Hitman's Obsession

by Minx Hardbringer

  [MS5]Watching what?

  [MS6]Spelling includes a hyphen per Merriam-Webster.

  [MS7]When used as a direction (we south on I-45), it’s not capitalized, but is when talking about it as a region.

  [MS8]Not sure but shouldn’t it be capitalized since the word is being used to describe the organization?

  [MS9]Dropped the comma because no pause needed here.

  [MS10]This is one of my favorite words. There’s just something about it that’s fun. Yeah, I’m strange.

  [MS11]Per Merriam-Webster (MW), the shortened version of until has two ‘l’s.

  [MS12]You mentioned earlier that it was a handcrafted, rustic chair.

  [MS13]LOL She is a feisty girl.

  [MS14]He’d (he had) suggests the father had already chosen Mara’s husband. Even if he has, there’s no way Salvatore would know at this time.

  [MS15]Love this line.

  [MS16]Should readers know what this is? Special email? VSP? Dark Web?

  [MS17]A comma slows the sentence down with a pause. Tense moment so you probably don’t want things to slow down at this point.

  [MS18]Just checking to make sure this isn’t supposed to be the silent dark.

  [MS19]I’m guessing a sex scene will be included below?

  [MS20]Correct spelling per Merriam-Webster.

  [MS21]Changed spelling to maintain consistency with how the word appeared in previous paragraph.

  [MS22]Seems like he’d fall down the stairs and then crumple to the ground.

  [MS23]Changed slightly. Airport was used four times in two paragraphs. This one was the easiest to lose without having to do much rewriting.

  [MS24]LOL Love this part.