L. A. Candy

by Lauren Conrad

  “Okay, so we’re gonna read off a list of words,” Dana said, all business again. “You say the first thing that comes to your mind. It’s just for fun so don’t think about it. Say whatever pops into your head.”

  “Okay.” Jane straightened up a little.

  “One-night stands,” Dana said, staring.

  “Umm…trashy,” Jane replied, scrunching her nose a little.

  “Shoes.”

  “Love.”

  Wendell nodded in agreement.

  “Los Angeles.”

  “Big.”

  “Friendship.”

  “Long-lasting.”

  “Love.”

  “Rare.”

  Dana finished writing something in her notebook, then looked up at Jane. “And lastly…why did you move to L.A.? Besides your job, why L.A.?”

  Jane thought for a minute. “To be uncomfortable.”

  Dana and Wendell looked at her, a little confused.

  “My whole life I’ve always been safe, boring…comfortable,” Jane explained. “I’ve had the same friends my whole life. I have a great family. I grew up in a beautiful place. I was really lucky, but I came to L.A. to get out of my comfort zone and do something different.”

  Dana and Wendell looked at each other, and Dana nodded almost imperceptibly.

  “Okay, then, we’re all done,” Dana said. “We’ll be in touch, okay?”

  “It’s over?” Jane said, surprised.

  “It’s over,” Wendell told her. “You’re free to go. You did great!”

  “I did?” Jane felt like she’d only just gotten into the swing of things. Could she really have been great?

  She got up, said her thank-yous and good-byes (she went to shake Wendell’s hand, because it seemed like the right thing to do, and instead shared an awkward half-handshake, half-hug with him; Dana was fine with a brief but firm handshake), and headed back in the direction of the waiting room. In the hallway, she passed Scarlett and the girl with the Free Tibet tee. How did it go? Scarlett mouthed to her. I don’t know, Jane mouthed back. She wished she had time to give Scarlett a quick lowdown before she walked into her interview. Although, knowing Scarlett, she would do just fine. Aside from her occasional bad attitude, Scarlett was extremely well-spoken and quick-witted.

  While Jane sat in the plain room with the uncomfortable beige chairs, waiting for Scarlett, a thought occurred to her: If being filmed by one camera and examined by two people made her nervous, how would she ever be able to get used to filming a reality show? If two people noting and judging her words bothered her, then how would she handle being scrutinized by so many? She wondered just how many people watched PopTV.

  “Hey, how’d it go?”

  Jane pressed the phone closer to her ear as she curled up on the couch. It was late Thursday night. Scarlett had gone to the library after the interview to work on a paper for her English class.

  The sound of Braden’s voice made her feel immediately at ease. She had been on edge since the PopTV interview earlier that evening. Talking to Braden was like taking a long, hot bubble bath or eating a pint of chocolate ice cream, but better.

  “I don’t know. They said I did great. But I’m not sure they really liked me.”

  “Did you like them?”

  Jane thought about Dana and Wendell. “They were okay. The guy—Wendell—was pretty nice.”

  “How did Scarlett’s interview go? Did she say?”

  “She said it was a piece of cake. I think she liked being a smart-ass on camera.” Jane chuckled.

  “So what happens next?”

  “They said they’ll be in touch. What does that mean?”

  “That means they’ll call you if they want you to come in for a callback. That’s like a second interview. And if not…well, their loss.” Braden added, “The most important thing is, do you want to be on this show?”

  “I’m not sure,” Jane admitted. “I think Scar’s actually kind of into the idea now that she knows it’s totally legit. Plus, she already looks like a TV star. But why are they even interested in me? My life isn’t exactly exciting.”

  “Maybe they don’t want ‘exciting.’ Maybe they want you, exactly as you are.”

  “Um, thanks?”

  Braden laughed. “You know what I mean!”

  It was kind of weird, discussing all this with Braden. She and Scarlett had been in L.A. for less than two weeks, and they were being seriously considered for a TV show. Braden had been in L.A. for way longer, and he was still looking for steady work. But if he was envious, he kept it to himself. In fact, he sounded totally supportive. Which was one of the things that made him so amazing.

  She didn’t want to ruin a perfectly good conversation, but she had to ask him about Willow. He was no longer just a cute guy she’d met at a bar. He was becoming her friend. Friends know this kind of stuff about each other. “So. What’s with you and Willow?”

  There was a pause. “Willow,” Braden said. “Hmm, how do I answer that? It’s kinda complicated.”

  “Complicated?” Jane picked at some lint on her favorite embroidered pillow.

  “Yeah, well…we’ve been hanging out for, like, three years, since we were eighteen. It’s an on-again, off-again thing.”

  On-again, off-again? Really? Jane wondered if that was how Willow saw things. Either way, he and Willow had definitely appeared on-again at Big Wangs.

  “Oh. Well, Scar thought she was your girlfriend,” Jane blurted out, then immediately felt dumb. Why was she bringing Scar into this? Way to be totally juvenile, Jane.

  “Why would Scarlett think that?”

  Because you and Willow were practically making out at Big Wangs? she wanted to point out. “She’s not wrong,” Jane said instead.

  “But she’s also not right.” Braden laughed, a little uncomfortably, Jane thought.

  They talked for only a little while longer before Jane realized that it was after midnight, so they said their good-byes. She had work in the morning—staff meetings were always on Fridays, and always promptly at 8 a.m.

  But once she had slipped into bed, she had a hard time getting to sleep. Her mind churned with thoughts of the interview, rewinding to different moments. Why had she said this? Why hadn’t she said that instead? And soon her thoughts drifted to Braden—she was glad that asking about Willow hadn’t soured the conversation, but had to admit she was disappointed by his answer.

  It was around 2 a.m., when she finally felt her eyelids growing heavy, that she realized that she actually wanted to be on Trevor Lord’s new show. She had meant it when she told Dana and Wendell that she had moved to L.A. to be uncomfortable. What better way to push the boundaries of her small, safe, perfectly pleasant life than to put it on TV, for thousands—or millions?—of people to see?

  11

  WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

  Scarlett and Jane got the phone call on a Saturday, while they were shopping at Target for “cute things to decorate the apartment” (according to Jane) and “crap we don’t need so we can pretend that we don’t live in a total shit hole” (according to Scarlett).

  They had been talking about Braden, and Scarlett hadn’t been telling Jane what she wanted to hear. Scarlett watched as Jane held up a bath mat in each hand. She wasn’t positive, but they seemed to be the exact same shade of blue.

  “Which one do you like better? I think the teal one may go better with our bathroom,” Jane said.

  “You’re seriously holding two of the exact same mat.”

  “No.” Jane dropped them both on the floor and took a step back. “The one on the left has a little more green in it. I just don’t know which I like better.”

  “There is literally no difference between the two,” Scarlett said, amused both at the way Jane had changed the subject and how seriously she was examining the mats. “I asked Braden to meet us tonight for a drink,” Jane had said when they had first walked into the store.

  Jane had looked like she was about to say something else but Sca
rlett interrupted. “Seriously? You’re gonna bring sand to the beach? We’ll be at a place full of guys. Why would you invite one? And one with a girlfriend?”

  Scarlett could tell when Jane was in denial about a guy, which happened more often than not. In high school, before Caleb, Jane had fallen for more than a few boys with “complications”…aka boys with ex-girlfriends who refused to stay ex-girlfriends (like Rob, who kept getting wasted at parties and hooking up with his ex, Brittany, or Danny, who insisted on being BFFs with his ex, Rachel, who openly hated Jane and trash-talked her to Danny at every opportunity) or guys who were otherwise not prime boyfriend material. It was kind of a recurring theme for Jane. Although who was Scarlett to talk, since she wasn’t exactly an expert on relationships?

  “He said he couldn’t anyway. He said he was busy all weekend with something he can’t get out of,” Jane said, adding a pout.

  “Yeah…a relationship,” Scarlett reminded her.

  “I told you. She’s not really his girlfriend. They have this on-again, off-again thing. It’s complicated.”

  “How complicated could it be? She’s into him. He’s into exploring his options.”

  “Maybe.” Jane had shrugged and wandered toward the Home aisles.

  Poor Janie, Scarlett thought. She needs another boy to distract her from this one—fast.

  Now in the bath aisle, Jane was studying each mat, ignoring Scarlett. Scarlett was about to say something else when she heard the muffled sound of a cell phone. She knew it wasn’t hers, because she had left it in the car.

  “Janie? I think that’s yours,” Scarlett noted.

  “Huh? Oh!” Jane fished through her massive bag looking for it, spilling a couple items on the floor in the process: a tube of peach lip gloss, a balled-up receipt, and a tampon. “Crap!”

  She bent down to retrieve them as she found her cell and shoved it against her ear. “Hello?” she said, sounding a little flustered.

  Nearby, a little boy watched with interest as the tampon rolled down the aisle toward him. “Oh, jeez,” Scarlett muttered. She walked toward him and snatched up the tampon before he did. “Stick to Legos, kiddo,” she told him. The boy laughed and ran off.

  “Yes, this is she,” Scarlett heard Jane say to the person on the other end.

  Stuffing the tampon into her back pocket, Scarlett glanced at the shopping cart, which Jane had somehow managed to completely fill with unnecessary items: silk pillows, lamps, frames, area rugs, vases, baskets, candles, and…did she seriously get a noise machine? It was going to take a little more than crashing waves and seagulls to drown out the big rigs flying by their windows all night long. Still, Jane did have good intentions. She was trying hard to make their home cute. Scarlett felt a little bad about giving her such a hard time for trying to turn their dump into less of a dump.

  “Oh, hey! Trevor! How are you?”

  Scarlett’s head snapped up.

  Jane grinned at Scarlett and pointed to the phone. It’s him! she mouthed.

  Scarlett was a little surprised. It had been nearly two weeks since they had gone in for the interviews. After so many days of not hearing from anyone, they had assumed Trevor had cast some other girls. Which had been a disappointment, since Scarlett had actually gotten into the idea of being on TV. The interview had been a blast. She had liked watching the shocked expressions on Dana’s and Wendell’s and the cameraman’s faces as she described her philosophy about one-night stands and so forth.

  And Jane had confessed to Scarlett that she, too, wanted to be on the show. Something about getting out of her “comfort zone.” When it looked like they weren’t going to get a callback, Jane had mourned the lost opportunity by playing hookie from work one afternoon and finishing off an entire pint of Cherry Garcia ice cream in front of the TV.

  “Yeah, she’s with me right now,” Jane was saying. “Oh, she left her phone in the car.” She gestured furiously for Scarlett to come stand next to her, then pulled the phone away from her ear so they could both listen in. Scarlett leaned her head against Jane’s.

  Trevor continued, “So I’m sorry it’s taken two weeks for me to get back to you guys, but I’ve been putting together a crew. It’s been hell. Anyway, I watched both of your interviews and they looked great. Meet me for lunch and let’s talk about the show.”

  What????

  Scarlett grabbed Jane’s hand and squeezed, hard. Jane squeezed back.

  “What the hell does that mean? Are we in?” Scarlett whispered.

  “I don’t know,” Jane mouthed back, her blue eyes wide.

  “Jane? You still there?” Trevor said after a moment.

  “Yeah!”

  “How about the Ivy, tomorrow at one. My assistant will make a reservation.”

  “Sure,” Jane said.

  “Great! See you tomorrow.”

  “’Kay. Bye.”

  Jane snapped her phone shut and stared at Scarlett. “What just happened?” she asked, sounding puzzled. “Does that mean he wants us to do the show?”

  “Why would he meet with us if he didn’t?” Scarlett pointed out, although even as she said it she doubted herself because, really? He’d chosen them? Out of how many other girls? It just seemed so…unbelievable. But also, exciting!

  “Oh my God,” Jane whispered.

  Scarlett couldn’t decipher if Jane was feeling total disbelief or total fear. The two emotions on her face were harder to differentiate than the damned bath mats.

  Jane just stared at Scarlett in the middle of the bathroom accessories aisle at Target. “Are we gonna be on TV?”

  Scarlett stared right back at her. “Shit. I think so!” Then she told Jane to get both mats.

  “We’re living on the edge now,” Jane joked.

  “Yep. Watch out, world. Our bath mats are coming to entertain you!”

  All the tension of the Braden conversation slipped away as they wheeled their cart down the aisle, trading quips about their impending TV stardom.

  12

  HOW INTIMATE AND UP CLOSE?

  As Jane and Scarlett walked up to the pretty brick building with a white picket fence, Jane noticed several photographers holding cameras and camcorders. She headed for the restaurant’s front entrance, past the ivy-covered trees and the thick, fragrant curtain of climbing roses.

  The hostess led them to the beautiful patio and one of the umbrella-adorned tables, where Trevor was typing on his BlackBerry. He looked up from the screen and smiled at them, then rose from his seat to kiss each girl on the cheek. He wore black slacks, a black long-sleeved button-down shirt, and a silver Rolex watch. His curly, silvery black hair brushed his collar, and his intense brown eyes scrutinized both girls with a look Jane couldn’t quite read. She detected the slightest trace of some subtle, expensive-smelling aftershave. She had found him very good-looking at Les Deux, and her opinion hadn’t changed. She normally didn’t find older men attractive (was he in his late thirties or early forties?), but he had a certain self-confidence that was appealing.

  “Sit. Please. How are you guys?” He seemed like he was in a good mood.

  “Great!” Jane replied. Scarlett nodded.

  Jane sat down, tucked her bag under her seat, and surveyed the patio. She had seen pictures of celebrities eating at the Ivy in magazines, so it felt weird to be there. It was a nice day—a balmy Sunday—and the restaurant looked busy. It was smaller than she thought it would be. (She recalled her Jared Walsh sighting that day on Melrose and thought maybe everything in L.A. was smaller in person.) She recognized a blond man sitting two tables away. Is that the guy from the cell phone commercial?

  “Have you guys eaten here yet?” Trevor asked as he opened his menu. “People won’t shut up about the fucking vegetable salad.”

  “Seriously?” Scarlett grinned.

  “Seriously. So.” Trevor leaned forward and clasped his hands together. It occurred to Jane that he had a way of making a person feel like she was the only one in the room. “L.A. Candy. What do you think?
”

  “L.A. Candy?” Jane repeated.

  “L.A. Candy. As the name of the show.”

  “It sounds like an adult video…or a bad board game,” Scarlett joked.

  “Or a number-one show?” Trevor smiled smugly.

  “High expectations?” Jane teased him.

  “No, very realistic. There’s such a demand for programming for girls in your demographic right now. Network execs are really focusing on that group, and this show is exactly what they are looking for. They’re willing to bet a lot of money on this show being number one.”

  Jane sat back. A number-one show? Since getting Trevor’s call yesterday, she had imagined…what? That the show might or might not go forward, might or might not get canceled after one season, might or might not be a distant memory this time next year. She definitely hadn’t imagined that it might be a top-rated show. The idea gave her goose bumps. She glanced over at Scarlett, who looked kind of stunned too.

  “It’s going to be the two of you, and two other girls,” Trevor continued. “You’ll meet them soon. The cameras will be following the four of you around at your jobs, at school, at home, at clubs. However you normally spend your days and nights. It will be very intimate and close-up.”

  Ohmigod, this is really happening! Jane thought.

  “How intimate and close-up?” Scarlett asked. “Like are there going to be shots of me shaving my legs?”

  “Scarlett!” Jane laughed. “I don’t think he’s interested in that.”

  Trevor smiled. “No worries. As I told you both, this will be a reality version of Sex and the City, but a little more PG. The cameras will definitely leave you alone during your personal grooming moments.” He added, “As lovely as you are, Scarlett, I don’t think anyone wants to watch you shave your legs.”

  After the waitress came by to get their drink orders, Trevor went on. “You’re probably wondering about the practical stuff. As for your contracts, our lawyers are drawing them up as we speak. Dana will be in touch with you about the first day of shooting. If it works for you, we’d like to start the week after next. Most likely that Monday. In general, the shooting schedule is planned at the beginning of each week. Dana will keep you posted on that, check in with you about what you’ll be doing and where you’ll be that week, and so forth. Whenever there’re locations involved, like a restaurant or club or school or office or apartment building—really, any place at all—my staff will have to get clearance to shoot. And speaking of apartment buildings…where do you girls live?”