Lily's Story: The Complete Saga

by Christine Kersey

  I glanced at Cameron, and when he looked at me, I smiled. His blue eyes sparkled and I felt excited at my attraction to him. I wanted to feel attracted to him. After my experience with Trevor and Justin, I wanted to be drawn to a good man who was also drawn to me. I wanted to choose the right man.

  I’d chosen poorly when I’d chosen Trevor—I’d ignored all the warning signs, as well as Alyssa’s guidance. If I’d listened to her and chosen Justin, I wondered where I’d be now. Of course I wouldn’t have Natalie, and I could never regret having her, but would I be happily married if I’d chosen Justin? I would never know.

  Loud music with a strong beat filled the air as we approached the dance club.

  “Are you ready?” Cameron asked, grinning.

  “I guess so.”

  Still holding my hand, he led me inside the room where couples were swaying and dancing to the music. Colorful lights illuminated the room, flashing in time to the beat of the music. The energy in the room was palpable, and Cameron pulled me right onto the dance floor. At first I felt self-conscious as I danced—I hadn’t been dancing in a long time—but after a little while I felt more comfortable and began to have a good time.

  After a few fast songs, a slow song started. Cameron reached toward me and put his hands on my waist. Heart pounding, I put my arms around his neck. His hands slid from my sides, to around my back and he pulled me closer. I hadn’t been held like that since happier times with Trevor, and I felt a mix of emotions—sadness that things had turned sour so quickly with Trevor, and euphoria that I had a chance to start fresh with someone new. I’d been through so much, I would move forward cautiously with anyone I dated, but the possibility of better things to come gave me a feeling of elation.

  Cameron kept one arm securely around my waist, and with his other hand, he gently guided my head to his shoulder. I relished our closeness and willingly rested my head on his shoulder. We slowly swayed to the music and I let myself enjoy the moment, pushing thoughts of everything else out of my mind. When the song ended, Cameron released me and I took a step back. We both smiled.

  “Are you thirsty?” he asked.

  I nodded, and he took my hand and led me to the bar where I asked for a soda. He ordered the same, then we carried them to an empty table. The high volume of the music made it a little difficult to have a conversation, but Cameron moved his chair so our legs were touching and we could hear each other over the music.

  “I don’t know about you, but I’m having a good time,” he said.

  “I am too. I’m glad you invited me.”

  He smiled, and we drank our sodas. “How old are you, Lily?”

  I smiled, having an idea where his question was going. “Twenty-one.”

  He nodded. “Okay. Just curious, but do you not like to drink? I mean, it seems like that’s a favorite pastime of most of the people on the ship.”

  I laughed. “I’ve noticed. But no, I don’t like to drink.” I paused. “What about you?”

  “I like to have a drink now and then, but it’s not a big deal.” He seemed to hesitate. “Do you mind my asking why you don’t drink?”

  “When I was little, my mom was killed by a drunk driver. When I was old enough to understand what that meant, I decided I would stay away from alcohol completely.”

  “I’m sorry about your mom. That’s awful.”

  “Thanks. I don’t really remember her. I was really young when it happened.”

  After a few minutes he held out his hand. “Ready for more?”

  I nodded and took his hand and let him lead me to the dance floor. For the next hour we danced to a mix of slow and fast songs. I liked the slow songs the best, and each time one began, I eagerly went into his arms.

  As midnight approached, I took his hand and pulled him off of the dance floor. “I should probably call it a night. I want to make sure everything is okay with Natalie.”

  “Okay.”

  Holding hands, we headed to my room, and a moment later we were inside. Natalie was sound asleep in her crib, and Haley had fallen asleep on my bed. I gently woke her. “I’m back,” I whispered.

  She opened her eyes and sat up.

  “How did everything go?” I asked.

  “Fine,” she said as she pushed herself off of the bed. “She never woke up.”

  “Good.” I handed her some money. “Thank you for giving up your night for me.”

  She smiled. “It’s okay.”

  I glanced at Cameron and caught him looking at me, and I held back a smile. I wondered if he wanted to kiss me good-night. I knew I wouldn’t be upset if he tried, but it would be awkward for him to with Haley there. I wasn’t about to send her on her own back to her room—it was midnight, after all—and I hoped he wouldn’t ask her to leave either.

  “I can walk you to your room,” he said to Haley, then he looked at me.

  “That’s a good idea,” I said, relieved he felt as I did about her safety. “It’s pretty late.” I paused. “I had fun, Cameron.”

  “See you tomorrow?” he asked, his blue eyes bright.

  I nodded, then I looked at Haley. “Thanks, Haley.”

  She smiled, then followed Cameron out of the room.

  After they left, I made sure Natalie was comfortable, then I got ready for bed. As I tried to fall asleep, I thought about my evening with Cameron. He seemed to like me as much as I was growing to like him, and a smile grew on my face as I fantasized about him pulling me close and then kissing me. My fingers brushed across my lips, imagining what a kiss from him would feel like, and I eagerly anticipated the next day and what it might bring.

  Chapter 12

  The next morning I felt lazy—I wasn’t used to getting to bed so late—and after I took care of Natalie’s needs, I brought her to bed with me so I could doze a little longer. When I finally got up and got ready, it was too late to eat breakfast in the dining room, so I put Natalie in the stroller and we went to the Lido deck to get breakfast from the buffet. I found that many of the same foods were offered at the buffet as were offered in the dining room, and I had a filling breakfast.

  Just as I finished eating, Alyssa and Ty came by.

  “Late night?” Alyssa said, her eyebrow raised as she and Ty slid into the seats across from me.

  I laughed. “How did you know?”

  “Ty’s mom told me Haley got back to the room after midnight.”

  “Oh.”

  Alyssa smiled. “No hope of secrets there.” She paused. “Can I hold Natalie?”

  “Sure.” I took her out of her stroller and handed her across the table to Alyssa.

  “Now, don’t go getting any ideas,” Ty said, eyeing Natalie warily.

  Alyssa laughed.

  Ty looked at me. “What do you think of my buddy, Cameron?”

  I couldn’t hold back a smile. “He’s okay.”

  Ty looked surprised. “Just okay?”

  I laughed. “What do you want me to say? I just met him two days ago.”

  “What’d you guys end up doing last night?” Alyssa asked.

  “We went to a comedy show, then we went dancing.”

  “That sounds like fun,” she said.

  “It was. We had a good time.” I paused. “What do you guys have planned today?”

  “Not a whole lot,” Alyssa said. “The ship’s going to cruise up a fjord today and we’ll be able to see a glacier, so that will be cool.”

  “I’ve never seen a glacier before,” I said.

  “We haven’t either.”

  “Do you know what Cameron will be doing?” I asked, knowing there was no way to be subtle about the question.

  Ty laughed. “No idea.”

  “Why don’t you ask him?” Alyssa said, ever the helpful friend.

  I smirked. “If I see him, I will, but I don’t want to be a stalker.”

  We chatted for a while longer, then Ty stood. “I’m going to check out the casino.”

  Alyssa smiled up at him. “Okay.” Then he leaned dow
n and kissed her. She watched him walk away, then turned back to me. “I’m a lucky girl, Lily.”

  “I like him,” I said. “I’m really happy for you.”

  Her face lit up. “I can’t believe I’m getting married tomorrow.”

  “I know. It’s super exciting.”

  “I just hope the wedding’s not too early for everyone. We wanted to make sure people still had time to get off the ship and do some exploring before we set sail in the afternoon.”

  “I’m sure it will be fine. After all, the only reason we’re all here is for the wedding.”

  “True.”

  Natalie started fussing, so I took her back. Even though I’d been lazy that morning, she’d been awake for several hours. “I think she’s about ready for a nap.”

  “I need to go spend some time with some of my other guests anyway.”

  I frowned, worried. “I hope I’m not monopolizing your time, Alyssa.”

  “Oh no,” she hurried to assure me. “I haven’t seen you in ages, and I’m so thrilled you’re here, I want to spend as much time with you as I can.”

  The warmth of her friendship made me feel loved. “I’ve really missed you, Alyssa.”

  She reached across the table and I put my hand in hers. “I’ve missed you too. It makes me happy to see you happy.”

  “It’s been a crazy year and a half, but I’ve really gotten to know myself, and I’ve discovered I’m stronger than I thought I was.”

  Natalie started fussing more loudly.

  “There’s my hint to get going,” I laughed.

  “Okay. I’ll see you later then.”

  I put Natalie in her stroller and headed back to our room. After putting her down for a nap, I pulled out a book I’d been reading, and settled in for some quiet time. Half an hour later there was a knock on my door. I set my book down and went to the door, expecting it to be Alyssa, but when I saw Cameron, I was pleasantly surprised.

  “Hey, Lily.” His dimple deepened as he smiled.

  “Hi.”

  “Are you busy?”

  “No. Natalie’s asleep so I was just reading.”

  “Do you want some company?”

  “Sure.” I held the door open and he walked in.

  He stopped next to Natalie’s crib and looked down at her, and I wondered what he was thinking. When he looked at me, I motioned to the balcony. I grabbed a light jacket and then the two of us went out the balcony door.

  “Wow,” he said. “Having a balcony is nice.”

  “You don’t have one?” I’d assumed everyone had gotten balcony rooms.

  “No. I was trying to save money, so one of my buddies and I got an interior room.”

  “I considered doing that too, but I figured I might never go on another cruise, so I decided to splurge.” I leaned against the railing and looked at the mountains that lined the fjord, clouds covering the tops. “I’m glad I did. Especially since I’ve ended up spending so much time in my room while Natalie sleeps.”

  “Yeah, that does make a difference.”

  In the background, I heard the naturalist talking over the ship-wide speakers, sharing information about the fjord. I heard her say something about whales. “What did she say about whales?”

  “I think she said she’d tell us if she saw any.” He gazed out over the water. “Did you bring any binoculars?”

  “Yes. Alyssa suggested it.”

  “Maybe you should bring them out here, in case there are any whales in the area.”

  Excitement laced my voice. “Ooooh. That would be so cool.”

  He smiled, obviously amused by my enthusiasm.

  “Don’t you think that would be cool?” I asked.

  “Yes, I do.” His smile grew. “That’s why I want you to get the binoculars.”

  I laughed. “Okay. I’ll be right back.” I went into the room and dug out the binoculars, thrilled that Cameron had come to see me. I carried them back out to the balcony and set them on the tiny table between the chairs. He was still leaning against the balcony, and I joined him. “I’m glad it’s not too cold.”

  “Hopefully we’ll have good weather in the ports we’re visiting,” he said. “Of course, in Alaska, the term ‘good weather’ might have a different meaning than what we’re used to.”

  “That’s for sure,” I said. “But this time of year it should be pretty nice.”

  “Oh, look at that,” Cameron said, pointing to a chunk of ice floating by.

  “It’s so pretty, but I wonder why it’s blue.”

  “It must have broken off of the glacier. Glacial ice is really dense and compacted, and blue is the only color that’s not absorbed.”

  Impressed with his knowledge, I said, “Now how did you know that?”

  He smiled, obviously pleased that I was impressed. “I read up on glaciers a little before the cruise.”

  “Are you always so inquisitive?”

  He thought for a second, then nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Well, I have a question for you.”

  He smiled with confidence. “Shoot.”

  Smiling shyly, I asked, “Why did you come to see me? Don’t you want to spend time with your friends?”

  He tilted his head to one side. “Do you wish I hadn’t come?”

  I could tell by his expression that he was teasing. “I’m happy for the company.”

  He straightened. “Oh, so anyone would do? As long as they keep you company?”

  I paused, like I was considering it. “Mmmm, maybe.” Then I laughed. “No, I’m really glad it was you.”

  “Woo. You had me worried for a minute there.”

  “Wait a minute. You didn’t answer my question.”

  “Oh, I’d hoped you wouldn’t notice that.”

  I raised one eyebrow. “Well, I did. So tell me.”

  “Okay.” He paused. “I can spend time with my friends anytime, but I just met you, and like I told you on the first night, I want to get to know you better.”

  “One other question.” He looked at me expectantly, but I hesitated, worried to bring up the obvious. Finally, I gathered my courage. “Does it bother you that I have a child?”

  Now he hesitated, which worried me. Finally he said, “That’s a fair question, and since we’re being honest, I will admit that I’ve never dated a woman with a child before. Not that I haven’t had the opportunity, but it’s typically something I avoid.”

  I slowly nodded, trying to digest his confession, and wondering what it really meant. “I don’t understand then. Why do you want to get to know me better? Natalie is my world, and if you usually avoid getting involved with women who have children, why are you here?”

  This seemed to stump him. He stared out over the water for a moment, then looked at me. “To be perfectly honest, I don’t know. There’s just something about you that draws me in. Maybe I sense a vulnerability that makes my protective instinct take over, or maybe I just really enjoy your company. I don’t know.”

  I nodded. “Fair enough.” I paused. “It’s just that my heart’s been through a lot of ups and downs lately and I just want to be careful.”

  He ran his fingers through his hair, like he was feeling uncomfortable.

  “I’m sorry, Cameron. We just barely met, and here I am acting like . . . I don’t know.” I paused. “I’m sorry, that’s all.” I faced the water, my face heating with embarrassment. “If you want to leave now, it won’t hurt my feelings.” I waited for him to say good-bye, but instead, I felt his hand on my back. I turned to face him, wondering what he was thinking.

  His eyes seemed to have softened. “It’s okay. You haven’t scared me off yet.”

  I laughed quietly. “Well, that’s good.”

  Just then, the naturalist announced that a humpback whale was on our side of the ship. I grabbed the binoculars from the table and pressed them to my face.

  “Over there, Lily,” Cameron said, pointing to a spot not too far away. “I just saw the spout.”

  I pul
led the binoculars away to see where he was pointing, then looked through them again. “Oh! I see it!” I watched for a few moments, then handed the binoculars to Cameron.

  “Oh, yeah,” he said as he looked through the binoculars. “That’s so cool.”

  “I’m really excited for the whale watching trip in Juneau,” I said. He handed the binoculars back to me and I looked again.

  “I am too. I’ll bet we’ll be able to get even closer to the whales.”

  The whale faded in the distance as we sailed forward, and I set the binoculars on the table. “That was awesome.”

  His grin matched mine, and the mood from our heavy conversation vanished. I looked through the glass wall into my room and saw that Natalie was starting to wake up. “Do you want to come inside with me?”

  He nodded. “Sure.”

  I took his hand and led him into my room. Natalie was sitting up in the crib and held out her arms to me as I approached. “Hey, baby girl,” I murmured as I lifted her. I held her on my hip and turned to Cameron to see what he would do.

  His eyes on her, he tentatively reached out and touched her hand. She looked at him with uncertainty, but didn’t cry, which was good. He smiled at her, and after a moment, she smiled back.

  “Look, she smiled at me,” he said, clearly pleased.

  His pleasure at my child made me happy, and I smiled.

  Apparently feeling more comfortable, he tickled her neck with his fingers. She scrunched her shoulder, then giggled. I watched Cameron’s reaction, and I could tell he was charmed by Natalie. I kissed the other side of her neck and she went into peals of laughter, which made Cameron laugh.

  His gaze met mine. “She is really cute, Lily.”

  My smile widened. “Thanks. She’s a really good baby.”

  A look of uncertainty came over him. “Do you think she’d let me hold her?”

  Surprised, but thrilled with his request, I nodded. “I think so.”