“I do,” I said, mentally adding, Completely.
He smiled, then left. I stood in the doorway and watched him climb into his car, then waved as he backed out of the driveway. An image of Chelsea filled my mind, and I wondered if he would be spending the rest of the day with her. Frowning, I closed the door, then sat on the couch, trying to change my focus to Cameron and the time I would spend with him.
It’s true that I didn’t feel toward him like I did with Marcus, but at least Cameron had a romantic interest in me. I just had to allow myself to let my feelings for him grow, and then everything would be perfect.
Chapter 25
Late that afternoon Cameron knocked on my door. Before answering his knock, I took a deep breath, and slowly released it. I could do this. I could push aside thoughts of Marcus and focus on my budding relationship with Cameron.
I turned the knob and pulled the door open. “Hey, there,” I said, a bright smile on my face.
“Hey, gorgeous.” He held a bouquet of flowers.
His thoughtfulness, added to his words, warmed my heart, and I felt drawn to him. Impulsively, I threw my arms around him. His free arm wrapped around my waist and I felt his strength as his arm tightened protectively around me.
“Thank you, Cameron,” I murmured into his shoulder. “You’re so sweet.” Though tempted to kiss him, I restrained myself, wanting to see how things went before going there. I loosened my arms, and he released me.
“These are for you.” He held out the flowers.
I took them and breathed in their scent. “Thank you. They’re so pretty.”
“For a pretty lady,” he said, smiling.
My voice softened. “Thank you.” Backing up, I said, “Come in.”
He followed me into the kitchen, where I put the flowers in a vase, then filled it with water from the sink faucet. “I’m glad you came down,” I said, setting the vase on the table.
“Can I just say I’m glad we don’t have to look at houses?”
I laughed. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”
“It’s just not my favorite thing to do.”
“Oh yeah? What do you like to do?”
“Hmmm. I like to go on whale-watching expeditions with beautiful women.”
I laughed. “What else?”
He walked over to me and put his hands on my shoulders, and dropped his voice. “I like when you kiss me.”
A thrill raced through me, and without thinking, I slid my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek to his chest. His arms tightened around me and I reveled in his closeness. Yes, he wasn’t Marcus, but the strength of his affection, and the warmth from his body drew me to him like metal to a magnet, powerfully and irresistibly.
“I like hugs too,” he murmured in my hair.
I tilted my face to his, my smile wide and inviting, and he closed his eyes as his mouth descended toward mine. Our lips met and desire tore through me. His arms tightened around me, snugging me close, and our mouths pressed together hungrily.
As we kissed, an image of Marcus passionately kissing Chelsea filled my mind, and jealousy lanced through me. Distracted by thoughts of Marcus, my ardor toward Cameron cooled, and I gently pushed him away. His eyes were filled with desire, but I couldn’t bring myself to kiss him when my mind stubbornly refused to dislodge Marcus from my thoughts.
“I need to check on Natalie,” I said lamely as I turned and walked out of the kitchen and toward the stairs. She’d been asleep for a while, so it wasn’t unreasonable for me to want to look in on her, but I knew that was just an excuse to put some space between myself and Cameron so I could think for a minute.
Shaking my head as I trudged up the stairs, I felt frustration at myself. I needed to make a choice, and soon. It wasn’t fair to Cameron to encourage him when my heart was with another man—even if that man would never be mine.
I walked into Natalie’s room and saw her lying on her back, her fingers curled around her toes, babbling to herself. I smiled, my heart swelling with unconditional love for my daughter, and leaned over her crib. “You’re awake, baby girl.”
Her eyes went to my face and she smiled, filling me with joy. I reached toward her and she held out her arms, and I scooped her up and held her close. “At least I know you’ll always be my sweet Natalie,” I murmured in her ear.
She giggled as my breath tickled her ear and I laughed with her. After changing her diaper, I carried her downstairs and into the kitchen, where Cameron stood next to the counter. He smiled at me, but I could tell he felt a little neglected.
“Sorry. I heard her waking up.” That wasn’t true, and I think he knew it, but he didn’t comment. I set her in her high chair and went to the cupboard to get a jar of baby food. After opening the lid, I held it out to Cameron. “Do you want to feed her?”
His eyes widened. “Uh. I guess?”
I smiled, pleased that he was making an effort. He took the jar and spoon from me, then sat in the chair across from Natalie.
“Just put a little bit on the spoon,” I said.
He glanced at me and nodded, then scooped out a small amount of pureed carrots. He moved the spoon toward her lips, and she opened her mouth and accepted the food. He looked up at me and laughed. “I guess she knows what to do.”
I nodded. “Yes. She’s a good eater.”
He gave her another bite and quickly seemed to get the hang of it. “This is actually pretty easy.”
Just then, Natalie pressed her lips together and the last mouthful oozed out onto her chin.
“You spoke too soon,” I said, trying to hold back a laugh.
He stared at her, obviously not sure what to do. I took the spoon from his hand and expertly cleaned off her face, and she opened her mouth to accept the food I placed in her mouth.
“You’re really good at this,” he said, obviously impressed.
“I’ve had some practice.” She spit out the next bite and I set the nearly empty jar on the counter. “I think she’s had enough of the carrots.” I wiped her face, then lifted her from the high chair and held her out to Cameron. “Can you hold her while I fix a bottle?”
“Uh, okay.” He took her with some reluctance, and she stared at him as she sat on his lap.
I smiled to myself as I went into the kitchen to fix a bottle of formula. My breast milk hadn’t been filling Natalie, so I’d resorted to giving her supplemental formula. It only took a moment to have her bottle ready, and I handed it to Cameron to see what he’d do.
He looked at me with one eyebrow raised.
I nodded. I was delighted to see how he managed to hold Natalie in the crook of one arm and put the bottle in her mouth with his free hand. Natalie wrapped her tiny hands around the bottle and happily drank her formula.
“I guess she likes this,” Cameron said, obviously proud of his success.
“Yes, she does.”
He held her until she’d finished the bottle, then he looked uncertain about what to do next.
“I’ll take her,” I offered, and he handed her over. I smiled at him, happy he’d been willing to feed her, but I wondered how he really felt about it. Had he just been trying to please me, or had he enjoyed the process? “Do you want to go outside?” I asked.
“Sure. It’s nice today.”
I walked toward the back door and pulled out the plastic barrier from the dog door that had kept Greta from coming in. She burst through the opening and went directly to Cameron, thoroughly sniffing him. To Cameron’s credit, he scratched her head and stroked her body, winning him points with both Greta and me.
“She seems to like you,” I said.
“She’s a pretty dog,” he said, gazing at Greta’s face.
“I think so too. And she’s very sweet with Natalie.” I opened the door to the backyard and Cameron walked outside with me, then I closed the door. Greta came through her door a moment later.
Cameron gazed out over the yard. “It’s nice out here.” He looked at me. “What’s the backyard like at your new place?�
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I frowned. “It needs some work.” I paused. “It has potential though.”
“It’s worth it then, don’t you think?”
I nodded. “I hope so. Hey, do you want something to drink? I made lemonade earlier.”
“Sure,” he said.
I grinned. “Will you hold Natalie for a second?”
He took her from me and seemed like he was getting more comfortable with her.
I went into the house and fixed two glasses of lemonade, then carried them outside and set them on the small table I’d recently gotten. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” He held Natalie out to me and I took her and held her on my lap.
We chatted for a while and I really enjoyed his company.
As the evening wore on, I couldn’t help but think about the party that was taking place next door. Had Marcus been surprised? Had he noticed that I wasn’t there? Did he care? Forcing thoughts of Marcus out of my head, I smiled at Cameron. “I think I should put dinner in the oven. You must be starved by now.”
“I could eat.”
“Well, lucky for you, I made the casserole earlier, so I just need to heat it up. But I also want to make a salad.” I stood to go inside.
“Do you need any help?” he asked, standing as well.
“No, but you can come talk to me.”
He smiled. “Sure.”
I put Natalie in her swing, and after dinner was ready, we carried the food outside and set it on the table. Natalie had fallen asleep in her swing, so I left her there while we ate. Greta stretched out on the grass, soaking up the last rays of the sun.
Half an hour later Greta leapt up from the grass and ran through the doggie door and into the house.
“What in the world?” I asked, surprised.
Cameron looked at me with a question on his face.
A moment later I heard my back door opening. Startled, I jerked my head to the door, and when I saw Marcus pushing it open, with Natalie in his arms, I nearly gasped. What is he doing here?And why is he holding Natalie?
Marcus’s gaze went directly to Cameron and I knew he must have seen him through the window before opening the door. I watched several emotions work their way across his features before his gaze settled on me.
“Hi, Marcus,” I said, standing. “What’s going on?”
“I stopped by and no one answered the door, but I heard Natalie crying, so I came in.” His gaze flicked to Cameron before coming back to me. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
I reached for Natalie. “I didn’t hear her crying.” He handed her to me. We stood there for a moment in uncomfortable silence, then I motioned toward Cameron. “Marcus, this is Cameron. I met him on the cruise.” I didn’t know why I felt the need to point that out.
Marcus stepped toward Cameron and they shook hands. “Nice to meet you,” Marcus said.
Cameron nodded, but seemed unsure what to do about the man who was obviously familiar with me and my child—comfortable enough to just walk in and pick her up.
“Well, I’ll get back to my parents’ house,” Marcus said, focusing on me.
“Okay. See you later.”
Marcus smiled at me and nodded, and left through the gate without acknowledging Cameron. I looked at Cameron with uncertainty, wondering what he must be thinking. He gazed back, confusion clear on his face.
I motioned vaguely toward the gate. “His parents live next door.” As if that explained everything.
“Does he just stop by like that often?”
“Um, sometimes.” I sat in the chair across from Cameron. “But I’ve always answered before.”
Cameron was quiet, like he was trying to put together the pieces of a challenging puzzle. Finally, he nodded. “Dinner was delicious, Lily.”
“Thanks.”
He pushed his chair back and stood. “I’d better get going.”
Alarmed that I would never see him again, I blurted, “Marcus is just a friend.”
His lips compressed. “Sure.”
Confused about why he doubted me, I kept my mouth closed. Had my reaction to Marcus’s presence given away my true feelings? I thought I’d kept my expression neutral—besides the surprise I’d had that he’d walked in, of course.
Cameron walked toward the kitchen door. “Thanks for an enjoyable evening.”
“Do you really have to go?”
He clenched his jaw. “Yeah. I do.”
I felt any possibility of a future with him slipping away, but felt helpless to stop it, as helpless as I felt when it came to making Marcus fall in love with me. “Well, thanks for driving down.”
He nodded and walked into the house. I followed him to the front door, but stopped on the threshold. He turned to me, a sad smile on his face. He paused, like he was going to say something, then shook his head and walked to his car.
I watched him drive off, then stood on the porch, stunned by how the evening had ended so abruptly. A breeze brushed across my face, and carried with it was the sound of people singing happy birthday at the house next door. I turned my face in that direction, but couldn’t see anything, although once the song ended, I heard applause echoing in the night.
I turned and went into my house and closed and locked the door behind me as tears filled my eyes and trickled down my face. Feeling very alone, I carried Natalie into the kitchen where I fed her dinner, then I carried her upstairs and put her to bed. I went into the living room and sat on the couch, turning on my eReader so I could lose myself in a world of someone else’s creation.
After a while I found myself drifting off, and when I heard a knock at my door, I startled awake. I looked through the peephole and saw Marcus standing on my porch. Puzzled about why he was there after what had happened earlier, I opened the door.
“Hey, Lily.”
I thought he looked tired, although it was only about ten o’clock. “Hi.”
“Is it okay if I come in?”
“Sure.” I opened the door wider and he walked in. We stood in the entry and I gazed at him expectantly.
“I just wanted to apologize for barging in on you like that,” he said.
I smiled tentatively. “It’s okay.”
He shook his head. “I saw a strange car out front, and I have to admit, I was worried about you.”
I nodded, acknowledging to myself that I had very few visitors. In fact, Marcus was pretty much the only person who ever came by. “Why did you stop by in the first place?”
“Remember how I told you that my parents had invited me for dinner?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, they had a little surprise party for me.”
“Your birthday’s Monday, right?”
He nodded.
“Well, that was nice of them to throw you a party.”
He had a half-smile on his face. “I guess so. But I just wanted to get away for a few minutes, so I came over here.” His brow creased. “I wonder why they didn’t invite you to the party. My mom knows we’re friends.”
“Oh, well, uh, she did, but . . . I already had plans.” That was a total and complete lie, but since he’d seen Cameron at my house, he had no reason to doubt me.
He nodded and laughed. “Yeah, and again, sorry about interrupting.”
“It’s okay, really.”
He looked at the wall behind me, as if thinking, then his gaze came back to my face. “So you met this guy on that cruise?”
“Cameron, yes.”
“He must be the one who sent you those flowers.”
I nodded, uncertain where he was going with his questions.
He was quiet for a minute. “Okay. Well, I guess I’ll see you later.” He smiled, but it had a tinge of sadness in it. “That is, unless Cameron’s going to help you with your house?”
I shook my head. “No.”
His eyebrows went up.
“He’s not very good at that kind of thing.”
Marcus clenched his jaw a
s he looked at me. “Good thing you have me then.”
“That’s what friends are for, right?”
He gazed at me a moment, then nodded. “Right.” Then he turned and left, leaving me more confused than ever.
Why had he seemed upset with me?
Chapter 26
On the day I closed on my house, my joy was edged with sadness. I hadn’t heard from Cameron since the night he’d come for dinner—the night Marcus had stopped by unexpectedly. I also hadn’t spoken to Marcus since then. I’d wanted to wish him a happy birthday, but every time I’d picked up my phone to call him, the thought of our awkward conversation had stopped me. But now that I’d closed on my house, I would need to call him so we could move forward on our projects.
With the key in my pocket, I drove to my new house, and as I pulled into my driveway, a feeling of euphoria swept over me. This would be my home and I could live there as long as I wanted. I’d used enough of the money from the sale of my childhood home and Dad’s life insurance policy to make my mortgage payments manageable, without completing depleting my funds, and felt confident I would be able to make my payments.
I carried Natalie to the porch, then slid my key into the lock. I swung the door open and entered the house, my house. I grimaced as I looked at the stains on the carpet, but when I visualized the new paint on the walls and the new carpet on the floor, my grimace turned to a wide grin. It would be gorgeous.
I walked through all the rooms, letting my imagination take over, picturing freshly painted walls, with my furniture arranged just so. Stopping in the room that would be Natalie’s, I swung her around, making her giggle.
“What do you think, sweet girl? Do you like your new room?”
I imagined watching her grow up there—her first day of Kindergarten, having other little girls over to play, getting ready for her first date—and knew I had made the right choice in buying this place.
Carrying Natalie, I walked into the kitchen and let my gaze wander the room. I pictured the tile I’d picked out with Marcus and visualized it laid out on the floor and knew it would improve the look of the room.
“Guess I’ll call Marcus,” I said out loud. I looked at the stained carpet, but not wanting to place Natalie on it, I held her on my hip while I dug my phone out of my purse. The call went to voice mail and I left a message. “Hey, Marcus. It’s Lily. The house is mine now, so give me a call when you have time.” I paused, wondering what else to say, and wondering if he was still even willing to help me. Finally I said, “‘K. Talk to you later.”
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