaying. “I would rather run across the frozen river with bare feet.”

  Edmund tipped his head back, laughing. “Come now, it wasn’t so bad. Your cook did all the difficult work.” After they had mixed up the ingredients, the cook had insisted that she be responsible for boiling the pudding and hanging it out to dry. “I daresay she didn’t trust us at all.”

  “I do not blame her for that,” Selina said, pressing her hand to the side of her face.

  “If we aren’t cooking, then are we running across the river with bare feet? I would pay a great deal of money to see you do that.”

  Selina laughed. “Then I might finally be able to afford a souvenir.”

  Edmund watched her cheerful expression and the way the corners of her eyes creased when she wore a genuine smile. If only she knew of her inheritance. If she knew, she would see right through Skinner’s schemes. She did have money coming to her. She would soon be able to afford anything she wished for, and she would never be in a position in which she could not afford a cook.

  “If you were to purchase this souvenir, which would you choose? The Frost Fair doesn’t show any signs of ending soon, you know.”

  Selina shook her head. “It is silly of me, but I have always had a fascination with tigers, and when I saw a miniature tiger statue at the fair, I confess I did want it. But I would be much smarter to purchase something like it when the fair is over, and the price isn’t so high.”

  “Why tigers?” Edmund meant it as a genuine question, but Selina cast her eyes downward with a smile, as if embarrassed.

  “It fascinates me to think that there is an animal like that, much bigger than myself, but much less intelligent, who could destroy me with one swipe of its paw or one movement of its teeth. Something so beautiful roams the earth, yet I will never be able to touch it or be near it without being in danger. They are powerful and fierce and strong, but do they know it? They don’t understand exactly what they are, because they lack the intelligence to perceive it.”

  Edmund listened to the passion behind her description, the excitement in each word. He was reminded of the way his grandmother had often spoken to him of elephants and all the power they held. How Grandmother would have loved to see the elephant that he heard had walked across the River Thames that week. She had always admired that elephants didn’t use their strength to harm as predators did. Edmund had never thought so deeply about animals, but after hearing Selina’s description, now he would. As he thought about it, he realized Selina was much like the tiger she described, and she, too, did not realize it. Strong and fierce. Beautiful, but too dangerous.

  “I think you would have liked to speak with my grandmother,” Edmund said. “She was fascinated with all animals. She was partial to elephants. In fact, the statue you mentioned reminds me of a miniature statue of an elephant she has in her home. Rarely did I see her in her chair in the sitting room without picking it up to examine it for dust.” A pang of sadness struck his chest as he was reminded that he would never see that sight again, nor would he hear her rasped voice calling a servant and demanding that the elephant’s head be dusted for the tenth time.

  Selina smiled, tipping her head to one side. “I can imagine myself doing the same when I am advanced in years.”

  “I too can envision it,” Edmund said, chuckling. “With your husband in a nearby chair reading the paper, tired of you pestering the servants, standing to dust the head of your little tiger himself.”

  He had expected her to smile, but Selina’s brow furrowed as if his words had unsettled her. She likely still assumed that her husband would be Skinner. Did this mean he had succeeded in giving her doubts? Or had something else caused her unease?

  “Oh,” she said, her expression smoothing over. “I meant to tell you what my mother has planned for us today.”

  Edmund nodded, hiding his surprise at her abrupt change of subject.

  “She thought we might be willing to help her sort the old Christmas decorations she has kept throughout the years. She has far more ribbons than she needs, and tomorrow we will be decorating with greenery as well. We are charged with the task of sorting through and finding the ribbons that are torn or have frayed edges. You will likely be just as bored as you were yesterday.” She laughed under her breath.

  “Not at all with your conversation to entertain me.” He met her gaze. “Although I will need your help. I am not skilled in judging the quality of ribbons.”

  “It is quite simple.” Selina started toward the table, pouring the contents of a nearby box onto the surface. What must have been hundreds of strands of ribbon covered the entire table, piling at least two feet
above the surface. Edmund’s eyes widened.

  “And this is the second box,” Selina said. “My mother already sorted the first yesterday.”

  Edmund waited for Selina to sit before taking a seat across from her. He picked up the first ribbon, noting a slight tear on one edge. Selina pointed at the empty box for him to discard it, picking up a ribbon of her own.

  “I have always wondered,” Selina said, “why you came to visit your grandmother so often if you claimed to hate London.”

  Edmund moved quickly through the ribbons, examining each briefly. “I never felt like I belonged in London, but I felt like I belonged in my grandmother’s house. I felt more loved there than anywhere else. It was a sanctuary of sorts, a place where I felt peace.”

  Selina watched him, her eyes boring into his with curiosity. “Was your home not the same?”

  Edmund shook his head. “It was different. There came to be a competitive spirit between my brother and me. He was the one to inherit everything, and it was his favorite topic of conversation. I was envious, and he knew it, so if we ever argued, he gloated about his privilege. My parents focused their attentions on him, their heir, ensuring he had the very best of everything so he would be suited to manage the estate one day. But here, with my grandmother, I was not pushed aside. I wasn’t ignored.”

  He smiled, his heart stinging once again as he thought of the many months he had spent in London with his grandmother. And now she wanted to give Edmund an inheritance, one Skinner could take away at any moment. How could Selina have been so fooled? As he looked across the table at her now, he realized there was nothing he wouldn’t sacrifice to ensure she did not spend her life with such a manipulative man. To ensure she was treasured as she deserved to be. If it came to it, he had to warn her, even if it meant he would lose everything. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself otherwise.

  Selina gave him a soft smile, one that sent a surge of unfamiliar warmth through his heart. He was not accustomed to being comforted. “Surely you were ignored by me many times,” she said.

  Edmund laughed. She always had seemed aloof toward him, but then, he had been aloof too.

  “But I am glad you found such comfort visiting your grandmother,” Selina continued. “Have you been reconciled with your brother?”

  “Yes.” He tossed aside a frayed ribbon. “When I finished school I realized I was happier making a life of my own. Working for it was exactly what I needed. It hadn’t ever occurred to me that what I wanted and what I needed could be two separate things. But once I realized it, the two became intertwined. I wanted hard work as much as I needed it.”

  Selina’s brow creased, and she looked down at the table. “In the most favorable situation, that would be the case—what you want and need both aligning.”

  “I believe that you will come to want anything you truly need.” Edmund smiled. “Because you feel the effects of it changing your life for the better, whether you anticipated it or not.”

  Selina stared at Edmund for a long moment before returning her attention to the ribbons. “When you spoke of your brother and your parents’ treatment of you, I found the story quite familiar.” She wrapped one end of a ribbon around her finger before unwinding it again. “I have always felt that my mother favored my sister over me. My father died several months before I was born. I once heard my mother say how she prayed for a son who would inherit the house to escape the entailment, and when I was born she was disappointed. I feel as if she . . . blames me for losing the estate. I was never given the privileges Rose was given. Any money spent on lessons were for her. Any new fashions were for her. All praise and love were for her.” Selina blinked hard, and Edmund caught sight of a sheen of tears in her eyes. “It is silly, I know, but it did wear on me to feel like such a disappointment. And now I will disappoint my mother again by my own choice, not something out of my control.” She let out a slow breath, as though her confession had removed a visible weight off her shoulders. Her eyes rounded with shock. “Please do not tell anyone I said that. I don’t know why I felt the need to tell you at all. I do love my sister, and my mother, so please do not mistake my words.”

  Edmund shook his head. “Your secrets will always be safe with me, Selina.” He paused, choosing his words carefully. “Do you feel that your decision to marry Mr. Skinner has been influenced by that? If your feelings toward your mother were different, would you still be determined to marry him?”

  Selina’s round eyes stared at him, unblinking, for several seconds before looking away. “Yes, I would still marry him.” Her voice was tentative.

  There was the thing he had been waiting for. Hesitation.

  Snow had begun falling outside the window, and the wind gave a quiet howl as the snowflakes began spiraling wildly, barely visible against the backdrop of the pale grey sky.

  “Oh, drat.” Selina glanced over her shoulder. “Our afternoon activities also included ice skating. The weather will not allow it now.”

  “You should consider yourself fortunate. As you know, I am not graceful on ice.”

  “Nor am I.”

  Edmund smiled. “All these years, I never would have guessed we were so similar.”

  Understanding passed between them with a glance before Selina turned her attention to the window once again. He took the opportunity to study the side of her face. She was obviously troubled. If she had begun to doubt her feelings for Skinner, then he would do all he could to enforce those doubts. There were many reasons he didn’t want Selina to marry Skinner, and one that was becoming apparent was that Edmund didn’t like the idea of her marrying anyone. The thought of any gentleman besides himself making her laugh made his chest tighten with dread . . . and so did the realization that he was well on his way to falling in love with her. Selina Ellis? He never would have thought he could grow so fond of her. He had never met another lady like her, and he doubted he ever would.

  He bit his lower lip as he considered his next course of action. It wasn’t in his nature to give up on something he wanted unless the matter was hopeless. He had never had any hope of inheriting his family’s estate, given that he had an elder brother. But he had hope for Selina. She had invited him to spend the day with her; that must have meant something.

  What could he do? If his efforts to make her realize that what she felt for Skinner was not love would result in Edmund falling in love with her . . . was it worth the cost? His stomach twisted. It was a dangerous game. It seemed Selina was determined not to please her mother.

  And nothing would please Mrs. Ellis more than to see her daughter married to Edmund.

  His face felt suddenly warm as he sorted through all the strange new emotions in his chest. He was afraid, and that was uncommon for him.

  It took him a moment to realize Selina was watching him, her head tipped to one side. “Are you well?”

  He nodded, his throat too dry to speak.

  “If you don’t wish to sort ribbons, you may read a book instead. I’m embarrassed that Mama even gave such a task to a gentleman.”

  Edmund shook his head before finding his voice. “I actually find it enjoyable.” He could be sorting rocks and he would still enjoy sitting across from Selina.

  She smiled, resting one elbow on the table as she picked up another ribbon. With Christmas Eve coming the next day, it occurred to him how little time he had. Skinner would be growing impatient by now, especially since Edmund knew of his plan. Selina’s trust was delicate, and she was still quite defensive on the subject of her betrothed. Edmund couldn’t do anything hasty yet. He had to continue building their friendship and showing her what a true gentleman did when he cared for a lady.

  And he did care for her. Far more than he should.

  Chapter 12

  A fresh layer of snow covered the ground on Christmas Eve, still and quiet, contrary to the storm that had caused it to fall the day before. Selina had gotten out of bed early, overwhelmed by thoughts of Edmund and Noah and the choice looming in front of he
r. Did she have a choice? She had committed to marry Noah, and she was certain that if she had as much time to spend with him as she did with Edmund that she would remember her feelings for him. But at the moment, thoughts of Noah were far less enjoyable to dwell on than thoughts of Edmund. It troubled her enough to keep her from getting any sleep the night before.

  Every Christmas Eve, Mama enlisted all the help she could find to decorate the house with greenery and ribbons. This year was no different. Once Selina and Edmund had finished sorting through the ribbons the day before, they had spent most of the afternoon in the library, talking and laughing about insignificant things that somehow felt significant. Selina hadn’t wanted to leave the drawing room after dinner because it meant their conversation would have to end. She never would have assumed they could be anything resembling friends, but that’s what he was to her now. A friend.

  Only a friend.

  Instilling that thought in her mind had been her mission all night, and that was why she hadn’t slept.

  The thought simply did not want to stick.

  Today, Mama had invited the Perrys to assist in the decorating, as she and Mrs. Perry had been planning their decorations together. Mama had likely gone to a great deal of work to ensure their house would be more thoroughly decorated, and she didn’t want Mrs. Perry to miss that fact. Mama refused to give the task to any servants, claiming that it was her favorite tradition of all.

  A surge of excitement entered Selina’s stomach as she thought of the day ahead. Perhaps Edmund would look at her first when he walked into the drawing room again. If he did, then she might finally have to believe her mother about his attachment.

  She scolded herself as she walked down the stairs, straightening the pendant at her neck. Why should she hope for such a thing? It was cruel of her. She would have to reject him if he carried on like that.