by Lina Langley
Alois had nodded. “What about before we get married?”
“I didn’t want to get you involved.”
Alois had flashed him a dazzling smile. “Yet somehow,” he’d said. “I found a way.”
Ethan had laughed, shaking his head. “I love you,” he’d replied. “I’m glad you’re going with me.”
“Yeah,” Alois had said. “Well, you’re welcome.”
***
Ethan took a deep breath as he looked at himself in the mirror, the steam dissipating around him. He could hear Rosemary and Ava talking to each other in hushed tones, which meant they were fighting about something.
They had been there for a week. Ethan had meant it when he said they could stay as long as they wanted, so it wasn’t like he could kick them out, but he was used to his own space and sharing a place this small with his sister and his niece was driving him up the wall. It didn’t help that he’d dreamt about Alois almost every night since he had last spoken to Max—something was always happening. They were fighting, or laughing, or eating ice cream together.
They were on a plane, Alois sounding words out that Ethan could hardly say.
The dreams always ended in the hospital, a nurse ushering him away in a language he couldn’t understand, tears streaming down his face. Then the doctor, so tall and gorgeous, like a soap opera actor, coming out and telling him to sit down in perfect, unaccented British English, making Ethan think about whether he’d taken elocution classes, making him think about anything but Alois.
Every morning, he woke up with the sheets he’d put on the couch fold-out covered in sweat. A few times, he was sure he had woken up with tears in his eyes.
Because of that, Ethan had been avoiding sleeping as much as possible, but it was catching up to him. He could see it in his face, in how cloudy his eyes were as they stared back at him. He had tried to spend as much time outside as possible, but lately, even going on those long walks that used to help him so much didn’t seem to do much at all for him.
He didn’t know what was wrong. Every time he tried to think about it, his mind would drift back to Max. He wasn’t sure why, exactly. All that he was sure of was that he couldn’t go back to Max—Max wasn’t interested and Ethan was trying to respect his wishes.
Rosemary had off-handedly mentioned him a couple of times. Every time, Ethan had to stop what he was doing and pretend that he hadn’t heard, or simply moved the conversation along to something else. For someone that he had only known for a few days, it felt like Max had made too much of an impact in his life. There was nothing Max had done that should have had that much impact on Ethan, but he couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to when they had first kissed or when Max had made him crawl to him.
For some reason—for whatever reason, though Ethan was struggling to figure it out—he missed it. He missed him. Ethan wasn’t supposed to miss Max, and he had almost forgotten what it felt like to miss somebody.
Somebody he might get to see again. Missing someone when they were really, truly gone… well, that was different.
There was something bittersweet about missing Max. He understood that it was likely that they would never get together—not really—but Ethan wanted to know what would happen to Max in the future. He wanted Max to find a boyfriend, a real one, so that he could do what he had intended to do in the first place. He wanted him to be successful in his campaign.
If that meant that Ethan had to watch from the sidelines, then Ethan supposed he had to be okay with that. Ethan knew he shouldn’t have pleaded with Max to do it as quickly as he wanted to, because Max’s life was none of his business. He owed Max an apology, but he had told himself he wasn’t going to be the person to reach out to Max.
If Max wanted to talk to him, he had his phone number. Right then, what was most important was to be there for his sister and his niece.
Someone was knocking on the door of the bathroom. Ethan rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. “What?”
“It’s me,” Rosemary said. “Come out. I need to talk to you.”
“One second,” Ethan said. He grabbed the shirt he had laid out for himself, put it on and then messed up his hair. He took a long time to leave the bathroom. “What’s up?”
“We’re leaving,” Rosemary replied as soon as Ethan walked out the door. “Today.”
Ethan blinked. “Seriously?”
“Yes,” she said. “Kelsey called Ava today.”
Ethan cocked his head.
Rosemary licked her lips. “He said he’d go to counseling with her,” she said. “He said he would go to counseling with all of us.”
“Good,” Ethan said. “You really need to.”
Rosemary raised her eyebrows. Ethan grimaced. “Sorry,” he said. “Was that judgmental?”
“Yes,” his sister replied. “Yes. Super judgmental.”
“Sorry,” Ethan said again. “I just want you two to be happy.”
She sighed, grabbing his hand. “I know,” she said. “And I’m really grateful you have let us stay this long. You don’t know how much I appreciate it.”
“It’s fine,” Ethan said. “You know that you’re always welcome here.”
“I know,” she replied. “But I don’t think I want to stay here for that long. It’s a little cramped.”
He stuck his tongue out at her. “You’re welcome.”
She laughed. “I’ll send you a fruit basket,” she said, winking at him.
He smiled at her. “I do mean it, you know. You and Ava deserve to be happy.”
“I know,” she said. “She definitely does. I’m not going to let a man stand in the way of that.”
“I never expected you to,” he said. “You’re a good mother, Rosemary. You shouldn’t feel bad about anything that has happened.”
Rosemary took a deep, shaky breath. “Thank you,” she said, tears welling up in her face. “I guess I didn’t realize just how much I needed to hear that.”
He took her in his arms, giving her a long hug. She hugged him back. It was the longest, most comforting hug of his life thus far. Neither one of them had ever been huggers, but then again, he supposed neither one of them had really needed it nearly as much as they did right then.
She moved away from him. “Okay,” she said. “That’s enough of that.”
“Right? Gross,” Ethan replied, a smile on his face.
She laughed a little. “Do you mind if I ask you for one last favor?”
“No,” he said. “Whatever you need.”
She smiled. “I want you to come with us,” she said. “I want you to drop us off.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Ethan didn’t particularly want to drop Rosemary off, but he didn’t think he could back away from his offer after the moment he had shared with his sister. He did want to help, he just didn’t want to see Kelsey. His teeth were on edge as he parked his car behind Rosemary’s on the street.
He let his sister and his niece go into their building first, before he killed the ignition and stepped out of his car. He took a second to drink the atmosphere in. This wasn’t what his sister had signed up for. When Kelsey had won his seat, he had lived in a house which was very similar to Max’s. Gorgeous, with a wrap-around porch and far too many rooms, that was where Rosemary had wanted to spend the rest of her life.
After Alois had died, she had even offered to let him stay with them. Ethan had thought about it. He hadn’t wanted to go back to the same place he shared with the man he loved, to feel the emptiness of his bed, how quiet his kitchen was in the morning when Alois wasn’t puttering around in it.
Then the scandal had broken and the possibility of moving in with his sister and his brother-in-law hadn’t been on the table anymore. Rosemary had secured an apartment in the heart of the city so she could get away from him and think.
He had moved into the apartment with her a few weeks later, after he had come clean about everything. He had told Rosemary he needed her to stand by him if he was going to continu
e being the governor, so she’d done it, but Ethan didn’t think she had been happy about it.
She had still done it. She knew what was important, she’d told him. At the time, Ethan had wondered if she did know. He couldn’t help but think about that again as he entered the building, taking a deep breath before he caught up to them.
Rosemary lifted her eyebrows. He smiled at her, trying to reassure her. He wanted her to think that he had his temper under control, though it didn’t feel like it. He knew that the moment he walked through the door, he would want to punch Kelsey in the face.
Rosemary looked at Ava. “Are you ready?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
Ethan grabbed Ava’s shoulder. She looked up at him and flashed him a grateful smile. “You got this,” Ethan said.
She nodded, but doubt seemed to flicker in her eyes. He hated the idea that she would have to steel herself to deal with her own father.
He let Rosemary go in first then Ava. He thought about hanging back there and not even stepping into the apartment when he caught something from the corner of his eye that made him practically gasp.
Kelsey wasn’t alone. His silhouette might have made him look like Alois, but the way Max sat down was distinctly his own, with his back straight up and his neck slightly forward. It had struck Ethan as sophisticated, the way his hands were folded over his lap, the way he looked so intensely at the person he was talking to.
The way Max looked so intensely at him.
Ava turned around as she stopped in the hallway. “Aren’t you coming in, uncle Ethan?”
“Sure,” he replied. Shit. Now he had no choice what to do it. He could have given her an excuse and she would have been none-the-wiser. Now he had to walk in. He resisted the urge to swear under his breath and entered the apartment, flashing Max a weak smile.
Max was now staring at him. Ethan noticed that his gaze darted between him and Kelsey, who Ethan assumed was standing just out of his view.
Rosemary stopped. “I didn’t realize you’d have company,” she said.
“It was an impromptu thing,” Kelsey said from behind the wall.
Max stood up. “In any case, Mrs. Morgan, I think I should go,” he said. “I really wouldn’t want to intrude.”
She was about to tell him he wasn’t intruding, Ethan was certain of it, when Max tipped his head and strolled quickly past him. Ethan watched him, his head cocked, as he went all the way to the elevator.
He looked at Rosemary, who gave him a slight nod. That was all he needed. He practically sprinted outside, closing the door behind him. Max was in the hallway, waiting for the elevator, when Ethan stood next to him.
It was only when he was right next to Max that he realized what he had done just to be able to stand next to Max. He was trying to seem dignified, not desperate.
Max looked at him, his expression inscrutable. “Hello,” he said.
Ethan nodded at him. Maybe he was reading too much into Max’s face, but he also looked tired and bags had appeared under his eyes. He couldn’t ask Max if he had missed him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t think about it. Selfish as the thought was, it did bring him some comfort. “Hello,” Ethan said, trying for a smile. “Didn’t think I’d find you here.”
Max nodded, looking away from him. “I didn’t plan this.”
“I know,” Ethan said. “I never meant to imply that you had.”
“You didn’t,” Max replied. He exhaled heavily, then closed his eyes. “Honestly, I—I’m probably being a little bit oversensitive to you being here.”
“I mean, I’m about to leave,” Ethan said with a snicker. “But also, that’s my family in there.”
“I know,” Max said.
The elevator pinged and the door opened to let them in. Max gestured for Ethan to go in first, which he did despite how eager Ethan was to stay and talk to him.
He walked in after Ethan and stood close enough to him that their shoulders touched. “I like elevators,” he said.
Ethan raised his eyebrows.
“They help you get close to people,” Max said. “You know. Sometimes you can’t help it and it sucks, but sometimes… it’s great.”
Ethan swallowed. Max was pressing the side of his body against his own. There should have been nothing erotic about this, it should have been uncomfortable, but Ethan could feel the blood rushing to his cock, how hard he was already just from the most minimal contact.
Max leaned down a little. When he spoke, Ethan could feel his breath in his ear. “This is nice,” Max said. “I can feel you. I can smell you. God, you’re so excited just to be next to me, aren’t you?”
Ethan gulped. He did it loudly enough to make Max laugh.
“My pet,” Max said. He had started moving his hand, slowly, but surely, toward the front of Ethan’s pants. “You’re so beautiful. I’ve thought about you so much since we last saw each other. Have you thought about me too?”
Ethan swallowed again. His voice was unsteady when he spoke. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, I’ve thought about you a lot.”
“Good,” Max replied. “I like it when you think about me.”
Ethan whimpered as Max’s hand covered his crotch. He firmly grabbed Ethan’s erection through the fabric of his jeans and then looked right into Ethan’s eyes. Max’s eyes were skies, but they were bright and angry. Ethan couldn’t imagine getting lost in them.
Looking directly into Max’s eyes was like staring directly into the sunlight.
“You’ve been good, though?”
Ethan swallowed again. Fuck, yes, he had been good, even though he had thought numerous times about how much he wanted to touch himself, how much he wanted to please himself thinking about Max.
Even though Max had made it clear they weren’t going to see each other again, Ethan hadn’t managed to do it. Jacking off—even the idea of jacking off—had felt like a betrayal, and now, with his cock in Max’s hand, he was glad he hadn’t given in to his desire.
Though just the way Max was touching him right there was almost enough to make him come. He had a moment of clarity when he realized just how embarrassing that be, so he nodded and tried to squirm away from Max. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, I’ve been good.”
“Good,” Max said. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against Ethan’s own. It wasn’t a kiss, not even when Ethan tried to tilt his head forward and go for it, his lips puckered. Max laughed. “I like it when you’re good.”
Ethan groaned and tilted his head back until it hit the mirror on the wall. Max moved away from him, but not before kissing the tip of his nose.
Ethan opened his eyes to look at Max. Max had moved away from him. He was standing with his back to the door and his mouth opened to say something. Before he could, the elevator dinged and the doors opened.
Max looked up, as if he had just been reminded of where he was. He sighed as he looked at Ethan. “I’ll see you around, yes?”
Ethan blinked. He tried to find his voice as Max turned around and started to walk away from him. Ethan stared at his body, at the way that he looked as he started to get further away from him. “Wait,” Ethan said, running so he had caught up to Max again. His hand was wrapped around Max’s wrist before Max could get to the building’s exit.
Max looked at him over his shoulder, raising his eyebrows. “What?”
“I want to talk to you,” Ethan said.
Max smirked. “About what?”
“About… I don’t know,” Ethan said, instantly feeling foolish. He let go of Max’s wrist and stared at the floor. “Forget it.”
He could hear Max sigh. “No,” he said. “I mean, I know what I wanted to hear. But I shouldn’t have teased you. Not right now.”
Ethan felt his cheeks redden. It was weird how much younger Max always made him feel. This reminded him of just how much Max could cut through him, whether they were having sex or standing around in front of an elevator.
Ethan nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “I don’t know. I saw
you there, talking to Kelsey, and I just wanted to catch up.”
Max smiled at him when Ethan met his gaze. “That sounds good,” he said. “There’s a coffee shop around here. If you want to do that.”
Ethan smiled back at him. “You want to do a coffee date?”
“Not a date,” Max said, winking at him. “It can’t be.”
Ethan snickered. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I won’t touch you in public.”
“Good,” Max said, his eyes glimmering. “I wouldn’t want you to give me cooties.”
“Cooties, huh?”
“Yes,” Max said. He wrapped his arm around Ethan’s waist, pulling him closer to him. He rested his forehead against Ethan’s own and then took a deep breath. “You better give me cooties right now.”
He kissed Ethan on the mouth. Softly at first, his lips just pressing against Ethan’s own, then letting himself get lost in Ethan’s mouth. The kiss was long, perfectly warm, and it sent shivers down Ethan’s spine. There was something passionate about it, but the kiss didn’t necessarily feel sexual, though any contact from Max usually made his cock stand at full mast. Not this time, despite the fact that Max was practically dipping him back and kissing him softly on the mouth, never letting go of him.
Max stood up again and let go of Ethan. Ethan breathed out deeply when Max moved his hands away from him. “Did that work?”
“Did it work to do what?”
“You know,” Ethan said. “Give you cooties.”
Max giggled, which was weird. There was something very endearing about someone like Max giggling like a schoolboy. Ethan couldn’t stop himself. He pressed his lips against Max’s before Max could step away from him, kissing him just as deeply, just as softly as Max had kissed him.
Max’s eyes widened, then he kissed Ethan back, wrapping his arms around him again. Their bodies were pressed against each other’s, but Ethan didn’t push for more. He moved away from Max so he could catch his breath.
Max smiled at him. “What was that for?”
“You know,” Ethan said. “Just wanted to make sure I managed to give you cooties.”
