A Fragile Design

by Tracie Peterson

  ‘‘Do you think that’s true?’’ Lilly asked.

  ‘‘Possibly. If the girls were Yankees, I imagine the matter would receive more attention. Most townsfolk haven’t given the disappearances much thought, although the mill girls appear concerned. I think they worry such a thing could happen to one of them.’’

  ‘‘Oh, Matthew. How terrible!’’ She clutched the coverlet into her fist and drew the knotted fabric to her chest. ‘‘I know how my heart aches with longing to be united with Lewis’s son. The girls’ parents must be suffering intolerable anguish. Surely there’s some way to help them,’’ she pleaded.

  He pulled her into an embrace, stroking her hair. ‘‘I’ve promised Hugh that I’ll do all in my power to help. I’m going to talk to the police tomorrow, but I want you to promise that you’ll not overly worry yourself.’’

  She tilted her head back and looked into his eyes. ‘‘I promise, Matthew. And while you’re with the police, would you talk to them about Lewis’s boy again? See if there’s anything to report?’’

  ‘‘Yes, dear, I’ll inquire. Now I want you to get some sleep.’’

  Slumber came, followed by dreams—visions of a little boy, a miniature Lewis, lost in a dark abyss, stretching a tiny hand toward hers. She grasped her hand around the pudgy fist, pulling, pulling, until she awakened—exhausted and aching. Aching for Lewis’s child but beginning to lose hope that he would be found.

  CHAPTER 23

  A sharp rapping sounded at the front door, interrupting Addie and Bella’s conversation.

  ‘‘Sit still, Miss Addie, I’ll go. It’s probably another suitor come to call on one of the girls,’’ Bella said, rising from the settee. ‘‘I think Daughtie should be joining us soon. She wanted to finish her laundry first,’’ Bella continued, glancing over her shoulder as she moved toward the front door. There were several girls gathered around the dining room table, and four more were entertaining young men in the parlor. The quietude of Miss Addie’s rooms was a pleasant reprieve from the deafening noise of the weaving room and the chattering of the girls and their beaux.

  Bella’s smile disappeared when she opened the door. ‘‘Taylor! Were you expected this evening?’’

  ‘‘No, but I thought perhaps I’d find you at home,’’ he said, still standing on the step. ‘‘May I come in?’’

  Bella hesitated for a moment, then moved aside. ‘‘I suppose, but I can’t be long. I’m visiting with Miss Addie in her parlor.’’

  ‘‘Oh, good. I was hoping to see Miss Addie. Shall I join the two of you?’’ He didn’t wait for an answer. Instead he moved toward Miss Addie’s living quarters.

  Bella stood staring after him as he waited just inside the parlor door.

  ‘‘Taylor, do come in. What a pleasant surprise,’’ Addie greeted. ‘‘What brings you calling this evening—and what’s happened to Bella?’’

  Bella walked to the doorway. ‘‘I’m right here, Miss Addie.’’

  Miss Addie patted the settee cushion. ‘‘Come sit down. I thought you’d deserted me.’’

  Taylor was leaning against the mantel, oozing charm as he smiled down at Miss Addie.

  ‘‘Why don’t I leave the two of you to visit? I’m sure you’d both enjoy an opportunity for some private conversation,’’ Bella suggested.

  Taylor immediately moved away from the fireplace. ‘‘I think our conversation would be much livelier if you remained. Don’t you agree, Miss Addie?’’

  ‘‘Of course. We have nothing to say that you can’t hear. Now come sit down,’’ Addie insisted.

  ‘‘Have you heard from Uncle John?’’ Taylor inquired as Bella seated herself.

  ‘‘I received a short letter yesterday. He said the journey was tiring and he had hoped for a few days’ rest before beginning his meetings, but that wasn’t the case. He fears his meetings thus far haven’t gone as well as he had hoped. I got the impression he’s very tired and hasn’t had much time to himself. I’m concerned about his health,’’ Addie replied.

  Bella moved closer and took Miss Addie’s hand in her own. ‘‘Perhaps the best thing we could do right now is pray for Mr. Farnsworth.’’

  Taylor jumped up from his chair as though he’d been jabbed by Miss Mintie’s pointed parasol. ‘‘I’m not much on praying. I’ll wait in the other room until you’ve finished,’’ he said, attempting to make a hasty retreat.

  ‘‘Sit down, Taylor,’’ Miss Addie instructed. ‘‘Bella and I will pray after we’ve concluded our visit.’’ The words were spoken in a chiding tone, followed by an unmistakable frown leveled in Bella’s direction.

  Why was Miss Addie upset with her? After all, she was offering to help. Taylor was the one ready to flee from the room without praying for his own uncle. Dismayed, Bella watched Taylor seat himself on the brocade-covered chair close to the door—obviously preparing to bolt and run should Bella once again mention prayer or God. She now wished she had insisted upon leaving when Taylor first arrived. Instead, she was trapped in this room, feeling very much the fool.

  Bella’s gaze was fixed upon her folded hands, half listening as Miss Addie and Taylor discussed Mr. Farnsworth’s whereabouts and the contents of his recent letter.

  ‘‘I was wondering if you’d be interested in a carriage ride tomorrow.’’

  ‘‘Bella?’’

  Miss Addie’s voice drifted through her hazy thoughts, drawing her gaze upward. ‘‘Yes, ma’am?’’

  Miss Addie’s forehead was creased into thin ridges, her eyebrows arched in an upsurge of expectation. ‘‘Were you going to answer Taylor?’’

  Befuddled, she glanced back and forth between Taylor and Miss Addie. ‘‘I’m sorry. Answer what? Apparently I wasn’t listening,’’ she apologized.

  ‘‘Perhaps you should repeat your question, Taylor,’’ Miss Addie prompted.

  ‘‘I was wondering if you would like to accompany me on a carriage ride tomorrow,’’ he said.

  ‘‘After church?’’ She glanced toward Miss Addie. ‘‘I suppose if Miss Addie would like me to accompany her on an outing with you, I’d be willing to come along,’’ she replied.

  Now they were both giving her a dumbfounded look. ‘‘I believe Taylor was inviting you, Bella,’’ Miss Addie replied.

  ‘‘Oh! I don’t think . . .’’ she stammered. ‘‘Unless you’d care to join us, Miss Addie, I don’t believe it would be appropriate for me to accompany Mr. Manning on a carriage ride without a chaperone.’’

  Addie gave her a look of surprise. ‘‘All of the girls go on unaccompanied outings—especially during the daytime hours. And it’s not as though Taylor were a stranger.’’

  ‘‘Exactly right, Miss Addie. Why, in the near future, Miss Addie and I will likely be related. At least I’m sure that’s Uncle John’s desire,’’ he said, giving her a charming smile.

  Miss Addie’s cheeks immediately tinged pink at the comment. ‘‘I think a carriage ride would be a wonderful escape from your daily routine, Bella.’’

  Bella didn’t want to encourage Taylor Manning’s attention. In fact, she preferred to avoid his company completely, but from all appearances, Miss Addie was of a different mindset—and Bella didn’t want to argue.

  ‘‘We can leave immediately after church services. That way I can be home in ample time to complete some unfinished tasks,’’ Bella replied as she glanced toward Miss Addie for a sign of approval.

  Bella sighed in relief as the older woman nodded and smiled her affirmation.

  ‘‘I was thinking later in the day would be more suitable. I have some business for the Mechanics Association and had already made plans to meet with several other members tomorrow afternoon,’’ Taylor replied.

  ‘‘I have an idea,’’ Miss Addie said, her face glowing with excitement. ‘‘Why don’t you pack a light picnic supper, Bella. A picnic near the falls, or some other lovely spot you locate while on your ride, would be restful, and it will be much cooler in the evening.’’

  Tayl
or appeared to be delighted with the idea, his head bobbing up and down in agreement. ‘‘Yes, and that would permit you time to complete your tasks before we leave for our carriage ride.’’

  ‘‘Right!’’ Miss Addie agreed. ‘‘It’s much more relaxing to have your work completed beforehand.’’

  Bella felt as though she were being sucked into a swirling black whirlpool. She could barely breathe, and there was no doubt she had lost control of this conversation.

  ‘‘I’ll be here at five thirty,’’ Taylor said without waiting for further discussion. ‘‘Now, if you ladies will excuse me, I must be on my way as it’s getting rather late.’’

  Bella remained in her chair while Miss Addie rose to escort Taylor to the door. The older woman’s words floated back into the room as she reminded Taylor to speak to Matthew Cheever and told him she looked forward to seeing him in church the next morning. Before bidding him good-night, Miss Addie promised to find some delightful morsels to place in their picnic basket the next day.

  Miss Addie returned to the room, giving Bella a comforting pat on the shoulder as she walked by. ‘‘You and Taylor will have a fine time tomorrow. You do need a bit of relaxation, you know.’’ The words hung in midair—expectantly, longingly, anxiously—awaiting Bella’s confirmation.

  But Bella wasn’t interested in discussing her need for relaxation. She wanted an explanation of Miss Addie’s earlier behavior and she wanted it now. Pushing any doubts aside, she charged forward with her interrogation. ‘‘Why did you appear offended when I offered to pray for Mr. Farnsworth?’’ she quizzed, more anger in her tone than she’d intended.

  Miss Addie appeared to shrink back at her words. ‘‘It’s obvious I’ve hurt your feelings. I’m sorry,’’ she apologized. ‘‘Truth is, I’ve been earnestly praying for Taylor and his relationship—’’

  ‘‘Then why wouldn’t you allow me to pray?’’ Bella interrupted.

  ‘‘Permit me to finish, dear,’’ Miss Addie calmly replied. ‘‘I truly appreciated your offer to pray for John. When we’ve finished talking, I want to do just that—and I hope you’ll join me,’’ she said with a sweet smile. ‘‘However, it appeared Taylor was extremely uncomfortable with your suggestion. I’ve found that forced participation in almost anything can have an adverse effect. Taylor struggles against God—at least that’s what John has told me. Had we continued, I fear we would have appeared sanctimonious. Now, I may be wrong,’’ she concluded.

  ‘‘No. You’re absolutely correct, Miss Addie,’’ Bella replied. ‘‘In all honesty, I wanted him to feel uncomfortable. I’m terribly ashamed of myself,’’ she admitted.

  ‘‘It wasn’t my intent to cause you discomfort, Bella, but since you’ve broached the topic, remember that if Taylor is to be won to the Lord, we need to set an example. Once he sees how wonderful life can be when you have a close relationship with God, he’ll begin asking questions. But if you won’t spend time with Taylor, it’s going to be difficult for you to guide him in the proper direction,’’ Miss Addie instructed.

  ‘‘Me?’’ Bella wasn’t sure she wanted to guide Taylor Manning anywhere, but Miss Addie’s plea was heartfelt. ‘‘Even though I don’t want to go with him tomorrow, I’ll do my best,’’ she told the older woman, not wanting to disappoint her.

  ‘‘Thank you, dear. I think Taylor will be much more apt to listen and learn from someone closer to his own age,’’ Miss Addie said, leaning back in her chair with a sigh. ‘‘You know, Taylor is a very lonely young man. The past troubles him. He lost his mother when he was only seventeen. John tells me that he suffered greatly, eventually turning to John for encouragement when his father became more and more lost in his grief.’’

  Bella thought of her mother’s grief when her father forced the lifestyle of the Shakers upon them. Her mother’s sorrow at being separated from her husband had killed her as sure as anything. As if reading her mind, Miss Addie continued.

  ‘‘Losing his father was equally difficult. But Taylor felt his father really died the day he lost his wife.’’

  ‘‘I saw my mother’s own will to live diminish as my father became more and more devoted to the Shakers,’’ Bella admitted.

  ‘‘Taylor may come across as rather . . .’’ Miss Addie paused, as if thinking for a word.

  ‘‘Crass, rude, bossy?’’ Bella offered.

  Addie smiled. ‘‘I was thinking more along the lines of independent. He tries very hard not to need anyone, John says. I think the loss of John during these days, however, has impacted Taylor more than he’d like to admit. Since coming to America over a year ago, Taylor has had John to keep him company. I hope you’ll do whatever you can to ease his loneliness—for my sake. He seems to genuinely like you, and I think that if you’d allow yourself the luxury, you might very well find him pleasurable company.’’

  ‘‘But I’m not looking for pleasurable company, Miss Addie. I’ve no interest in acting like those girls who are only here to seek out a husband.’’

  ‘‘Then what are you seeking, my dear?’’

  Addie’s question pierced Bella’s heart. What am I seeking? She gave the question some thought for several minutes. The ticking of the clock reminded her that the hour was growing late. ‘‘I don’t know,’’ she finally whispered. ‘‘I suppose I desire to know God better—to better understand His word. I would like to make a comfortable life for myself, and I know for sure it won’t always include working at the mill.’’ She met Addie’s concerned expression. Feeling the weight of the topic, Bella shrugged it off and gave a light laugh. ‘‘I’ll accompany Taylor if it makes you happy, Miss Addie.’’

  ‘‘I think it would be a very charitable thing—a good thing to do. Just don’t tell Taylor you’ve set him up as a charity case. He would be most grieved. Besides, as I said, I think you very well may be able to reach Taylor for God in a way that might have eluded the rest of us.’’

  ‘‘And it will give me an opportunity to further persuade him he needs women on the selection committee of the Mechanics Association,’’ Bella said, giving the older woman a satisfied grin.

  That night, Bella took up her Bible. The last thing in the world she wanted to do was join Taylor for an outing and bear him a Christian witness in her kindness and gentle spirit.

  ‘‘I feel neither kind nor gentle,’’ she murmured, hoping Daughtie, who also was reading her Bible, wouldn’t be disturbed.

  She glanced up momentarily, seeing the other girls in the room content to chatter about their day. Ruth was draping still-damp stockings over the end of their bed while one of the newer girls, Elaine, shared an animated tale of her life in New York City.

  Bella tried to ignore them all and put her mind to reading the Bible. The seventh chapter of Romans led her to a most convicting verse. ‘‘For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.’’

  The good that I should do would be to extend kindness to Taylor, she told herself. But he’s so very smug and self-serving. He irritates me with his manner—or rather his lack of good manners. He isn’t very nice, and he speaks whatever he pleases without giving thought to how the other person might feel.

  A voice spoke to her heart. But you do the same thing.

  The painful truth settled over her. Bella had used her quick wit and ability to speak eloquently to hold many people at arm’s length—but surely no one suffered from this as much as Taylor Manning. She swallowed hard. Her own pride was an equal match to his.

  She snapped the Bible shut with such vehemence that Daughtie and Ruth immediately looked to her as if to question the problem. Bella smiled. ‘‘I didn’t realize it was getting so late.’’

  She put the Bible aside and quickly scooted down into the bed and pulled the covers high.

  ‘‘Good night, ladies,’’ she called out as cheerily as possible while
tears trickled down her cheeks and dampened her pillow.

  CHAPTER 24

  Bella, Ruth, and Daughtie walked in the front door of number 5 after returning from church on Sunday. Miss Addie crooked her finger and beckoned Bella into her parlor. ‘‘Come see me for a minute, Bella,’’ she requested.

  The older woman was carefully removing a decorative pearl stickpin from her hat. ‘‘Taylor was quite disappointed because you weren’t at the Episcopal church this morning,’’ she reported.

  ‘‘Was he? I’m surprised to hear he was in attendance.’’ Bella tilted her head slightly to the side and gave Miss Addie a thoughtful look. ‘‘I was just thinking—this would be the first Sunday he’s been in church since Mr. Farnsworth’s departure, wouldn’t it?’’

  Miss Addie appeared amused by the question. ‘‘I’m not certain. It appears you’ve been maintaining a closer watch on his attendance than I. In any event, I would have enjoyed your company this morning.’’

  ‘‘Had Daughtie and I not promised Ruth we would attend the Methodist services, you know I would have gone with you, Miss Addie.’’

  ‘‘I know, my dear. Now don’t let me hold you back from your chores. I want you to be ready for an enjoyable carriage ride, and you needn’t worry about the food. Since I suggested the picnic, I’ll pack a nice basket for the two of you.’’ She beamed.

  Bella returned the smile. ‘‘That’s kind of you, Miss Addie, but I don’t want you to go to any bother. In fact, some bread and a bit of cheese will be plenty.’’

  Miss Addie pursed her lips and made a soft clucking sound. ‘‘On with you. Take care of your mending or letter writing or whatever it is you must accomplish this afternoon,’’ she said, shooing Bella from the room. ‘‘I’ll tend to the food.’’

  Bella slowly climbed the stairs. As the temperature grew warmer with each step, she became thankful that she wasn’t on the top floor of the house any longer, where the rooms remained intolerably warm all night during the summer months.