A Girl's Guide to Vampires do-1

by Кейти Макалистер

  "Oh, stop it," I told Raphael as we wended our way through the crowds of people patronizing the line of tents. Arielle had a large group in front of hers, I was happy to note. Tanya, grim-faced and hollow-eyed, also had a sizeable crowd in front of her spell-casting booth. "You make it sound like Christian is interested in me in a romantic way, and he's not, he's just being polite. I've never understood why men get so territorial about a woman having a platonic relationship with another man."

  Raphael stopped, pulling Christian and me to a halt as well. "You're serious, aren't you?"

  "About what?" I asked him. "About men acting like boobs around other men? Yes, I'm serious. I've seen it before—"

  "No, not that." His lovely amber gaze shifted until it rested on Christian. "You're serious about thinking he's not interested in you the same way I am, isn't that right?"

  I glanced between the two men, the fingers of my right hand entwined with Raphael's, held strong and safe, my left hand tucked into Christian's arm. "Stop embarrassing me," I said in a low tone to Raphael. "Of course he's not interested in me in that way."

  Raphael kept his eyes on Christian. "Tell her."

  Christian pursed his lips, his gaze holding Raphael's. "In my own good time."

  "Tell her now."

  "Tell me what? Dammit, I hate feeling like everyone else at the party knows a joke and I don't. What does he want you to tell me?" I asked Christian. "I'm not completely stupid. I've dated guys before, I know all the signs one makes when he's looking for a little nookie, and you're not making them, so yes, please, just tell me whatever it is that Mr. Possessive here thinks you need to tell me."

  "Very well," Christian said, placing his hand on top of mine. "If you insist."

  With a move too fast to see, he pulled my hand from Raphael's, wrapped both arms around me, and slammed me up against his chest just as his lips swooped down to capture mine. I stood for a moment in stunned surprise, then realized what he was doing and tried to shove myself off his chest.

  "Let go of her," Raphael growled behind me.

  Christian's arms held solid behind me, not giving an inch when I tried to squirm out of them. I was just starting to get panicky when he suddenly let me go. I stared at Christian in open-mouthed surprise. His eyes were black, solid black as if his pupils had dilated to consume his irises, black and glittering and full of something that made me shiver.

  Raphael pushed in front of me, shoving me behind him as he growled directly into Christian's face. "Touch her again and you'll have to answer to me."

  "Hey!" I said, nudging Raphael in the back. I didn't mind a little bit of a possessive attitude, but he was taking things a bit too far.

  "What's the matter?" Roxy called from behind me, hurrying up. "Everyone is waiting in the main tent. What are you guys lollygagging for?"

  "Hans and Franz here are duking it out."

  "I answer to no man, St. John," Christian said in a silken voice that only magnified the menace inherent in it. "If Joy does not wish to receive my advances, she will tell me."

  "Oooh! They're fighting over you? Cool! I figured it would take a couple more days before things escalated to that point."

  "I'm telling you she doesn't want them," Raphael said, his voice dropping in pitch. While he wasn't as good with the unspoken menacing as Christian, I did not like the way the conversation was heading. It was all very flattering to think that they'd want to mix it up over me, but it was also extremely stupid. There was only one man present I wanted to get to know better.

  "All right, both of you, stop it now," I said, pushing Raphael until I could squeeze between them. He didn't back up at all, which meant I was pressed up against a likewise unmoving Christian. I turned my head to Raphael. "Just so you know, you're standing so close my breasts are pressed up against him."

  Raphael immediately backed up a couple of steps, but took me with him as he did so.

  "Look, this is silly," I appealed to Christian. "I'm very flattered that you want to kiss me and everything, but the truth is that I'm just not quite with you on that. I assumed you knew that Raphael and I are, for lack of a better description, interested in one another."

  "He knows that," Raphael grumbled behind me.

  "So you can both just stop your posturing and growling and pretending I'm nothing more than a mindless, ditzy bit of fluff who will happily walk off with whoever wins this pissing contest, and get back to the job at hand."

  Raphael's hands on my arms tightened painfully as Christian stepped forward, took my hand in his, and turned it over to kiss my palm. It was the same move that Dominic had pulled on me, but Christian didn't leave me with the desire to wash off my hand. "As you have asked, I will not press my suit. Yet."

  "Fine. Now that we're all friends again, can we get these stupid readings over with so I can enjoy the rest of the evening?"

  Christian smiled and tucked my hand back into the crook of his arm. Raphael grumbled to himself, but took my other hand.

  "I feel like I should be singing 'We're Off to See the Wizard,' " I said as we headed for the main tent.

  Neither man laughed, although Roxy, accepting Christian's offer to take his other arm, broke her silence with a comment that she'd like to know what perfume I was using to have three men slobbering over me the minute I arrived in the country.

  "No one is slobbering over me," I told her with a look that promised a much more detailed chastisement in the near future. "You make me sound like nothing but a choice piece of meat. I'd like to just drop the subject, if we could. Did you tell Dominic that I wanted to pick the people I'd read for?"

  "No. I thought you guys were right behind me, not standing in the middle of the fair having a testosterone contest."

  I snickered. Raphael glowered. My snicker died when I got caught up in the snare of his eyes, the heat in them sending a wave of warmth through me that kindled a fiery reaction at several key points of my anatomy. The cheerleaders woke up and started rallying the crowd for the main event. If I had any before, the steamy, seductive look in Raphael's eyes left me in no doubt that tonight he would not be asking me to remove myself from his lap.

  "Hooo," I sighed, and allowed him to hustle me off to the main tent.

  Chapter Eleven

  "No."

  "Come on, Joy."

  "No!"

  "Mon ange—"

  "You call me that one more time, and I swear I'll mon ange you so hard you'll walk funny for a week. And stop slobbering on my hand!"

  "You are distraught, mon ange—"

  "RAPHAEL!"

  "Dominic!"

  "Joyful—"

  "All right, stop it, all of you!" I yanked my hand from Dominic's and glared at the assembled company. "This is starting to resemble a circus. You!" I pointed to Roxy. "Sit. You!" I pointed to Raphael. "Stop flexing your muscles at Christian and watch Dominic. You!" I pointed to Christian. "Stop glaring at Raphael, sit next to Roxy, and keep her in line. Feel free to sit on her if you need to. Now, as for you, Dominic, I want it made perfectly clear that I am doing this against my better judgment, and only because my friend foolishly wagered every cent she has that I would. So I will read the runes for three people, and three people only: Raphael, Christian, and Arielle."

  "No!" Tanya shrieked from where she was sitting sullen and angry behind Dominic. "That is not a fair test. She chooses three people who would lie for her, who would say that whatever she tells them is true!"

  "Oh!" I gasped, outraged. "I would never ask anyone to lie for me, and certainly none of the three people I mentioned would think to do so!"

  "Why not? You have slept with both of the men, and I saw the way you watched my sister. Even an innocent like her is not safe from your lustful appetite!"

  "You witch!" I stormed, jumping up from my chair and heading off the stage to where Tanya sat.

  She leaped up and headed for me. "That's right, I am a witch, and you'd do well to remember that for you I have created a spell most powerful. It will rid us of your u
nwanted presence… permanently!"

  Raphael grabbed my arm and kept me from flinging myself down the three steps to the seats. Milos grabbed Tanya and pulled her backwards, none too gently I was pleased to see.

  "Joie." Dominic oiled over to me and took my hand again, tugging me back to the table he'd set up for the reading. "You make my heart ache when you insist on deranging yourself over such trivial matters. This wager, it is a minor matter, one that is better forgotten when compared to your happiness. I will wave it away and absolve your friend from her responsibility."

  I eyed him warily. "You will? What's the catch?"

  He moved closer to me, his eyelids at half mast as he leaned his head to mine. "If it is within my power to make you happy, mon ange, I will climb the highest mountain to see it so. I will swim the deepest ocean, I will move—"

  "Yeah, yeah, yeah, get to the point. What do you want in return for calling this whole thing off?"

  He leaned close enough to peer down my cleavage. "A night spent in the arms of mon ange is not too much to ask, I think."

  "Think again," I snapped, and turned back to the table.

  He grabbed my hand and hauled me up to his chest.

  "Raphael!" I turned to him with a meaningful glare.

  "Dominic—" he warned with a flash of his amber eyes, starting toward Dominic.

  "Mon ange" Dominic pleaded, one eye on Raphael as he approached.

  "There they go again," Roxy said to Christian. "Kind of like watching an episode of The Waltons, isn't it?"

  He raised his brows at her. She fawned at him.

  "This has gone far enough," Raphael said, pulling my fingers free from Dominic's, massaging the top of my hand with his thumb as he walked me back to my chair. I would have allowed the tingles his touch generated to sweep through my body, but given the present company, I figured it was better to keep all my wits present and accounted for. "Why don't we stop wasting time? Whom do you want her to read for, Dominic?"

  Dominic looked peeved at having his toy taken out of his grasp, but he rubbed his hands together and gave me a leer that all but stripped off my lovely garnet dress. "Myself, of course, Milos, and Tanya. I believe the three of us will offer ample opportunity for Joie to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Tanya's claims are false."

  "No, no, and over my dead body. I don't give a hoot what Tanya claims," I muttered. "The bet was only that I do three readings."

  "I cannot allow her to stain your honor in such a manner." he answered. "Alas, it is my unfortunate duty to remind you that the wager said you would successfully conduct three readings. Thus you not only do the readings, but they must be accurate."

  "You can't get fine accuracy with rune stones," I protested.

  "Within reasonable doubt," he added.

  "Fine," I said, unhappy but without many choices. "But there's no reason I have to read for you three. Arielle is certainly above suspicion of complicity, Christian is neutral, and Raphael is your own employee, for heaven's sake! There can be no objection to my reading for them."

  Evidently there could. Tanya spat a flurry of unintelligible comments to Dominic, who shrugged and turned back to me. "You must read for three fair employees to satisfy Tanya, mon ange," he said with a hint of immovability.

  I debated continuing the argument until I wore him down, but figured I might as well give in and get the blasted thing over with.

  "Fine. I'll read for Raphael, Arielle, and Milos. Happy now?"

  "With one slight adjustment—you will change Milos for Tanya."

  I looked between the cold-eyed Milos and the raging Tanya and gave a mental shrug. One was bound to be as bad as the other. "Fine, but she's last If my reading calls down any acts of God, I want to be able to leave quickly."

  I ignored Dominic's hand and seated myself at the table, grimacing at the showy casting cloth set over the table. I yanked it off and yelled to Roxy, "Give me your red scarf, would you?" She brought it over and I smoothed it out until it lay flat on the table, then looked out at the people assembled. I was at the edge of one corner of the stage, sitting behind a small table, melting under the bright stage lights someone had turned on. Tanya and Milos dragged two chairs from the seating section to join the semicircle of people already sitting in front of me. The irony of the situation—having to prove something I didn't believe in—did not escape me. If this kept up, I'd be like Lewis Carroll's Alice, believing six impossible things before breakfast.

  "Right. I'm ready. Let's have Arielle first."

  Arielle, who had been sitting quietly next to Roxy, gave me a tentative look, shot a quick glance at her sister, and took the chair opposite me.

  I smiled to reassure her. She was clearly ill at ease—that made two of us. "You know the routine, Arielle," I said in a voice that I hoped sounded confident. "I'd like you to think of a question and focus on it."

  She wrung her hands and nodded.

  "Good. In the Odin's Nine layout, the first rune stands for hidden influences on your past, the second for your present attitude on past events, the third for hidden influences on the present, the fourth for your attitude on the present, the fifth on delays or obstacles that may prevent the outcome you seek, the sixth is the outcome or result of your question, and the seventh through ninth stones indicate what you already have, or will need, to influence your past, present, and future respectively. Got all that?"

  She nodded again.

  "OK, here we go." I reached into the bag and started pulling out stones, laying them in the Odin's Nine layout, naming each stone as I did. "Uruz reversed. Raidho reversed. Gebo. Eihwaz. Isa. Sowulo. Nauthiz. Berkana. Pertho."

  She shifted in her seat, eyeing the stones warily. "Since you know how to do this, I'll dispense with the explanations of what each stone means and get right to the juicy parts. The past influences on your question are indecision, impaired personal judgment, burdensome tasks, and low self-confidence."

  She looked a bit startled by my stark appraisal of her past, but didn't disagree. I glanced over at Tanya, who sat smiling smugly at me as if she knew a secret and I didn't. Based on the fact that Arielle might have had a life away from the bad influence of her sister, I figured that so far my reading was dead on.

  "The present influences on your question indicate that you are at a turning point in your life where you are about to enter into a partnership, but feel as if you are pulled in two directions. Be assured that this relationship will be one that flourishes."

  "Oh," she said brightly, looking much more happy at the thought of her present. I mentally crossed my fingers that it would mean she'd find someone who would take her away from Tanya's influence. "That sounds very good. Please go on."

  "The future influences indicate you must shed old habits and relationships gone sour in order to move forward with your life. With this shedding will come clarity and inner peace, the power to achieve what you want most. This last stone"—I tapped Pertho—"is one that says that although there will be obstacles in your path, all roads will lead you to where you want to go."

  I sat back, pleased that the stones were cooperating and not making me look bad in front of everyone.

  "This is ridiculous!" Tanya sputtered, leaping to her feet and pointing at me as she turned to shout at Dominic. "She is not doing the reading correctly! How can we judge if she has at all the powers of the mind?"

  "Arielle," I asked gently. "Would you mind telling us what your question was?"

  She blushed but unexpectedly raised her chin and looked her sister in the eye. "No, I do not mind. My question was about Paal, whether or not he would ask me to join him when he returns to Norway in the spring. Paal was mon petit ami since the last year, you understand, but my sister did not like him and convinced me that he was not true to me. Because of that I separated from him, but now all has been made clear. Tanya was wrong about Paal, and we are no longer separated," she added with a militant look in her eye. "I love him. I wish to be with him, and I will not allow you to drive him from m
e again."

  "Go, Arielle!" I said softly, then louder as Tanya was about to say something scathing to her sister, "So that's impaired judgment and indecision in the past when Tanya was trying to break you up with Paal, a new relationship and turning point in the present, and a future that can be achieved happily only if you shed the sludge from your life." I looked pointedly at Tanya. "Well, that looks like three out of three for Team Joy."

  "Yay!" Roxy cheered.

  Tanya snarled an obscenity and sat down, but not before sending her sister a look that did not bode well for her. Arielle sat as far away from Tanya as she could get. I made a mental note to have a talk with Raphael about watching out for her in the future.

  "Next?" I tipped my head at Raphael. He rolled his eyes upward as if he were praying for patience, but took the seat before me readily enough. Tanya was whispering vehemently in Dominic's ear, but he seemed to be ignoring her. He gave me another one of his pseudo-seductive smiles. I turned my eyes back to much more pleasant viewing.

  "Do you have a question in mind?" I asked.

  "I do," Raphael nodded.

  "Good God, he's already saying his wedding vows and they haven't even been to bed together," Roxy muttered sotto voce, but not nearly sotto enough.

  Raphael quirked his lips at me. I glared at Roxy. "If we could do this without comments from the peanut gallery? Thank you. OK now, Raphael, I want you to concentrate on your question while I draw the stones for you."

  "No!" Tanya inadvertently shouted directly into Dominic's ear. He swore and jumped up, rubbing his ear and firing obscenities at Tanya. She didn't even apologize, she just stalked forward, saying, "That is not equitable! He must first tell someone his question, so it can be determined how accurate your reading is."

  I looked at Raphael. "You have any objections to telling your question to someone?"

  He hesitated for a fraction of a second. "None at all."