Learning to Dance Again

by Frankie Valente

  Julia took a taxi to a 24-hour supermarket in the hope that she might be able to buy something more suitable to wear. She was freezing and she knew Tony’s surgery would take a few hours.

  He was still in surgery an hour later when she returned wearing a new, rather hideous but warm, quilted jacket, carrying a bag of emergency toiletries and clean underwear.

  She was exhausted and looked around the waiting room for somewhere to lie down. There was a battered looking cushioned bench in the corner so she settled down to rest; although sleep was out of the question.

  Two hours later a nurse came to find her.

  ‘Mr Hugo has come out of surgery now. He’s in the recovery room.’

  ‘Oh, can I go and see him?’

  ‘Ah no; he’s not conscious yet. We’ll let you know when you can see him.’

  ‘Oh please, could I not just see him for a minute? I’m a nurse. I used to work here.’

  The young woman looked blankly at Julia, clearly unimpressed with this news.

  ‘No, I’m sorry. We’ll let you know when you can see him.’

  Julia sighed, feeling even more shattered now. It was nearly five thirty and she was thirsty. She got up and went in search of the vending machines. The hospital had expanded beyond her recognition now. She doubted there was a single person still working here that would remember her from nearly thirty years ago when she had worked in the operating theatres. She bought a cup of coffee and a bar of chocolate and went back to her seat.

  She picked up a magazine from a coffee table and then put it back in disgust when she realised she didn’t have her reading glasses with her, and couldn’t see clearly enough to read.

  Julia sat and stared at the dull green walls of the waiting room and watched people coming in and out, all oblivious to her presence.

  Just as she was about to drift off to sleep, an alarm sounded down the corridor, and a pager went off on the waistband of a passing doctor. Julia watched him glance at the pager and set off quickly towards the sound of the alarm. She sat up straight. She knew from experience that somewhere, just a few feet away from her, somebody’s life was hanging in the balance.

  She stood up and walked over to the window. It was still dark outside, but street lights burned over the car-park. She watched a heavily pregnant woman creep slowly towards the reception holding the arm of a man who carried a small suitcase. They stopped at the edge of the car-park and waited for an ambulance to pass before they crossed over the road, and as they were half way across, the woman paused, bending over in pain.

  The nurse that Julia had spoken to earlier walked back to the waiting room and looked at Julia without smiling.

  ‘Your friend is asking for you.’

  With that she turned, clearly expecting Julia to follow her. Julia picked up her carrier bag and hurried along after the nurse who opened the door of a side room and waited, somewhat impatiently for Julia to catch up.

  ‘Long shift?’ Julia said, trying to empathise with the nurse.

  ‘It always is.’

  The nurse hurried away and left Julia to go inside, where she found Tony lying on a trolley with the guard rails up. His eyes were shut, and his hands were lying motionless at his sides.

  Julia walked over to him and dumped her bag on the floor beside the trolley. She took Tony’s hand in hers, noticing that he seemed cool to the touch. She pulled the blanket up around him. His eyes flickered open, blinking at the glare from the overhead light.

  ‘Hey there,’ Julia said, leaning closer to him, knowing that the after effects of a general anaesthetic would mean he would have trouble focussing.

  ‘Julia?’

  ‘Yes, I’m here. How are you feeling now?’

  ‘What happened? Where are we?’

  ‘We’re in Aberdeen hospital. You had a heart attack, and you’ve just come out of surgery.’

  ‘Surgery?’

  Before Julia could reply she sensed that Tony had drifted off in a morphine induced sleep. Julia let go of his hand and picked up his notes from the foot of the bed, reading them quickly before realising she probably shouldn’t be so nosy. She replaced the clipboard and pulled a chair over to sit beside him. He looked pale under the fluorescent lights, and there were dark shadows under his eyes that she had never noticed before.

  She reached for her handbag and took out her phone and sent texts to Marianne and Cameron. The Up Helly Aa celebrations would continue for another hour, so she didn’t expect a reply from either of them.

  ‘Julia?’

  She put her phone back in her bag and reached for Tony’s hand again.

  ‘I’m still here. I called your son; he’s flying over later.’

  But Tony did not hear, as he slipped back to sleep.

  The nurse came back and told Julia they were taking him up to a ward shortly. She suggested that Julia went home to get some sleep.

  ‘I can’t; I live in Shetland. We flew down in the air ambulance last night.’

  ‘Ah yes, sorry. Why don’t you see if there’s any room at the Shetland hostel. You can ask at patients’ services.’

  Julia stood up and then bent to kiss Tony’s cheek.

  ‘I will come and see you later.’

  Julia left the hospital. She did not want to stay at the hostel, which was used to provide accommodation for islanders waiting for treatment or accompanying sick relatives. She wanted somewhere anonymous and quiet.

  She rang Bryden who had just got up for work and explained what had happened.

  ‘Oh Christ, is he going to be alright now?’

  ‘I’ve no idea, but I can’t go home and leave him here on his own, at least not until his family arrive. I was hoping you might be able to go online quickly and find me a hotel. I really need to sleep for a few hours.’

  ‘Yeah, of course. I’ll do it right now and ring you back. Any preferences?’

  ‘No, it will be hard enough to find a room anywhere in Aberdeen at such short notice.’

  ‘OK, I’ll do my best.’

  Bryden rang her back ten minutes later with the news that there was a room at the Jury’s Inn hotel at a price of £120 per night. Julia walked over to the taxi rank and went straight there; only to find the room wasn’t available until mid-day, but there was a room free immediately for £150. She sighed with frustration, but took it anyway. Within ten minutes of entering the room she was fast asleep.

  She woke four hours later, momentarily unsure where she was. Daylight peeped through the edges of the blackout curtains, and she sat up wondering what time it was. She grabbed her phone and rang the hospital to see how Tony was, and then she slumped back in the bed and read the texts that were waiting on her phone.

  Marianne had written: thank God, been worried sick about you all night. Ring me later xx.

  Cameron had written: glad to hear the good news. See you soon, take care x.

  Julia was too tired to respond to the messages, but she made herself get up and take a shower, in preparation for a return trip to the hospital. She put on some clean clothes and brushed her teeth, and used the hotel’s complementary hand cream in lieu of moisturiser for her face. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked ghastly, but she had nothing other than a lipstick in her handbag to brighten her features.

  She was stopped by a nurse before she got to the ward and interrogated as to who she was. Julia was puzzled for a moment, but the nurse explained there had been a journalist hanging around wanting to speak to anyone connected with Tony.

  ‘A journalist?’ Julia replied.

  ‘Yes. He’s a famous writer isn’t he,’ the nurse said, looking at Julia as if she was stupid.

  ‘I suppose he is.’

  Julia stepped into the relative quiet of the ward and found Tony. He opened his eyes as she approached him.

  ‘Julia! I’m so glad you came back. I thought you must have gone back to Shetland.’

  ‘Don’t be daft. I just went and booked into a hotel and had a bit of a sleep. It was qui
te a tiring night, more than usual for an Up Helly Aa, I can tell you.’

  ‘Sorry about that. I can’t think what I was playing at.’ Tony smiled, as she sat down next to the bed after greeting him with a kiss on his cheek.

  ‘How are you feeling now? You were a bit groggy earlier.’

  ‘I think I’m OK, thanks to you?’

  ‘Thanks to me? I don’t think so; more like thanks to the surgeons who patched you up.’

  ‘I understand that there probably wouldn’t have been much left to patch up if you hadn’t been so quick with your first aid.’

  ‘That was nothing. Someone else helped me too.’

  ‘Well anyway, I’m truly grateful, and I’m very sorry I spoilt your night.’

  ‘Don’t be silly.’

  ‘No really; I was just watching you dancing with your friend Cameron and feeling just a little bit jealous, and then it was lights out. That will teach me.’

  Julia didn’t reply for a moment, as she wasn’t sure whether Tony was being serious, or just flirting again.

  ‘Have you heard when your son and daughter might arrive?’

  ‘Enzo rang a little while ago; he couldn’t get here until tomorrow, and Eleni is too pregnant to travel, so I told them not to bother. It was so expensive, and I’ll be flying home again soon enough. There’s nothing for them to worry about now.’

  ‘Really? I would have thought Enzo at least would still want to come and see you.’

  ‘Oh, he did, but he has exams coming up; I would hate him to miss anything important on my account.’

  Julia shook her head in disbelief.

  ‘Has the doctor said how long you might be in hospital for?’

  ‘He said it depends on how I get on over the next forty eight hours. They want to make sure I don’t get any infection or any complications. But he doesn’t want me to fly back to Italy just yet. I won’t be fit to travel that far for another week or so.’

  ‘As long as that? Will you be able to come back to Shetland though?’

  Tony shrugged, looking a little embarrassed.

  ‘You can stay as long as you like; it’s no bother.’

  He smiled. ‘Thanks; I appreciate it. I might be let out of here by the weekend, if I’m very lucky.’

  ‘I’m sure you will be.’

  22

  Tony was allowed to fly back to Shetland on Friday evening. The hospital booked both them onto the evening flight, and the patient transport ambulance delivered them to the airport. As they sat together in the departure lounge, Julia observed that Tony seemed to have shrunk; not so much in stature, but in his demeanour. He seemed nervous about flying, checking and rechecking his boarding card, and fiddling with his Italian driving licence, the only piece of photo ID he had on him when he was admitted to hospital.

  ‘Won’t be long now. I expect you’ll feel much better sleeping in a real bed tonight.’

  Tony appeared not to be listening to her. He was staring at an advert for Highland Park whisky. Julia gave up trying to make conversation with him.

  ‘I should just fly back to Sicily. This is nonsense. I don’t see why I can’t fly home now.’

  ‘Don’t be silly; Shetland is less than an hour away. It would take three different planes to get you back to Sicily. You need to be a bit more rested before you take that on.’

  ‘But I’m going to be a nuisance for you.’

  ‘No you’re not. Of all the people to be staying with after having surgery, a trained nurse has to be the best. What kind of nuisance do you intend to be? I doubt you’re going to be running around drinking and partying.’

  Tony smiled for the first time since they had left the hospital.

  ‘You’re a good friend,’ he said, touching her arm.

  ‘Exactly; and you were a good friend to me when I came to Sicily. So don’t go making a fuss about staying with me. It really is no bother at all.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  They boarded their flight and less than an hour later they arrived at Sumburgh. This time Julia’s car was not waiting for them in the car park so they had planned to get a taxi back, but waiting for them at the airport was Marianne.

  Julia hugged her gratefully.

  ‘Oh, you didn’t have to do this, but thank you,’ Julia said to her friend as they walked out to her car.

  They walked slowly, on either side of Tony. Marianne put her arm through his.

  ‘Well, I never really got a chance to speak to Tony, so at least this way I get to see him. You did give us a fright; and something to gossip about too. I should warn you it’s in the Shetland Times this week. Famous author is airlifted to hospital after Up Helly Aa gives him a heart attack.’

  ‘Really?’ Julia said, alarmed at the thought.

  ‘Well not quite as dramatically as that. But you could tell the editor thought it was more of an interesting story than the usual goings on. There is a little bit of an insinuation that you two are an item though. So you may need to warn Bryden and Jamie. They’re bound to hear some ridiculous gossip.’

  ‘Ah, well, it was in the Press and Journal too, so they already know. Some horrid young reporter ambushed me in the hospital café and then wrote some stupid piece about me. His angle seemed to be that I was a lonely unemployed widow that had latched onto Tony, hoping to add a bit of glamour and excitement to my life.’

  Tony chuckled and winked at Marianne.

  ‘Glamour and excitement, playing nursemaid to an old man like me. That would take some imagination.’

  Marianne filled them in on the rest of the news, which wasn’t really much at all. She drove them back to Julia’s house, and then left them alone, after extracting a promise that they would come round for Sunday lunch.

  Marianne had been into the house earlier and left a casserole in the fridge, and some fresh bread and milk.

  ‘You have lovely friends,’ Tony said, as Julia took the lid off the casserole dish.

  ‘I do, don’t I? Now, why don’t you go and have a rest, and I will make us something to eat.’

  ‘I’m not really hungry actually. But I could do with an early night. I’ve been looking forward to sleeping without a light on, and some nurse coming in to check my vital signs every couple of hours.’

  Julia laughed. ‘Well you can certainly turn the light off, but don’t count on me not creeping in to see if you’re OK.’

  Tony looked at her in alarm and then realised she was joking. He smiled and then made his way slowly up to the bedroom.

  Julia made herself a cup of tea, relieved to be back in her own home. The hotel had been very nice, but there was nothing like coming home. She sat down on the sofa and switched on her iPad, curious to know what she had missed on Facebook over the last few days.

  It seemed that all she had missed were a series of photographs of Up Helly Aa and some strange comments alluding to her new “relationship.” She didn’t bother to respond, but switched off the iPad and lay back on the sofa feeling exhausted.

  She rang Jamie, only to find he was working and couldn’t speak. She rang Bryden who assured her that although they had heard some of the crazy rumours about her, they knew they were not founded on anything sensible.

  She put the phone down and then sat in blissful silence for a while. She wasn’t hungry either and couldn’t be bothered to make anything to eat. She shut her eyes and was almost falling asleep when her mobile phone bleeped. It was a text from Marianne.

  “I meant to say that Cameron seems to be a bit miffed about you and Tony. Do you think he’s jealous?”

  Julia sighed and shook her head in disbelief. She didn’t know how to reply to that snippet of news so she got up and went to bed, even though it was only just after nine.

  The next morning she woke up late, despite the fact there was a gale blowing outside. Wind and rain battered the window, which made her reluctant to get up. She would have been tempted to turn over and go back to sleep, but for the fact she had a guest to look after. She put her dressing gown on
and tip-toed along the landing to see if she could determine whether Tony was awake yet.

  She tapped on his door. There was no reply, so she turned and walked away, presuming he was still asleep. Then she stopped and listened, and then walked back to the door and leaned in with her ear up to the door. Silence. Julia knocked on the door sharply.

  ‘Tony?’

  When he failed to reply she opened the door, holding her breath with anxiety.

  His bed was made; the room was tidy and he clearly wasn’t in it. Julia sighed with relief and went downstairs to see where he had gone.

  He wasn’t in the lounge or the kitchen. She walked over to the kettle; it was hot, so clearly Tony had been downstairs recently. She could not believe she hadn’t heard him get up. She switched the kettle on again and decided to make herself a cup of tea. She couldn’t imagine where he had gone, since the weather did not invite anyone to go out walking, but she decided she didn’t need to go looking for him; he was obviously feeling well again.

  She took her cup of tea over to the kitchen table and sat down. Rain drizzled down the kitchen window and the clock ticked. It was peaceful. Julia sipped her tea and thought about ringing the boys later. She heard a noise outside and looked up to see a man walking past the window. She dropped her mug in shock, and barely noticed the tea cascading over the table and onto her feet.

  ‘Duncan!’

  Julia stood up suddenly, and then sat down just as quickly, when she realised how stupid she had been.

  She was still sitting with hands covering her face when Tony opened the door and stepped into the kitchen.

  ‘Are you alright, Julia?’ Tony said, as he unzipped the khaki parka he had been wearing, and took off a multi-coloured Fair Isle hat.

  Julia withdrew her hands from her face and stared at Tony. He watched him take off Duncan’s coat; still reeling from the shock of thinking she had seen her husband. Her fingers were trembling and she couldn’t speak.

  Tony laid the coat over the back of another chair. He noticed the spilt tea and reached for the kitchen roll. He pulled off a few sheets of paper and started to mop up the liquid.