Lily's Story: The Complete Saga

by Christine Kersey

  Chapter 3

  Shortly before lunch Scott arrived with his family. His wife, Deena, gave me a warm hug.

  “It’s so good to see you again,” she said as she smiled at me. Then she looked at Natalie, who I held in my arms. “Can I hold her?”

  “Sure.” I handed her over and Deena held her close.

  “Oooh, I just love babies,” she cooed.

  “Uh oh,” Scott said. “Don’t get any ideas now.” I looked at Trevor’s oldest brother and saw a slight resemblance, but remembered that Chris looked more like Trevor than Scott did.

  I smiled at him and was surprised by the friendliness he showed me. Maybe Marcy had been exaggerating a bit.

  He pulled me into a hug, then released me. “It’s been a while.”

  I nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Well, I’m glad you could come.”

  I smiled. “Thanks.”

  Scott went to help his Dad with the barbecue while the kids played in the pool. The temperature was well over a hundred degrees—closer to a hundred and ten—and I decided to keep Natalie in the air-conditioned house. I helped Marcy with the side dishes while Deena held Natalie, and we all chatted companionably.

  Just before the barbecue was ready, Chris and Melody and their two boys arrived. The boys raced out to the pool, but when I saw Chris I nearly gasped. For some reason I hadn’t remembered how much Chris and Trevor looked alike—maybe because when I’d been here before I’d only had eyes for Trevor. But now, seeing Chris, my emotions were in a whirl as memories of Trevor—good and bad—rushed through my mind, and my heartache at all that had happened intensified.

  How I wish Trevor was here now, and we were a happy family.

  I watched as Chris greeted his mother, then hugged Deena. When he completely ignored me, I felt hurt—everyone else had been so kind.

  “You remember Lily, don’t you, Chris?” Marcy said.

  How could he forget me? He probably blames me for Trevor’s death. “Hi.” I smiled, trying to thaw the air that now felt frozen.

  He glanced at me, then looked at his mother. “Where’s Dad and Scott?”

  Marcy frowned. “Outside.”

  He walked past me and out the door to the backyard.

  Melody walked up to me and gave me a hug. “Hi, Lily.”

  I hugged her back, wondering if she felt the same as her husband. Of course it wasn’t her baby brother who had died. “It’s good to see you, Melody.”

  She pulled back and smiled. “You, too.” Then she turned to Deena and held out her arms toward Natalie. “My turn.”

  Deena laughed and handed Natalie over, and the tension in the room dissipated.

  I glanced at Marcy and she looked sad, but I didn’t know what to say, so I kept quiet. A few minutes later John called everyone outside to eat. Deena and I helped Marcy carry out the side dishes, then we all sat around a table with a large shade over it. I looked at Chris and noticed him staring at me, but when our eyes met, he looked away. Sadness and guilt washed over me, but then Natalie started fussing in Melody’s arms.

  I walked over to Melody, who sat next to Chris, and took Natalie from her. As I walked away I heard Chris murmur to Melody, “Why did she have to come anyway?”

  Then I heard Melody shush him.

  I just have to get through today, I told myself. Then I’ll leave first thing in the morning. I sat down and ate as best as I could while holding a baby, and listened to the conversation around me.

  “Let me take her,” Marcy offered halfway through the meal. “I’m finished eating.”

  I handed Natalie off and continued eating.

  “So, Lily,” Scott said.

  I looked at him, my fork halfway to my mouth.

  “Mom tells me you’re considering moving to Vegas.”

  Before I could even answer, Chris shouted, “What?!”

  My face reddened at Chris’s obvious unhappiness with such an idea. I set my fork down. “No, I’m not moving anywhere.”

  “That’s good,” Chris said under his breath, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

  “Chris,” his dad warned.

  “Come on, Dad,” Chris said. “We talked about this. No one wants her living here, reminding us every day of what she did.”

  Melody put her hand on Chris’s shoulder and whispered something to him, but he just pushed her hand away and shook his head.

  Mortified, I pushed back from the table, grabbed Natalie from Marcy’s arms, and rushed inside. I hurried into the room where I’d slept, lay Natalie on the bed, and shoved my things into my suitcase.

  “Not everyone feels like that, Lily.” John stood in the doorway with Marcy by his side.

  I turned and looked at them. I shook my head and continued gathering our things, not able to speak through a throat swollen with unshed tears. Then I slung Natalie’s diaper bag over one shoulder, along with my purse, scooped up my baby, then stood there with my back to the door, knowing I couldn’t carry everything by myself.

  I coughed to clear my throat and turned around to face Trevor’s parents. “I appreciate your hospitality, but it’s time for me to go.”

  Marcy stepped toward me. “Please, don’t leave.”

  I shook my head. “No. I need to go.”

  She must have seen the look of determination on my face, because she stared at me a moment, then nodded. “I understand.”

  “Thank you.”

  She looked at her husband. “John, can you get the suitcase?”

  “Of course.” He grabbed the handle and lifted the bag.

  “May I hold Natalie again?” Marcy asked.

  I let her take Natalie and we walked toward the front door. As we passed through the kitchen, I could hear the conversation outside—someone had left the sliding glass door open—and I clearly heard Chris say, “She’s leaving, huh? Things get too tough, so she just leaves. Typical.”

  I pretended like I didn’t hear and walked to the front door, then out to my car. John helped me load my things into my car, then I took Natalie from Marcy.

  “I hope you’ll come visit again,” Marcy said.

  “Maybe.” John and Marcy had been nothing but kind, so maybe if it was just them it would be okay.

  Marcy pulled me into a hug. When she let me go, John hugged me too. I put Natalie in her car seat and turned back to them. “Bye.”

  They waved and I climbed into the hot car and turned on the engine, turning the air-conditioner on full-blast, then we pulled away from the curb. As we drove away, I glanced in my rear-view mirror and saw Marcy wiping a tear off of her cheek, and felt guilt slice through me that I was leaving so soon. But Chris clearly didn’t want me there and I felt like I was intruding on their family party. It was better if I left, I told myself, and I was just glad I’d decided to drive so that I could leave when I needed to.

  By the time Natalie and I reached home, it was late, but I was thrilled to see my house as I pulled up the gravel driveway. Then I saw Marcus’s jeep parked out front and remembered that, at my insistence, he’d agreed to stay at the house while I was away.

  Natalie stayed asleep as I lifted her from her car seat and carried her to the front door. Just as I reached the door, it opened and I saw a smiling Marcus there to greet me. His welcoming face was just what I needed after the long day I’d had, and I felt warmth toward him surge within me. He held the door open and I walked in. Greta came right to me, but he held her back as my hands were full with Natalie.

  “Let me put her down,” I whispered as I walked past him and toward the stairs. After I put her in her crib, I came back downstairs to talk to Marcus. Greta rushed over to me and I gave her some attention, then looked at Marcus.

  His face clouded with worry. “You’re back a little earlier than I expected. How did it go?”

  I grimaced. “Not so great.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  I looked at the earnest expression on his face, then remembered the way I’d felt when Chris—who looked
so much like Trevor—had announced that they’d all talked about me before, and had decided they really didn’t want me there. I shook my head. “Not really.”

  He smiled in understanding. “Okay.” Then he paused. “Since you’re back there’s no reason for me to stay. Let me just get my things.”

  As much as I enjoyed his company, I was exhausted, so I didn’t try to convince him to stay. “Thank you for taking care of Greta for me.”

  He smiled. “Anytime.” He went upstairs, and I went out to the car to get my suitcase and the diaper bag. I carried my things up to my room and set them on the floor, then watched Marcus as he finished packing his toiletries.

  “Were you able to go see any fireworks tonight?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “It’s not as much fun unless you go with someone you care about.”

  I wasn’t sure if he was implying that he would have liked to go with me, or if he was just speaking generally. Most of the time it was hard to know how he was feeling, which I found frustrating, so I just nodded.

  He zipped his duffel bag closed and tossed it onto his shoulder. “I’d better get going.”

  I followed him downstairs, then to the front door. “Thanks again, Marcus.”

  He smiled at me as he reached for the doorknob. “Anytime.”

  I watched him walk to his car, then locked the door behind him and turned on the alarm. After getting ready for bed, I slipped between the covers and immediately noticed the familiar scent of Marcus. He’d slept in my bed the night before and the unmistakable aroma of his cologne lingered on the pillow. Feeling suddenly lonely, I snuggled into the pillow and breathed his scent.

  Tears filled my eyes as I allowed self-pity to wash over me. My relationship with Marcus didn’t seem to be going anywhere, yet he was my only friend.

  “Wait a minute,” I whispered. “What about Alyssa?”

  I hadn’t talked to my friend from Reno in ages. What was wrong with me? How could I have forgotten about her? I’d been so wrapped up in being a new mom, and then after Trevor died I’d kind of cocooned myself from the world. It was time to break out of that cocoon.

  My tears stopped as a smile spread onto my face. The last time I’d heard from her, she’d been planning her wedding. She’d never emailed me about the date and I hoped I hadn’t missed it. I picked my phone up from my bedside and pulled up my email account, then composed an email.

  Alyssa,

  I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you in forever. So much has happened since I last emailed you! We need to get together and catch up. When is your wedding? Are you at home for the summer?

  Take care!

  Lily

  Feeling better, I set the phone on the nightstand and closed my eyes. Marcus’s scent filled my nostrils, and as I drifted to sleep, his face filled my mind.

  Chapter 4

  After I fed Natalie a breakfast of baby rice cereal, then nursed her, I put her on a large blanket on the floor for tummy time. I’d folded the blanket several times to make it thick and soft since I was placing it on the hardwood floor, and she cooed and giggled as she watched Greta walk around the blanket. Greta knew to stay off the blanket and I smiled as I watched my little family.

  But when I remembered Marcy’s comment on the day I’d arrived in Vegas, about the family’s concern with Greta being around Natalie, I frowned. Greta would never hurt my baby—if anything she was very protective of Natalie and who was around her. And I resented the implication that I was a bad mother for letting my sweet German-Shepard be around my baby girl.

  I pushed the thoughts away. They could think whatever they wanted—when it came to my family, I would do whatever I thought best.

  My phone chimed, indicating an email had arrived. I didn’t get many emails and hoped it was from Alyssa. I tapped the email app on the phone and saw a new email from my friend.

  Lily -

  What a wonderful surprise to hear from you! I’ve been thinking about you these last few days. My wedding is August 14th and we’ve decided to do something kind of wild. A shipboard wedding! I’ve always wanted to visit Alaska, so we decided to take a cruise there and have whatever family and friends come that can, and then get married on the ship! I don’t know if you’d be able to come, especially with such late notice, but I would love, love, love it if you could!

  Let me know as soon as you can as we have to let the cruise people know who’s coming.

  Take care!

  Alyssa

  She’d put the cruise ship information in the email, as well as the specific dates she was going.

  “Wow,” I said to Natalie and Greta. “Wouldn’t that be fun?” I considered the idea of going on a cruise as I absently watched Natalie and Greta. I’d never done anything like a cruise before—the idea had never even crossed my mind—but it sounded like a lot of fun.

  The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to go. I hadn’t seen Alyssa in a long time and it would be a wonderful opportunity for us to catch up. Not only that, but it would be good for me to get away for a while. I’d been so busy learning how to be a mother, as well as focusing on myself after the trauma I’d been through, I felt like going on a trip like this would be a great way to step outside of my normal life—see new places, meet new people.

  I grabbed my laptop and pulled up the website for the cruise company. After a little research I found it was kind of pricey, even if I got an interior room, but oh, how I wanted to go. With the money from the sale of Dad’s house, plus the large amount remaining from his life insurance policy, not to mention the little bit of money I was making by designing and maintaining the website for Billi’s, as well as some other small businesses in town, I could afford this splurge.

  “I’m going to do it,” I said out loud, a wide grin on my face.

  I pulled up the email program on my laptop and replied to Alyssa’s email. As I started writing, it occurred to me that she didn’t know I had a baby. The last time I’d seen her was before Trevor had locked me up, and when I’d seen her last I hadn’t known yet that I was pregnant. And once I’d gone into hiding, I hadn’t told her because I hadn’t wanted to worry her.

  My smile grew as I wrote the email.

  Alyssa,

  I’m so excited for you! That sounds like a blast! And guess what??? I’m going to come!! I’m going to book the cruise right now. I’m super excited to go on this cruise, especially since I’ll be able to see you and meet your fiancé.

  I’ll be bringing a guest with me—but don’t worry, she won’t require anything from you—because she’s only six months old! Yes, I have a baby! Her name is Natalie and she is gorgeous. I have so much to tell you and I can hardly wait until I see you.

  Can’t wait!

  Lily and Natalie

  I pressed Send, and a few minutes later I received a reply from Alyssa.

  Lily,

  I can’t believe you’re a mother! Wow—you do have a lot to tell me and I’m super stoked that you’re coming on this cruise. The wedding is on the third day after we leave Seattle, so that should give us plenty of time to catch up before the wedding and honeymoon. Make sure to bring a pair of binoculars because I understand there’s a good chance you’ll be able to see whales from the ship.

  Anyway, I’ll see you in just a few weeks. Having you there will make my day that much more special!

  Alyssa

  We emailed back a forth a few more times, which just emphasized my desire to go on this trip. I was eager to catch up with her, but we decided we’d wait until we saw each other in person. Next, I went to the cruise website and booked the room that Natalie and I would stay in. As I selected my room and my other choices, I felt my excitement growing. The last year had been so difficult, I really needed this break.

  As I considered the distance to Seattle, I decided I would rather fly than drive, so I booked a flight that would arrive the morning of the departure date. I could hardly believe how quickly I’d made the decision to go and then made the arrangements,
but I was thrilled to have something so fun to look forward to.

  I looked at Natalie and Greta and realized I would have to ask Marcus if he’d be willing to take care of Greta for me again. He’d said he’d be willing to do it anytime and I hoped he’d meant it. I decided to invite him over for dinner and ask him then. Even though I was sure he’d be willing to do it without me giving him dinner, it made me feel better to do something for him in return.

  I called his cell phone and he answered on the second ring.

  “Hello?”

  I smiled when I heard his voice. “Hi, Marcus. This is Lily.”

  “Hey, how are you?”

  “Great. I was wondering if you’d like to come over for dinner tonight.”

  “I have another commitment tonight. Is there another night that would work?”

  “What about tomorrow night?”

  He paused, like he was checking his calendar. “Yeah, that would work.”

  “Great. I’ll see you then.”

  The next night before he arrived, I set the table with the remains of my mother’s china, and created a delicious meal. As I looked over my preparations, I flashed back to the night I had planned to tell Trevor I was pregnant with Natalie. He’d promised to come home by six o’clock for a special dinner, but he hadn’t shown up until nearly one o’clock in the morning, and he’d been drunk. That was the night he pushed me, making me fall over the coffee table and onto the floor. And that was the night I’d first left him.

  I shook my head, trying to dislodge the distressing memories, and instead focused on the happy news I was planning on sharing with Marcus. Right on time, he knocked on the door, and with Natalie in my arms and Greta by my side, I opened the door.

  “Hi, Lily.” His green eyes seemed to sparkle as he smiled.