A Fragile Design

by Tracie Peterson

  CHAPTER 25

  Taylor knew he would have to find out if Bella had made it back to the boardinghouse safely, but he didn’t want to arouse unnecessary suspicion. It had been too late to go the night before. Besides, he knew if he showed up without Bella and she was still out there somewhere on foot, he’d never hear the end of it from Miss Addie.

  Why had Bella become so annoyed? Surely she could see how giving in to her feelings for him was better than living a lie. His hope had been to push her into accepting that she felt something for him other than disdain. He’d hoped to convince her . . . convince her of what? He wasn’t at all sure. He had to admit there was that prideful side of him that was more than a little bit delighted to have felt her grow yielding in his arms. But there were other feelings that he didn’t understand. He felt guilty for having pushed himself on her—guilty for toying with her emotions. But why? Why did he suddenly feel so vulnerable? Taylor decided he would return Miss Addie’s picnic basket and see what Bella had told her, since he had a bit of time on his hands before the mills would let out for the day. If Bella had told Miss Addie all that had happened, he was certain to get an earful, but at least the girls wouldn’t be around to hear it, as well. And if she had said nothing, then he might get out of this situation without much more than a slap to the face.

  With basket in hand, he knocked on the boardinghouse door. Miss Addie opened the door and for a moment looked at him as though he’d grown wings. ‘‘Taylor! What brings you here? You haven’t had bad news from John, have you?’’

  He breathed a sigh of relief and held up the picnic basket. ‘‘I brought this back. We forgot to return it last night.’’

  ‘‘Oh, do come in and have a cup of tea. I have a bit of time, and you can tell me all about your outing with Bella. I’m afraid she must have been very tired when she came home for she went right to bed without a word.’’

  Taylor followed, after allowing her to take the basket. ‘‘Now, you sit here in the parlor,’’ she told Taylor. ‘‘I’ll just take this to the kitchen and bring back some tea and cookies.’’

  Within a few minutes she was as good as her word. Taylor sat uncomfortably on the edge of the settee, still uncertain as to what he might say about the night before. He certainly couldn’t lie to Miss Addie.

  She smiled and handed him a cup of tea. ‘‘Would you care for sugar or lemon? Cream?’’

  He shook his head. ‘‘This is just fine.’’

  ‘‘I’m glad you came by. I haven’t had any word from John and sometimes I miss him so much. Seeing you is almost as good as having him here.’’

  Taylor took a long drink and tried to think how he might voice his concern about Bella without arousing her suspicions. ‘‘So was . . . ah . . . Bella overly tired today?’’

  Miss Addie laughed. ‘‘She didn’t appear so. She came home for breakfast and dinner with the other girls but said very little. Did you have a pleasant time together?’’

  ‘‘Not exactly,’’ he said, refusing to tell her the truth. ‘‘You know things have never been right between us. She’s hated me since she first laid eyes on me.’’ She especially hates me now, he thought.

  ‘‘I don’t believe she hates you, Taylor, so much as she dislikes your pride and self-assured nature. You must understand—you two are very much alike. You pride yourselves in needing no one . . . God included.’’

  ‘‘Now, Miss Addie, that might be true for me, but Bella is a very godly young woman. She’s always praying and talking of her faith and of what God wants for mankind.’’

  ‘‘Yes, but she has trouble, just as you do, in believing God can be relied upon and truly trusted. You both need to come to an understanding that there is something more than religious notions when it comes to putting your faith in God.’’

  In the silence that followed, Taylor grew most uncomfortable. He finished his tea and got to his feet. ‘‘I should go. I know you’ll need to see to supper soon.’’

  Addie followed him to the door but never tried to stop him. ‘‘Taylor, your Uncle John and I care a great deal about what happens to you. Please understand that you might put the topic of God off for a good long time, but you’ll never be able to put off God himself. He’ll always find a way to reach you.’’

  Taylor nodded, saying nothing more. He took up his hat and hurried down the street. What he’d hoped would be a journey to ease his mind and comfort him had only made matters worse.

  Ruth rushed in the front door, her face flushed with excitement as she skidded to a halt in the parlor. ‘‘Good news, Bella,’’ she announced. ‘‘I saw one of the men who attended our meeting at the church. He said the Mechanics Association voted last night, and the vote was in favor of female representation on the selection committee!’’ she screeched while jumping up and down.

  ‘‘Are we forgetting how proper young ladies behave?’’ Miss Mintie inquired as she poked her head out from Miss Addie’s private parlor.

  ‘‘I’m sorry,’’ Ruth apologized. ‘‘It won’t happen again.’’

  Miss Mintie gave a satisfied nod and disappeared.

  ‘‘Where did she come from?’’ Ruth whispered with a giggle.

  Daughtie pointed toward Miss Addie’s parlor. ‘‘She’s been visiting with Miss Addie for the last hour.’’

  ‘‘Poor Miss Addie,’’ Ruth lamented before quickly changing back to her news. ‘‘Are you surprised? Or had Taylor already told you?’’ she excitedly inquired while dropping onto the chair across from Bella.

  ‘‘I’m very surprised, Ruth. I knew the men were meeting, but I hadn’t heard the results,’’ Bella replied. She forced herself to smile. ‘‘This is going to provide the girls with an excellent opportunity.’’

  ‘‘The girls? You make it sound as though you’re not one of us,’’ Ruth said, giving her a quizzical look.

  ‘‘Of course I’m one of you. I just don’t plan to serve on the committee.’’

  Ruth nodded, seemingly unconvinced. ‘‘I see.’’

  ‘‘We’ll need to arrange a meeting for our own election. I’m sure many of the girls would like to participate,’’ Bella said.

  Ruth appeared to contemplate her words before speaking.

  ‘‘I’m surprised Taylor didn’t come to the house immediately after the voting was concluded.’’

  ‘‘I’m sure he was aware someone would get word to me,’’ Bella hedged.

  Ruth leaned forward, propped one elbow on her knee, and rested her chin on her palm. ‘‘Yes, but you two are . . .’’

  ‘‘Are what?’’ Bella snapped.

  ‘‘Friends?’’ Ruth ventured.

  ‘‘Taylor Manning doesn’t know the meaning of the word friend.’’

  ‘‘I see,’’ Ruth replied, standing up. ‘‘I’m not certain how many of the girls have heard anything. I’m going to Mrs. Des-mond’s boardinghouse to visit Sally and the other girls. I promised I’d let them know if I heard the results. When do you think we’ll have our meeting, Bella? I’m sure I’ll be asked.’’

  ‘‘Next Tuesday evening?’’

  Ruth nodded. ‘‘That should give us plenty of time to get word to all of the girls,’’ she said, tying on her bonnet. ‘‘Maybe Sally or one of the girls will want to go with me to some of the other boardinghouses. We could stop just long enough to tell one of the girls in each house the outcome of the vote and that we’ll be meeting next Tuesday. She could then tell the others in her house.’’

  ‘‘That’s an excellent idea, Ruth,’’ Bella replied.

  Obviously pleased with the compliment, Ruth graced them with a broad smile and waved good-bye.

  ‘‘I believe I’ll go upstairs, Daughtie. I’ve a letter to write,’’ she said.

  ‘‘To Jesse?’’

  Bella nodded. She’d received Jesse’s letter five days ago; he deserved a reply.

  ‘‘You never did tell me what he wrote. Is he happy in Concord? Does he still want to marry you? Or has he decided to return to th
e Society?’’

  Detecting the wistful longing in her last question, Bella took Daughtie’s hand. ‘‘You still want to return, don’t you?’’

  ‘‘Not so much as before. I’m beginning to adjust. But if you tell me you’re going off to Concord to marry Jesse, then I’ll return to Canterbury,’’ she said. ‘‘I wouldn’t want to live in Lowell if you weren’t here.’’

  ‘‘Well, you need not worry. I’ll not be going off to marry Jesse. It seems he’s quite happy in Concord. In fact, he’s going to become a partner in the cooperage where he’s working.’’

  Daughtie folded her hands and stared wideeyedat Bella. ‘‘My! He’s done quite well for himself. Of course, the Brothers always said Jesse was an excellent craftsman, and it appears he’s put his woodworking skills to good use.’’

  ‘‘He’s marrying the cooper’s granddaughter,’’ Bella replied flatly.

  ‘‘What? You’re jesting, right?’’

  ‘‘No, it’s true. He said that after receiving my last letter, he determined he should move forward with his life—without me.’’

  Daughtie gave her a frown. ‘‘What did you say in your last letter?’’

  ‘‘The same thing I told him when he was in Lowell: that I didn’t see any more than friendship in our future. And I told him that if he was in love with the cooper’s granddaughter, he should ask for her hand.’’

  Daughtie appeared aghast. ‘‘Bella! You didn’t.’’

  ‘‘Yes, that’s exactly what I told him. I have no hold on Jesse’s future. If he’s found love with another, he should marry her,’’ Bella replied.

  ‘‘Then why must you write? What remains to be said?’’

  Daughtie inquired.

  ‘‘He told me he would wait to propose until he had my final word on the matter. I must not keep him waiting any longer. It’s unfair.’’

  Daughtie was wringing her hands. ‘‘Are you certain you want to completely dismiss him from your life?’’

  Bella glanced toward Daughtie’s hands. ‘‘I thought you’d broken that habit,’’ she said, touching Daughtie’s hands. ‘‘I can either dismiss Jesse from my life or marry him. Those are my choices. I certainly can’t marry him, so I’ll write and tell him I wish him happiness in his marriage to the cooper’s granddaughter.’’ Bella stood and walked toward the stairs. ‘‘Are you staying down here for a while?’’

  Daughtie nodded. ‘‘Miss Addie’s asked me to assist her in making some needle cases once Miss Mintie leaves.’’

  ‘‘Needle cases?’’

  ‘‘Yes, Miss Addie saw mine and thought it quite lovely. I told her the needle cases were one of the items that the Sisters made and sold in Canterbury. She thought they would make nice gifts for the ladies in her sewing circle.’’

  ‘‘Yes, they will. How very thoughtful of you to help her, Daughtie. I believe I may retire after I finish my letter, so I’ll bid you good-night.’’

  ‘‘Good night, Bella,’’ Daughtie replied.

  Bella climbed the stairs slowly, weighed down by her thoughts of Jesse and Taylor and all that had happened to her since leaving the Shakers. She went to her room, grateful to find it empty. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she reached for her writing paper.

  ‘‘I don’t love Jesse as a wife should love a husband,’’ she whis- pered. ‘‘This is the right thing to do. If I had feelings for him like I have for . . .’’

  She pushed the thought aside. ‘‘No!’’ She jumped up from the bed. ‘‘I won’t have feelings for Taylor. I won’t give in and be just one more of his conquered ninnies. The man I give my heart to will love me in return. Just me. He won’t be given to toying and teasing women. He won’t be heartless and rude.’’

  She straightened her shoulders and drew on all of her reserved strength. ‘‘He won’t be Taylor Manning.’’

  Bella found it impossible to discern whether she was awake or dreaming, certain she’d heard a woman’s screams followed by thumping and slapping noises. She scooted up into a sitting position. Leaning against the wall, Bella strained to listen for further unfamiliar sounds. All was quiet.

  Then there it was again, a thump against the wall and the sound of a woman crying. The muffled words of a man’s angry voice seeped through the walls. He was commanding the woman’s silence. Was Mr. Arnold abusing his wife? Bella could think of no other explanation. After all, the Arnolds’ place and Miss Addie’s boardinghouse shared a common wall. Bella shuddered as she remembered Virginia’s comment the day she’d arrived in the weaving room—Mr. Arnold likes pretty girls, she’d said. And then there were the stories from a year or two ago, allegations that Mr. Arnold had abused his wife. Although unconfirmed, rumor was that Lilly Cheever had played a part in rectifying the situation. Bella decided she wasn’t going to wait until Mrs. Arnold suffered an irreparable injury before bringing the matter to someone’s attention. Besides, if Mr. Arnold was returning to his abusive behavior, he might injure their little daughter. Perhaps Lilly Cheever would be willing to intervene once again.

  Too anxious to sleep, Bella hoped Daughtie and Ruth would forgive her for awakening them. She reached down to arouse the girls but found only Daughtie in the bed.

  ‘‘Ruth’s probably gone out back to the privy,’’ Bella murmured. Quickly deciding she would meet Ruth downstairs, Bella quietly padded across the room and down the steps.

  A short time later Bella returned to the bedroom, the earlier concern for Mrs. Arnold swept from her mind.

  Bella grasped Daughtie’s arm and jostled the limp appendage. ‘‘Daughtie, wake up!’’ Bella whispered as loudly as she dared. Daughtie’s deep breathing continued. Leaning closer to Daughtie’s ear, she again whispered her friend’s name.

  ‘‘What?’’ Daughtie croaked, attempting to turn away. ‘‘I didn’t hear the bell.’’

  ‘‘The bell didn’t ring,’’ Bella whispered. ‘‘Ruth isn’t in bed.’’ She faltered momentarily. ‘‘Did she return home before you came upstairs this evening?’’

  Daughtie rubbed at her eyes while scooting her body upward. ‘‘I don’t remember seeing her. She’s probably gone out back to relieve herself.’’

  ‘‘No!’’ Bella replied while wagging her head back and forth. ‘‘That’s why I’m awake. I was just now outside; she’s not downstairs and she’s not in bed.’’

  ‘‘Do you think we should awaken Miss Addie? I don’t want to get Ruth in trouble for staying out beyond curfew, but she’s never been late before. If she’s in trouble . . .’’ Daughtie’s whispered words trailed off into the darkened room.

  ‘‘She’s beyond merely being late, Daughtie. It’s probably near time to get up, and you know Ruth isn’t one to break the rules. Besides, there’s no earthly reason for her to remain out all night.’’

  ‘‘Perhaps she has a secret gentleman friend,’’ Daughtie offered.

  ‘‘I seriously doubt Ruth could keep from telling us if she had a beau. And even if she did, Ruth wouldn’t likely break the rules. Besides, her plan was to visit the boardinghouses and advise the girls we’d be having an election, but she couldn’t go to any of the houses after ten o’clock.’’

  Daughtie pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. ‘‘I know! Maybe she realized she wouldn’t make it home before curfew and stayed at one of the other houses.’’

  ‘‘Maybe, but I think Ruth would just come home, explain the circumstances to Miss Addie, and take her punishment,’’ Bella replied in a hushed voice.

  ‘‘You’re probably right, but I don’t know what else could have happened to her.’’

  ‘‘I fear something terrible.’’

  ‘‘What could happen?’’ Daughtie asked in a raspy whisper.

  ‘‘She could have disappeared—like those Irish girls we’ve heard about.’’

  ‘‘Oh, Bella, don’t be histrionic. Those girls disappeared from the Acre. There’s never been a problem anywhere else in Lowell. Besides, I heard the girls disappeared
in order to hide the fact that they had shamed their parents.’’

  ‘‘Daughtie! What a vicious story. Who told you such a thing?’’

  Daughtie shrugged her shoulders. ‘‘Some of the girls in the folding room. I don’t know their names, but they said all the Irish girls have loose morals.’’

  ‘‘That’s as preposterous a statement as saying all the Yankee girls have perfect morals.’’

  ‘‘There’s no need to become angry, Bella. I’m merely telling you what I’ve heard. She’s probably fast asleep somewhere while you’re keeping me awake,’’ Daughtie replied as she plumped her pillow and then lay down.

  ‘‘Go back to sleep. I’m going downstairs,’’ Bella replied. ‘‘I think I hear Miss Addie. It must be near time for first bell.’’

  ‘‘Oh no,’’ Daughtie moaned as Bella exited the room and bounded down the steps at breakneck speed. She skidded to a stop only inches before colliding with Miss Addie, who, properly ensconced in a lightweight green-striped wrapper, was making her way toward the kitchen.

  Miss Addie gave her a wideeyedstare, her hand tightly clasped over her heart. ‘‘You nearly frightened the life out of me!’’ the older woman scolded. ‘‘I’m on my way out back,’’ she explained. ‘‘And you?’’

  ‘‘What time is it?’’ Bella quizzed.

  ‘‘Too early to be up scampering about. I think it’s close to three o’clock.’’

  ‘‘May I wait until you come back inside? I need to talk to you.’’

  ‘‘If it can’t wait until morning,’’ Miss Addie replied in a tone that suggested she, too, would prefer sleep rather than conversation.

  ‘‘No, it can’t wait,’’ Bella replied, following Miss Addie through the kitchen. When she reached the back door Miss Addie turned to face Bella. ‘‘You need not follow me to the privy, Bella. I promise I’ll return.’’

  ‘‘I’ll light a fire,’’ Bella remarked.

  Miss Addie’s face sagged at the offer. ‘‘So this is going to be a long conversation?’’

  ‘‘I’m not certain,’’ Bella replied tentatively. ‘‘I thought you might like a cup of tea.’’