"Don't." Grayson's eyes darkened. "This was not...you weren't..." He couldn't find the words either. He looked up to the heavens for a moment, collecting himself. "I shouldn't have said that stupid shit that day. I was fucked up, and I'm sorry. I didn't know jack shit about love back then. I blamed love for my mother's problems, but it wasn't love that broke her. She was sick, and nobody realized how sick until it was too late."
I looked away from him. "I thought that I was strong, that I could handle you leaving—"
"You did handle it, Everly," Grayson cut me off, closing the distance between us. His hands came up to grip my forearms. His eyes were an intense storm of emotions that overwhelmed me. "Look at what you've done for yourself. You're fucking famous. You've got Platinum records. Fuck, Everly, I didn't even think I hurt you all that bad. Every time I saw you in an interview or on stage, the confidence and happiness you exuded justified my stupid thoughts about leaving in the first place. You were better off without me."
"I still broke, Grayson," I argued. "I can't let that happen again. I can't—"
Grayson's lips silenced me. He kissed me until every fear and insecurity washed away. He didn't stop until I melted against him, unable to stand. Then he slowly pulled away, his eyes fixated on mine. "I won't let you break, Everly. I won't hurt you again. I don't want to lose you...or Cadence."
"You just met her tonight; you don't even know her," I reminded him, not unkindly. "This may not be what you want and I can't risk that."
"It is what I want," Grayson argued; his brows furrowed in aggravation as he desperately fought for a way to make me believe him. He stilled, a sudden thought overcoming him. The broken look in his eyes made the air leave my lungs in a woosh. "Is this...is this not what you want?"
I closed my eyes tightly, unable to look at him. "My head is telling me to stop, to walk away before you hurt me, but I'm still here. Like an idiot, I'm still here, even knowing the outcome."
"You don't know the outcome." Grayson relaxed his hold on me. "I don't care if I have to prove it to you every day until you get it, Everly. I'm not going anywhere and I want to be here."
I turned my head away from him again, needing the space. "Grayson, we can't just turn into a happy functional family! Mommy, Daddy, a house with a white picket fence and a goddamn dog."
Grayson gave me a crooked smile, his eyes almost dancing with amusement at my little rant. He arched an eyebrow. "I didn't say that, did I? I said we'd figure it out. Not every family needs to be a cookie cutter June and Ward Cleaver. All I'm asking..." He hesitated, vulnerability replacing the amusement in his eyes. "All I'm asking is that you let me try. We could take things slow, just...let me try."
I swallowed hard, staring at Grayson with wide eyes. I knew that slow wasn't in our vocabulary. We were too explosive for slow, but I understood what he was saying. He wanted a chance; he wanted me to give him a chance, but how could I express to him how much that the very idea of what he was offering terrified me? That I was so scared to put my trust in him again?
It seemed that I didn't have to speak for Grayson to pick up on my concerns. His hands framed my face again, urging me to look at him. His eyes were full of torment, regret and promise. "Everly," he said, his voice husky with meaning. "I'm done walking away now—from anything I care about. Especially you and Cadence."
"How can I believe that?" I asked, the hole in my heart aching around the edges. I knew my words were cutting him to hear just as surely as they cut me to speak, but it had to be said. I could tell that Grayson was choking on the heady emotions that my question evoked. He swallowed hard, his thumb gently brushing the lone tear from my cheek.
"I'll show you," was all he could manage to say. His lips tenderly found mine, and he used them and his hands to seal the promise.
I got lost in the sensation of Grayson's hands on my body. His fingers gripped my hips almost to the point of pain. I whimpered, and he nipped my lip, grinding his apparent arousal against me and caging me against the counter. He used his knee to separate mine, and his fingers went to unclasp the button on my jeans.
Before he could free the button from its imprisonment, Cadence let out a blood curdling scream laced with terror. It was unlike anything I'd ever heard before. Grayson and I didn't even think; we both bolted to the living room to find her sitting upright and pointing at the window. Her face was ghastly pale.
"Cadence, what is it?" I demanded, falling to my knees by the couch. It wasn't always easy to tell if Cadence was having a night terror. Sometimes, her eyes were wide and full of fear while she was still asleep and dreaming.
"There's a man outside! He was looking in the window!" Cadence sobbed, her words barely understandable. Grayson was already throwing his boots and jacket on. He didn't even hesitate before throwing open the door and disappearing into the cold and snowy night.
I shivered against the intrusive gust of cold air from outside and pulled Cadence onto my lap. I still didn't know if Cadence was just having another night terror, or if she legitimately saw someone looking in. I rocked her back and forth and stroked her hair, gently singing to her. My voice lulled her off to sleep as it had so many times before.
Ten minutes later, Grayson returned gasping for breath. His cheeks were red from the cold and the running. He took off his jacket and kicked off his boots, quickly joining us in the room. "Is she alright?" he demanded, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Yeah." I nodded. "Did you find anything?"
Grayson nodded once, glowering out the window. He went over to the remote mounted to the wall that controlled his window shades and closed them abruptly.
"I chased him down the driveway, but he got into his car and drove away before I could catch him." Grayson sounded angry at himself. He disappeared into the kitchen to grab his cell phone to call it in. My heart thudded loudly in my chest and terror made my blood run cold.
I glanced at the clock on the cable box. It was nearly eight—well past Cadence’s bedtime.
"I should go," I said, looking down at Cadence. She was fast asleep in my arms again. Grayson covered the speaker of his phone with his hand and shook his head.
He raised his finger, gesturing for me to give him a moment as he listened aptly to the phone. "Yes, I'd like to report suspicious activity outside of my house. I just chased a guy off my property. He had a camera and was taking photos of us. No, I didn't know who he was, but I've seen him around before. Yes, I'll be here." He hung up the phone after relaying his address and sent me an apologetic look. "They need to come here and fill out a report."
I nodded, my heart thumping in my hollow chest. In my experience, these things always ended up on the page of some gossip magazine or another.
"Wait, you've seen him around before?"
"Yeah, he was at the two stores I went to today...and he was at Tap's the other night..."
I frowned, not liking this situation at all. This was the one thing I wanted to avoid; people following those I cared about, people camping outside of my loved ones' homes hoping to get a picture. I looked down at Cadence, the fear I felt for her malleable in my heart.
"I should really get Cadence home, Grayson," I pointed out.
"He could still be out there," Grayson countered. "Besides, the roads are crap, Everly. That car won't be able to handle them; the plows haven't been by yet. I'd much rather you stay. They'll clear the roads by morning. I've got a spare room."
I sighed, biting my lip. Cadence was already fast asleep again, and Grayson was right. I didn't particularly want to share a road with the person who had lurked outside of Grayson's house. But this wasn't exactly taking it slow, and it was far outside of my comfort zone. Still, I didn't have much of a choice in the matter. The idea of driving in this scared me.
"Fine. Could you show me the way to the spare room?" I relented.
Grayson nodded, leading the way up the pine stairs and opening a door to the right of the stairs. It was dark in the room, but I could easily make out the bed through t
he light pouring in from the hall. He turned down the plain white sheets and I placed Cadence in the bed. I tucked her in, overly aware of Grayson behind me. The hairs on my arms stood up, as if charged by his electric presence.
His hand gently squeezed my shoulder, and we retreated back into the hallway. I closed the door, leaving a few inches so the bedroom wouldn't be completely dark.
"They'll be here within fifteen minutes. Let's go downstairs," Grayson told me.
We returned downstairs in time to hear my cell phone go off. I picked it up, reading the caller ID. It was my parents. I quickly answered.
"Hey, I was just about to call you," I said into the phone. "The roads are terrible, so Cadence and I are going to stay at Grayson's." I purposely left out the part about the lurker. I knew I should tell my parents, but I knew they'd freak out. I was worried it would be just another mark in the reasons why Everly can't do this category.
"Do you really think that's wise, Everly?" Mom questioned, her voice tense. She didn't even sound like herself at all. "You said you were just going over for dinner. If I had known you'd be out so late and that you'd end up staying over at his house, I wouldn't have agreed to this! It's too soon, Everly. You need to take things slow."
My spine stiffened at my mother's words. I understood that she was worried about Cadence, but I was an adult. I was Cadence's mother.
Grayson sent me a curious look and I turned away from him.
"Yes, I think it's wise. I'd rather not risk driving on these roads right now, and Cadence is already sleeping," I shot back gently. "And she deserves to know her father, doesn't she?"
I could hear my mother sigh with resignation. "Everly, I'm just worried... okay? For the both of you. We all know what happened last time he left. I don't want to see you go through that again...I don't want to see Cadence hurt."
"I know," I murmured, my spine still stiff and my eyes filling with more moisture. "We'll be home tomorrow morning," I added. "Goodnight, Mom." I hung up without waiting for her response.
Grayson came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me against his chest. I knew he hadn't heard my mother's words, but he'd seen my response to them and that was all the tell he needed.
I turned stiffly into his embrace, and his arms wrapped around the small of my back, hugging me closer to him. It seemed like any time I allowed myself to move forward, a wave of insecurity would deliver a blow so severe, I'd stumble backwards. I was thankful he was here to catch me, but would he always?
Before he could say anything, a sharp knock sounded on his front door. Grayson regretfully pulled away from me and opened the door to two uniformed police officers.
I took a deep breath, preparing myself as Grayson welcomed them inside. They stood in the foyer, their incident reports out and pens poised.
At first, they hadn't noticed me standing in the living room. They listened to Grayson report what had happened. "My daughter saw him first," Grayson concluded. My heart nearly dislodged from my chest at his words. He hadn't intended on doing it; it had just come out. He quickly glanced over his shoulder at me, his eyes wide with astonishment and apology. I swallowed hard and pasted on a smile as both of the police officers' gazes followed Grayson's.
The younger of the two men did a double take. "Everly Daniels? From Autumn Fields?" he asked, his eyes widening with surprise. "I LOVE your music!"
I smiled shyly before Grayson cut in, glowering at the starstruck cop. "Now about this guy, are you going to put out a report for him?"
The man quickly tried to school his features and cleared his throat.
"Yes, we are," the older police man said, giving his partner a stern look as if to say get it together. "We're just going to have a look in the front there." He nodded to the front of the house. Grayson nodded, opening the door and allowing them to exit. Once the door closed behind them, he whirled to face me.
"Everly, I am so sorry, it just came out. I—" He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.
"It's alright," I told him, my voice sounding small. He had a claim on her, after all. Just because I hadn't been open with the public about my true relationship to Cadence didn't mean he had to follow suit. He didn't have to worry about his life story spread out on sleazy magazine tabloids.
Twenty minutes later, the two policemen knocked to inform us that they had all the information they needed and would keep an eye out for a person who matched the vague description that Grayson had provided. We watched as the police car pulled out of Grayson's driveway, almost sliding onto the road. The roads were messy, and the snow wasn't letting up.
I shivered and Grayson pulled me to his side. "So...I'm not sure if you want to sleep in the guest room or..." He arched a brow, smirking.
"Seriously? You're thinking about that in a time like this? What happened to slow?" I whacked him playfully on the shoulder and rolled my eyes, hiding the fact that his suggestive words had completely affected me.
"Of course I am." Grayson shrugged with apology. "And I could take it slow for you, angel...if that's what you need," he said, smiling dangerously.
Chapter Twelve
Grayson
COCOONED IN THE WARMTH of my huge bed with Everly's head nestled against my shoulder, the soft exhale almost tickling my chest, I felt damn near close to heaven. I thought I did a good job distracting her from the dark path her thoughts had started to take her.
I smirked at the memory of her beneath me...and on top of me. The way her lids would flutter as if she struggled to keep them open, the soft gasps she'd let out each time I pushed deeper inside of her. My cock jumped, celebrating the memory as well.
Everly sighed, nuzzling even closer against me and her hand splaying out across my chest. She felt so good in my arms, so right. Knowing that Cadence was down the hall just added to the warmth in my heart in ways I couldn't fully comprehend. This felt right, as fucked up as it was to admit. This was how it was supposed to be. How it should have been.
My hand came up to gently play with the strands of Everly's long hair while I thought about the night. It hadn't gone exactly the way I'd planned on it going—the whole lurker with his face pressed against my living room window was a clear indication of that. Plus, our heavier conversations.
I wasn't an idiot; I knew that Everly wasn't falling as easily into this as I was. I knew she loved me and I didn't doubt that. I knew she wanted me, but I had scarred her and she wasn't ready to trust me again. Not yet. The phone call from her mother only seemed to make things worse.
I had no idea what her mother said to her, but I knew it wasn't good by the defeated set to her shoulders and the slight tremble in her jaw when Everly hung up the phone. I knew that it probably had everything to do with me.
I couldn't blame her mother for wanting to protect Everly, but I was determined not to let the past repeat itself and I wouldn't stop proving it until Everly—and everyone around us—believed it. I would make this work, because the alternative just didn't cut it for me. I wanted this, and I wanted it every day. I didn't have to completely know the little girl down the hall to know that I already loved her and would do anything for her; that was apparent when I was chasing the intruder with blood thirsty eyes.
I'd never felt more rage in my life than I did in the moment I realized that the intruder had a camera lens aimed at my daughter. I'd nearly caught the bastard too, and I couldn't be too sure¸ but the jacket looked so damn familiar. He's lucky that I didn't catch him. I wasn’t sure I would have been able to reign in the rage.
I had known, in that desperate moment as I watched the intruder escape in his crappy rental, that there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for those two.
Still, I had heard Everly's sharp intake of breath when I foolishly stated that "my daughter" had seen the trespasser first. I hadn't meant to say that; the words had just stumbled from my lips before I could even grasp the meaning of them. I knew that Everly didn't want anybody to know because she was worried about it getting out to the
public. She didn't want paparazzi to stalk Cadence or her parents. She wanted to be left alone. After tonight, I understood that.
But saying the words felt right. My daughter. Our daughter. I swear to God, I nearly cried then and there and I am not an emotional guy. In fact, I'm the furthest thing from an emotional guy.
The first and only person that had ever really gotten any kind of positive emotion out of me had been Everly. I'd changed since knowing her—in a good way. Even when I burned what we had to the ground, even when I made the biggest mistake of my life, I was changed because of her. Because I put her needs before my own. She needed me to go, or she wouldn't have followed her dreams.
I hated that I'd left her, especially knowing what I left behind. But I couldn't change the past...I could only build the future.
I dozed off, my thoughts finally quieting enough for me to fall asleep, lulled by Everly's soft breathing.
***
The next morning, I awoke before Everly. She was still nestled in my arms, still fast asleep. At first, I tried to place what had woken me up. The house seemed quiet. Then I blinked and turned my head, seeing Cadence standing in the doorway of my room, her arms wrapped tightly around the purple bear.
"Hey...good morning," I said softly, trying to free my limbs from Everly without waking her. She slept on while I sat up. I was thankful that I'd thought ahead enough to put on some pajama bottoms. "Are you hungry?"
Cadence nodded, watching me with suspicious eyes while I quietly got up and grabbed a shirt from my drawer. I put it on and motioned for Cadence to follow me. She did, solemnly keeping pace with me.
I lifted her up and set her down in one of the island bar stools. "So, what do you like to eat?" I asked, gesturing to the kitchen. "I am king of breakfast," I told her, winking. Cadence gave me a small smile and shrugged, her feet swinging and knocking against the cabinet wood. "Not chatty this morning? That's alright. I'll just make a bit of everything," I told her, setting to work. I was thankful that I lived off of bacon, sausage and eggs. My refrigerator was always stocked full of those items, at least. I fried them up while I made toast, tossing a few pancakes on the griddle just to be safe. Cadence wasn't giving me any hints on what she wanted.
Reckless Abandon (Damaged #2) Page 12
